Thank you, dear One......thank you for allowing me to live to see this day.  Onward I go.....yuck!  Into the year that precedes my seventh decade of life.  All I have done is moan about it.  There is not a thing I can do.....and I do not want to go back and do it all again......so, I'm going to shut up and buck up and make this as good a year as it can possibly be, spiritually speaking.  What I want and need is to seek to make my life holy and acceptable to  You.  It sort of seems so presumptuous....even to think I could live "holy and acceptable" to You. And, I guess realistically, it is not possible to do it, unless You are guiding my steps.  I can get so emotionally involved in life issues that require a statement at times.  I hear and see myself, thinking and speaking words of pronouncement when I am not really qualified to do so.  Just answering someones query......giving an opinion.....painting an answer with broad strokes and letting it dry.....perhaps just to peel or flake off.....and making a statement that will forever resound in someones ear....wrong or right.......well, I need to be , uh, more diligent.  Especially if I am going to help You.  I know, Lord.....I keep saying it.  I keep asking for wisdom,  promising to be Your mouthpiece if need be.....and I think I am doing right.....but, you know what Lord (?)....my edicts of a situation and opinions of one's behavior are not necessarily yours.  As a youngster, I learned a verse I claimed as a life verse later on.  "Let the words of my mouth....and the meditation of my heart....be acceptable in Thy sight, my strength and my Redeemer."   I'll never forget it.  Psalm 19:14, is supposed to be what I consider above all......and, I don't.  Not always.   Usually, after I blow my sweet demeanor all to pieces I then realize I should have spent less time talking and more time thinking and praying.  I read another verse the other day.....confirming how I should refer to You at all times.  I remember when I spoke to someone about salvation one time. Remember her?  I was desperate.  Scared.  Worried that I would "mess" the whole thing up.....and send her packing from the "religious nut" (me).  I remember answering only what was asked.  I did not move on.....enlarge......explain......until I was asked.  I did this only because I was fearful I would ruin your plan.  Thank you Lord, that what I encountered then, was, ultimately your plan......at least, I perceived it to be.  Lord.....I want to be your anxious but hesitant, an obedient and ever-present servant.  Watchful.  Pursuant.  Necessary.  Are those good words to describe Your servants?  If they are.....that's what I need to be.  Jesus, use me.  Let me be the calm voice of reason and hope for those I am to carry Your word to.  I realize that I'm the only Jesus some may ever see.  Will I look like You?  Will I sound like You? Only You can determine for me what is to be done.  I choose to live as You would have me to.
In all I pray.....and need pursued.....I ask all in the name of Jesus.  Amen.