Oh my dear Lord……How do I believe?  How do I know You were there to take him?  How can You show me what I want to know?  He left this world last night in his sleep…..never to return. No one  was sitting outside his room waiting…..no one was told he would not be getting up to head  to    work…..no one knew he’d never awaken  to see another day.  

I do wonder , Lord, if any of us would behave any differently if we knew what was ahead of us. Would we re- think a conversation or  tell someone exactly what we thought?  Would we start our day with a prayer on our lips to God that He would prepare our hearts for the day ahead….and anyone we knew might meet a special word or attention from us…..that we could be God’s light to them.  Too often…..I find myself thinking that “It’s all about me!”  I know it’s not Lord, but I feel sorrowful that way too often it “sticks out”  more than it should.

My brother had a servant’s heart.  He was a gentle man.  He was so much like our father.  His features….his spirit…..his laughter….reminded me of my dad   There was nothing that touched his heart more than hearing God’s word being preached.  If you were near him, you would see tears rolling down his face.  He had a heart that   was tender and mindful of what You talking to him about, dear One. There were times when he was very aware we were watching something very private happening to him……and, for a man who kept things and thoughts closed off to anyone, I think he felt embarrassed.  Me?  I tell everyone about my flaws and shortcomings!  Not everyone is a mouth like me!

Lord, my heart is sad.  But, for my dear brother,    I feel You were there when his breathing began to slow.  Was he surprised?  Did he argue with You? I have a feeling that he didn’t. In my mind, I see You entreating him to come to You.  I hear him responding to You after You suggested that it was best He do it this way, by saying…..”I know”….in his slow, easy drawl. I don’t understand…..but, I don’t have to, Lord. 

 Tell me again, Lord.  how will You decide for us who are left? 

There are days when I wake up, Lord, that I wish I would have awakened  in “Glory”.  Those are especially hard days when I miss my love so much.  You, of course are so aware of that heartache…..but, you are quick to enlighten me with special scriptures and a phone call or two from especially appointed people. You bless me all the time. And, I thank You, dear One.

Help us, Lord.  All of us who mourn this special man.  Lowell Carl Candel.  He was, I believe, a man after Your own heart.

In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.