"My Jesus.....I love thee.  I know Thou art mine.  For thee, all the follies of sin, I resign. My gracious Redeemer....My Savior art Thou.  If ever I loved Thee.....My Jesus 'tis now."  

Getting back to the basics, Lord......that's my goal.  We read.  We study.  We plan.  We write.  We talk.  All to show to You (?)......ourselves (?).......others (?) how wise in the word we are.   Your plan is to us, Your children. I remember, feeling so sure about telling a class about something I was sure was very significant.  So, I proceeded to tell that particular verse of scripture and the illustration that You had given me.  Everyone was kind in their receiving it....but there just was no "AHA!" moment on anyone's face like I had.   I knew then.....not all our "views" are for the masses.  I know there is nothing wrong with studying the word.  There is nothing wrong with sharing the Word.  I think You want us to search the scriptures.  I think for me, the confusing part is listening or reading a rendition of someones understanding to a particular subject....and just NOT getting it.  For years, I really felt that I was just too immature in my understanding of the scripture.....which in a way, stifled me into no studying at all.  Now that.....in my reasoning.....is the way of the enemy.  I will not be stifled by his tactics.  I cannot be.  If he can do that, he will have done his job.  To discourage and deceive me.  That is his plan.  I cannot allow that.  I haven't fought back very hard this year.  I have sort of stayed back in the pack......resting?  Not sure.  I just know it's not too good.  Time lost with God is a crucial loss in my life.  Yes.  I do need rest.  Yes.  I have to take time for me.  It's possible though, I believe, to rest and have a nice quiet time with my friend and Savior.  You know, Lord.....I have learned that You are always there for me.  Quietly waiting 'til I get it together.  Thank You for the scriptures this week  that seemed to speak to me.  Just about every verse I read....I felt love from You.

I find, Lord, that when I expect You to answer my prayers, my way........and  uh........You don't.......I tend to waver a bit.  It makes me a little shaky.  It unnerves me.  Sometimes, I get a little ticked off.  And, sometimes.....I just sit there and wonder....."Okay, Lord.....what do I do now?"  I place my heart thoughts and my heart cries into Your care.  You will do what is best for me.  And, I have to believe You will show us how to think like You do.  

Give me Your peace, Lord.  Give me Your wisdom.  I pray all of these things in the name and will of Jesus.  Amen.

Lord.....I think You know me well enough that You are aware I am once again in a quandary.  I make myself so tired.  Knowing You are my loving Savior and Lord.....and how You want to accommodate each of Your children......I hate to constantly ask the same questions.  There are times when I feel that You are sick and tired of my same old songs.  I have various and sundry verses of this song floating in the recesses of my mind.  I do think that the enemy loves to confuse me into thinking that You are "sick and tired" of me.  When I become convinced of that, I fear letting You know my heart........thereby allowing my esteem in the trash.  
I have included You in the thoughts and anxious moments of my life.  I have allowed You to push me to what I have believed to be extremes of any areas of my heart that are beyond my attempt to repair. 

 I have watched You take the pieces I've often handed to You of a broken situation I am responsible for and return to me far and above what I've ever believed could be created.  Almost to the point where I have deluded myself into thinking I've done something great.  I know and believe it is always You, dear One.  Always. 

Remember Lord?  Way back when I started talking to You in the form of letters?  I was so embarrassed someone would see what I had written, I threw all of my writings into the trash can.  You know the secrets of my heart.  You know how I tick.  Since I began to talk to You in this manner, I felt that since You knew me so well.....we had a certain connection.  I know though, dear One, this is how You relate to all Your children who love You.  I have forever asked You to watch over our family.  I have believed that You would always  allow what was best for us to grow into the people for You that would best be Your example in the world we live in.  I am convinced.  I'm not particularly fond of all the fodder that is created in my mind......while You are creating Your plan, though.   I have a tendency to analyze the daylights out a situation....put my own spin on it......and then worry to death about the outcome.  The end never turns out as I believe it will.....You always take the pieces of the broken creation.....and make it fit Your own plan.  

I wish I weren't so quick to jump to the wrong conclusion.  I wish I could believe You ALWAYS know what You are doing.  I wish I could be more like You.  I will, however, learn to be content to be human and hope that the front porch of my home in heaven will be a favorite place for You to come and visit.  I believe in You, Lord.  I will live for You, Lord.  I will be Your servant, in life and in death.  

I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen.