It's been a while since I wrote, Lord.  Have You missed me?   Actually, I  wasn't trying to give you a break.  Technology wasn't cooperating for me.  Even so, it makes me feel badly...and so.....when I don't connect with You as often as I like.....I am just not right.  I just can't navigate properly. I snap.  I bite.  I am not so nice.  I can blame it on medication......or not enough sleep.....or numerous other excuses.....but, I know what it is.  It's like living in a fog all the time.  Nothing is clear.  I feel so stressed living in such a manner.  I am not willing to continue to live that way.  What is the upside to this?  I learn.  Slowly.....very slowly, I will continue to learn, Lord.  I wish I could say that I absolutely will not behave in such a manner anymore.  I guess I don't have the energy right now.  I do, though, recognize that I am the only one that can change things I need to change.  It takes such ......inner strength (I guess that would be the phrase) to make such a statement to You.  And, as time as shown.....I continue to have trouble in this area.  Call it "too busy"......"too tired"......."too whatever".  Lord..... just help.  Show me how to keep moving when I don't really want to.  Show me how to be the light for You that I want to be.  Give me the shove I need when I begin to feel so useless.  When I can't see the trees for the forest.  When my only response is "I'll do it later"......"I need a nap".......make me uncomfortable in my own self.  Lord....I know You hear me.  I know, from past prayers......that You love me as I am......but, You love me enough to want me to move past my "self" and get to a better place in my spiritual condition.  A more victorious place.  Depression gives me such a pain.  I need You Lord,  to "lift me to a higher plane....where doubts and fears  dismay;  though some may dwell where these abound, My prayer, my aim is higher ground."  I'm not dense Lord.  I know what satan tries to do.  He doesn't have to work at it too hard.....You and I know that is too true.  The third verse of the song, "Higher Ground".......is my concern.  "I want to live above the world.....'tho satan's doubts at me hurled;  For faith has caught the joyful sound; The song of saints on higher ground."  I always feel that I am in the cross-hairs of  his bow.
This whole prayer today,  is one I could have pulled out my archives of prayers since the 70's and the 80's......Huh......90's and up.  It makes me tend to worry that I have accomplished nothing.
One thing I do know, dear One.......my prayer......my aim......is higher ground. 
Lord, thank You for the promises.  Thank You for the assurance of Your power to change us, if we ask.  Give me what I need today.....and  then show me Your plan for me today.  I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

You know, Lord......I have been thinking about the subject matter that is involved with the word "revival".  I began my quest last Wednesday.  I wanted to put the prayer meeting crowd asleep!  No.....actually.....I wanted to know what they thought about "revival".  What they think "it" is and if they have ever encountered "it".  Lord.....I remember different times when my husband has been preaching.....and he'll mention the word "revival" in his sermon.  He'll say something like....."We need a revival.".......or "Don't you want to see a revival take place?"  People nod accordingly and seemingly agree......and I am thinking....."No they don't."  Really now.....  who wants to sit in church 2, 3 or more hours waiting till all who want to and certainly need to,  get all their stuff worked out with God (so revival can take place).  I have been in services where you're afraid to move, for fear you will discourage the Holy Spirit from visiting.  You're sort of looking around.....wondering, "Who's next?" And, how long do I have to sit here?" For a little while.....it is exciting!  Everyone is eager to see what is going to happen next.  And, then......It's all about the realities of life.  "The kids are hungry.  I'm hungry.  The food in the oven will be dried up.  The line at the steakhouse will be an hour long.  It's hot in here.  I had to go to the bathroom before I got here".........and on and on. 
 "Oh,  Lord, help me.  See what a brat I am?  I'm so sorry for bringing up all this stuff."   (I do realize that to have true Revival...............NONE  OF  THIS  TRIVIA  MATTERS!! )

See....Lord.....? This is what I think.   I think "revival" is for all of us who love You.  We need a kick in the pants every so often, because for me....I become satisfied too easily.  I tend to get a little lazy in my personal Bible study.  I can read for the day, keeping up with my "Bible in a Year" plan....but, real study takes time......perusing the scriptures, checking out the places where You want my heart and mind to concentrate on.  That, for me, is "revival".  Hearing a sermon that "speaks to me".....like I am the only one in the room.....that is too.  Lord, I love those times.  It makes me realize that You CARE about the needs of my life.....and that,  if I care too.......then You can accomplish some great things in my heart and my life.  Not everyone moves at the same rate.....and Lord, You and I both know, there are a few of Your children that feel they need to change nothing in their hearts.....that all they do and say is faultless......and worthy of Your "Stamp of Approval".  Sometimes I wish You'd put me in charge of somebody or something!  I'd like to do some damage control for You.  But, of course, Lord.....that is not how You roll at all.  You, dear One, have such mercy and grace to all of us.  You, dear One, are the faultless One.  You, dear One, give us the unwarranted and blissful forgiveness and blessing that no one deserves.  I often think I am so smart.......and, gently and lovingly, You show me that I am too full of myself and even though You love me.....I need to change those places of danger for me.  Thankfully.....so far, I think, I have listened and abided by Your rules. I'm trying to have a listening ear. 

"Oh, Lord.....I need Thee.....Oh, I need Thee.....Ev'ry hour I need Thee....Oh, bless me now my Savior.....I come to Thee".

For the revival power I need.....give me the strength to "sit and wait" on You.  Your timing.  Your way.  Your day.

I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

There is not more than one day that goes by that I don't remember what You have allowed me to enjoy and have blessed me with, Lord.   I am so touched by what You have given....to my husband and myself.  Our blessing of having been called to the Ministry....our family.....the friends and family that have given us their prayers and support......all of it, Lord.....deserves thanks. 

I love that You have given us the privilege of prayer.  To know that anytime, day or night, and anywhere......You listen to the cries of Your people.  I am part of that, Lord.  I am included in the grouping called "Your people".  It gives me solace.  In this world that cries out all the time for more and more and more......You give peace and contentment.  I've decided not to rush You for answers to the queries I have about my future, the hopes and yes, even at my age, the dreams.  No one knows what the morrow may hold.  I know so well, how answering a phone call can turn your life upside down.  My peace is knowing that only You are seeing the end from the beginning.....and, I want to be sure that You know my ultimate delight would be to spend eternity with You, dear One.  Nothing else could suffice.

You have given me the power....strength.....and purpose when I desperately need Your touch ..... throughout  the days when I worry about how to manage the issues that arise while.... and after raising a family.....living for You.....counting my blessings.....doing Your will.....and through the night.....when all I did during the day seems for naught. The security of having Your Word to guide me into all of the truth I can handle for the day.....and the promise that You will not leave me to my own devices....all of that gives me comfort.

I place the uncomfortable things I am responsible for.....times I've misspoken.....hurt someone with my words.....or behavior......into  Your hands.  My "devices" often turn out to be too self centered.  Even though I ask forgiveness for my transgressions.....I have to leave the ultimate answer for the forgiving power to You, Lord.  Nothing I have ever done.....or will do.....deserves this gift of mercy.

Jesus,  Lord of all.....accept my desire to show You the gratitude of my heart.  I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Lord.....I really think it is funny.....and not, "funny ha-ha, either"........ how YOU step into my life and make a statement to me without saying a word.  I say this to You.....because, I really thought You agreed with me about this particular issue.  'Course, I have a tendency to think You know I am right.  I usually do think You do......since I am such a paragon of virtue and a "willing" disciple.  To say this out loud makes me feel a little foolish, in all reality.  And, I am sorry I sound so egotistical.  That is not where I want to be, Lord!  Please forgive my attitude and help me to do better.   So, anyway.....  when You squelch my plan of action, and I realize that I am not "ALL  THAT".......  I am  a little shaken.  It's not  often that I feel I have to make a "statement"......and, I usually don't just rush in and start my presentation.  I try to always remember that I am supposed to be Your servant.....and speak words that You would be pleased to deliver Yourself.  Lord....I thank You for protecting me from myself.  It is sort of amazing to me how You work.  I shouldn't be so surprised.  I ask Your will to be done through me.....I want to be the Instrument for You that I should be.....and then, when You cut me off.....and,  make it impossible for me to speak.....well......I twitch a little bit!  So......okay.  I did get Your message.....loud and clear.  Now what?  Is that the end of it?  It is a bit ridiculous.  Really ridiculous.  "What is?", You ask.  How I could possibly think that You always want me to do Your talking for You.  I  told my Sunday School class the other Sunday that it is "always best" when You, dear One, do the talking.  Hmmm.....I guess  I should listen to myself once in a while.  I am all into that right now!  I will try to never forget that again.  And, if I do.....uh......feel free to step in!

"Lord Jesus, I long to be perfectly whole; I want Thee forever to live in my soul.  Break down every idol.....cast out every foe.  Now wash me and I will be whiter than snow."
I will forever be grateful, Jesus......that You are the Guiding Light for me.....always.  I want to be "Whiter than Snow"....always.  I do not want my will to overwhelm Your will......ever. 

Jesus, saturate me with Your power whether I like it or not.  I will follow what You need for me to do.  Lord, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth.  Your will, only.  Amen.....for now.