Dear One…..I am so filled with words and feelings and desires of things to be done and said.  I never know exactly when to start in my writing. Probably sooner than later. That’s what always happens.  

I really miss him today, Lord.  The one who always said, “I love you, Hon!”  Or “I love you, Corrine💕!”  I always loved the way he said my name! No one else said it that way!  How do I tell you how much I appreciate what you did for me in giving me what I didn’t know I needed.  Thank you for that, Lord.  I think nothing else needs to be said since you did the work.  I’m so grateful for the man You gave to me.  I felt our 56  years were my whole existence……and the five children we shared together. My accomplishment…..and gift. When John disappeared I had to scramble to get my momentum back.  

You also are aware of how I always think I am right. Thank You for showing me that I can still have joy in my heart when I don’t get my way. (How childish does that sound?). Thank You that I still have the joy of playing music and enjoying comments of appreciation.  Every time I’m reminded of how old  I am, I’m grateful  I can still  cook a meal, wash my dishes, and make jewelry for myself.  Decorating my home makes me happy!  Having a job that contributes to this “habit”, is a bit bothersome, but am determined   to find a happy medium.  Determining if an item gives me memories of happiness or contentment helps pair things down a bit. 

After a conversation with a friend not long ago, I found myself a little jarred when I quoted a verse  that I felt was a spiritual answer for a dilemma and then couldn’t back it up! I know the devil delights in it. Us, thinking we are so God-like! Yeah right!  Not too many of us fall for that anymore!  Anyway, isn’t that what Google is for!  Or is that a dirty word? I feel our attempts to calm another’s fears and then not finding “who said it” doesn’t take away the importance of the act. Knowing the context of a verse can stymy me into silence or catapult me into greater awareness.

Lord, I choose this day to be more like You.  I plead the blood of Jesus to blockout the demons that determine to bind me.  I know there are those whom I’ve hurt, who will not forgive me.  I, in the power that you have given me, have done all I can to amend these errors.  Haven’t I.  Helping, or hoping to help….. isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  It does take a bit of courage to cross the lane from “I’m telling you this to help you”….You need to stop doing this” to “As a Christian, your testimony will be a lie” if you do not repent.   As a Pastors wife, a Christian, not withstanding, teacher, writer……I’ve lived to try to lead those I am called to lead, live, rub shoulders with and love….. to a better, stronger walk with God.

I want nothing to keep me from seeing your face someday and hear you say,  Welcome home Corrine!  I have your place all ready!  

I want to say more.  Maybe I will, tomorrow!  I pray all of these words to you hoping the combination will be pleasing toYou in the name of Jesus.  Amen and amen.