"MY LETTERS TO GOD": July 2023

Saturday, July 15, 2023

Dear One…..I guess You already know, my birthday was a couple days ago. You know last year, I felt so mournful that I “soon would be 80 years old” that I could barely enjoy my day. I know!

Lord, I find it stupid that “the number” is so intimidating. I found that the 13th day of July just was so special to me this year. I woke to thanking You for my life and that I woke up well.

“I find” myself blessed beyond measure…..pressed down, shaken together, and running over, will be poured into your lap. This verse, from Luke 6:38, (I’m not even sure I understand it all)….. is all I can think of. I feel like I need to keep my “grandma apron on” to hold all of the wonderful blessings in. She always used it to hold all the eggs she collected and/or flowers or too ripe vegetables from her morning trek. When John died, Lord…..I felt that everything stopped. My hope, my plans, my future…! The next day, I was still breathing. I had different children leading me, telling me, showing me things to do, plans that had to be made, phone calls and all that goes with taking care of arrangements. After all of that chaos ended and I was really alone….I could hearYou. Very softly and ever so slightly You were moving me to a new way of thinking.

As I view my life after three years without the man that married me August 22, 1964…..I can’t get over how I have allowed You to refuse to let me crawl in a hole….I really wanted to,You know! Okay…. I have to admit, You did allow me a few days of doing that. After a few months, I began to ponder the question asked me by one of my son-in-laws. “ Would you consider coming to live with us? “ A questionI would never have dreamed he would ask me. It really takes a quiet place….and a time of seclusion to pray earnestly for Gods will to be revealed and to follow His leading.

Lord, You have given me a home, within my own daughters home. A place where I feel content, fulfilled, and happy. Why not not confess that? I am as blessed as anyone could be without the love of my life with me.

My 79th birthday was probably one of the nicest of my whole life. A party at work with my workmates. Dinner out with a few friends and family, with live music playing. It was wonderful fun. And, loud! But Lord, it was so nice. Having two birthday cakes wasn’t too bad either! Thank You, dear Lord, for allowing me this privilege. I really consider it a gift from You. Sooo….thank You for giving it….throughYour emissaries!

What can I do for You, dear Lord? I will try to seek out a few places out of my comfort zone to serveYou. I say this in “fear and trembling” for fear You really will. Going to see the film “The Sound of Freedom” is one of those things I’m afraid to do…..and I supposeYou can think of.

I will try to honorYou, in all I do….say…..and think.

This letter is to the glory of You, Lord. I write it in the name of Jesus. There is no name under Heaven that exudes such authority.

Amen.

Introduction to "My Letters To God"

My letters to God came about by my need to communicate with Him on a regular basis. I needed to, as a christian, a wife and a mother notwithstanding, pray every day. As a young mother I found myself almost continually interrupted by my two little girls. All for necessary and legitimate reasons. You and I both know satan uses every trick in the book to keep us from communing with God and I felt that he was definately getting the upperhand. So, one day out of sheer desperation, I grabbed a sheet of paper or a notebook (I don't remember) and began to scribble out a prayer for God to come and rescue me. I needed to tell Him EXACTLY how I felt. I needed Him and felt that this was my only recourse. Invariably, before I started writing, when I was interrupted I hardly ever would go back to my devotion time. I'd forget where I was in my prayertime and it all seemed futile.....after all, the wash had to be done, the beds had to be made, baths needed to be taken care of.....etcettera.....etcettera....etcettera. After the first attempt, I tried it again and again until this wonderful habit was formed for me. I could literally stop mid-sentence and almost always go back , and pick up where I had left off. As I found my time with God lengthening because of my determination to do this, it ended up being my solace. Even with two more daughters and a son as the years went by. I often found that it was truly a wonderful thing when I would search for a word that described what I REALLY felt. Many times in my prayertime prior to this , I would skim over the

hard parts that would express my angst to Him sort of mumbling, "Lord, you know what I mean.....". I was so terribly desperate to express how I really felt. To that, I could only tell Him in my tears and fears and frustration hoping He would still love me. I'd reread sometimes and find that I was alot meaner than I knew He would be pleased with.....or, I was not as bad as I believed I was.

Writing to God has followed me into the years that the world says are the "senior years". It doesn't matter to me. As long as I can hold a pen and write Him all of my heart thoughts, the "mind stealers" will not deter me. I am determined to be God's instrument. I will blow my horn for Him as long as He gives me breath!

As I share my letters with you, past and present, may you find in Him the solace that you need. He will give that to each of us. This is my prayer.

"MY LETTERS TO GOD"

My Life Verse

Saturday, July 15, 2023

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