I wish.....just once.....I could write without interruption.  I used to think it was  because I was such a "busy bee".....but, it isn't.  I started my day, Lord.  I read and re-read some of my devotional pieces.....even, wrote some down for clearer thoughts.  I played a few games.....and then thought, well.....it's time to prepare the bedrooms for the kids.  (Keep them safe while they drive and fly for the weekend wedding that is happening, please Lord?)  And, then on my quest to prepare for that.....I'm drawn back to the computer for a talk with You.  It's okay, Lord.  You don't have to feel bad for keeping me away from my work!!!  I digress.  Anyway, I settle down to write....setting up the lettering and large print for those of us that need it.....and I hear the chicken I put on the stove to cook, boiling over.  (I thought the wooden spoon over the top of the pot would keep that from happening.)  Oh, well its a double boiler....I guess that doesn't count.  Lord, I spend five minutes cleaning up the mess......and, grit my teeth.  Of course I blame the delay on the evil one.  He knows its hard for me to concentrate on my writing.....he knows it doesn't take much to distract me.....and he also knows, I keep deliberating whether or not.......ENOUGH!  I was going to go over the same old ground.  Sorry.   Please Jesus, help me get this out.  You know I need to talk to You.  It makes everything easier to take..... when I can do that.  Talking has always been hard for me......and once I started trying, I haven't had all that much peace about it.  All last week, I could not get heads or tails out of any of my devotionals. This week.....I have been blasted with devotionals and  verses of scripture about listening.  I've always been a pretty good one.....listener, that is.  And, I always enjoyed asking the questions to allow that to happen.  All you have to do is look at the person so they know you are listening.....and nod occasionally.  I guess the reason I started thinking I should start talking more is because I found myself nodding at things I didn't agree with or like.  Now, I occasionally find myself preparing a statement WHILE someone is speaking.....so, I can make my point too.  Lord, I don't like me.  I think You need to change this for me.  I want to be useful to You.  I want to be Your instrument to change the hearts of people if I can do so.  And, I think to do that.....You must find me worthy of trust.  My ideas are  the really Your ideas..... the ones that YOU give me.....to my language of understanding.  They are the only ones I can count on being right....and gracious.....and level headed.  You are the Redeemer, I am not.  You are the risen Lord.  I only serve You.
I would venture to say.....Thank You, dear One.  "I   EXALT  THEE.   THEE.  I  EXALT   THEE.  I   EXALT   THEE ...... O,  LORD."
Now, I thank You for checking me.  Out of the mouth comes what is in the heart......is that a scripture, Lord?  I think it sort-of  is written in Your word.  And, when I chew on things I don't like...or agree with.....Well, Lord.....I don't think You are happy with the result.  "CHANGE   MY  HEART, O,  GOD......MAKE  IT  EVER  TRUE........CHANGE  MY HEART, O GOD.......HELP  ME BE LIKE  YOU."
I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

I am wondering, Lord.....could You light a fire underneath me?  I need to write more.....I need to express myself to You more.....I get tired of talking and no one really hears what I say.  You know that I have trouble getting to "my point" pretty often.....and I'm very aware I'm taking too long.....etc., etc.....and,  I always feel like I have to give the "back story".....and by the time I do that, I have practically forgotten the point of the whole thing.  Lord.....I am thankful that since You already know the "back story", I am a little more at ease with You.  Thank You, dear One, for that.  I was reminded this morning as I read another devotional from "Joni" of the verses You gave to me at a time when I was at the end of my rope.  Oh, Lord.  You saved me that day....and the days after.  I could not see any end to my plight.  My family had gone home.  My brothers had to get back to work......and, "since I didn't have a 'job'.....I had to stay!"  My mother had suffered a catastrophic event.  I thought  I was a pathetic choice, Lord.  All I could think about was me.....when my mother was in the most precarious position in her life.  Completely paralyzed from her shoulders down.....unable to speak aloud......move, or breathe on her own.  Yes, I am ashamed to admit it.....I was thinking about me. Not right away of course.  I give myself a little credit.....but, as time wore on.....days, weeks, months......ah, yes......the "selfish" part of me took over.   It was awhile until You could get my attention.  I was so busy "attending" to and "listening" to the needs of my mom....grieving for her plight.....wondering if I could ever go back to my family.....making huge decisions that would mean life or death for her with the specialists who were trying to keep her alive.  I was overwhelmed, to say the least.  I depended on the prayers of others.  All I could manage were the ones that required the fewest words.  "Help".  "Show me, Lord".  I prayed those in every other breath.  I was tired and tried.  I couldn't breathe.  I was begging for someone to save me, silently.  And, then, finally You spoke to me through the scripture.  I'll never forget it.  Well, actually, sometimes.....I do.  But, You reminded me this morning again!  "You are my servant.....I have chosen you.....I have not rejected you.....I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  From Isaiah 43..... I could finally breathe.....I could not believe what I had read.  I wrote it down and stuck it in my purse, Lord.....remember?  I told everyone that came in that day, unabashedly, that God had given me that verse....and that I thought it was for my mother too.  I remember looking at her and quoting the verse to her.  I realized that in her mind and heart, she just might be thinking....."What in the world did I do to end up in this mess?"  I wanted her to know that YOU hadn't rejected her; or that You were punishing her.  I wanted her to know that You had chosen her  and me too.....to show Your power and grace to all who were looking on.  Lord, after all of these years, I still believe it.  I'm so glad You reminded me again.
Knowing that the next phone call could change our lives forever should urge anyone to stay close to Jesus....always.  We always seem to find something else to do.  I'm so grateful, Lord, for Your power to move the mountains that block our view.  I pray for Your sustaining power to give me peace.  
I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen and amen.

So.....Lord of heaven....Savior of the world......I woke up hearing  "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."  I thought to myself....."Good grief!  It's not scripture......it's a song! "  I imagine there is something close to that in the scripture.  It seems that even though the secular world tries to blot You out of their comings and goings.....You continue to pop up.  I am appalled anymore at the nonsense we hear all the time.  The constant flow of talk of "God" and how any mention of His name is berated and the influence of prayer to this "God" is loathed.  "I  KNOW  WHOM  I HAVE  BELIEVED  AND  AM  PERSUADED  THAT  HE  IS ABLE....TO  KEEP  THAT  WHICH  I'VE  COMMITTED ......UNTO  HIM  AGAINST  THAT  DAY". When I am not even aware that I am quoting hymns or Your Word, Lord......I expect that You are standing behind it.  I am thankful for it.  For the experiences of other people, christian or not, I pause to speak ill of them.  For all intents and purposes.....I have.  Sometimes as I read Your divine words.....I don't understand what I am reading.  According to Peter, scriptures  do have to be sifted as sand......some words await a brighter hope,  a deeper understanding, and a level of thinking that I heretofore have not experienced.  Lord of all....I will believe that You are my guide as I try to get through the stuff of life.  I can only teach what I believe to be true, according to Your word and my own understanding.  I grow spiritually when my understanding of Your word co-insides with my personal experience.  It draws me near to You, when I realize that You, dear One.....understand the thoughts in my heart and mind.  As I endeavor to listen and have any advice for someone who needs Your words illustrated.....I pray and lean on You for that divine interpretation.  I contend that if I pray and believe....You will provide the understanding I need to have.  So many of Your children think they are so much smarter than I am......and love to flaunt it.  It makes me feel weak and a little stupid.  I will keep my level of understanding.....in Your hands.  When I have sufficiently learned what I need to from Your perspective....then, Lord.....and only then, will I move onto a higher plane......or is it going to be downhill from here!?  I'm getting to the four-score and ten pretty quickly.  I guess that's Your business too, Lord.  Just remember, Lord.....I asked long ago, that I will be a sweet testimony for You....when I am old.  Tell me again.....What is old?  Blessings on You, Jesus.  I am thankful for Your sacrifice for me.  Amen and amen......in Your name I speak......and ask all I do.