It seems to me, dear One, that without the blood of Your sacrifice to us, all of it is being misrepresented right now in our lives.  I am so disgusted as I listen to rhetoric from TV, with the miscommunication of those in power to the lowly citizen, and the unfairness of it all creeping in to our own personal lives….our precious families.  EVERYBODY  wants to speak “their truth”…..AND they want everyone to hear it….and then abide by it. From what I’ve experienced in the past….yes, they might listen….maybe they’ll let you finish your thought…..but, then they jump in debunking everything you just said.  And then of course all that does is tell you they think your ideas are stupid and if you would just listen…. They have a better fix. You and I both know,  that the fight will go on forever.  It will never be solved unless one defers to the other.  

Our habit of representing “ truth veiled with sarcasm” is not an ideal way to solve a problem and speaks low of the character of a Christian man or woman.  It seems that the enemy is busy taking the wrecking ball machine and aiming it at our families…..and we are letting him.  My hope and prayer is that his plan to take us out in pieces would be smashed by us pleading the blood of Jesus and pulling the plug on his  hope to wreck our loved ones with his lies and  evil tactics. That seems to be the answer for so many instead of a kindly worded explanation in a private conversation.  It does not solve the problem, but, somehow even Christians can end up acting like stinkers.  I don’t think that’s very nice either…..especially to You, Lord. I pledge to You, Lord, that I will try very hard to show Your example of all that you would say and do.  It sounds a little bit “Pollyanna-ish”  but we have to be determined.  The enemy will roll right over us.

Please Lord, give us the strength to plead the blood of Jesus in ridding ourselves of the lies the enemy spews at our vulnerable times.  We cannot survive without that blood.  Nothing is sacred.  Nothing is sweet memories.  Nothing is good.  Help us , Jesus to pray effectively.

A song to You, dear One……

“I love You, Lord…OH, your  mercy never fails me….all my days , I’ve been held in Your hands

From the moment that I wake up…. Until I lay my head….Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

And all my life You have been faithful…..an all my life You have been so, so good…..

With every breath that I am able….I will sing of the goodness of God

I love Your voice….You have led me through the fire, And in darkest night You are close like no other…I’ve known You as a Father…..I've known you as a friend…..And I have lived in the goodness of God

And all my life You have been faithful, Oh and all my life You have been so, so good…..with every breath that I am able…..I will sing of the mercy of God…..

‘Cause Your goodness is running after, its running after me…..with my life laid down I surrendered now…..I give you everything…..your goodness is running after, It’s running after me.”

With His abiding love……His ever present mercies surprising us and surrounding us……how can we possibly give in to what the enemy touts as “living our truth”. …….effectually abandoning our testimony in our network of friends and family…..God help us!  We do not want to fail you!

For all of my many words……thoughts and feelings…..I give them to You, dear One…..to decipher as you will.  In Your name , I pray.  Amen.

Dear One…..I am so filled with words and feelings and desires of things to be done and said.  I never know exactly when to start in my writing. Probably sooner than later. That’s what always happens.  

I really miss him today, Lord.  The one who always said, “I love you, Hon!”  Or “I love you, Corrine💕!”  I always loved the way he said my name! No one else said it that way!  How do I tell you how much I appreciate what you did for me in giving me what I didn’t know I needed.  Thank you for that, Lord.  I think nothing else needs to be said since you did the work.  I’m so grateful for the man You gave to me.  I felt our 56  years were my whole existence……and the five children we shared together. My accomplishment…..and gift. When John disappeared I had to scramble to get my momentum back.  

You also are aware of how I always think I am right. Thank You for showing me that I can still have joy in my heart when I don’t get my way. (How childish does that sound?). Thank You that I still have the joy of playing music and enjoying comments of appreciation.  Every time I’m reminded of how old  I am, I’m grateful  I can still  cook a meal, wash my dishes, and make jewelry for myself.  Decorating my home makes me happy!  Having a job that contributes to this “habit”, is a bit bothersome, but am determined   to find a happy medium.  Determining if an item gives me memories of happiness or contentment helps pair things down a bit. 

After a conversation with a friend not long ago, I found myself a little jarred when I quoted a verse  that I felt was a spiritual answer for a dilemma and then couldn’t back it up! I know the devil delights in it. Us, thinking we are so God-like! Yeah right!  Not too many of us fall for that anymore!  Anyway, isn’t that what Google is for!  Or is that a dirty word? I feel our attempts to calm another’s fears and then not finding “who said it” doesn’t take away the importance of the act. Knowing the context of a verse can stymy me into silence or catapult me into greater awareness.

Lord, I choose this day to be more like You.  I plead the blood of Jesus to blockout the demons that determine to bind me.  I know there are those whom I’ve hurt, who will not forgive me.  I, in the power that you have given me, have done all I can to amend these errors.  Haven’t I.  Helping, or hoping to help….. isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  It does take a bit of courage to cross the lane from “I’m telling you this to help you”….You need to stop doing this” to “As a Christian, your testimony will be a lie” if you do not repent.   As a Pastors wife, a Christian, not withstanding, teacher, writer……I’ve lived to try to lead those I am called to lead, live, rub shoulders with and love….. to a better, stronger walk with God.

I want nothing to keep me from seeing your face someday and hear you say,  Welcome home Corrine!  I have your place all ready!  

I want to say more.  Maybe I will, tomorrow!  I pray all of these words to you hoping the combination will be pleasing toYou in the name of Jesus.  Amen and amen.