Sometimes I wonder, Lord, if doing this blog is doing a disservice to You.  Putting my prayers on "paper" or a computer screen is perhaps showing a side to me no one really understands.......or prompts replies as to how I dare be so bold to write "that" to You.  How dare I talk to the King of Glory in such an irreverent way?  I speak as I would to One who loves me as no one else could ever......One who sees the flaws and failures as a step to loving You more than I believed I ever could.  These letters are the cries of a heavy and forlorn heart at times.  Other times, they are filled with complaints and whining that no one else would care to listen to.  But.....Lord.....sometimes I find I don't write enough.  This particular letter is the only one I have written this week.  I need to re-navigate my thoughts.  And, I will, dear One.  Each day as I read from Your Word, I preface the words with......."Help me understand!.......Show me how to live.......What do I need to change?  Give me Your power, and Your empathy."  In the times when sorrow overwhelms.....  Lord, when our hearts are depleted, You can come in Your quiet presence and fill us with joy unspeakable......glory that is unexplainable ......and peace, that passes all understanding.  It is amazing to me how You can supply what we need, when we need it. 
You know there are days when I look at the scripture lesson......or a devotional that I would ordinarily love......and I just close the book.  Why?  Because I'm weak or lax? Tired of trying and failing? Spiritually dragging?  Maybe I am.  Maybe I am just worn out.  Maybe I just need a little more sleep.  But, don't worry, Lord....I think You know, above all, that I am humanly inept at times.  I pray that You would preside over my being, in the moments I wander off.   I plead the blood of the Lamb that You would help me double bolt the back door of my heart.  I don't need satan pushing his way in when I am having a weak moment.  He is ever-so fervent in watching us letting down our guard.  Lord, give me the ammunition for battle that I will be needing, just when I need to fight!  I'd love to store it up......but, You and I both know I'd probably put it somewhere , and then, never be able to find it when I need it!  (Story of my life!) 
Jesus, use me.  Fill me.  Try me.....and find any thing that makes You sad.  Show me, Lord......so I can repair it.....quickly. 
"There is a Fountain.....Who is the King......Victorious Warrior.....and Lord, of everything.......My Rock, My Shelter, My very own......Blessed Redeemer, Who reigns upon the THRONE."  The song, Lord, "Who Can Satisfy My Soul"......is such a blessing.   Because You, Lord......are all of that and more.  All I need I find in You.
Thank You, Father.  In Jesus Name......Amen.

Thank you, Father.  Thank you for giving us a plan to follow.  Thank you for giving us a wonderful example to express Your love to us.  After seeing the depiction of Your words to us from the presentation of "The Bible",  I am stunned at the realization of how deeply You love us.  Seeing the suffering.....and  the sacrifice  made is not for the faint of heart.  Where in the world did the idea that being a Christian is for weaklings?  I am amazed at the tenacity of the men and women who were determined to follow You and spread the gospel as they understood it to all who would listen. 
Lord, as I watched so many being terrorized.....and how lost they must have felt when Jesus left their presence.....I don't know if I would have made You proud at all.  The "under-the-bed and cover my head" position is the one that seems closer to my reaction.  Thank You for the impact You had on Paul.  He was changed by his encounter with You.  It must have been powerful to see the difference. 
Lord, as our choir presented the cantata yesterday, I praise You for making the words and the music come to life.  After so many ill - sounding practices...... there were so many of us touched by Your presence as we sang.  Knowing You take us just as we are.....broken, wounded, empty, lost.......each one of us You mend, and heal, fill and find.  No one can does that job like You do.  No one.
Lord,  empower me to be a better disciple for You.  One that does not draw away from  the confrontations with those who do not believe in You.....but, I ask for the patience and kind heart that never gives up and always believes there is hope while there is life. 
Thank You for the excitement that comes from being Your child......and seeing how a life can be changed.  From dark to light......it is amazing how You can love us into being all You planned for us to be. 
Your grace is enough.  Even when I doubt.....and falter.  I know my Redeemer lives.....in me and through me.
In Jesus name I pray.  Amen.

Good morning, dear One.   Thank you for the privilege of sleep.  I feel as if I slept well.  I will see for sure now....after an hour or two goes by......I may have to take a nap!  I woke up thinking about how I finally understood something.  It came out of my mouth while I was teaching Sunday School yesterday.  I appreciate the fact that even though my knowledge of the scriptures is limited, You are the actual teacher.  You helped me discover that long ago when I was given the job of teaching a teen class.  I truly wanted to bolt and run.  But, I remember a few things I learned even then as we began our ministry, from teaching that class.  I remember even delving into the Revelations a bit.  You give wisdom, Lord.  It is a truly wonderful thing to ask You for it.....and to receive it.  I love the verse I felt you gave me to exclamate (I think this is a new word for me) it.  I wrote it down a long time ago when I found it in Evelyn Christianson's book, "Lord, Change Me!".   It just gave me such relief to see that You understand the entirety of how I think, and learn.  For me, I feel unworthy to teach anything, yet, with Your leadership, I can teach what I know.....what is real to me.....and, what I have experienced from my interaction with You.  Interaction.  A funny thing....isn't it, Lord?
I know You are not visible right now....but, You might as well be.  I do feel so often that You are quite nearby.  Anyway, I keep getting off track......the verse that I can't seem to find the reference to right now, is telling me that I don't need to worry about how much or how little You expect me to change in my areas of growth in my relation-ship with You.  I remember when I first began my mission of "Lord, Change Me!", I wearied of having so many places I needed to work on.....when, miraculously, that particular verse was thrown into the text of the book.  So, I became encouraged that You would teach me exactly like that.   It says basically, ".......line upon line.....a little here, a little there,,,,(in some versions, it said, "precept upon precept").  I remember at the time....(My word, Lord.....I had to have been only 26 or so , Lord).....I was amazed that You knew even then, I might feel overwhelmed or discouraged. 
When I was explaining about "wisdom" yesterday in class, and said, "God will give us the wisdom we need....at the time.  Just enough.  And, when He chooses to give more.....then, we can move to that.  Stopping.  Asking.  Waiting.  I was encouraged to be wiser in my devotional time.  I see that to remember what "I need to know", I don't have to re-write everything word for word.  You will give me what I need....when I need it.   "A little here.....a little there".  This morning when I associated that verse with what I taught yesterday,  I marvelled at how You touch me Lord, with Your kindness.  You didn't have to.  One day, I may have "got it".  But, I have said it before and I say it again.  You love us.  You are concerned about what concerns us.  Amazing love.  How can it be?  That Thou, my God, would die for me.  So....continue, dear One.....continue to teach me as long as I am breathing.  Give me what I need for today.  No more.  No less.  And, I will be giving You the praise........because, You alone, are worthy of it.
For all of this....spoken and unspoken.....it's all in the name of Jesus.  Amen.
Jesus.....Savior of the world.....and friend to me,  thank You.  I'm forever grateful.
For all I speak of.....even, think of....and ask for......it's all in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Oh, and Lord,,,,,it's in  Isaiah  28:10.  "For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little......".  Thank You, dear One.

Thank You, dear One, for the promises of Your word to us.  For the promise of springtime.  For the promise of eternal life with You.  For the forgiveness of sins that You provide us.  And, for taking the time, Lord, to address the cries of my own spirit.  Often I complain.....to You, or one of my kids about my "plight".  And, really Lord, I know that no one person can help me.  You have to address the things that seem to gnaw at me......the things that cause me to feel uncomfortable or discontented.  I don't like feeling that way.  It's almost like I can feel a storm coming.....a bad one.....and I am fearful that I might have to run to the basement for protection in case the house would blow down.  That's a good way to describe my anxiousness sometimes.  I have to secure things with You before my house blows down.  I am grateful that You are the One that does run things in my life.  I try.  I do the best I can, but, I can never quite get it done.  There is always something else to handle.  Maybe......(?).......maybe, it's just the way life is.  For the worries that concern me and the endless projects to be started and/or finished......I place them at the foot of the cross.  I would like to think that since the scriptures tell us we shouldn't  worry about tomorrow,  I could do just that...but, regrettably, I am too human to do that.  I'd like to handle it, Lord......but, it's so much easier to give it to You.  You know exactly how I think.....You know how stubborn I can be.....(like a dog not letting go of a bone).....and I guess You already know how right I always think I am......well, I can take it from You!!  And, I promise.....I will.
I find that when I have exhausted all my resources, I am content to let You show me Your way.  I am ashamed to say it.  When I look at it in black and white, I am ashamed.  My way.....shouldn't be the first solution I look for.  I suppose that it's my need to see a quick solution....and that isn't how You work.  After a time,  maybe when we are sitting alone talking one day in heaven, You can explain to me why You never lost patience with me.  I am grateful, Lord.....for the devotional You sent my way today, courtesy of Joni Eareckson Tada.  As she wrote these words....."I want to learn to be content.  I want internal quietness of my heart, supernaturally given, that gladly submits to You, God, in all circumstances.  Today, I begin seeking this treasure in You"..........I saw that whether it is a broken neck or a broken heart......You know best how to help us get through the joys and sadness's of our lives.  Laying myself and my issues at the foot of the cross is the place I should set up a tent and begin living my life.......because it seems to be where I am most of the time.  It is not with trepidation that I move on from here.  Honestly, Lord........and I mean this......I really believe that You have my best interest at heart.  That, my concerns......are Your concerns.  (That is hard to believe when there is so much more of importance for You to handle.)  But, I will believe it, just because You said to.  So then, once again,  I give it all to You.
Satan would have me believe otherwise.  That You don't care.  That You are too busy.  That I am not worth all the hassle.  I know his lies and deceit have always caused You so much trouble.  I will defend You, Lord.  I will refute the lies he tells me.  I will plead the blood of Jesus.  I will sing Your name throughout my day, because .....You are my King, Jesus.  You forgave me.  You love me.  And, one day I will see Your face.  Praise the Lord. 
I pray today in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

You know, Lord.....I've about decided I have got to write this prayer blog more than once a week.  I have too much stored up.  I have to get it out.  I need for You to hear all my complaints.  I need for You to stop me in my tracks when I go off on an unnecessary tangent.  Those are time wasters.  Give me the wisdom to prioritize my concerns.  Help me address the issues that steal my time.  The constraints on my day to day are often overwhelming.  I need Your intervention.  I find that my need to spend time with You is superseding much I need to concern myself.  Isn't it odd Lord that the older I get, the more I notice this.  The kids are gone, so the wash isn't as big....they aren't here to leave their little messes all over......my house stays cleaner, longer.......so why don't I have enough time for You?  Uh.....I think that making sure I am taking it, is what.  Not allowing it to be swallowed up in the daily concerns.  Satan has a way of making every legitimate job to be done,  a way to keep me saddled with "duties" instead of letting me spend the important issues of devoting my time to You.  Making sure my commitment to You is firm and secure is my goal, Lord.  I would love for You to continue to make me unseemly uncomfortable  when I am not doing my part.  I find that the time I set aside to write my prayer blog......there is something else I really need to do.  I find that when it is time to write, my slate is blank.  It's a good thing You don't pay me to do this.  The relief I feel when I finish writing to You is "weight-lifting".  You are gracious to me, Lord.  I am grateful for the honor of letting my heart thoughts to Your charge and expecting You to concern Yourself with what bothers me.....alarms me......hurts me......and is calming to me.  I have found, Lord, that You come to us in times when we are at our wits end and we just aren't aware of it.  And, dear One......the times when You choose to be silent, I will try harder to know that You are waiting for me to do what You have taught me in the past.  To lean on You.....to trust in You....to not think I have all the answers....to acknowledge You in all my understanding of any given situation..... and believe that You will lead me......eventually......into all of Your truth.  It's hard to do, especially when I am tired of dealing with people.  I want to disappear sometimes.  But, I will continue to trust in Your management of my life.....hoping I am living up to Your expectation of me.
A few days ago, the "Pop-Pop" of a young lady in our church, passed away.  She wrote a few lines on "facebook" about him.  My heart was touched, Lord.  She gave any of us that read it a windowpane view of how she loved him and what he meant to her.  Lord,  I told her that I was proud of how she spoke of him and thought to myself that each one of us that call You Lord, want our children and their children, to view us as Your servants....and to be an encouragement to others as  You would lead us to.  Besides the promise of being with You in Heaven one day......isn't that a good goal to have?  You have promised us so much.  I think the promise of "peace that passes all understanding" is what I appreciate most.....of course the unfailing love You provide, not withstanding, is above all.  God of all......thank You for the provision in Your word for all we need.  I will always praise You. 
In all I express to You.....I speak all of it,  in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

You know, Lord.....I like to think I have my act together.  After all of these years, I would think that when it comes to the mediocre incidentals of my responsibilities, I could manage them all.  Why can't I get a birthday card to someone on time?  Lord, what in the world is wrong with me.  I have always had this trouble.  The "on time" part.  I think I really need to change this.  It annoys me.  I always make excuses.  I disgust myself and have no one to blame.  How do I change this?  By the time I conquer this, I think I'll  have one foot in the grave if You don't help me.  Lord, teach me how to think.   Give me a new way to look at the responsibilities You need for me to fulfill.  So often, I think I have more time than I really do......I procrastinate......I say things like, "I work better under pressure"......and it all basically sends the same message.  "I love you and appreciate you and wish you a great birthday or whatever......problem is, I can't take the time to sit down and make the actual effort to take care of this right now."  Why?   Because I have to ........uh,  what?  Lord.....it seems that when I get one thing nailed down, something else comes up to the surface.  There always is something for me to do.....or a place I should go.....or a project I should start or finish.  Is that what keeps a person from withering on the vine?  Or, is it grounds for a breakdown?  I hate disappointing people.  I like to think, that by having my ducks in a row, I am doing all you want me to.  When I fail to do something.....it's embarrassing to be reminded of it after a gracious amount of time has expired.  And, what can I say?  Excuses are a dime a dozen.  Everybody uses them Lord...and I try to be creative in what I say.....but the bottom line is......I would appreciate a kick in the pants.  I would like for You to give me and show me the tools for making a few changes.  It would make me  a  happier disciple.   Hopefully I will not be guilty of sending a birthday card a month late anymore.....or worse.  The areas of my life that I wish I could change, are areas I can do for the most part.  It is the reformation part that holds me back.  And, I feel foolish, talking about such a failure.  Lord, I would guess that if You can't depend on me to care for and nurture those to whom I have responsibility for.....what good am I to You?
You can't trust me.   I plan to remedy this, Lord.  I need for You to know my heart is sincere.  I felt one time that You spoke to my heart when You needed me to assist  in being attentive to Mom.  I remember specifically a verse that gave me comfort and peace in such a difficult time.  Days melted into oblivion.....I was suffocating from the lack of little hope.  The scripture from Isaiah 41: 9 and 10, told me that You chose me....that I am Your servant.....You have not rejected me......and that I shouldn't be afraid because You are with me......not to be discouraged because You will strengthen me and help me.  What in the world else do You need to do for me?  I believed those promises at such a difficult time in my life......and now, dear One.....I will lean on them again and claim them, once again, to fix what I feel is broken. 
I believe in You for strength and a new resolve to change what I know I can.  Lord, thank You for the privilege of prayer.  And, for the allowances and the forgiveness of sins.  You are a gracious Savior.  Thank You, Lord.  I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Oh, Lord......I am so thankful that I can depend on You to hear the cries of our hearts.  I am so thankful that You know how we need to connect with You...in and out of season.  Lord...a few days ago.... I wanted to write out loud and tell You that someone we love so much, is on his way to You.  Of course, I knew.....I didn't have to warn You.  You already knew it.   But, I could tell in our light conversation, it would more than likely be our last.  We shared a laugh here and there, but the context of the visit was.....how very grateful we were (my husband and I) to have been included in their list of friends and how very special they were to us. A kiss goodbye and a final look.....and I knew it was probably the last......here on earth.  There have been a few times when You have allowed me the privilege to be in the presence of those to have finished their course here on earth and have begun the journey to be with You.  I remember so well when I was attending to a very special friend in the night hours.....and how she raised up a bit once and said, "Take me."  I rushed to her side and assured her I would take her anywhere she wanted to go.  Of course, Lord.....I was assuming it was a request to visit the bathroom......and then, realized......she was calling out to the white robes she was seeing in the distance.
Lord, to be that close to one who is on the threshhold of Heaven, to me, is an honor.....and a blessing.  I almost feel guilty now because of calling their attention back to me with such incidental statements or inane questions.  Nothing is as important anymore, as making it inside the gate.  It seems that it is  too late for the "I love you's" and "Forgive me!" statements then.  Anyway, Lord......to know and truly see that peace of seeing one enter Your presence, is a gift.  Dear One.....thank You for that privilege. 
Thank You for the peace that comes with giving our sin and burdens over to You and believing that You give us such rest in knowing You remember "all of it" no more.  The impossibility of that is not understandable.....not to my mind, anyway.  It is just something I accept and cherish because You promised it.  To all of us, Lord.......who call You "Lord"......You have given this wonderful privilege to have peace in the last hours of  life.  Some may consider it a storm......or a great thing to be feared.....but to enter into Your presence with a sense that we have fought a great fight and won over the power of the evil one.....is such an awesomely wonderful sense of peace .....that does defy any understanding of the human mind.  You provide us such wonderful gifts.
Lord Jesus....."Take my life and let it be....consecrated Lord, to Thee.  Take my moments and my days....Let them flow in ceaseless praise.....Let them flow in ceaseless praise."  And so much more......Lord, to be the vessels of and for Your use, I pray to be filled. ( And, yes.....I know.....there are days I am sick and tired of being used, emptied, re-filled and emptied again......yes, I know....I do complain alot!)  Just ignore my complaining and keep piling it on.  I do want to fulfil any plan You have for me.....all the time. 
And, for all of this.....I thank You and I pray in the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.