As I think about the events of the week....I look at this verse for the day I see in front of me from I Peter 5:10.  Lord, is the NLT version what You intended?  Is it necessary for us to suffer as a rule ........ to "make it"?  Is this a requirement?  Do You expect us to "grin and bear it" for the lot of it?  How do we diffuse the anger and sadness that ensues after a tragedy?  How do we believe that "all things work together for our good" when we watch the enduring injuries some suffer throughout their life.....even doing our best to wear their pain as much as we can if we are blessed to have escaped some of the carnage other's experience.  How can we help?  How can we understand what seemingly cannot be understood?  Jesus.....Savior of the world.....I am blessed and I praise You for the safety I have been provided throughout my days.  I just flew through the skies from Philadelphia to Detroit to Indianapolis a few days ago.  A miracle to behold.  How in the world does that work?  You have provided the absolutely unbelievable conveniences for us as Your creations.  I have been the beneficiary of so much blessing.  I do not take it for granted.  But, You know what, Lord?  I believe I do on occasion.  I guess I am not alone.  All of us, have a tendency to.....until a fateful phone call or a doorbell brings an unwanted bit of news.  Often, Lord....I find myself slightly unsettled knowing that life as I know it could change very quickly.  So.....getting back to my original questions.....how do I speak about what we have experienced as a country?  With grace?  With the tenets of the scriptures such as the verse I referred to. The words from the NLT say to any of us who read it...."In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus.  So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation."  Lord, verse after verse after verse, tells us similar information.  We have believed for a long time that Your word is a divine tool You have given to us for guiding us into all of Your truth.  Now, understandably, I don't comprehend a good bit of it.  So many of us see Your "truth" differently.  And, of course, we tend to believe our way of thinking is "the right way".......(Who?  Me?)  I have learned along the way to listen to other's.  You lead us "into all truth"......I believe that.....and how I understand is up to You. My soul looks to You, Lord.....from where ALL I should understand and know and discuss.....comes from. 
I will listen.  I will believe that You are not a masochist.  I believe it does not give You pleasure to see us suffer....scrambling to make sense out of what has happened to us and struggling to find a new normal in our lives. 
I am waiting patiently to welcome a new grandson into our family.  He will be welcomed with love and kisses and a mother and dad and sister that are waiting anxiously for him.
Our hearts are blessed, Lord....to just be alive today....and to be able to breathe and enjoy the blessings we have.....no matter how little or how many! 
Help me not to let You down.  Someone may need me.  Help me to be Your instrument.  On the highways and byways, You need us to be mindful of the needs we can fulfil for another.  Give me wisdom.....just Yours, Lord.  And....Your strength to perform any duty You have for me.
I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Dear One......You are the sunshine of my life.  You make the days worth living.  You provide my soul with the nourishment that I need and You give me peace in the midst of storms that threaten to take me out.  I am so grateful for the power of prayer......yet, just being able to tell You the inner turmoil that I struggle with, makes me feel a little more freedom.  I am filled with the memories of the sadness's of the past....and how, even as I peruse them in my mind, I can see how You worked through them to give me peace and strength.....and bring glory to Your own self.  I do thank You that after I have given my soul thoughts to You and even perhaps, a vow to do better, You give me peace, after getting it out of my system.  It also turns out that after a time, sometimes years, I look back and am reminded that the burden I bore and then gave to You......was indeed, attended to, by You, and forgotten by me.  I feel that You have performed so many of those kinds of miracles in my life, I could never begin to say "thank You" enough.  That's exactly what they are to me.  Miracles.  Who in the world wants to hang onto the sadness  and past sorrows and moan about them all over again.  I remembered that fact the other day as I was speaking with a relative about an event that had happened in my life.  Lord, You have healed me in such a divine manner, and  the details so fuzzy, I couldn't even tell the story!  Now, Lord.....those are the miracles that unless someone tries it, they don't believe it can happen.  So many of my "Lord, Change Me!" experiences have given that to me.  Evelyn Christenson's book made me see that You are the One that does the "changing part" for us....after we have relinquished our stubborn behavior to You.  I pray, Father, that those who sat under my tutelage in those classes, will one day see that miraculousness of how You do that for us.
After all of the years and classes I taught, I think only one person, no.....two, I think, ever came to me and told me of victory that they received by trying that technique in their lives.  I still love it.....I still live by it.....even though, I usually feel that I am NOT the one that needs to change....! ( Sorry, Lord.)  But, I know that, You, once given the task to take over for me....... show me what I need to do again. And again.  And, again! 
The happenings of the week have pushed and shoved my anxiety level to the top.  I did my best to turn over to You the areas I can do nothing about. The phone calls, the devotionals I studied, the "plan of action" I should move on.....all took my effort.  Guess what, Lord......?  I can't lose an ounce of weight riding my bike while I am eating cherry pie ala mode! (No one would believe I did that, would they?)  Like I said, these things took "my effort" but , what I couldn't say is,  they took my "best" effort.  You can do things for us.....shove us to move and make changes.....but, You have to stand back and watch, shake Your head in amazement at how dense we can be.  In what ever journey I am on, Lord......physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.......I can accomplish nothing of worth, unless my heart is truly cooperating with You.  Give me Your strength, Lord.  Only You can give me the direction I need.....and , I will faithfully serve, to the best effort I can give.  
In Your name I pray......Amen.  

Sometimes I wonder, Lord, if doing this blog is doing a disservice to You.  Putting my prayers on "paper" or a computer screen is perhaps showing a side to me no one really understands.......or prompts replies as to how I dare be so bold to write "that" to You.  How dare I talk to the King of Glory in such an irreverent way?  I speak as I would to One who loves me as no one else could ever......One who sees the flaws and failures as a step to loving You more than I believed I ever could.  These letters are the cries of a heavy and forlorn heart at times.  Other times, they are filled with complaints and whining that no one else would care to listen to.  But.....Lord.....sometimes I find I don't write enough.  This particular letter is the only one I have written this week.  I need to re-navigate my thoughts.  And, I will, dear One.  Each day as I read from Your Word, I preface the words with......."Help me understand!.......Show me how to live.......What do I need to change?  Give me Your power, and Your empathy."  In the times when sorrow overwhelms.....  Lord, when our hearts are depleted, You can come in Your quiet presence and fill us with joy unspeakable......glory that is unexplainable ......and peace, that passes all understanding.  It is amazing to me how You can supply what we need, when we need it. 
You know there are days when I look at the scripture lesson......or a devotional that I would ordinarily love......and I just close the book.  Why?  Because I'm weak or lax? Tired of trying and failing? Spiritually dragging?  Maybe I am.  Maybe I am just worn out.  Maybe I just need a little more sleep.  But, don't worry, Lord....I think You know, above all, that I am humanly inept at times.  I pray that You would preside over my being, in the moments I wander off.   I plead the blood of the Lamb that You would help me double bolt the back door of my heart.  I don't need satan pushing his way in when I am having a weak moment.  He is ever-so fervent in watching us letting down our guard.  Lord, give me the ammunition for battle that I will be needing, just when I need to fight!  I'd love to store it up......but, You and I both know I'd probably put it somewhere , and then, never be able to find it when I need it!  (Story of my life!) 
Jesus, use me.  Fill me.  Try me.....and find any thing that makes You sad.  Show me, Lord......so I can repair it.....quickly. 
"There is a Fountain.....Who is the King......Victorious Warrior.....and Lord, of everything.......My Rock, My Shelter, My very own......Blessed Redeemer, Who reigns upon the THRONE."  The song, Lord, "Who Can Satisfy My Soul"......is such a blessing.   Because You, Lord......are all of that and more.  All I need I find in You.
Thank You, Father.  In Jesus Name......Amen.

Thank you, Father.  Thank you for giving us a plan to follow.  Thank you for giving us a wonderful example to express Your love to us.  After seeing the depiction of Your words to us from the presentation of "The Bible",  I am stunned at the realization of how deeply You love us.  Seeing the suffering.....and  the sacrifice  made is not for the faint of heart.  Where in the world did the idea that being a Christian is for weaklings?  I am amazed at the tenacity of the men and women who were determined to follow You and spread the gospel as they understood it to all who would listen. 
Lord, as I watched so many being terrorized.....and how lost they must have felt when Jesus left their presence.....I don't know if I would have made You proud at all.  The "under-the-bed and cover my head" position is the one that seems closer to my reaction.  Thank You for the impact You had on Paul.  He was changed by his encounter with You.  It must have been powerful to see the difference. 
Lord, as our choir presented the cantata yesterday, I praise You for making the words and the music come to life.  After so many ill - sounding practices...... there were so many of us touched by Your presence as we sang.  Knowing You take us just as we are.....broken, wounded, empty, lost.......each one of us You mend, and heal, fill and find.  No one can does that job like You do.  No one.
Lord,  empower me to be a better disciple for You.  One that does not draw away from  the confrontations with those who do not believe in You.....but, I ask for the patience and kind heart that never gives up and always believes there is hope while there is life. 
Thank You for the excitement that comes from being Your child......and seeing how a life can be changed.  From dark to light......it is amazing how You can love us into being all You planned for us to be. 
Your grace is enough.  Even when I doubt.....and falter.  I know my Redeemer lives.....in me and through me.
In Jesus name I pray.  Amen.

Good morning, dear One.   Thank you for the privilege of sleep.  I feel as if I slept well.  I will see for sure now....after an hour or two goes by......I may have to take a nap!  I woke up thinking about how I finally understood something.  It came out of my mouth while I was teaching Sunday School yesterday.  I appreciate the fact that even though my knowledge of the scriptures is limited, You are the actual teacher.  You helped me discover that long ago when I was given the job of teaching a teen class.  I truly wanted to bolt and run.  But, I remember a few things I learned even then as we began our ministry, from teaching that class.  I remember even delving into the Revelations a bit.  You give wisdom, Lord.  It is a truly wonderful thing to ask You for it.....and to receive it.  I love the verse I felt you gave me to exclamate (I think this is a new word for me) it.  I wrote it down a long time ago when I found it in Evelyn Christianson's book, "Lord, Change Me!".   It just gave me such relief to see that You understand the entirety of how I think, and learn.  For me, I feel unworthy to teach anything, yet, with Your leadership, I can teach what I know.....what is real to me.....and, what I have experienced from my interaction with You.  Interaction.  A funny thing....isn't it, Lord?
I know You are not visible right now....but, You might as well be.  I do feel so often that You are quite nearby.  Anyway, I keep getting off track......the verse that I can't seem to find the reference to right now, is telling me that I don't need to worry about how much or how little You expect me to change in my areas of growth in my relation-ship with You.  I remember when I first began my mission of "Lord, Change Me!", I wearied of having so many places I needed to work on.....when, miraculously, that particular verse was thrown into the text of the book.  So, I became encouraged that You would teach me exactly like that.   It says basically, ".......line upon line.....a little here, a little there,,,,(in some versions, it said, "precept upon precept").  I remember at the time....(My word, Lord.....I had to have been only 26 or so , Lord).....I was amazed that You knew even then, I might feel overwhelmed or discouraged. 
When I was explaining about "wisdom" yesterday in class, and said, "God will give us the wisdom we need....at the time.  Just enough.  And, when He chooses to give more.....then, we can move to that.  Stopping.  Asking.  Waiting.  I was encouraged to be wiser in my devotional time.  I see that to remember what "I need to know", I don't have to re-write everything word for word.  You will give me what I need....when I need it.   "A little here.....a little there".  This morning when I associated that verse with what I taught yesterday,  I marvelled at how You touch me Lord, with Your kindness.  You didn't have to.  One day, I may have "got it".  But, I have said it before and I say it again.  You love us.  You are concerned about what concerns us.  Amazing love.  How can it be?  That Thou, my God, would die for me.  So....continue, dear One.....continue to teach me as long as I am breathing.  Give me what I need for today.  No more.  No less.  And, I will be giving You the praise........because, You alone, are worthy of it.
For all of this....spoken and unspoken.....it's all in the name of Jesus.  Amen.
Jesus.....Savior of the world.....and friend to me,  thank You.  I'm forever grateful.
For all I speak of.....even, think of....and ask for......it's all in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Oh, and Lord,,,,,it's in  Isaiah  28:10.  "For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little......".  Thank You, dear One.

Thank You, dear One, for the promises of Your word to us.  For the promise of springtime.  For the promise of eternal life with You.  For the forgiveness of sins that You provide us.  And, for taking the time, Lord, to address the cries of my own spirit.  Often I complain.....to You, or one of my kids about my "plight".  And, really Lord, I know that no one person can help me.  You have to address the things that seem to gnaw at me......the things that cause me to feel uncomfortable or discontented.  I don't like feeling that way.  It's almost like I can feel a storm coming.....a bad one.....and I am fearful that I might have to run to the basement for protection in case the house would blow down.  That's a good way to describe my anxiousness sometimes.  I have to secure things with You before my house blows down.  I am grateful that You are the One that does run things in my life.  I try.  I do the best I can, but, I can never quite get it done.  There is always something else to handle.  Maybe......(?).......maybe, it's just the way life is.  For the worries that concern me and the endless projects to be started and/or finished......I place them at the foot of the cross.  I would like to think that since the scriptures tell us we shouldn't  worry about tomorrow,  I could do just that...but, regrettably, I am too human to do that.  I'd like to handle it, Lord......but, it's so much easier to give it to You.  You know exactly how I think.....You know how stubborn I can be.....(like a dog not letting go of a bone).....and I guess You already know how right I always think I am......well, I can take it from You!!  And, I promise.....I will.
I find that when I have exhausted all my resources, I am content to let You show me Your way.  I am ashamed to say it.  When I look at it in black and white, I am ashamed.  My way.....shouldn't be the first solution I look for.  I suppose that it's my need to see a quick solution....and that isn't how You work.  After a time,  maybe when we are sitting alone talking one day in heaven, You can explain to me why You never lost patience with me.  I am grateful, Lord.....for the devotional You sent my way today, courtesy of Joni Eareckson Tada.  As she wrote these words....."I want to learn to be content.  I want internal quietness of my heart, supernaturally given, that gladly submits to You, God, in all circumstances.  Today, I begin seeking this treasure in You"..........I saw that whether it is a broken neck or a broken heart......You know best how to help us get through the joys and sadness's of our lives.  Laying myself and my issues at the foot of the cross is the place I should set up a tent and begin living my life.......because it seems to be where I am most of the time.  It is not with trepidation that I move on from here.  Honestly, Lord........and I mean this......I really believe that You have my best interest at heart.  That, my concerns......are Your concerns.  (That is hard to believe when there is so much more of importance for You to handle.)  But, I will believe it, just because You said to.  So then, once again,  I give it all to You.
Satan would have me believe otherwise.  That You don't care.  That You are too busy.  That I am not worth all the hassle.  I know his lies and deceit have always caused You so much trouble.  I will defend You, Lord.  I will refute the lies he tells me.  I will plead the blood of Jesus.  I will sing Your name throughout my day, because .....You are my King, Jesus.  You forgave me.  You love me.  And, one day I will see Your face.  Praise the Lord. 
I pray today in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

You know, Lord.....I've about decided I have got to write this prayer blog more than once a week.  I have too much stored up.  I have to get it out.  I need for You to hear all my complaints.  I need for You to stop me in my tracks when I go off on an unnecessary tangent.  Those are time wasters.  Give me the wisdom to prioritize my concerns.  Help me address the issues that steal my time.  The constraints on my day to day are often overwhelming.  I need Your intervention.  I find that my need to spend time with You is superseding much I need to concern myself.  Isn't it odd Lord that the older I get, the more I notice this.  The kids are gone, so the wash isn't as big....they aren't here to leave their little messes all over......my house stays cleaner, longer.......so why don't I have enough time for You?  Uh.....I think that making sure I am taking it, is what.  Not allowing it to be swallowed up in the daily concerns.  Satan has a way of making every legitimate job to be done,  a way to keep me saddled with "duties" instead of letting me spend the important issues of devoting my time to You.  Making sure my commitment to You is firm and secure is my goal, Lord.  I would love for You to continue to make me unseemly uncomfortable  when I am not doing my part.  I find that the time I set aside to write my prayer blog......there is something else I really need to do.  I find that when it is time to write, my slate is blank.  It's a good thing You don't pay me to do this.  The relief I feel when I finish writing to You is "weight-lifting".  You are gracious to me, Lord.  I am grateful for the honor of letting my heart thoughts to Your charge and expecting You to concern Yourself with what bothers me.....alarms me......hurts me......and is calming to me.  I have found, Lord, that You come to us in times when we are at our wits end and we just aren't aware of it.  And, dear One......the times when You choose to be silent, I will try harder to know that You are waiting for me to do what You have taught me in the past.  To lean on You.....to trust in You....to not think I have all the answers....to acknowledge You in all my understanding of any given situation..... and believe that You will lead me......eventually......into all of Your truth.  It's hard to do, especially when I am tired of dealing with people.  I want to disappear sometimes.  But, I will continue to trust in Your management of my life.....hoping I am living up to Your expectation of me.
A few days ago, the "Pop-Pop" of a young lady in our church, passed away.  She wrote a few lines on "facebook" about him.  My heart was touched, Lord.  She gave any of us that read it a windowpane view of how she loved him and what he meant to her.  Lord,  I told her that I was proud of how she spoke of him and thought to myself that each one of us that call You Lord, want our children and their children, to view us as Your servants....and to be an encouragement to others as  You would lead us to.  Besides the promise of being with You in Heaven one day......isn't that a good goal to have?  You have promised us so much.  I think the promise of "peace that passes all understanding" is what I appreciate most.....of course the unfailing love You provide, not withstanding, is above all.  God of all......thank You for the provision in Your word for all we need.  I will always praise You. 
In all I express to You.....I speak all of it,  in the name of Jesus.  Amen.