Oh, dear One.....how in the world do I ever begin to thank You for the gift of life.  My hope and my commitment to You is first and foremost in my resolve for the new year.  You have allowed me to live and given me health and fortitude to persevere when my senses are barely functioning.  I continue to depend on You for the possibilities that make me a person of worth at all.  I thank You for the gifts You have provided me to make any contribution to those I love and have committed myself to.  Being able to make any house our home throughout our life together has always been so much fun for me.  I think You made that one of my talents.  To be able to provide our children with a comfortable and cozy place to grow in and to enjoy a " soft place to fall"  has always been my goal as a mom.  You gave that to me, Lord.  I thank You for the blessing of having them all want to come "home" for a few days just to enjoy old memories and make new ones.  I praise You for the children You have blessed my husband and me with.  We are so blessed......so overwhelmingly so, that breathing is difficult at times.  These are treasured gifts that I will never, ever take for granted. I wrote at one time that to have son-in-laws and grandchildren that love us is icing on the cake.  It is amazing to me how we are so fulfilled.  I am filled to the brim with Your blessings.  Thank You Father for the blessing of being assured of eternal life with You.  I want nothing to deter me from that goal.  I want to make You proud of the life I live for You.  I don't want You to be ashamed of the individual You expect me to be.....or ever planned for me to accomplish for You.  I am pretty old to be talking about "being all You want me to be"......but, Lord......I know You have plans for us as Your children.  I know we are Your instruments.  What I can accomplish for You is still up in the air.  Help me not to weaken in my attempts to make You smile.  It is IN YOU that I live and move and have my being.  I give You my heart, Lord.  I praise and give You my obedience in all You show me You want changed.  In Your name and will I ask for Your favor and blessings.  I love You Lord.  Amen.

"I Just Have One Thing To Say, Lord......"

Dear One......I have just one thing to say.Actually, there is more than one thing, but, I have to start somewhere.  You are. That is it.  And, with that  "it"......there are no words that can accomplish the entire meaning of this prayer.  You provide.  You forgive.  You love.  You are merciful.  You are more gracious than we would ever expect anyone to be.  You give wisdom.  You understand the needs of my heart.  You grieve.  You befriend.  You accept our gifts to You, piddly as they are oftentimes.  The cries we try to subdue, you take to Your own heart.  When I am at a loss for words and do not know how or what to pray for.....You translate those murmurings and unintelligible sounds to Your Father for us......it is truly amazing to me.  Somehow, someway, I feel the touch of hands so kind and tender.  They lead me to paths I have never known.  They call me to the heights of Heaven and give me strength.  They overwhelm me.  I have never felt so safe and sheltered in the arms of a God who really has no reason to love me and protect me.............and, yet.......You do, Lord.  I am loved.  I can feel it.  You are a miracle worker.....and I mean it in the strongest sense I have the power to. 
The glow and charm of Christmas is still so precious to me.  The gift of the Son of God that was given to me, I unwrapped long ago.......but, I am still amazed at the newness of it.  The power it has to create in me the excitement of opening an especially "waited for" gift and the smile it brings to my heart. It makes me feel so loved and treasured by You, Lord.....The giver of life.  The Three -in-One.  The divine Holy Spirit.....so misunderstood and yet so overwhelming, I just accept it all.  Some day I will understand. 
As usual, Lord......I can't end a prayer without asking for something.....and so, I do.  I ask for all of the favor You can muster up for me today.  I need Your wisdom.  I need Your presence to fill me.  And, I ask all of this in the name of the One who loves me best.  You, Lord.  Your will.  Your way.  Amen.

Making Me a Blessing......to someone today!

Each day Father, I find more and more to do.....more to put on the list.....crossing off one.....adding two ......awaiting the moment I can sit a minute and go over "the list".....and finally assess that it is enough.   Is there always going to be a list?
I suppose that eventually when resources are no longer available.....there will only be well wishes! Until then, I will pursue the goals. 
 As I read a devotional this week I saw a gift that would be no expense at all.  The gift of giving your self as a prayer warrior for 365 days.  I have done this before and included several ladies in the process to do it also.  I do not think I ever followed up on whether they felt it was a gift that was well received......or even appreciated.  I think IF I felt anyone had chosen to do this for me......I would feel as if I had someone to lean on that would be somewhat responsible to talk to You for me......to ask You to lift me when I need
lifting, bless me when I need to be blessed, touched with your healing hand when I am ill, mentally or physically.  I read this earlier this week.....felt nudged by You to do something tangible for someone.....and didn't.  No real reason not to.....just laziness and failure to move myself to action.  It takes so little, Lord.  All we have to do really is write a little love note and tuck in some special good wishes and a prayer......and .......regrettably, I went empty handed......saw the one that You had nudged me about and felt guilty.  And, I should have.  I was disgusted with myself and berated myself for my lazy spirit.  When we met and embraced each other, her eyes filled with tears as we commiserated our thoughts to each other.  I knew my "gift" to her (from your lips to my ears)  would have been received with a grateful heart.....and there I was , standing ......wanting to make a difference......and couldn't.  How in the world could I tell her God had suggested to me I do something for her and I chose not to.
Disgusted.  And, that is all satan needs when he views my heart and life.  He continually looks for ways to tout the fact that I am a worthless Christian and why do I keep trying, anyway?   Vowing to make a difference.....determining to make a change to do just that.....and going by my physical feelings and just "putting it off 'til I feel better" will never accomplish one thing.   This has to stop, Lord.  My determination to be a warrior is waning.  The older I get, the lazier I feel.  I realize mental determination has a lot to do with my actual physical accomplishments.  I need You, Lord.  I need Your push inching  me in the right direction.  See, even when You suggest what I could do.....I still find myself finding excuses.  I find myself wanting to make a difference today.  However.  Whenever.  With whoever.  Put me out there and then, You and I can figure out later how to find my way back.  Prayer is easy for me.  I find that saying the words doesn't make anything so.  Doing is what really counts.  And, the biggest part is actually going to get what I need to do it......like a proper size box, tape and the right address to mail a package......or the right paper, card and envelope to send someone a note.  A phone call.....well, I need the phone book, a phone and a chair to sit in.  Why is it SO hard to do the right thing.  I have said it before.....so I will say it again......satan uses every legitimate trick in the book to get me off track.....to sideline my good intentions....sending me somewhere else to put out a fire that is never going to start.  Lord, my heart is weak today.....I guess my spirit is sagging a bit.  Why, I don't know.  It just is.  So, Lord.....whatever good I can do....I will.  I am so sorry I failed to do as You suggested, when You suggested it.  I will do my best to remedy this.   I need You to keep talking to my heart.  I want to be a better sounding instrument.  Not for my glory but for Your kingdom to come.  Faithful.  Enduring to the end.  Resolute.  Determined.  All of it....for You.  In Your name and will I pray and hope to live as You planned for me to.  Amen.

 It's the same thing every year, Lord.  Making the list. And, then.....what can I buy them that they really would like.  It seems to be a quandary more and more.  Very few of us really need anything except more money to pay bills.  The "gotta' have it....gonna' get it now" mentality is way too pervasive and creeps in so quietly we're not even aware it is happening.....and then, when someone asks......What do you need?  Or, what can I give you that you really want?  There is the same answer everywhere....way too often.  "Well, I don't need that......or want that......or like that......I already have one like that.....in fact....I didn't like it so I got a newer one!"  On and on it goes.  We try and fail regularly.  Atleast I seem to.  Okay, so what do I do?  Buy everyone something at the dollar store?  When we have to put money or a gift card in an envelope and hand it to the recipient.....does that convey our good wishes for this special time of year?  I am guilty, Lord.  I have too much.  Things I wanted, so I did what many do.....bought them....and didn't think twice.  What happened to feeling guilty because I should have waited until I really had the money or did something for someone else in stead.  Lord, I think I need to have a new perspective on an old question.  Why do we give?  Why do I give?  Is it so people will think we are....what?  Wonderful?  Special?  I'm not sure anymore.  I did at one time make special gifts to show my finesse at creating things.....and enjoy the wordy applause.  It's embarrassing to admit that.....and then to realize it is not the real intent of gift giving.  Your Father, Lord......our Holy Spirit, gave to us a most precious gift.  A child.  The purpose was to show us the way of salvation.  From birth to death to life in Christ.  It was unwarranted.  It had never even been dreamed of.  It was too "over the top".  Expensive?  In pain and agony and humiliation to the enth degree.  But, was what gives us the hope of Eternal Life and joy and peace and all the wonderful gifts You provide us with.  We have never received anything that compares and never will.  To think of Christ , the child given............and not receive Him with anything but thanksgiving and exuberant joy is to laugh in the face of God and say......What?  You expect me to be thrilled with this?  Take it back.  I'm not interested in having this gift.  I want a REAL present."  Oh, Jesus......Savior of this world.....let me give and receive in the manner You gave to me.  I receive the Christ.  As I open this beautifully wrapped gift......help me remember, there is no gift that can top this One.  It is as good as it gets.  For me......and my house......who all serve You......may we ever be grateful and love You as You allow us to.  It is with joy I serve You, Lord.  You are my grace......my strength.....my purpose.  Happy day to You, Lord.  I praise You and bless Your name.  Amen.