VACATION: Ready to Go Home? Hmmm...guess so!

I'm wondering how to go home, be up-beat and excited to "get back to the grind" when I really
am not ready to. How, Lord? Can You fix this for me? Most of the time when we are able to
go away for awhile, I am always ready to get home....and get back to business. Some days when
I feel I'm on display....I get weary. Wondering if what I say, how I say it, when I say, or if I say
it....will be taken in the way it is intended. And, always.....I pray that You will attend to my heart. I ask that You will make it the example of what a heart that loves and serves You is
supposed to be. That is and always will be my goal. And, I realize Lord, that I cannot always
count on me to be the warrior for You I need to be.....that's why I lean so heavily on You. The
scripture says that we are given a bit of the mind of Christ in us .(Lord, I wish You would make
me a little more cognizant of that fact.) Perhaps, I'd get in less trouble. I also believe that in a
fully committed heart of a christian, You impress us often to move into Your area of thinking
and speaking. I feel uncomfortable when I have displeased You in my talk or behavioral thinking . You Lord, are my comfort zone. I want to feel and see Your smile. I want to know
that as I come and go in my various duties in and out the church, I will see at the end of the
day, the knowlege that Your presence and Your assuring eye have followed me throughout.
I have enjoyed each day that we have been privileged to enjoy the sunshine....a nice room to
view the vastness of the ocean and the various activities we've enjoyed. Thank You Lord for
allowing us this gift. Miles and miles to go are not even possible without the safety of Your
watchful eye. Lord, Your will and Your plan is all we desire. Each of the words I have used
to express my heart thoughts and requests, I ask in the name of Jesus. Amen.
Uhhh.....Lord, I anxiously await Your response.

Help Lord! I Can't Do This Alone!

Lord, as soon as I finished reading her post....I wrote a response. I am thankful that I am not in
her shoes today. Understanding the sorrow and hopelessness of a suffering child you
have borne is a place no mother wants to go. As I read parts of her heart thoughts...her trying and trying to get to the place of understanding why You are allowing this to happen to her
precious daughter.....and on and on and on.....I can't even begin to understand, Lord. It's so
hard to watch this heartache and being unable to help. I don't even remember playing this
song that came to mind after I finished writing this morning. "There's a Wideness in God's
Mercy" was written in 1862, by a man named Frederick Faber. Lord, I wonder what prompted
him to write such poignant words. I wonder if he was desperate for an answer from you, too.
Lord, there is a wideness in Your mercy, as there is a wideness in the sea. I feel there is always
mercy in your answers to us. I wish Lord, even as a child would wish, that sometimes You
change Your mind....in the troublesome events that we find ourselves in. Could You? Would
You? I see in many places in the scripture where You gave Moses a pass when You told Him
to lead Your people....and he continued to argue with You that he was not capable and You
finally gave him permission to have his brother, Aaron, help him. ( I also saw that Aaron was
not exactly the icon of virtue that Moses could have used to assist him.) And, Lord....I saw that
when You wanted to do away with the city of Sodom.....and were intent on doing so because of
their abhorrent sinfulness , You were willing to defer when Abraham asked if he could find
some righteous individuals.....You did, Lord.....and very patiently too, while listening to his pleas. I
ask, Lord, for your divine intervention in the life of this child and her family. I know You have
intervened heretofore and given them more time....I just would ask for more for them....and a
divine temporary healing if You please. Living with the sadnesses that life brings, I know, is what makes and/or breaks an individual....and their surrounding family. Lord, no one can live in this life without dealing
with the issues of life. How are we going to live with the next thing that comes into our life. How are we going to see Your face in the unhappiness that puts a person to their knees's. Lord,
I think I know.....but I have to admit I do not even like to write words like these....mostly 'cause
I don't want to think of what I might have to endure. You cannot give me grace for what hasn't
occurred. There's no point. The grace and strength will come as I walk into the water's of
doubt and despair and sorrow. Lord, I believe, from past areas of suffering, that You will provide the power of Your mighty hand to lift me above the serge of the waves. Lord, as I contemplate Your
way, I do feel contentment in Your power. As I look at the words from the song...."there is
kindness in Your justice....which is more than liberty.....there is no place where earthly sorrows
are more felt than in heaven....there is plentiful redemption in the blood that has been shed....
there is joy for all the members in the sorrows of the Head....." . Some I understand and some
I don't. But, we are a wide range of peoples, Lord, as You know. What I don't see, someone
else will. And that is how You work. I believe Lord, that You will take care of us. That You will take care of me. We who
love You and worship You as our Lord place our trust in You. Give me Your peace this day.
All that I have spoken....and asked for are expressed in Your name. Amen.

WORDS: YOURS. MINE. OUR'S.

I'm not sure what to say, Lord. I am overwhelmed with the things You do. Over time, I see that
so many have looked at You, thrown up their hands in exasperation and questioned...." What in
the world are You thinking?". Dear God in heaven.....there have been times when I sincerely
thought about throwing in the towel. (spiritually speaking) Lord I am still in that number at
times. I guess it should make me sad when I think that way.....and then, Lord.....I realize that
being human is just that. Being human. I call on You. I beg of You fairly often. I breathe in
the essence of being closer than a hair's breadth.....but, I know that essentially I can only strive
for the perfection You ask of us and deal with the fact that I will have to continue that my whole lifetime. You Lord, know that what I think and feel is not always "God-like". Even on my
best days.....I can fall into that mode of disagreement with most of what I entertain that day. It's perhaps in the car, behind someone who is not paying enough attention to what they're doing or interaction with a sales lady or cashier, or just a conversation with someone that is
a bit contentious to me. My reactions are not always what may be pleasing to you. I am so
conscious, so often, that my usual mode of operation was to overlook a tone, an unkind word,
or an issue I chose to not confront. As the years crept by....I saw that I would get tired of never speaking "my mind". I also saw that when I did (speak my mind) it was not received
with "great joy". Lord, I also saw that the occasions when I did let my thoughts be known, and
it was not received well, I was miserable. I was very often compelled to apologize for my "need" to speak and choice of words. I can honestly say Lord, that I still struggle with the
notion that since I am 66 years old, have lived for You a long time, carried around a bundle
of guilt for this and that (even breathing!) at times and wonder if it's just better that I keep
my thoughts to myself and use You as my sounding board as I have for years. Honestly, Lord,
You have "aright-ed" me on many, many occasions
offering an opinion (if I had one), because of someone looking at me "funny". Lord, that's one
thing I have wondered about many times. I love being able to depend on You to help me be a
mouthpiece for You. I want so very much to NOT offend any of Your children by my words.
Even when I THINK I am "helping them".....help me "SOS" quickly to You for Your approval.
You have a way of stopping me......like taking the next thought or word completely away from
me. HeeHee! You do it Sunday School class quite often! And, it used to annoy me, scare me,
etcettera. But, now or atleast 'til I am diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I am going to figure You are
just trying to "save" me from myself! Lord, there are days I write You and jump from subject
to subject, knowing You know exactly where I'm going. It is such a relief to me to know that
You do. And, I also depend on You to give me what I need for the day. You know where I'm
going to be today...You know if I shop.....whether I really NEED what I buy....You also know
where I could find myself in a conversation....thinking...."Should I just go ahead and say it?" or
keep my mouth shut! All of these things could be in this day. And, Lord....it is a day to rejoice
in You and thank You for. We are in one of our favorite places....looking out on an unending
ocean....in fairly gorgeous weather for February. Thank You for allowing us this respite. And,
thank You for the gift of eternal life. Thank You for the salvation You provide. Thank You for
answers to prayers I didn't even pray. Thank You too, for answers I did not want to happen.
Thank You that You have allowed me to live through it all.
"I love You, Lord. And, lift my voice to worship You. Take joy my King.....in what You hear. May it be a sweet, sweet sound....in Your ear."
For each word....and request....I speak all in the name and power of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Hey, I Can't Get this Drawer Open!

Lord, I see that so many are struggling with the "daily stuff" of life. And, it's really so true for
everyone. That
little stuff; the nitty, gritty junk we all deal with is sometimes what can make us or break us. All the time we are looking at the "big" stuff that threatens to hit us and take us out....when in
reality, I find that the junk drawer that refuses to shut is often what can wreck my relationship with
You. So much has been shoved in and pushed in and finally
shut that one more thing is too much. I've had to clean out drawers like that on occasion. I get the metal pancake turner out with the long handle....shove it in upside down to
gain access to anything I can get my hands on. Hmmm....I think as I begin to pull paper's out,
and tape and pencils and pens and pliers and scissors and a D battery.....what in the world is
keeping this drawer from opening? And, then....one more thing, something essentially nondescript.....and the whole
drawer opens with ease. Lord, I find that piling one thing on top of another and another and
another makes my heart so heavy.....it hurts. As I said, nondescript things. Things you really
don't put a lot of thought time on....or if I do, at all.....it's one of those "I'll think about it later"
subjects. I know that often, these things I write to You, no one really can grasp what I am
thinking or even care, but Lord, that's why I tell You. No one understands me like You do. You
understand the junk I shove in the drawer that I don't want to deal with all the time (as I
should). You take the time to help me discern what is truly junk and what I need to keep close
at hand. This mental exercise is often so terribly tiresome. Actually, almost always it is. (tiresome, that is). Help me to not see it as something I can easily lay aside 'til I have "time"
to deal with it. Help me confront the first thing that I might be able to pull out of the drawer
without tearing it......help me to see that with Your wisdom and insight, I can make the right
choice....or have the right words....or the right attitude....or a forgiving heart that makes
that issue a problem. Throwing things in the trash can be a very enlightening experience. I,
actually like handing them to You....and You do the throwing away. That way, I feel very condemned
especially if I go digging for it again. And, You and I both know , I've had my rear-end sticking
out of a trash-can more than I'd like to admit.....thinking....."I KNOW I CAN FIX THIS.....I JUST
NEED TO TRY A LITTLE HARDER".....and drag it back out again....to my own detriment. No
one is ever going to see it like I see it. Why can't I learn that? And, You....stand by....watching
while I entertain the possibility of fixing it and shake Your head.....especially as You watch me
shove it back in the drawer.....'cause I don't want to take the time to deal with it all....again.
Lord, help me think more like You do. You had people coming at You from all walks of life.
People who had real issues to deal with. Illness. Poverty. Sadness. Brokenness. And, what I
can discern from the scriptures, You didn't put anyone on hold. You did what You had to do.
You said what You had to say. And You didn't shove anyone in a box of "Thing's I Need To Do
Later". Lord, as I go through this day, I would like to have Your empowering guidance to over
see all I do and say. The places I usually stash things? Well, keep a light blinking so I don't
forget. I've read so many devotionals and scripture this week that I'm not sure I have a favorite. I just know that You.....Who does all things well....loves me and desperately wants me
to make it to Heaven some day. I want to hear You say...."Well done....thou good and faithful
servant." That's my hope and my prayer. All that I speak...have spoken and requested....I ask
all in the name of Jesus. Amen.