At the risk of repeating myself....Thank You!

Thank you lord, for the power of prayer. Again and again, I come to You for the
answers I need. I praise You for the answers You send my way....very often when I
am least expecting them. You know I sometimes think...." I guess there's no sense
praying about that anymore....it must be something I just have to "live with". Shame
on me, Lord. I cannot believe those words even meld together in my thoughts. And,
for all the hoopla I express for "how important it is to speak to You about ALL our
heart thoughts"...well...excuse me Lord, I've got to wipe this egg off my face. I
say to You again...."There is none like You...noone else can touch my heart like You
do....I could search all eternity through...and find there is none like You." I
praise You for the wonder of Your answers that come and think to myself....Huh? I
don't remember praying for that lately...uh, well, thanks Lord. You must absolutely
think, "Is she ever going to trust me?". And, that Lord, makes me sad. I want You
to know I am going to mend my ways. I am going to take on the attitude of "never
giving up" and sticking to it....no matter how tiresome it is. Tiresome. What a way
to describe my subjective prayer activity. I'm sorry for saying that to You. I know
You know what I can handle. I know You also know that I don't know exactly how to
pray for what I think I want. For You to even entertain listening to my concerns...
I find it overwhelming. I do not ever want to take You for granted and let the words
"I'll pray about it." slip from my lips in a cavalier fashion....and I know I have.
I just said that phrase yesterday a couple of times. What I have learned from writing
this prayer to You today....is that You listen....You hear the cries of my heart....
You translate my whining into real honest-to-goodness requests to the King of Kings.
I forever will sing Your praises. Even when I feel that You're holding back on me.
I realize now that I am not always ready for the answer when I think I am. It is a
good thing You know me, Lord.....anyone else would say to me...."Uh, could you repeat
that?". And the funny thing is, I probably couldn't. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for the cross, Lord. I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

I Just Came To Talk To You.........

You know, Lord.....I have thought so much about that song that came out several years
ago, "I Just Came To Talk To You, Lord". Some of the phrases just stick in my head. One in particular, "....You've answered a million prayers or more, that I forgot to thank You for...". Basically saying to You that we ask and receive and never thank You. All the time, Lord...it's "Help me accomplish this" or "Help me understand"
or "Why do I have to do this?". It's almost a constant Lord. All the time I ask and ask and ask. Are You really sure You want me to do this? All the time? Well, You know, Lord....if You at any time said, "Don't come to me! You got yourself into this mess. Why should I? You only talk to me when You want something. Give me a break....I've got other people to help out....people that thank me and praise me...." well then what would I do? There is "none" like You. Thank You my dear Father for loving me enough to not respond to me like that. I realize that You have Your hands full just dealing with my wants and needs, but You love and provide for each one that calls You Lord. I am forever grateful for the heritage You provided me with. To not have been introduced to You at an early age and lived and grown in spiritual surroundings, my life perhaps would have been so different. Looking at the sea of faces of people I meet in everyday life...at Walmart...at the mall....at Red Lobster...I am so blessed to have been surrounded by Your children all the years I've lived. The faces I look at and nod to....often appear sad or angry. And then, I have to say that sometimes there are people who....bother me. Your people, Lord. They are so judgmental of each other. They are so unkind and uncaring too much of the time. It embarrasses me, Lord.... to think that I could ever be included in these groups. Oh, Lord....today my prayer is that I will forever be grateful for all You have given me and done for me. I do not want to be like the Publican crowing that "I'm glad I'm not like "those" people". I realize it is only by Your grace and strength supporting me that I do anything. I ask You Lord, to guide me into all Your truth in allowing me to be Your vessel. I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.....

Forty-six Years and Counting.....

Lord, all I can say is Thank You. Foremost in my thinking this morning is telling
you how I appreciate how You rescued me and my confusion in the choice of a husband.
Mom would have preferred, Lord, that I never marry, I think (!). And, I....had no
sense at all. Why my experience was so different from everyone else's I wish I knew.
But, You know Lord...I would not change a thing. You, I believe, saw my confusion.
You were way ahead of me. You knew my wiring....You knew how I thought....You knew
what I had to deal with. When "you-know-who" appeared in my life, I realize now that
You were trying to give me what my heart so desired. Someone who would love me in a
manner that I had never even thought possible. Lord, I remember (I think) that I didn't
spend a lot of time praying about this huge decision. I believe I assumed that since
I was Your child, there would be no question. I think I always thought I would be
the wife of a Pastor. I always thought of myself as a future Pastor's wife. I also
assumed that it would be an easy decision. Lord, only You know the utter confusion
I felt. John was presented to me on a "silver platter" and I just couldn't see what
was in my hands. Parents aside, this young gentleman was determined to marry me. He
absolutely would not take "no" for an answer. He bought the engagement watch...He
asked my Father...He picked the date...and he expected I would be there! When I go
back and think about it, I do not understand what my thinking was. All I know is,
when he and I were married by my Dad and Rev.George Harris, I knew, it was alright.
I don't think anyone is as dumb as I was. I did not know that You had given me such
an unbelievable gift. One that I did not ever believe I could have. He loves me.
He thinks I am His gift from You. To have unconditional love like this is too
precious to even describe. I thank You, Lord. The date he chose 46 years ago is the
date I celebrate today. Our anniversary. Thank You, Father for the way You love me.
The way You love and protect Your children is also indescribable. I give You all the
praise that I have within me. With this gift of a husband, I have lived and experi
enced life with five children that You blessed us with. Thank You Father. Thank
You for understanding the needs of my life and heart, and providing an answer for me
that I didn't have sense enough to ask for. No one understands the way I tick but
You. And, I know that because of how You rescued me and my thought process. I praise
You. For all I enjoy and love about the man You gave me, I give You all that is
within me. I will forever be grateful for my gifts. Give me wisdom in protecting
all You have provided me.....and I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Blessing After Blessing.......

Father in Heaven....today I woke up thinking about how thankful I am for sleep. You
know, the restful kind of sleep where you awaken with a sense of God all around you
and wondering what treasures await you today. I have to say Lord...I am blessed with
treasures that overwhelm me. To be aware of the blessings that abound in my life is
all important to me. I love the fact that I am able to see You in my mind's eye...
and can , in a sense, feel the touch of Your presence....guiding me, and sometimes
pushing me to the fullness of all the love You have for me. I can see the blessings.
Everywhere I look. Whether in my mind or viewing my surroundings....I see Your hand.
The blessing of knowing my eternal destiny is foremost. The personal gifts I have
been allowed to have are certainly the next on my list. My heritage, the husband You
gave me and the children You blessed me with, are not even the last of my blessings.
I remember the year I turned 65. I went out on the porch of my section of
the beach house that we had rented....remember?....and began to write 65 blessings in
my life. I remember thinking, I'll never fill this page up....and You, smiling, kept
placing all my treasures in my memory bank and I kept writing....incredulously...now
wondering if there would be an end. I honestly don't think there would have been. I
did stop at 65, but I kept thinking of more and more and more....just grateful to be
Your child and live in a country where I could worship You with no fear. For the
wonderfulness of Your love and mercy to me and mine, I bless Your name. (I still have trouble saying that Lord. How exactly do I bless You? ) I pray today for Your
wisdom and strength to do and say what I ought to...and mostly what You expect.
I would love to NOT fail You...I'd love to NOT have to come to You and say, "I
am sorry, Lord. I know I should have thought first". It is my desire to be like You
and be the emissary for You that You need, this day. In all I pray, I ask in the
name and will of Jesus Christ. Amen.

O, To Be Like You.....

Lord, help me pray. I know I should be praying more than sos prayers....You always
give me such special attention. I never.....well, almost never, think that You aren't giving me what I want.....or need. So often, when I am almost worry free, I tend to lean on the minute to minute prayers that show me Your wisdom in the day to day.
But, Lord....I need the discipline to do what I know I should. Oftentimes, that
particular issue is troublesome to me. I am sure satan notices and pushes it into
my face every chance he gets. "If you were a REAL christian you wouldn't be so lazy
in your prayer life".......is an example of what he does. He lies. He distorts. He
has only evil intentions. The deceit he practices makes me crazy sometimes. Trying
to discern his will and God's will scare me at times because he(satan) gets as close
to that invisible line as he can get. Lord, I just prayed that You would help me to
speak the name of Jesus to get him to leave me alone. The persistence that he exhibits is almost a positive quality if he weren't satan.....so I can see I have to
be MORE PERSISTENT than he is. It's scary to even talk about him, Lord...he is to be avoided at all cost. It must have been so hard for you to be plagued by him at different times in your life here on earth. Of course, he couldn't touch You, but it never stopped him in harassing You in some of Your weakest hours. Lord, You are the One I can turn to. You are the One I love. Would You help me be willing to do as You command. If I truly love You and Your ways.....I should have no difficulty in my spiritual growth. To be Your servant....to live so You are pleased with my talk and walk.....is my desire. To be like You....is what I pray in the name and
will of Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Call to Obedience

I was wondering Lord....if there was anything I could do about this broken bond in my
life. It tends to creep it's way to the forefront of my mind so often. I remember the scripture. I remember the minute I read it. I knew You expected me to do something. I believe the scripture said something about "all that had been hidden in the dark would be brought to light". I dreaded it but I felt I had no choice. And Lord, when I did do what I believed to be the best solution....nothing has ever
been the same. Lord, I was thinking again, "Have I done my best for You, even if I
don't care for the result?" I wish I didn't feel so grieved in my soul.
I've asked this question before....in fact several times. I truly believe
Lord, that the job of satan is to confuse me and to make me doubt in the dark what
I believe You showed me in the light. He always comes and tries to make me think I
can fix something that I have no control over. Lord, I know how to get him away from
me....and I wonder why I don't take care of him sooner. You have given me the power
through Jesus Christ, just by speaking the name of Jesus. Lord, forgive my failure
to call on You sooner to just save me from all my fears and disillusionment's. You
are my strong tower. You are the place I can go to hide when I feel the need to...
and what I like the best is that as many times as I ask You to save me....You do and
You never make me feel that I am a lost cause. Lord, I believe that when You ask us
to be Your instrument, it is not always a pleasant song that You ask us to play. I
think my job in being Your servant is to obey what You are nudging me to do. I also
admit to You that I know I push You to Your absolute limit when I wait and wait and
wait until I am absolutely sure You are the one suggesting. But Lord, I feel that
to charge in like a bull in a china shop is not Your way. I praise You Lord, that You are patient to a fault....and that Your love is what allows me to keep going. I ask Your continued patience in guiding and guarding my heart thoughts....keeping me in Your blessed will. I praise You Lord. I love You Lord. I pray and relax in my
spirit because I ask in the name of Jesus and Your divine will for me. Amen.

Asking...Receiving...Asking....

Sometimes Lord, it's like pulling teeth just to make myself sit down and talk to You. It embarrasses me to even say it...like even when You do the most amazing things, I hesitate. Lord, You do amaze me. I see You work. I feel Your presence. I watch the reaction of those that see the prayer answered. (I continue to hope and pray that not one of us will ever take Your power for granted.) Especially after You
have answered a specific prayer, there are times Lord, I have felt too tired to talk to You....or maybe it's just a feeling of exhaustion. A natural reaction. I don't know. I am always trying to figure out what You are doing. Your timing is perfect.
I believe it. I just am sometimes weary from the wait. This will not deter me. I know that there is no one that understands me like You do....
There is NO part of the "answering of a prayer" that I take as a coincidence. So, I can't stop here.
I need more help Lord. I have another need on my mind. I can't seem to do anything positive to help the situation. I've quoted the scriptures....I've asked for help....I've cajoled and nagged a bit....and I still see no results. Just more of the same. After You stay true to Your word and give us far more than we could ask or think time after time, I still hesitate to call on You "again". I know You want me too....atleast I guess You do. I just feel so needy.
Do You ever get annoyed that I am always asking for blessings and favors and needs
and even wants? I do feel foolish in my conversation with You. On and on I go,
thanking You and praising You for Your loving kindness......and then I start. "Oh,
Lord, I need You to do this or that". I wish I didn't need something every minute.
But, for now I do.....and I have no choice. You are my solace. You are the air that
I breathe....and I am consistently desperate for Your touch on my life. I thank You
for Your promise to "never leave us or forsake us"....and I will continue to give
You the praise You deserve. I pray always in the name of Jesus. Amen.