A Prayer for Madison

Lord......One of Your little ones has come to the point in her life when she walks across the platform of a school gym......and receives a diploma for her mastery of a High School education come to fruition.  She is at the top of her class.  She is headed to a prestigious college for the duration to study for her selected profession. Lord, she'll be stepping into the arena of new and exciting ideas, plans, and other's expectations.  She will see and hear the inner thoughts of the other students who have come to the same place.....perhaps, and most likely,  already disenchanted with the world and their own expectations.  Lord, I ask that as my sweet Madison enters into the unknown....she will hold to the philosophy that she has been born to.  The inner work of grace that an individual experiences when their life has been given to You, dear One.  Being at the beginning of this new adventure for her is perhaps, scarier for us (as we watch her go) than for her.  No one knows what will happen next.  The goals can be set and determination to reach that place can happen.....or something entirely out of the blue, can turn us in another direction.  My prayer for this granddaughter of mine.....(mine and her Pappy's) is that You would guide her in the plan YOU have for her.  To be successful is admirable.  To be successful in the endeavors You plan for us as Your children, supersede any other.  I ask, Lord, that the ultimate goal for her would be to enjoy her days as a student....planning her future.  That You would protect.....in every sense her heart and mind against the foils of the enemy.  I ask that You would give her wisdom in knowing that the armour of protection will protect her.  The helmet of salvation, the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God......the breastplate of righteousness,  and shoes prepared with the gospel of peace.  All of these, Lord, sometimes seem silly and child like.  Thinking about it as an adult though, makes me feel that understanding the issues that You knew would  affect us and even, plague us, are impossible to ignore.  The enemy is watching and waiting.  Protect our girl.  Keep her strong in You. We count on You going with her.
Our hope and our joy is watching our children grow and glow in You.  Now, we watch another grandchild find her way.  She has made us proud .  We love and adore her.  Her parents stand back in unbelief at the beauty she has become.....both inside and out.  And.....Lord, we give you praise and adoration for the wonderful gifts You allow us to have.  We bless You and thank You for our gifts.  And, we ask all of this in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Most of the time, Lord.....I open my "out-loud" prayer like this. I have followed the rules in the past......on "How to Pray".  But, Lord,  I like to just pick up where I left off.  I like to just keep adding to the saga which happens to be my life.  One where I have given You access to every nook and cranny.  Full disclosure.  Nothing is hidden from You.  You have every key to all the rooms of my house!  Yes.  There are things I have confided in You.  I don't intend on ever  being disrespectful in any way.  The cleansing of my heart required a full and complete work.  Something "Stanley Steemer" can't do. And, Father.....I am fully aware that You are a powerful God and able to do anything You desire.  Lord, You are amazing.  And, gracious to me.  I can never show my thankfulness enough.  I am blessed beyond any measure, I could have asked.  Loved.  Even honored.  I can hardly believe it.  I wish I felt like I was doing You justice by being Your child.  Of course You know  I feel so inept at times.
Trying to honor You with my words often ends badly.  The enemy would never have me honor You, Father.  And, sometimes after I have tried to say what is in my heart, I  wish I hadn't tried.  I think I need to stick to writing.....only because, You know exactly what I am trying to say.  Several times yesterday in the worship time I felt the need to speak.....and,  did.  But, I wonder, Lord.... does anyone hear?  As I listened to the soloist  yesterday, I knew the song was special.  "I'm so tired of being stirred....but, never changed"......was a line that stood out to me.  I do feel Lord....we all have those times......when we are stirred.   It is pretty much like  the  conviction that comes upon us.....but,  if we do not make a concerted effort to change (what we are stirred about).....You can do nothing for us.  We have to ......(i.e.) I have to......make it happen.  You do the work.  It's not hard.  It  just takes a time of actual commitment to allow You to do the work.  Sometimes I think You have made it entirely too easy to live for You, Lord.  I do appreciate how You love me, dear One.  
I will live the way You want me to live.  I will.  I will do what You ask me to do.  I will.  (I have to admit, this is harder.)  I will also say what You need for me to say.  I will.  And.....I will be quiet as long as You help me.  Just  have duck tape handy.  You really have to help me make this a reality.  I think it's better that way.
Give me Your grace....and Your strength today.  I need Your touch on my life today.  I pray always, Lord....in the name of Jesus.  Amen. 

I wish.....just once.....I could write without interruption.  I used to think it was  because I was such a "busy bee".....but, it isn't.  I started my day, Lord.  I read and re-read some of my devotional pieces.....even, wrote some down for clearer thoughts.  I played a few games.....and then thought, well.....it's time to prepare the bedrooms for the kids.  (Keep them safe while they drive and fly for the weekend wedding that is happening, please Lord?)  And, then on my quest to prepare for that.....I'm drawn back to the computer for a talk with You.  It's okay, Lord.  You don't have to feel bad for keeping me away from my work!!!  I digress.  Anyway, I settle down to write....setting up the lettering and large print for those of us that need it.....and I hear the chicken I put on the stove to cook, boiling over.  (I thought the wooden spoon over the top of the pot would keep that from happening.)  Oh, well its a double boiler....I guess that doesn't count.  Lord, I spend five minutes cleaning up the mess......and, grit my teeth.  Of course I blame the delay on the evil one.  He knows its hard for me to concentrate on my writing.....he knows it doesn't take much to distract me.....and he also knows, I keep deliberating whether or not.......ENOUGH!  I was going to go over the same old ground.  Sorry.   Please Jesus, help me get this out.  You know I need to talk to You.  It makes everything easier to take..... when I can do that.  Talking has always been hard for me......and once I started trying, I haven't had all that much peace about it.  All last week, I could not get heads or tails out of any of my devotionals. This week.....I have been blasted with devotionals and  verses of scripture about listening.  I've always been a pretty good one.....listener, that is.  And, I always enjoyed asking the questions to allow that to happen.  All you have to do is look at the person so they know you are listening.....and nod occasionally.  I guess the reason I started thinking I should start talking more is because I found myself nodding at things I didn't agree with or like.  Now, I occasionally find myself preparing a statement WHILE someone is speaking.....so, I can make my point too.  Lord, I don't like me.  I think You need to change this for me.  I want to be useful to You.  I want to be Your instrument to change the hearts of people if I can do so.  And, I think to do that.....You must find me worthy of trust.  My ideas are  the really Your ideas..... the ones that YOU give me.....to my language of understanding.  They are the only ones I can count on being right....and gracious.....and level headed.  You are the Redeemer, I am not.  You are the risen Lord.  I only serve You.
I would venture to say.....Thank You, dear One.  "I   EXALT  THEE.   THEE.  I  EXALT   THEE.  I   EXALT   THEE ...... O,  LORD."
Now, I thank You for checking me.  Out of the mouth comes what is in the heart......is that a scripture, Lord?  I think it sort-of  is written in Your word.  And, when I chew on things I don't like...or agree with.....Well, Lord.....I don't think You are happy with the result.  "CHANGE   MY  HEART, O,  GOD......MAKE  IT  EVER  TRUE........CHANGE  MY HEART, O GOD.......HELP  ME BE LIKE  YOU."
I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

I am wondering, Lord.....could You light a fire underneath me?  I need to write more.....I need to express myself to You more.....I get tired of talking and no one really hears what I say.  You know that I have trouble getting to "my point" pretty often.....and I'm very aware I'm taking too long.....etc., etc.....and,  I always feel like I have to give the "back story".....and by the time I do that, I have practically forgotten the point of the whole thing.  Lord.....I am thankful that since You already know the "back story", I am a little more at ease with You.  Thank You, dear One, for that.  I was reminded this morning as I read another devotional from "Joni" of the verses You gave to me at a time when I was at the end of my rope.  Oh, Lord.  You saved me that day....and the days after.  I could not see any end to my plight.  My family had gone home.  My brothers had to get back to work......and, "since I didn't have a 'job'.....I had to stay!"  My mother had suffered a catastrophic event.  I thought  I was a pathetic choice, Lord.  All I could think about was me.....when my mother was in the most precarious position in her life.  Completely paralyzed from her shoulders down.....unable to speak aloud......move, or breathe on her own.  Yes, I am ashamed to admit it.....I was thinking about me. Not right away of course.  I give myself a little credit.....but, as time wore on.....days, weeks, months......ah, yes......the "selfish" part of me took over.   It was awhile until You could get my attention.  I was so busy "attending" to and "listening" to the needs of my mom....grieving for her plight.....wondering if I could ever go back to my family.....making huge decisions that would mean life or death for her with the specialists who were trying to keep her alive.  I was overwhelmed, to say the least.  I depended on the prayers of others.  All I could manage were the ones that required the fewest words.  "Help".  "Show me, Lord".  I prayed those in every other breath.  I was tired and tried.  I couldn't breathe.  I was begging for someone to save me, silently.  And, then, finally You spoke to me through the scripture.  I'll never forget it.  Well, actually, sometimes.....I do.  But, You reminded me this morning again!  "You are my servant.....I have chosen you.....I have not rejected you.....I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  From Isaiah 43..... I could finally breathe.....I could not believe what I had read.  I wrote it down and stuck it in my purse, Lord.....remember?  I told everyone that came in that day, unabashedly, that God had given me that verse....and that I thought it was for my mother too.  I remember looking at her and quoting the verse to her.  I realized that in her mind and heart, she just might be thinking....."What in the world did I do to end up in this mess?"  I wanted her to know that YOU hadn't rejected her; or that You were punishing her.  I wanted her to know that You had chosen her  and me too.....to show Your power and grace to all who were looking on.  Lord, after all of these years, I still believe it.  I'm so glad You reminded me again.
Knowing that the next phone call could change our lives forever should urge anyone to stay close to Jesus....always.  We always seem to find something else to do.  I'm so grateful, Lord, for Your power to move the mountains that block our view.  I pray for Your sustaining power to give me peace.  
I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen and amen.

So.....Lord of heaven....Savior of the world......I woke up hearing  "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."  I thought to myself....."Good grief!  It's not scripture......it's a song! "  I imagine there is something close to that in the scripture.  It seems that even though the secular world tries to blot You out of their comings and goings.....You continue to pop up.  I am appalled anymore at the nonsense we hear all the time.  The constant flow of talk of "God" and how any mention of His name is berated and the influence of prayer to this "God" is loathed.  "I  KNOW  WHOM  I HAVE  BELIEVED  AND  AM  PERSUADED  THAT  HE  IS ABLE....TO  KEEP  THAT  WHICH  I'VE  COMMITTED ......UNTO  HIM  AGAINST  THAT  DAY". When I am not even aware that I am quoting hymns or Your Word, Lord......I expect that You are standing behind it.  I am thankful for it.  For the experiences of other people, christian or not, I pause to speak ill of them.  For all intents and purposes.....I have.  Sometimes as I read Your divine words.....I don't understand what I am reading.  According to Peter, scriptures  do have to be sifted as sand......some words await a brighter hope,  a deeper understanding, and a level of thinking that I heretofore have not experienced.  Lord of all....I will believe that You are my guide as I try to get through the stuff of life.  I can only teach what I believe to be true, according to Your word and my own understanding.  I grow spiritually when my understanding of Your word co-insides with my personal experience.  It draws me near to You, when I realize that You, dear One.....understand the thoughts in my heart and mind.  As I endeavor to listen and have any advice for someone who needs Your words illustrated.....I pray and lean on You for that divine interpretation.  I contend that if I pray and believe....You will provide the understanding I need to have.  So many of Your children think they are so much smarter than I am......and love to flaunt it.  It makes me feel weak and a little stupid.  I will keep my level of understanding.....in Your hands.  When I have sufficiently learned what I need to from Your perspective....then, Lord.....and only then, will I move onto a higher plane......or is it going to be downhill from here!?  I'm getting to the four-score and ten pretty quickly.  I guess that's Your business too, Lord.  Just remember, Lord.....I asked long ago, that I will be a sweet testimony for You....when I am old.  Tell me again.....What is old?  Blessings on You, Jesus.  I am thankful for Your sacrifice for me.  Amen and amen......in Your name I speak......and ask all I do.

Lord, as I write You from time to time on this blog site.....I do wonder if You get weary from all the day to day stuff I write about.  I , of course, think You get weary just from my level of understanding of scriptures and what they truly mean.  I falter when I think that I should be a "little wiser" at this point in my Christian walk.....wiser in Your Word, that is......and that makes me hesitate consistently to back up, re-think what I am writing, and perhaps even, not write You at all.  I hate to think that as others read my prayers, I'm perceived as weak......or pathetic......not even rowing with both oars!  Often, Lord....I know I talk to You about this.....and think I have it settled......and then, it comes back again, like the "whack a mole" theory.  Lord, the bottom line is that I have always had this "pleaser" mentality.  Not so much for everyone else (Yeah, right....eh, Lord?) but, for You, dear One.  Yes, I want You to be pleased with my comings and goings, my words and my attitude.  I am realistic enough to know that when I get irked and respond in an unkind or hateful manner.......You tolerate my outbursts.....but You are not pleased.  Lord, I'm not sure what I even mean here.  You are continuing with the molding process, I assume.....and, that makes me feel that You are in charge.  When someone asks my opinion....I immediately go into SOS mode believing that my words will be guided by You.  You will be doing the talking. 
When I look at the prayers I send Your way, Lord....I really do wonder if You get tired of the same requests, day in, and day out.  I do wonder if You are thinking...."Please, not this again?  Can't You
listen?  Don't You get it.....?  I do get sick of this.  I love you, Corrine but You get on my last nerve! "  I am bound by a scripture I remember from James 1:5  "To any of you that lack wisdom.....ask God....who giveth to all liberally (and never scolds you for asking) and it shall be given him."  It does help me.....but, that fear of "asking again" comes back.  Lord, I am here to exclaim that it really is too bad that others may feel I am weak.....or needy.....that I have no confidence in my own decisions.....I will avail myself of Your wisdom in every bit and piece You will give me.  One day it will not matter what others think.  "The Other's"......being those who remain nameless, yet feel they are qualified to run everyone else's life......or worse yet, tell You how You should think or live or speak.  
Hmmmm.....Lord, I'm not even sure why I said all that.  Perhaps it's coming my way.....and You're helping me head it off.  I will go look for some of that armor I should be wearing.  Here I go, looking on the floor of the closet for that breastplate of righteousness I should be wearing today.  Oh.....for pete's sake, there's that other shoulder pad I was looking for.  Lord,  help me to remember that the armor described in Ephesians 6, is for me to wear, not You.  I often skip into the day, not fully ready for battle.   I know the enemy will use any misstep to accomplish his goal.
Lord, I'd like to make sure.....he doesn't accomplish that goal....to ruin me.  Help me Jesus, to never forget what his end result is.....past all of the busy work of my life.
Your will, Your way, always....in my heart.  In the name of Jesus, I pray.  Amen and amen.

Lord, I find myself continually grateful that I can move and breathe, live and laugh.  I moan to You consistently that I'm tired, or sad or anxious or disgusted.....and probably will always and forever continue to do so...... but today, I thank You that I am  loved and honored.  It is a blessing to be asked to babysit for my children's children.  As I continually wipe faces, clean behinds, pick up toys, and the usual eagle eye on the lookout.....I think about Sarah having a child at 90 years.  Lord, please tell me she had handmaidens helping her.  I understand what having children is about.  You allowed me to birth five of them.....and raise them.  It is constant watchfulness.  I remember taking the children to the neighbor's swimming pool and counting heads at five minute intervals.  One, two, three.....where's three....there!  Four, five.  Whew! One, two, three, four.......okay, there's five!  Constant.  Mothering.  Loving. Disciplining.  Speaking.  Yelling?  (Who, me?) It always was something I knew I could have never done, if, You hadn't helped me think....and maneuver time and chores......I know I would have faltered.  I often hoped and prayed the choices I made for them were smart ones....up to date ones....according to Your leadership guiding me.  I'm not sure how it all happened so quickly.....maybe......more than likely.....all my decisions were not smart.....but, sincerely wrought.
Lord.....as I have chased this child through the house.....and , remember now......he's crawling!......I have thanked You for the quiet, when he takes a nap. Years ago, I caught up on housework when they slept....... As this week has proceeded.....I've prayed for long naps so I could take one too! 
Jesus.....dear sweet One.....I am thankful for the day it dawned on me that writing to You would ensure I had a devotional time each day.  I never thought of it to be anything more than a way to talk to You and let You have the worries I had about my hope and prayer that what I was doing was pretty close to right for our children. I learned quickly that everyone had an opinion about what I was doing right.....or wrong.  And, of course, it was usually the ones who had no children that spoke the loudest.  I, being so dependent on the approval of others, always found myself sinking to the depths in those times.  I am thankful, dear One, that You always lifted me and encouraged me.  I love that the devotionals and scriptures that You gave me then, are still touching my heart.  It's so funny how You speak to us through a scripture at 23, or 35, 56  or 69....and the same scripture speaks in different ways.....as goes the years and the situation I'm in.  I know it works like that for all of us that need Your constant attention.  I can't go too long without an infilling of Your spirit in my heart.....and mind.  

Thank You for loving us through all the times of our lives.  No matter where we are, what we are doing, where we are living or what we are saying......You make it so real to me.....and up to date.  All I pray and ask for.....I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen.