"MY LETTERS TO GOD": June 2016

Sunday, June 26, 2016

O Lord, Our Lord, My Lord. So often, especially these days, I look at my computer and think.....I really should post a prayer on my blog. I am frustrated and angry with myself......yet, walk by to lay on the couch. Too busy? No. Have nothing to pray about? No. I have an overload......way too much to "write out loud"! Everyone that thought I was a jerk........ will know for sure I really am a jerk! So I continue to pretend I am this "holier than thou" woman, have it all together and.......... since You don't "tell on us"......I get away with it!
I am trying, dear One.....to be done with that kind of living. It's not that I want anyone to know all my secrets.....or really understand my heart. It's enough for me that You do. I am touched by Your mercy, dear Lord. I am amazed by the example You set for us. I am shown love by the husband You saw fit to give to me every day. I will never forget how You took charge and gifted me.
I woke up this morning thinking about the song that Dotty Rambo penned several years ago. I looked up the lyrics on Google this morning. The words that kept going over and over in my mind were so poignant. Words that John and I sang together when the song was first released. But, Lord.....seriously, unless I am thinking especially about NOT asking.......I cannot hardly get through a prayer without wanting something from You. I find, even though I have way more than I need.....that I am in desperation to have You push me to another level. (Actually, Lord....I hate that term used today so much. ) "To another level." I think it is true though, Lord.
The words from that song should move me "to another level".
" I didn't come here....to ask you for anything.....I just
came to talk to You, Lord. You've answered a million
prayers or more, that I forgot to thank You for.....I just
came to talk to You, Lord.
Maybe tomorrow there'll be trouble and sorrow and a
thousand teardrops may fall....but, until I face tomorrows
I have no special favor to ask.....I just came to talk with
You , Lord."
Thank You Father......for Your perfect love. Thank You for the gift of eternal life to all who ask for Your forgiveness. Thank You for
for loving me when I am often found to be so unlovable......way too often. Thank You for giving us (me) peace when it is so desperately needed......so often. Thank You for the gift of the words of the Bible that speaks to my heart.....that teaches, admonishes, and provides encouragement.
I will forever be grateful. I will freely give You my heart.....it is my desire to. I will honor You. I will love You.
I speak all of these words in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Introduction to "My Letters To God"

My letters to God came about by my need to communicate with Him on a regular basis. I needed to, as a christian, a wife and a mother notwithstanding, pray every day. As a young mother I found myself almost continually interrupted by my two little girls. All for necessary and legitimate reasons. You and I both know satan uses every trick in the book to keep us from communing with God and I felt that he was definately getting the upperhand. So, one day out of sheer desperation, I grabbed a sheet of paper or a notebook (I don't remember) and began to scribble out a prayer for God to come and rescue me. I needed to tell Him EXACTLY how I felt. I needed Him and felt that this was my only recourse. Invariably, before I started writing, when I was interrupted I hardly ever would go back to my devotion time. I'd forget where I was in my prayertime and it all seemed futile.....after all, the wash had to be done, the beds had to be made, baths needed to be taken care of.....etcettera.....etcettera....etcettera. After the first attempt, I tried it again and again until this wonderful habit was formed for me. I could literally stop mid-sentence and almost always go back , and pick up where I had left off. As I found my time with God lengthening because of my determination to do this, it ended up being my solace. Even with two more daughters and a son as the years went by. I often found that it was truly a wonderful thing when I would search for a word that described what I REALLY felt. Many times in my prayertime prior to this , I would skim over the

hard parts that would express my angst to Him sort of mumbling, "Lord, you know what I mean.....". I was so terribly desperate to express how I really felt. To that, I could only tell Him in my tears and fears and frustration hoping He would still love me. I'd reread sometimes and find that I was alot meaner than I knew He would be pleased with.....or, I was not as bad as I believed I was.

Writing to God has followed me into the years that the world says are the "senior years". It doesn't matter to me. As long as I can hold a pen and write Him all of my heart thoughts, the "mind stealers" will not deter me. I am determined to be God's instrument. I will blow my horn for Him as long as He gives me breath!

As I share my letters with you, past and present, may you find in Him the solace that you need. He will give that to each of us. This is my prayer.

"MY LETTERS TO GOD"

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Sunday, June 26, 2016

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