I'M FOREVER GRATEFUL....

Lord, ever since I have decided to share some of my prayers on this blog I started, I've found it
a little harder to talk to you. I wonder why? I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I refuse to allow
satan to suppress my heart thoughts and confuse me into thinking it's not necessary to talk to
You on a regular basis. I have always felt that to tell You the feelings of my heart and my soul
will allow me to tread a little closer to the throne than I ever thought I could. I don't want to
spoil that in any way....and I will not.....stop writing and communing with You.
Thank You Lord for guarding my heart and mind. Thank You for the blessings John and I have enjoyed
as a married couple. Mostly, the heritages that we have been blessed to be born into. I'm so
very thankful for the children You've allowed us to raise. Each one has chosen You to be their
Savior and that is all I could ever desire for them. I am thankful, Lord, for the talents You have
given me. Musical ability aside, I have loved being a Pastor's wife (most of the time)....I've also
enjoyed being able to make whatever parsonage we were allowed to live in, a home that was a
place of love and peaceful surroundings. I've enjoyed being able to sew what I needed for my
girls. Years and years of little outfits, dresses and coats (when needed)....Lord, that was a big
blessing to be able to do that. Now that I think about it, I made a coat for our little son one
winter. He looked so cute in that. Lord, You have given me all and more I could have ever wanted and would
ever have needed. It is amazing how You have helped me enjoy learning all the traits of a good
wife and mother from my own Mom. Then, I found it not too enjoyable to learn from her....but
as the years have passed and I have the memories to cling to....I've learned to be accepting of
certain instances and behaviors I didn't understand at all. You have been faithful to show me that failures
are not the end of the world. And, that, I can learn and grow and even be more faithful to You
than I would ever thought. My plan to learn a verse or two of scripture a month is something
I will hold to. I love thinking about the scriptures and how men were inspired to write their
thoughts...Your words...and various experiences we read in the Bible. I am able to read and
even though I don't always understand....I keep moving in and through the Word to find the verses that
are applicable to my situations. Thank You Father, for the power of Your Word. I'm forever
grateful for the cross. For the fact that You came to save us from the grip of satan. I love Your
cleansing power and for the promise of Heaven one day. I speak and give my words, to You,
and ask that all will be done and said in the name of Jesus. Amen.

The Higher Place: Prayer

Hi Lord....I am filled with a nice level of joy today. I'm not sure why especially. Perhaps it's
because I rose today feeling like there is no storm to deal with today. Hmmm.... yet, anyway! I know that
there are those around me that are smack in the middle of one right now....and the only thing that
is possible for me to do is pray. I just bet you get nauseated hearing that over and over again. "The only thing you can do is pray." I've said it to people. People have said it to me and it's one
of those nod-your-head things that you do when someone says it and you forget it the minute you walk out of their presence. Many times people who are not able to do anything else in the
church, Lord, feel so "not important" because praying is all they can do. I remember the Sunday
morning it happened; I remember the service being disrupted a bit. I was called to the phone
in the pastor's study and heard that Mom was in Intensive Care and was not expected to live.
Lord, do you remember how I went through the house, basically packing everything I owned
and everything I thought we needed for the trip to Michigan. From that point to the day I could
carry on a conversation with you, which I guess was about the second month of her hospitalization, I
most definitely depended on the prayers of your people Lord. All to the glory of You. It kept
me on my feet. It kept me in "warrior mode" because my mother needed one. It comforted me
when I had to make decisions for her care that I felt I had no right to make. The prayers of
Your children Lord, kept me sane. That storm was so furious that I never thought I'd make it
through. The only light at the end of the tunnel was another train coming. I thank You for put-
ting me on the heart's of dedicated prayer's that could lift me to a higher place than I could even
think of being. I am so grateful. And, I have no doubt that is what saved me. I'm not sure I
could be put into that category, Lord Jesus. Prayer warrior? I don't know. But, I can tell You
this , Lord.....I'd like to be. And, then.....Lord, is that all it takes? Wanting to? Whatever it is...
however it is done....I think that's something I'd like to be depended on for. Bring those to my
heart and mind that need You today to do something for them that they are incapable of doing...
and I will pray that God will strengthen them and give them wisdom for perhaps, waiting.....
until You are ready to do what You want to. Thank You Lord for this idea of writing You so
long ago. I love talking to You. I love that You listen and care about the happiness-es and the
sadness-es of my heart. There is NONE like You. No ONE touches my heart like You do.
I speak these words and ask this request in the name of Jesus. Amen.

WHAT WAS THAT LOOK FOR?

It is amazing to me Lord how You love me. It's not that I do anything outright that
might displease You...I truly try to make a conscious effort not to; but You love me
right where I am. The thoughts that flood my mind...the needs I anticipate someone
might have (and they don't)...the past failures that plague me...the sorrows that
have driven me to distraction (almost to the end of myself)...all of this drama, and
You still call me Your beloved child. I rely on that, Lord. I don't ever want to
take it for granted. I give You permission to stop me in my tracks if I ever do! The
past few days I've wondered about how my life will be seen when I am gone. You Lord,
were without any doubt in the mind and heart of a christian, the icon of virtue that
each of us should strive to be....( and I know with our imperfections, it's not possible)....
and You, regrettably, were and still are, spoken of by many, with disdain. I remember telling someone at a funeral dinner, that .... "Yes, I want a viewing. I want everyone
to walk by me and wish they'd treated me better!" I remember the woman I said this
to looking at me and not quite knowing what to say. I'm not sure how I feel now, Lord. That was quite a while ago. And, I sort of said it to "get a laugh"....yet,
I think I meant it then. I hope I've grown a little since. Lord, I have worried
almost incessantly how I am percieved....viewed by others, etcettera. I remember
reading Joyce Meyer's book "APPROVAL ADDICTION"....or something like that...Lord, I
really thought that after I read that book, I'd have a handle on the things that
plague me. I'm not sure I learned a thing from it....but, I do know that I worry less about the people around me and think about You and what You are thinking. I
often wonder if You're smiling....or shaking Your head and looking down at your feet.
I usually know what that look means. I see Your face Lord, and believe that striving
to be the instrument You need me to be can be accomplished if I keep my eyes on You
and stop looking for "someone to approve of me". I want to see You Lord in the eye of my
mind, more and more and more. That keeps me grounded. That takes my eyes off of people
and how I think they percieve me. You. You are God. And You are all I'm living for. I say
again and again, that the words I write and speak to You are all said in the name of Jesus.
And, again I say, Amen!

Being Your Servant...Always

You know, Lord....I often wonder why I don't have a few more opportunities than I do
to lead someone to Christ. I hope it's not because You don't trust me....I just do
wonder on occasion why. I remember the few times I have....I found it to be most
exhilarating, yet worrisome. I have always second-guessed myself...always wondered
"Did I say enough?". Or, "Did I say too much?". The after-effects of "the event"
have not always been successful. I don't always use the right words. I never have
been sure that my scripture quoting was right. I couldn't always remember the refer-
ence, so I was sure that "it" would never work. I know that the ultimate decision
for You will be a seal that only You can stamp. I need to remember that it's You, Oh
Lord, and only You that can make the difference. More often than not, I have felt
that it was up to me to "get them to stay saved". And, Lord...I know that it is Your
imprint on our lives that makes us want to live for You. And, I know too, that Your
goal for me is that I live as I believe You want me to...that I pray and read the
scriptures...that I behave in a manner that exemplifies You, Lord. You and I both
know that You have had to reign me in a time or two...just because I thought I could
do more than You ever planned that I should do. I remember the time I felt like it
was my job to "protect" my subject from the discouragements that come. In essence, helping them step over the pitfalls that satan always throws into our lives when he knows we are tentative in our walk with You. I know You remember. Finally, I let go. I remember thinking, "Okay Lord, I can't do this anymore". This is Your job." I also remember them falling away from You and the church....and as far as I know, haven't ever returned to You. Satan would have me believe that these failures are mine to bear. I realize now that they are not. You will step in when and if they call on You again. I pray they do.
And You know what, Lord....I know that what You want from me is a willing heart and
a sensitive spirit to do what it is You have called me to do. I can't save the world
and know that the pressure of that would put me under. I would, though, love to be
the faithful servant You want me to be. Wherever. Whenever. I want to live the way
You want me to live and to be the courier for You I should be. Your instument. Today
is the day I give these concerns to You. I ask and speak all of these words in the
name and power of Jesus. Amen.

The Pleasure of Your Company....

Lord, I've been thinking about all of the requests I've made to you in the last few
months. I've noticed recently how You have taken great care to remind me that, yes,
I did ask for help....wisdom and strength not withstanding, You provided the portions
of scripture that even explained what You meant or why You withheld Your response to
me. I cannot tell You how that makes me feel as Your child....but I will try. Lord,
I have told You numerous times....that there is NONE like You. I feel as if I could
fly right now because that is how close I feel to You. When You respond to me in a
manner that tells me, "Corrine, I love you and I am your God and I will never allow
you to be overwhelmed by life because I WILL BE THERE....RIGHT BESIDE YOU....taking
the heat from the battle and calming the storm that rages around you." Lord, to have
you show me how to serve You is a great comfort. You know how often I think..."Have I really done my best? And, in all reality, I know I haven't....yet, you accept my
piddly offerings and still speak to my heart. I love the verses that I sort of forced
myself to learn recently. I love to experience the memorization process.... when You
have presented THE WORD to me in a visual manner especially. Seeing the importance of giving my children insights into Your words a little more than I did is sad to me.
The scripture from Deuternomy 6:7 "....impress them (talking about the commandments)
on your children when you sit at home, when you walk on the road, when you rise up
and when you lie down....". I was so busy fixing lunches, getting supper on the
table, trying to get everyone to the table at the same time.....excuses, excuses, and
more excuses. If I could do it over....I'd probably have my kids rolling their eyes
and saying...."enough already, Mom!". Lord, even with all of this after-the-fact
talk...I know You make Yourself real to us. All I have to do....all my kids have to
do is ask You. And You do. I praise You for that fact. I give You all that is
within me. I speak all of these things to You, requests and insights, in the name of
Jesus. Amen.