Good morning, dear One.  Oh, my.  I have done it again.  I wait so long to write......to write out my thoughts to You.....literally and figuratively.....I just wait too long.  I wish I could think of something legitimate to blame it on, but, I can't.  It's the usual...lazy bones attitude.....too much on my plate.....waiting until I have "a mind to" or just, the usual "I'm not sure I want people to see this part of me" excuse.  Actually, Lord.....after all these prayers I've posted, there is not too much that could surprise them.  How about You, Lord......?  Have I surprised You lately?  I wonder.  Probably not.  I am unusually calm today and rather serene in my thoughts and plans to accomplish an amount of packing that surprises even me.  I'm not sure Lord.....but, I truly wonder if this "stuff" of mine multiplies over night.  I wake up and walk through a maze of boxes trying to get through to the next room.  I am thinking that I must go through some of these boxes again.....and purge a little more.  Lord.....You have helped me see so much of  "what I've saved forever and really don't need".....and that once I have decided it is "no longer of use to me"......I'll never think of it again.  I need that enforced in my mind, once again.  I'm beginning to fall back into the old way of packing.  "Once I get there, I can get rid of what I don't have room for".  Dear Lord.......You and I both know that the amount of boxes I'm amassing is ridiculous.  Where am I moving our possessions to?  A two-bedroom apartment.  No dining area.  No shed.  No garage.  No attic.  Just writing it out in black and white is scary......and actually, quite real.  I realize Lord, that my head is full of all the events about to come to fruition for us.  The time of being a Pastor and wife in the Wesleyan Church is coming to an end.  My description will now be ......former Pastor's wife.  And, yes....honestly, Lord......I have looked forward to this part of our life.  But, I will miss the calling that I felt called to as well as my husband.  I am grateful and thankful for the fact that You allowed me to do this job.  I thank You, Lord.....for giving me a voice.  For the talents that You provided and I gleaned so much from.  You gave me so much.  I ask that whatever comes for us in the next few months with this transition......that I, along with my love, will please You in what I say and in what I do.  See, Lord.....there's nothing earth-shaking in this prayer.  Actually, to anyone else.....it's probably a boring one.....or "corny" as someone just described the book I just published.  You know what, Lord.....to You, I say.....I love You, Lord.  I thank You for listening to the cries of my heart......and the whining of my very being.....when I am at the end of myself.  You are the God of my being.  Savior of mine......I need You.

I pray this prayer in the name of Jesus.  Amen. 

Once again, I invite you to think about purchasing the book I recently published of my letters.  The title:  "My Letters to God"

by S.Corrine Davis can be purchased at the Hopefreelancing website....if you click onto the store site.  It will take you through the buying process.  Or, you can click onto the AMAZON website.....if you type in the same title and/or my name....it will take you right through the buying process.  The second edition of the book is at  press right now.....and will be ready this week.  Thank you so much.

Lord....Now, You are well aware of my issues.  I certainly don't need to remind you.....but, You need to know that I am going to lose my mind if You do not rescue me.  I have years and years of things that I have hoarded (yes, I actually said it!).  I remember, so vividly, wanting something (nothing in particular), and being blessed by seeing "it" at a yard sale for practically nothing or having it given to me, free and clear.  Now, my "blessings" have turned into burdens and weights that are forcing me to decide something so difficult.  Getting rid of these blessings.....giving them to someone else...or throwing it out!!  These are heart rending decisions.  I love stuff.  I have always loved stuff.  Ribbons, laces, materials, old frames, new frames that look like old frames, boxes to put "stuff" in.......Oh, my....dear Lord!  No one needs this much stuff.  Help me to see that.  Help me to purge.  Help me to pack not one thing that I could buy at another thrift store for practically nothing.  I am allowing these material things to hamper me......and drag me down.  I am not going to let it happen.  What does that scripture say?  About the weights that stop us in our tracks?  Let me look it up, Lord.  Yeah.....I have it right here.  I would like for You to help me associate this verse with the dilemma I seem to have about this right now.  "Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin that so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.........." Hebrews 12:1  Oh, dear One....help me.  Even the things precious mothers, and grandmas, and special friends through out the years.......all of them have presented me with things they didn't really want to part with.  I almost feel like they're watching me appoint their things to the "Goodwill" and are disappointed in me.  Lord.....could you tell me.....Is there any hope for me?  Only You....right now.....can help me think!  I am about to drive my sweet daughter out of here.....because I want to hold onto things that I will not ever use.......or think about again.  The things I will use and cannot replace......I guess that would be where I need the wisdom.  Lord.  Seriously.  I am ashamed of these piddly requests.  There is such bedlam so many places.  Earthquakes....floods.....storms......riots......killings.....(right down the road, drug related!)  And, oh my!  I am upset about getting rid of a box of old frames and pieces of laces and ribbons.  Knick-knacks and paddy whacks!  I am groaning about things that mean very little in the scheme of life and death.  The worries about "where to move" and "when to move"...are sort of being decided without my interference.  Knee surgeries and rehabilitation sort of take precedence.  Walking is important, Lord.....and the closer I get to not being able to......is scary.  When John said the other day....."Hey, hon......want me to go get that cane out of my office and bring it over?" and my response being......"Shoot, I don't need a cane......I need a walker!!"........Well, Lord......that whole exchange gave me a real head's up!  I am nervous about the whole thing.....but, because of the timing......and the turn of events......I honestly feel that You are running the show.  Thank You, Father.  I will wait on You.....as I have been.....and believe that "all things do work together for my good".  I have to admit though, seeing the reality is a hard thing.  
For all I do not understand......yet, still pray for Your will to be done........well, Lord......I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen.




For those of you who may be interested in purchasing one of my books......Click onto the hopefreelancing.com website and click onto "store".  It will take you through the buying process.  Or.....you can get on AMAZON.COM and type in "My Letters to God" or my name, S.Corrine Davis.  The book will come onto the screen and you can order soft cover or ebook or kindle.  Thank you ahead of time for purchasing my book.  This has been done for God's glory.....not mine.

I know it, Lord........every time, I am almost positive You are tugging at my arm.....(or the back of my neck).....to sit down and write to You.  Oh my word, Lord.....today I feel as if I will burst.  I have to tell You how I feel. And, why I feel that way.  And, what You can do for me when nothing changes.....IF.......nothing changes.  John and I are just about at the end of our time in the pastorate.  It is a place that I was always pretty comfortable with.  I always knew that I would be a Pastor's wife.  I always knew that people would be watching......judging......comparing......gossiping......just to name a few words that describe my chosen profession.  Along with You....since I was born a child of the pastorate.....I knew what was coming.  I have found, dear One......that even though the road can be difficult, I have always found comfort in the fact that You chose me to fulfill this place.  Thank You for allowing the Pastor You chose, too.....to have the girl he wanted in his life.  It was, all You.  I thank You and praise You for the journey You prepared for us right from the beginning.  I remember each and every place.  I remember...."the call".  I remember the day of the "move".....and all of the "imagined" worries and how You allayed all of those fears.  I remember the girls, still not teenagers yet.....wondering if the next place we would move, would have "Cocoa Puffs" at the grocery store.  (Lord, I am wondering if the next place we move will have "my" version of "Cocoa Puffs."  )   And, of course, You know exactly what I mean!
As we leave here.....I wonder..... "Have I Done My Best for Jesus?"  So many of my questions when we came......still have not been answered.  So many answers to the "issues" people struggle with....well, honestly Lord......I really thought with a few verses of scripture.....wagging of a finger......and Your divine touch......I honestly thought, Lord.....that would be the winning ticket in this race we are in.  It hasn't been.  People are stubborn.  They don't want to be construed in any way as "wrong".  They want their way to do things.....to be everybody's way to do things.  If not.....it's "Hit the road, Jack......and don'cha come back no more, no more.....!"  Father in heaven......I have seen people come.  I have seen people go.  I have seen people come back.......and I have seen people leave again.  I wish......Oh, Lord....how I wish we could have made people happy enough to stay and fight for the church and the havoc that Satan presents on a regular basis.  It is through "Your people", Lord....they (and they don't seem to ingest this information) are the ones that grow a church.  Lord,  I know that folks really believe the opposite is true.  If people engage each other.....love each other as they love themselves......it is a combination that can't lose.  I remember so clearly how my own preacher father felt at a loss....at what to do with people.  He felt incompetent, the later years of his ministry, because of how he was treated not only by the Church but by the people who claim to love You.  Lord.....I grieved over that issue so long.  I blamed You.  I had to blame someone, I thought.  The fault?  I don't even know any more.  It doesn't matter.  I do know that he fulfilled his call to You, dear One.  He was faithful to Your calling for him.  As I peruse the corners of my mind to be mindful of my job and how I performed it......I feel clear.  Lord, I will not let the enemy of our souls win this one.  He can kiss my foot.  It's closest to him......since he's down there with the sneaky snakes of the world.......I am sorry to be so hateful......but, that is one created being that deserves to be despised.  
I remember, so vividly, that thinking that the whole job should be pretty easy.  If folks would just believe that You provide the POWER  to save us........and that You provide the POWER to let us be "forgivers"......and that You provide the POWER to help us choose love to envelope people who come to us that we really don't care too much for. (Oooo....It's often true.....but, not said aloud!)
I don't believe that they REALLY believe You Can Do That For Us!!  I was amazed when I tried forgiving with "Your power".  No diet.  No pain.  Just, a choice. It honestly was the easiest thing I had ever done.  And, Lord....I had suffered with that "They're jerks!  I can't stand them.  Forgive them?  For what?  I AM NOT THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO FORGIVE!!  Didn't You hear me, Lord?  They are jerks!"  Yeah......that's some of my side of the dialog You and I had, Lord!  I'm sure You remember.  I wasn't even sure I meant what I was saying to You.  I just believed that "IF I SAID THE WORDS.....YOU WOULD PROVIDE THE POWER!!  I know You remember the outcome.  And, my relief!!  I literally felt a weight lift off of me.  It was real.  Sooo, Lord...... I just assumed that EVERYBODY would be tickled pink to add this to their list of accomplishments (spiritually speaking).  And, to my amazement.....very few even want to entertain the idea that "they" should forgive.  They don't want it this way. They don't want to forgive.  They want to keep it going  forever, it seems.  Oh Lord.  What will it take?  When will You move?  Will it hurt?  Father, for Your will to be done......and us to walk up to the gate.....and for us to be ushered into Your presence......something has to change.  Excuses will not be an option.
Your way, Lord......and Your will.  I ask in Jesus name......amen.

I'm home now.  I'm sitting on my couch......it is a very comfortable couch.  I am about to write......for the third time......a prayer that will post.  This is the third one.  I, of course, think that You do not want everyone to know my business.  I like to share, Lord.  I like for people to know that even though we have flaws that always seem to plague us ( and those around us)......and even though we pray and believe......and that even though we are still pretty raggedy Christians.......we depend on You to save us. I've needed to write for so long.  It's probably why I have felt a little "set aside" by You.  And, of course, it is always my fault. I truly know that.   After a daughter said to me yesterday as we were driving home to Delaware....."What do You mean, you haven't prayed about it!?"  I began to back peddle a bit.  As I began to think of the reasons why I haven't really spent any time in intercessory prayer about this "move"......I thought, "Jeepers, creepers!  I'm an idiot!"  I said to myself.....Uh, I guess one reason is John and the kids are praying.  He has always made the big decisions on "When it's time to move and  where we will move to."  I felt it was always "His and God's business".  I mostly had to get my heart and mind to agree. As for our children,  I also figured that their prayers would be really sincerely prayed......otherwise we'd be visiting them two or three months out of the year......eating their food, watching their tv, calling on their phone, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.  I figure I'm pretty funny, Lord.  I just crack myself up.  Actually, dear One, I'm a little ashamed she had to snap the reins a bit.  Here I am.  Just published "My Letters to God" and walk around like this big prayer warrior for You......and I haven't prayed about this huge move we are about to make.  Yes.....I have SOS'ed some prayers.....I've asked others to pray......I've dreamed some prayers....but, haven't actually thought about saying....."Lord, I'd like to have a certain kind of house in Timbuktu, USA and I'd like to have this and this and this in it..... and....... surrounding it.  Forgive me, Lord for this unrealistic approach to this seemingly huge dilemma.  Help me to pray the right words.  Words that a man may not understand but YOU do.  The sounds that express what I want.....or think I want......and the needs that have to be met. I need for the "rivers in the desert" mantra.....and the "roadways in the wilderness" to be as plain to John and I as we have ever known before.  We are Your servants.  You chose us.  You have given us more than we could ever dream.  And.....we are blessed to be called Your children.  I am still at Your mercy, Lord.  I depend on You to give us what You deem necessary.  I want to know that  what You have done and where You have placed us is in Your plan.  When I am placing the silverware in the drawer of my "new" kitchen and making the bed for the first night in our "new " home, that You are in control.  You know what the weather will be like.  You will know how far away the closest "Walmart" is.  I believe in You, Lord.  I trust You.  Many times when we were getting ready to make a move, I would find myself singing or quoting the song that my Grandma Candel would have me play for her all the time.  I was just a little kid, nine or ten, I guess. I'd play and she'd sing..... "I'll go where You want me to go, dear Lord......over mountain, or plain, or sea........I'll say what You want me to say, dear Lord.....I'll be what You want me to be."   There it is, Lord.  That.....I think is the most important prayer I could pray.  Before I started writing this prayer today.....I read from Joshua 2:1.  In "MY" version of the scripture, it says......."Now then, you and yours.....get ready to cross the Jordan river into the land I am about to give you." 
Now, in all I have said, asked and given You to think about, Lord.....I do it all in the name of Jesus.....and always, Your will.  Amen.



For those of you who might be interested in purchasing "My Letters to God"  you can access the publishers website:  www.hopefreelancing.com  and click on "store" and it will take you through the buying process.......or go to AMAZON.com and do the same.  Remarkably, when you put the letters "S.Corrine Davis" in or "My Letters to God"......it comes up.  I look at it all the time.  After I bought about 10 copies to send to myself, I finally quit.  (No, I didn"t!) I still cannot believe it.  Thank you so much.

                    

Just a heads-up friends.......This is a long one!                   

Lord.....I wish I could explain how I feel.  I know that You know.  I'd just love to be able to put it into words.  I. I. I.  That's seems to be all I ever talk about.  Do You get annoyed with it?  Jeepers.....I'd like to think that You don't.  Mainly because I can't do this with people.  No one wants to listen as long as I can drone on.....not really.  I do wish, Lord.....at my age, I still wasn't so concerned about how "I" am viewed by others.  Why is that?  Help me, Jesus, to be the example for You that you expected all along that I could be.  And, then.....help me to be contented with that.  
I think of all the years I have written to You with a pen and paper.  I know by the way "other's" react when they hear it.....especially gentlemen.  Even women. (They are a little kinder!)  I remember precisely when I bought a really pretty lavender writing pen.  The tip was fine and the ink was black.....(my favorite) and a lavender and white  composition book.  It was all very feminine and pretty.  The reason I decided to give  it to her, was for her to put her thoughts and/or prayers down on paper to give herself an outlet.
She had just found out her husband of half a century had been unfaithful to her......and the worst part of it was, it  couldn't be shoved under a rug anymore.  It was worthy of prison time.  All of her dreams and hopes for a continued happy life were smashed.  Lord, I remember her first words to me......"Don't cry for me if you hear I have died because there are things that are worse than death."  O dear Jesus......Savior of all of us......why do these horrible events ever have to happen?  Why do Your people have to experience some of the most horrendous experiences one can't even imagine.  I remember reading, "Dorie.  The Girl Nobody Loved" by Dorie Van Stone.  After I read that book, I remember walking into my laundry room, doing the wash, and actually being so disgusted with You.  I said aloud to You, as I rammed clothes into the dryer...."Why in the world didn't You rescue her, Lord?  Why did You allow her to have to live so alone......and in such degradation?
I don't understand.  I hate it for her.  I am sick because You allowed this."  And, on and on I went.....talking to You like You couldn't pound me into the ground with one look.  I remember that You ignored my insolence and answered me pretty quickly.  I didn't like the answer much, but accepted it.  Where it came from, I cannot remember.  But, I  KNEW  IT  WAS  FROM  YOU!!!  No doubts.  Even though I think it is the hardest thing to overcome from both sides of the spectrum.....There has to be SOMEBODY that can show SOMEBODY else how horrible things can and are overcome by belief in You and what YOU can do in a life of someone so terribly abused.  Sometimes mere words in a book will not work....whether they are Your words or not.  People have to see a story that relates to them, personally. Sometimes it clicks for them and then; regrettably, sometimes it doesn't.  I wish, Dear Lord, I had learned all the lessons You have tried to teach me the first time.  I do, though, appreciate the fact that You kept bringing "my issue" back to me therein allowing me the privilege of having peace in my own soul.  I know, I can be stubborn.  And, it seems I always have to have a picture drawn for me.  I guess what amazes me is that You take time to let that happen for me.  I thank You, Lord.....for being aware all the time of how I learn.....and being so gracious in the waiting.  
As I stated, a long while back.....I thought my gift would be received with a sigh of relief.  It was received with.....almost a question mark? and "Why would you give me this?" look.  As far as I know.....she never wrote a word of her saga in that book.
  It was used for the various things a person does in a day.....or needs at the store.  It doesn't matter, Jesus. She had You, and still does.  You understand the cries of a servant......even when I don't understand all of the reasons why or why not!!
Lord.....I know that no one understands like You do.  I believe it.  I believe.  And, Lord, for future intent.....I believe it most of the time.  There are days I don't feel alone.  There are days I feel the enemy is running the show of my life.  Those are the days I will cling to the old rugged cross for dear life.....because, with You, it is.  
'Jesus, lover of my soul....let me to thy bosom fly'.....because that is where I get the most restful sleep.  In  Your name I pray this prayer.  Amen.

This is a day I have hoped for ........well, probably for a little over a  year now.  You know me so well, Lord.  After I finally make a decision......I like to see an end result or a plan to make it so, pretty quickly. Whether it's wallpapering a room.....redecorating an area in our home that I have disliked for a long time, or buying something I've wanted.  I like instant results.  In the day of our computer technologies, the events are loaded and downloaded make things quite often done in hours .....even minutes.  Ordering a meal, being served, eating it and leaving the establishment is often done within one hour.  Even quicker at a fast-food restaurant.  Having to wait for days......being put off.......for various and sundry reasons.....trying to be patient .....is not what I do well. Perhaps, no one really does.  Yet, often we have to fake being calm and serene through it all.  I guess it is the thing You would have me do.  It is a wonderful thing when you make a decision to give us surprises.  Some people enjoy a new child.....or a car they have wanted.....or a letter or phone call giving an answer they  have long prayed for.  For me, Lord......I now am the recipient of a book that has my name on the cover.  It is literally unreal to me that this is a reality.  The pages bare my heart thoughts.  The prayers are from my heart to Yours, Lord.  I am wondering as usual if I have done the right thing.....but, I will leave it with You.  There's been more than one time, I was sure You were doing the leading and the directing.  I found later, after a time, that I wasn't so sure at all.  Lord, all I know is it seemed like it was being orchestrated by You, dear One.  I pray and ask with all sincerity that You would give this book the review that it deserves.  It's all about Your name and Your glory.  It's all about the fact that You, Lord, listen to the cries of our hearts.  You decipher our feelings into words that can be understood to the point of reference that we can understand.  There are so many times I start talking to You.....just throwing words around trying to see how I really am feeling.....and You turn it into a prayer.  I cannot continue (and won't)to try to figure out what it is I want anymore.....or think I need.  I do confess I love knowing what is going to happen.....and what I think I will do about it.  And yet, there is a part of not knowing that I find so exciting.  Lord, I pray that You would continue to be patient when I struggle with this.  I tend to struggle especially when friends and family query me about things I  want to leave with You......and the resultant comments that sometimes come leave me feeling a little prickly.  I know I have given You permission to run the show of my life.  I have confidence that You will do what is best for me and mine.  I guess, too, I have another concern.  Take it and bear it for me.  I am looked at often, as a little juvenile.  Taking my little prayers to You....whining and complaining as I write.  I can't apologize for what I feel is my right to do.  Leaving You to the messes I make and the trouble I can stir up is not fair......but, it is what You do best.  I praise You for that.  I thank You for that.  And.....I sure do love You......knowing that I am Your child.  You are my strong tower.
I ask and speak all in the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.

To order a book or download on Kindle.....
www.hopefreelancing.com    Click on "store"  and it will take you through the process.

AMAZON.COM     Type in "S.Corrine Davis" and it will come up and take you through the process.  or.... "My Letters to God" .