Lord.....I'm trying to figure out how to say this.....'course You absolutely know how I think and already know......how very juvenile my thinking can be. I wish my thinking could be a little more profound.  You know Lord.  You know and the few that were in our Prayer Meeting group do too.....that our little series on "Revival" was tepidly received. Even as I studied the pages I found on my computer search.....I was so surprised that You had pushed me to keep the word "Revival" on our minds.  When the service  Sunday started out.....the singing was grand.  I love that VBS song that we sang at first...."You Gave".  One of my favorite lines is the last one......"Now, the least that I can do......is live my life for You".   Lord....that is the crux of all I tend to think about anymore.  Why in the world do I worry about the "things I prefer not to write 'out loud' and just leave it all in Your care.  Of course, You know my fears.....but, You also know my deepest desire is to "live my life for You."  So that even at my age, there will be no question for anyone, that my goal is to be like You.  So.....anyway, Lord.....when Edith stood up.....I knew.....my husband knew.....the Wednesday Night crowd knew too......something was happening.  I was excited beyond belief.....I knew that when she sat down, someone else would stand up.  Oh dear One.....I could hardly contain myself.  I was dancing across the front of the church in my mind, saying, "This is what we've been talking about....this is what we've prayed for.....all good, except for one thing.....I wanted some credit.  Yuck, Lord.  That just spoils it all.  I. I. I.  It's You, Lord.  You bless us with Your presence.  You get people to their feet.  You show us what is possible.  You fulfill the desires of our hearts.  And, on and on and on.  You do it.....when You are asked and invited to join us in our quest for the basis of "Revival".  Forgive me Father for the "I" thoughts that just can ruin everything.  We were so blessed to see Your wonderful presence in our service Sunday.  So many.....too many......have never seen a service "where heaven comes down.....and glory fills our souls."  It was a blessing, I think, to all who sat and observed what was happening.  It was all praise to You, Father.  Each testimony was a special tribute to You.
"How can I say thanks.....for the things You have done for me.....things so undeserved.....yet You do, to prove Your love  for me.....".   The song goes on to tell us that ALL tributes, and all glory, should go to You.  "To God be the glory....To God be the glory.....for the things He has done." 
And, I do say "Thank You" Lord.....for showing all of us that You are the same God.  You wait to be asked.  You are always a gentleman.  All glory and honor to You, dear One.  I will forever be Yours.  Amen and Amen.

We were just about at the Funeral home for the service yesterday, Lord.  You heard me.  You probably cupped Your ear.....and murmured , "Say that again, dear! I don't think I heard you right!"  Lord, some times I am not sure I ever learn anything.  I ask over and over for You to push me, break me, mold me, use me........don't I?   Yes....I think I do.  Now.....whether I truly really mean....."Push me?".......or "Break me"?....."Mold me?"......"Use me?".....I'm not even sure.  I thought I did, when I said it.  Am I hearing You say....."Really?"  When I said to my husband ......out loud......I really need  for you to pray for me.  I know my attitude about this issue is wrong. It turns out to be  one of those things that you don't need to ask a few people you trust to listen to your "side" and get their verbal "pat-on-the-back" to make you feel better.  I found myself adjusting the weight of it on my shoulders constantly to make me feel
better.  Every time You would bring it to the forefront of my mind.....that is what I would do.  I really don't need my husband to help me pray about it.  I know what to do.  I just have to let go of the tenacity of it.  It grabs me.  It irks me.  It gnaws at my spirit.....because I know the way I feel is not right.  When it came out of my mouth yesterday in the car,  I'm not sure if it shocked my husband or not.....but, it did me.   And, You know Lord, it embarrassed me.  Just to have my husband hear what I really think about this issue that should have long ago been settled in my heart.  I honestly thought I did settle it.  I kept a part of it back, though, in the file drawer of my mind.  You know, Lord.  The one where I can go at any time ......grab the handle......open the drawer and rustle through the pages until I get to "Past Grievances". Pulling it out and leafing through the pages I saw that I had documented that "HE" definitely was guilty and as I saw it, needed to do some penance. Oh, dear Jesus......help me.  I see as I write, how very much I need You to save me from myself and from what I think......what I do.......and what I say.  I am so filled with regret that I have unnecessarily carried this burden thinking I had really laid it at the foot of the cross.  I thank You for bringing it to me.  And, since I can do nothing about it anyway.....I pray for this to be resolved, once and for all. I will take my file and burn it or better yet.....You take it.  I'll leave it at the cross.  Whatever You decide, Lord....I feel free already.  I believe I am.  Thank You, dear One.


I have prayed and asked direction.....relief from the sin that binds....and strength for tomorrow.  And, Lord.....I ask all in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

I was wondering, Lord......do You have any trouble understanding me.....You know, at times?  When my feelings are all over the place?  When I have trouble even stating to You what I think?  Do You see deep down?  Can You understand my heart thoughts?   Mostly, do You get weary of all my moods?  Now, I ask all of these questions.....and  find myself not at all fearful that You would say anything other than....."No, child.  I see you.  I hear you.  I understand you to the deepest recesses of my own self.  No one could possibly ever understand you like I do".  That is how I feel You would respond to me. 

 Lord, I recently misunderstood the cries of anothers' heart thoughts.  As I carefully stated my own thoughts quite succinctly, I thought, in response......I found later that I had understood nothing of their need at all. It made me feel sorrowful that I was concerned about one thing.  My thoughts.  You know, Lord.....I used to never really state an opinion.....negative or otherwise. I began to feel as if I were a candidate for "Martyrdom".    Several years ago I decided "someone" needed to hear it. Now, a few years later, I'm not so sure it was a smart choice, dear One.  It is really so much wiser  to listen, I think.  Not just with my ears....but, with my heart too.  I'd like to get better at that.  Every one wants to be heard.  Every one likes to hear that they have worth.  Others, Lord.  I'd like to make sure this could be a part of my ministry to others.  To listen with our heart's as You do, Lord. You always know what we need......whether we like it or not.  I am glad, dear One, that You know exactly what will make me  into the image of Yourself that You need me to be.  Is that even possible?  Would You be happy if I could be? 
Whatever Your plan is, Lord. 
Whatever Your will for me is,  may I be Your example.


'Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name. 
In all I ask and pray, I ask in Jesus name.
Amen.