To You, Oh Lord, my Lord……Once more I come into Your presence to thank you for watching over me.

Each of my children and their respective families all have their own mountains to climb…..and valleys to go through.  I know the valley road is a difficult one to manage with any air of dignity. As You were beaten and humiliated on Your path to the cross…..I doubt that you were thinking about being dignified.  

I think I might need to admit and amend that flaw in my life. Change me, Oh dear One. Only You can, I believe.  I’m so sorry that it’s taken me 80 years to see this. When I think about the time my mother took me out of church and spanked me on the front steps right outside that door….I remember looking up and seeing a man on his front porch across the street watching…..I was thinking about looking “dignified” when it was happening. ( Not that it was hurting me. ) I can only guess I was three or four years old. It is as vivid to me right now as it was then.

Lord, it was not my intent to talk to You about this.  My mind goes to mush sometimes when I’m talking to You.  There’s so much I want to complain about.  How’s that for undignified 🤓?

I do though want to thank You for watching over me through the holidays.  My oldest granddaughter asked me yesterday!  Everything changes. Once life makes our decisions for us…..what can we do.  Going through that beloved holiday (Christmas) without some of our loved ones……our focus has to become the REASON for the season. And, of course that would be You coming to earth as a babe for us to have a way to see You as our only hope to escape the evil one and his power to enslave us. As I thought about how sad that so much grief changes us and our demeanor…..it is only the resolve to choose JOY when no one remembers why you look so bereft…..Joy has a way of sneaking in the crevices of your face and even surprising you. Lord, we have to remain thankful for the circumstances we are in…..even when You don’t share with us “the why” of it all. I’m learning to lean on You as my only respite . I thank You for always being there for me.

I told a friend the other day at work when she asked how I was……that I felt pretty good.  I said, as You remember, Lord……I just told the Lord all of my worries and needs.  I was talking pretty fast.  It took me 10 minutes to get here, so don’t bother Him for awhile.  He’s busy tending to all my requests. We laughed at my little joke.  So, yes….I do feel pretty good.  And, Lord…. I honestly did.  I had no pen in my hand a piece of paper to scribble on.  I was driving.  It’s been awhile since I just called out to You…..out loud like that.  As I watched my mother cope with no way to write and or communicate for nearly 5 years…..there were times when my own heart worried about not having the capability of writing You my heart thoughts. 

Lord, it seems I don’t want to end my thoughts to You. I have to, for the shot -in-the-eye appointment. Thank You dear One for the fact that for this day and time in my life You have provided a temporary cure for Macular Degeneration. Not too long ago, I would have had to worry about total blindness.  I am forever grateful.

I thank You, Father, for Your goodness to me. I am forever grateful. I pray with that in mind.  All in the name of Jesus.  Amen.