"MY LETTERS TO GOD": January 2017

Saturday, January 7, 2017

I'm so grateful, dear One....for being able to talk to You. It has so much more meaning to me when I can write out the thoughts that are clamoring to get out of my heart. I know that the heart and the head are two different entities. Why does my heart and my head feel connected? For me, most of the time, it seems to work. I love the way You work. I am grateful that you are aware of my need for You to nudge me when I am happy to be a slug. I am grateful that You do give me a sense of unmet needs that require my attention. I am grateful mostly, that You always meet that need for me. "I need You every hour, Most gracious Lord....No tender voice like thine, can peace afford. I need thee, Oh, I need thee; Ev'ry hour I need thee! Oh bless me now, my Savior; I come to thee!" You are the light of my life. I give my husband the next place with that light. You don't always make me laugh, Lord. (He usually can with his antics!) I do find that when the dust has settled after a particularly hard place, I can find a smile. I believe it is the contentment that I find in knowing, in all things, You have control. I like to know that You give me the mental ability to rekindle the joy of putting something together that requires skill. In all things, since we retired, I've wondered what my place should be. Where do I find my joy? How involved should I be? And, I guess, is that what gives me peace anyway? I remember several years ago a song was written called "Broken and Spilled Out". So often, Lord, I connected that song with the areas of my life where I felt I had been "used up for Thee". I remember weeping to those very lines as they were sung. It seems to me dear One, that I have been "used up for You" and still wait to be mopped up by someone. Why is it? Why, when I know others have gone through the fire......perhaps, still are.....that I moan about this? I can easily say, I need a kick in the pants when others have suffered so much more. The fact that I can write this text......still breathing on my own.....is a blessing. I believe You are my God. I believe You are the mighty One. I believe You answer prayers in a way that will benefit all who believe in You. The "whys" have not all been answered to my understanding.....perhaps they never will be.....but I do ask for the benefit of all who are involved......it is what is best, for me and for mine.
"I need Thee every hour.....stay thou nearby.....Temptations lose their pow'r, when Thou art nigh.....
I need Thee every hour....in joy or in pain....Come quickly and abide...or life is vain. I need Thee, Oh, I need Thee....Ev'ry hour I need Thee.....Oh bless me now, My Savior; I come to Thee."
In all things, I need Thee.....and ask all in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Introduction to "My Letters To God"

My letters to God came about by my need to communicate with Him on a regular basis. I needed to, as a christian, a wife and a mother notwithstanding, pray every day. As a young mother I found myself almost continually interrupted by my two little girls. All for necessary and legitimate reasons. You and I both know satan uses every trick in the book to keep us from communing with God and I felt that he was definately getting the upperhand. So, one day out of sheer desperation, I grabbed a sheet of paper or a notebook (I don't remember) and began to scribble out a prayer for God to come and rescue me. I needed to tell Him EXACTLY how I felt. I needed Him and felt that this was my only recourse. Invariably, before I started writing, when I was interrupted I hardly ever would go back to my devotion time. I'd forget where I was in my prayertime and it all seemed futile.....after all, the wash had to be done, the beds had to be made, baths needed to be taken care of.....etcettera.....etcettera....etcettera. After the first attempt, I tried it again and again until this wonderful habit was formed for me. I could literally stop mid-sentence and almost always go back , and pick up where I had left off. As I found my time with God lengthening because of my determination to do this, it ended up being my solace. Even with two more daughters and a son as the years went by. I often found that it was truly a wonderful thing when I would search for a word that described what I REALLY felt. Many times in my prayertime prior to this , I would skim over the

hard parts that would express my angst to Him sort of mumbling, "Lord, you know what I mean.....". I was so terribly desperate to express how I really felt. To that, I could only tell Him in my tears and fears and frustration hoping He would still love me. I'd reread sometimes and find that I was alot meaner than I knew He would be pleased with.....or, I was not as bad as I believed I was.

Writing to God has followed me into the years that the world says are the "senior years". It doesn't matter to me. As long as I can hold a pen and write Him all of my heart thoughts, the "mind stealers" will not deter me. I am determined to be God's instrument. I will blow my horn for Him as long as He gives me breath!

As I share my letters with you, past and present, may you find in Him the solace that you need. He will give that to each of us. This is my prayer.

"MY LETTERS TO GOD"

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Saturday, January 7, 2017

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