Lord.....I have seen so many good verses this week.  Verses that encourage me and even ones that try my spirit.  I suppose those are the best ones.  I do like it when You show me areas I need to work on.  As a wife, mother, and spiritual leader.....I need to have my heart and mind open to change my thinking when it is skewed or self-serving.  Lord....You know my heart.  You know my thoughts.  You know how the wiring is hooked up in my thinking process.  Whether it is a spiritual adventure or a secular journey.....I need for You to help me guide myself into what is the best for me.....and, I think it all comes back to my spiritual path.  That is where my heart is.  That is what my goal is.  Seldom do I ever go into an adventure anymore without asking for Your wisdom to guide me.  Whether shopping......preparing the worship music for the next service......cleaning out a closet.....advising an individual that has asked my help.....making a piece of jewelry.....(uh, I guess I could go on and on)......all of the areas of my being, I think,  require Your input.  I would imagine that some would argue that.....or feel it is a sign of weakness......but, Lord......I don't.  Not at all.  At this point in my life.....I think, even, more so, I second guess myself.  Have I got my key 's?  Did I grab my cell phone?  Do I have my........head on straight? Our friends that we vacation with laugh when they see my glue gun, or duct tape, or my mini-tool box!  "What in the world do you need that for?"  "Who knows?" , I think!  Maybe I will.  Maybe I won't.  I just love being able to say when someone has a need for something I have....."Hey,  I've got just what you need!".  Lord, I  wonder why I am like that.  I did the same thing when my children were babies.  I always had an extra bottle.....or pacifier.....or diaper.....or wash cloth (there were no "wipes" when my children were babies).....or outfit change.....or toy.  Once in a while, there was a need I couldn't fulfil, but, most of the time I was over prepared.  Lord, I still try to be ready for anything.....but, it seems I am losing my finesse at that particular attribute.  I wish I had the right response for everyone when they need a word.  Sometimes, there is nothing.  I find myself so silence-stricken I am annoyed with myself.  Almost to the point of being afraid to speak for fear it would hurt anothers feelings.  Where do we draw the line.  I have often wondered, is it my job to speak up on behalf of another?  Or, is that their own?  How far do I go?  Lord, You know I have crossed that line.  I have deep regrets about that.  And, I still wonder.....should I have?  Or should I have just stayed silent?  There is scripture that can almost be molded to say what one thinks they want it to say.  I have used that at times to try to prove my point(s).  I think I may have been wrong.  But, what is to be done, Lord, when that line has been crossed.   You can ask forgiveness from another.....but, it tends to often be just a weak nod of assent and then, without fail,  the relationship is usually changed forever.  I wonder how folks reacted in the days when Your followers were preaching and teaching.  Some were more than likely better preachers and teachers than others.  Paul nixed one mans hope of "preaching to the masses" because of his own feelings about him.  And, undoubtedly started a multitude of emotions that he didn't even worry about "fixing".  Those are always the areas of concern I worry about.  I try to analyze the feelings and the fixing of them.  It never seems to work out very well.  Just about the time I think I have it all figured out.....I see quite clearly that I had it all wrong.  Soooo.......I need wisdom, Lord.  Yours. Literally and figuratively.  I need to place my concern and trust in You.  I need for You to give me the shove I need when I need it and time to "zip it" when I get agitated. 
Your way is what I want more than anything.  Your words.  Your time. 
All I ask, I ask in the name of Jesus.  Amen. 

An afterthought:  You know, Lord.....as I looked at the finished prayer after posting,  I saw directly above it, is another prayer. My life verse.  I claimed this long ago after learning it as a girl in VBS.
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord....my Strength and my Redeemer" Psalm 19:14.    The cries of our heart are answered so often before we even speak.  Thank You, Father.

When I wake up in the morning.....often....really, Lord.....pretty often, I am thanking You.  "For what?", You say.  Well.....I think, dear One.....it is the fact that I woke up!
And.....that I can walk to the bathroom on my own.....go prepare my coffee.....grab my blanket to snuggle with and go read a devotional.....stare at the world around me....snap on the news for the day.....yes!  All of those things, Lord.  All of those things.  I remember my mother in her last days.  She'd wake up to the sound of a machine breathing for her.  She couldn't move enough to even rub her eyes a bit.  She had to wait for someone to come to "get her up".  Maybe, Lord.....maybe it's because I love to read Joni Earickson Tada's devotional's so much.  I love the candidness of her writing.
I love that unless I purposely think about it, she is just like all of us. Her being a quadraplegia......not even in the picture.  Her desires, her wants and her needs.  Yet, she cannot move freely unless someone comes to help her in the morning.  She has to lay still until someone comes to help her get up.  Lord....what is it that makes me get up?  Why am I allowed this freedom?  And, what do I do with it?  Squander the oportunities you send my way?  Feign tiredness?  Sit on the couch and waste my day?  Lord, there are people (some I know and some I don't)  that need someone to listen to them.  So often, Lord....You arrange a strange meeting.  Do I pay attention?  Do I listen appropriately?  Are my comments self serving?  Am I empathetic to them?  I just saw a post about a gentleman who has been homeless, is struggling with an addiction, has been incarcerated, and , is awaiting the court system to make a decision on his freedom.  He is an acquaintance.  He has been in our church services.  At that time, I never "saw" him as "homeless" or "destitute" or "addicted" or "lost".    And yet....I guess he is all of those things.  Is he Your child?  Has he asked You to be  his Lord?   Has he asked for a clean heart?  Your timing is what is most important, Lord.  We all have our own timetable.....for ourselves.....and for others.  It usually is coordinated with our own thinking.  It isn't always aligned with Your plan.  Help our friend today, Lord.  I ask that his wait for the court date be Your plan for him.  That he would be ready to serve You fully and completely in his life.  I ask that
all he needs would be ready for him to access when the time is right. 
I'm grateful, Lord....for the phone calls this week to tell me You are busy making a difference in the lives of those I love.  Many prayers have been prayed.  Many tears have been shed.  And....now, the wrongs are being righted!  Thank You, Lord.  I regret having actually believed it would NEVER happen.  I love being wrong!  Yikes.  I can't believe I just said that.  I love watching miracles happen......things I never thought possible.  As my mom layed still......watching and waiting.....hoping.....praying......I hope you whisper to her that her prayers are being answered when You see her the next time, Lord.  It will comfort her even more than she already is.
Fulfil my day, Lord.  Help me to be a blessing for You.  I pray my attempts at being Your ambassador, will be appropriate.
"Create in me a clean heart.....one that can glow and grow for You".  Not one that man can look at ......but, one that You, dear One, can look at and retain all the glory for Yourself.  I pray today for the Son to shine in me.  All I ask, I ask in the name of Jesus.  Amen. 

Thank You, dear One......thank you for the respites that come just when we need them.  Thank You for the gifts of loving friends and the children You allow us to have.  Their commitment to us.....their concern and love and prayers for us.....gives us the endurance to face another day.  A little dramatic, I guess, Lord.....but, that's me!  I can make a mountain out of a molehill any day of the week.  I see, over and over, the sadness of so many.  Often, I just SOS prayers for folks I see.....but, yesterday, I found someone that I was unable to walk away from.  Remember her, Lord?  I barely saw her.  She was sort of slumped down in her chair as I was going by her little place of business at the flea market I was walking through.  As I paused to look at her things,  she started by telling me all of her creations were hand made and were made by her.  We conversed back and forth until she just made a personal statement about herself and her mother's battle with cancer.
I walked into the little cove where she sat and just listened.  Thank You, Jesus, for reminding me often, that to minister to anyone, one doesn't have to worry about "what to say".  I just stood there.....gave her my attention.....and silently prayed for her.  She needed someone to listen.  She didn't need a sermon.  She didn't  need any stories from me comparing my life happenings to hers and how I dealt with my issues.  Before we parted, I  assured her I would say prayers for her, ask her name and  ( thankfully Lord, I remember it!)  have already taken her, her mother, and her issues with it all to the foot of the cross.  I ask Lord for the blessing of peace to give her some rest from the tyranny of red tape issues with insurance and the health care she's being denied for her Mom's care.  Lord, so often, beside the trauma of losing a loved one, the  "bare facts" that have to be recorded....the amount of numbers to be remembered for the government, all have a tendency to add to the mind numbing situation.  The issue of life or death is lost in all of that.  We are left to "doggie-paddle" our way to the shore if we have the energy after all of the papers have been filled out.
So.....Lord.....right now.....I ask for peace for the young woman I pray for and the precious mother that is suffering.  If You choose to do more.....and I wish You would.....please do.  You don't gather a lot of information in an eight
 minute conversation, but, You Lord, are the sole provider of the areas of our lives that are given to You to fix.  You give us strength.  You give us patience.  You give us wisdom.  You give us peace.  All of these, are enough.....but, I appreciate the fact that You give us so much more.  I am blessed and loved and I am thankful today for that.
Give me Your wisdom, Lord, for the decisions I make today.  Yes, I know.....it may be....."Should I get the blue one?" or " Should I forget it, and walk away?"  Not exactly life changing wisdom, but wisdom, all the same.
Thank You Father for loving me.  I praise You for the beauty of this day.....and the fact that I am living and enjoying it with You.
For all I pray, the needs of this day for those I love.......I ask in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Sometimes,  I wonder if I am coming or going, Lord.  I try to diligently follow Your word....and each time I think I have  my act together.....okay.....not, each time......but, help please.  What does this mean?  I read from yesterday's devotional.....Exodus 13:21a....."By day the Lord went out ahead of them."  Concentrating on the context of the devotional, I was encouraged that You go ahead of us....seeing what we will face.... nodding and approving (perhaps) that we can be faithful to You and live a victorious life that particular day.  Lord, You saw me.  I was in my lane, watching carefully in my mirror, side and rear view....even blind spot.  Lord, then I heard horns blowing.  Why?  I thought, "People just don't know what the "yield" sign means".  Then, an engine revving and angry eyes pierce my spirit.  Regrettably, Lord......I didn't respond as You would......I am pretty sure of that.  Why does my constitution constantly get barraged by the wiles of the devil?  I have no doubt that it is him.   He always tries my commitment to You.  Even after I have written to You....assured You.....re-affirmed.....he comes, sly as a fox, questioning my ability to stay true to what You have called me to.  I realize, Lord, that when I have smooth sailing, I am doing nothing to get on his bad side. (Is there any other?)  I am so thankful, Lord, that You do continue to work with me.  That You stop and pay attention to me.....that You care that I need Your intervention on a pretty regular basis.  I have a bit of a streak of ......do I really call it meanness?  Lord, You are the creator of me.  I do tend to disappoint You at times with my issues.  I'd like to not call them "anger issues" but,  I  know that is what they are.  People are so .....unkind.  (That word was not my first choice, Lord.)  Could You watch over me a little more closely.  Boy, would I love to surprise You.  I'd love to just smile and wave when people get mad at me......maybe that is what would be a better response from me.  Horn blowing never seems to do the trick!  Jesus, when I see such chaos , sadness, and depravity in the world, it truly seems ridiculous to speak of such tripe, but , I live right here....right now......and it concerns me that my spirit would ruin my testimony for You.  That, dear One, is what I need contained.  I read such special words the other day in a devotional.  Please, Lord, help me to remember what it said.  Words are easy.
Doing, is so much harder.  I vow to You Lord, that these words will stay with me.  I repeat them to You in my version.....I make it my prayer, Lord, that the plans, and decisions, and choices I make.......and the way I spend my time.....the thoughts I entertain.....and the company I keep.....and mostly, the manner in which I live before others......ALL OF IT.......will point anyone who hears or sees me, to Jesus.  Lord, it is my joy to serve You.  There are times when I feel sad that at my age, people irk me so......but, Lord.....Okay, there are NO buts.  I won't allow it.
I will begin and end with the same verse of scripture, Lord from Exodus.  "By day, the Lord went out ahead of them......".   Lord, if You are being that diligent with me.....if You trust me that much......then, obviously, when I am in a situation where I am tested......and my mind seems to forget that.....I can live in a manner that shows Your power to save, and forgive, and love, and make You proud.  Since You are already there......I can be assured You are watching and praying Your child will make a smart choice.  (Like I said, horn-blowing is stupid!)
In the name and will of Jesus Christ, I pray and ask Your blessing.  Amen.