"MY LETTERS TO GOD": August 2025

Friday, August 1, 2025

Lord, I am filled with anxieties and issues and requests galore. A classic answer to someone who has a problem……”Have you prayed about it?” Is a question I have posed to others in the past. Sometimes I’m sure someone would like to give me a punch in the nose. And, sometimes it’s me that needs it! I’m not sure why….. but it’s all too often it’s the last thing I want to do! I am always wanting to do something else first. Of course then it’s too late. I’ve gone and forgotten, while a few more issue's are added to my list. Why is it so hard to talk to You? I tell You all my heart thoughts…..I speak almost too real, knowing that You are aware of how I feel already, so why candy coat it! I do get tired of doing all that is expected of me all the time! And, sometimes I wonder why I can’t say what I really think! I’m old now. I think it should be a rule. I get tired of trying to anticipate what someone wants or needs…..doing or saying what I’m pretty sure they need to hear or need from me………and find out I am totally wrong. Yeah, finding out about two years after or two weeks later is not funny to me. Expectations are funny. And not necessarily funny (ha!ha!) No, not at all. I’ve done this for years……and usually am always disappointed because it wasn’t what the other person needed or wanted. I remember having a study one time at church. Everybody seemed excited and I was looking forward to it. I had an awesome group of women. Don’t You remember Lord! There must have been 15, maybe! I gave a rundown of what we would be discussing for the next few weeks and started asking some questions. Sent them home with a little homework on what they felt their deepest needs were. All anonymous. I think I ended up with four that stuck it out. Why do people want answers for their problems and concerns but if it requires thinking and writing it down……it’s not going to happen. It takes commitment, honesty and consistent prayer. I know, Lord……I talk a good game but when push comes to shove, I find my get up and go, got up and went already! I’m as guilty as the next one….I’ve just been working on flaws so long…..I think someone else needs a turn! I’m finding myself a little silly writing these little quips to You….I just listened to a devotional by DL Moody. I’m sure he wouldn’t deem me too funny!

Lord, I’m always wondering what YOU want me to do for You. I am willing. I think You know that, but most of the time it takes me a while to get to it. By then, the steam has settled and I become lazy. Could You give me a jacking up? Be gentle. I am trying to be your ambassador…..instrument…..servant…..whatever You need…..I believe You will give me the strength when I need it and when You know I’m serious. I recently tried expressing my thoughts…..I found myself struggling for the right words. I forgot the advice my Mother gave me a long time ago……”It’s better to have people think you are a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt”. So, help me with that, Lord!

I am forever grateful that You came to provide us with eternal life. I want more than anything for You to be proud of me…..and to let me into the Heavenly Portal. I pray always in the name of Jesus. Amen and amen.

Introduction to "My Letters To God"

My letters to God came about by my need to communicate with Him on a regular basis. I needed to, as a christian, a wife and a mother notwithstanding, pray every day. As a young mother I found myself almost continually interrupted by my two little girls. All for necessary and legitimate reasons. You and I both know satan uses every trick in the book to keep us from communing with God and I felt that he was definately getting the upperhand. So, one day out of sheer desperation, I grabbed a sheet of paper or a notebook (I don't remember) and began to scribble out a prayer for God to come and rescue me. I needed to tell Him EXACTLY how I felt. I needed Him and felt that this was my only recourse. Invariably, before I started writing, when I was interrupted I hardly ever would go back to my devotion time. I'd forget where I was in my prayertime and it all seemed futile.....after all, the wash had to be done, the beds had to be made, baths needed to be taken care of.....etcettera.....etcettera....etcettera. After the first attempt, I tried it again and again until this wonderful habit was formed for me. I could literally stop mid-sentence and almost always go back , and pick up where I had left off. As I found my time with God lengthening because of my determination to do this, it ended up being my solace. Even with two more daughters and a son as the years went by. I often found that it was truly a wonderful thing when I would search for a word that described what I REALLY felt. Many times in my prayertime prior to this , I would skim over the

hard parts that would express my angst to Him sort of mumbling, "Lord, you know what I mean.....". I was so terribly desperate to express how I really felt. To that, I could only tell Him in my tears and fears and frustration hoping He would still love me. I'd reread sometimes and find that I was alot meaner than I knew He would be pleased with.....or, I was not as bad as I believed I was.

Writing to God has followed me into the years that the world says are the "senior years". It doesn't matter to me. As long as I can hold a pen and write Him all of my heart thoughts, the "mind stealers" will not deter me. I am determined to be God's instrument. I will blow my horn for Him as long as He gives me breath!

As I share my letters with you, past and present, may you find in Him the solace that you need. He will give that to each of us. This is my prayer.

"MY LETTERS TO GOD"

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Friday, August 1, 2025

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