"MY LETTERS TO GOD": December 2015

Thursday, December 10, 2015

I know, I know, Lord. It's been a while. People will maybe be wondering if I stopped praying. It's just that they're (my prayers) a lot shorter now. They mostly consist of few words. "Dear Lord.....I need You to help me. (pause.....very long pause!) In Jesus name I pray......Amen."
I ask all the time....questioning the validity of doing this blog. There's nothing sinful.....is there......I mean about doing this? Of course, there is a level of "How wonderful that she is so transparent!" here.....I think! It also invites criticism on another level.....doesn't it? And....no! I don't think I have a death wish.....which is a little foolish to say.....yet, You and I both know that people can wipe me out with very little trouble. I try to act like they don't bother me, but, I have to ask You pretty much all the time to "save" me again from falling into the pit. Important to my living victoriously....You answer me. You assure me of Your love to me. I live with a history from You that gives me peace. I love to see a verse of scripture speaking to me through Your word that unequivocally tells me that YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW I FEEL. I am so grateful for the gift of Your word to me.
A few years ago, I was teaching in Wednesday night church. Maybe a dozen were present. It doesn't matter, really. I knew when the subject came up, I wouldn't quite know how to answer. Is there a difference in the outcome of a particular question if You pray........or if You don't pray? Of course, Lord.....the plausible answer to a query like this is all spiritual. Yes. Of course you pray! Duh! Then why in the realm of all that is good and holy.....would a stupid question like that even enter a mind? Hmmmm.......Lord, why? Because, I say that when let loose....allowed to roam through the recessed areas of our mind.....looking at the realities of the sadness of life.....we fold. Rather, I fold to the snide comments of the enemy. Sometimes, I hate to say it out loud. But, I admit, I look at the obvious areas of defeat and degradation and admit "It's just too late to pray!"......or "What use is it to pray?".......and I have to force myself to say...."Get thee behind me Satan......I've got to pray!" Lord.....I have faltered in the past. The reality of life in my own life and in the lives of those we love..... have sometimes stifled me......and I have failed in even murmuring the words, "Please, Lord.....just help us!" That is a sin, I believe. For me, anyway....someone who should absolutely know better. Of course, there is that part about me.....the part I am not too crazy about. The part where I have to admit I am human. And, then I can come to You and say how sorry I am for this, that and the other. I hate that. I'd like to be perfect.....I think. 'Course, considering the fact that You are.....and still not accepted by the world.....what do I know?
I guess I know that You are the Christ. The son of God. You came into the world through a divine choice by God. A natural birth by immaculate conception. Oh, divine Lord.....help me never to forget that when You were completing the plan Your Father had for You to die a cruel death on the cross.....You prayed. And, I am sure You felt very alone. Forgotten. Abused and hurt..... just waiting to be saved by the multitude of angels standing by. It was quiet. Did You understand that no one would be coming to save You? I've often wondered if You secretly knew. Somehow though, I feel that You were in the dark then......as we feel we are sometimes now when we pray and ask for Your help. Faith in You.....a silent resolve that You, in Your divine-ness......have our best interest in Your hands.
I'll stand by that, dear One. I'll do my best to remember it. I speak all of these thoughts in the name of Jesus.
Amen.

Introduction to "My Letters To God"

My letters to God came about by my need to communicate with Him on a regular basis. I needed to, as a christian, a wife and a mother notwithstanding, pray every day. As a young mother I found myself almost continually interrupted by my two little girls. All for necessary and legitimate reasons. You and I both know satan uses every trick in the book to keep us from communing with God and I felt that he was definately getting the upperhand. So, one day out of sheer desperation, I grabbed a sheet of paper or a notebook (I don't remember) and began to scribble out a prayer for God to come and rescue me. I needed to tell Him EXACTLY how I felt. I needed Him and felt that this was my only recourse. Invariably, before I started writing, when I was interrupted I hardly ever would go back to my devotion time. I'd forget where I was in my prayertime and it all seemed futile.....after all, the wash had to be done, the beds had to be made, baths needed to be taken care of.....etcettera.....etcettera....etcettera. After the first attempt, I tried it again and again until this wonderful habit was formed for me. I could literally stop mid-sentence and almost always go back , and pick up where I had left off. As I found my time with God lengthening because of my determination to do this, it ended up being my solace. Even with two more daughters and a son as the years went by. I often found that it was truly a wonderful thing when I would search for a word that described what I REALLY felt. Many times in my prayertime prior to this , I would skim over the

hard parts that would express my angst to Him sort of mumbling, "Lord, you know what I mean.....". I was so terribly desperate to express how I really felt. To that, I could only tell Him in my tears and fears and frustration hoping He would still love me. I'd reread sometimes and find that I was alot meaner than I knew He would be pleased with.....or, I was not as bad as I believed I was.

Writing to God has followed me into the years that the world says are the "senior years". It doesn't matter to me. As long as I can hold a pen and write Him all of my heart thoughts, the "mind stealers" will not deter me. I am determined to be God's instrument. I will blow my horn for Him as long as He gives me breath!

As I share my letters with you, past and present, may you find in Him the solace that you need. He will give that to each of us. This is my prayer.

"MY LETTERS TO GOD"

My Life Verse

Thursday, December 10, 2015

About Me

Blog Archive