Pursuing Your Plan, Lord

It's amazing to me Lord how You can lift me to a higher place than I would ever believe. You lift me and grant me peace and the courage to step one foot in front of the other. Why am I so fearful to tread the same old path? A path that is well worn,
and there are signs showing the pitfalls so I can avoid them....No surprises. No real
blessing either. Is that it, Lord? Do You want me to forego the familiar? Are You
trying to make me feel a little uncomfortable? I have spent my life trying to deal
with the "uncomfortable" and trying to have a modicum of spirituality doing it. I'm
not sure about what You expect from me now....but I feel there is a place I need to
pursue. How do I show You I will never turn back? How do I give to You what I do not
feel is mine to give? Too many questions. And for now, no real answers... atleast the
ones I am looking for. Why I feel this way today, I do not know....but I do know You
have touched my heart in a way that shows me there is more to do.....and I don't mind
telling You that I am tired and am not sure I can or even want to do this. But, of
course, You know I will. I will because I cannot be happy in my relationship with You
if I do not open the door. A bit ago, not 5 minutes ago, someone knocked on my door.
I looked out to see if I knew who it was.....and I didn't. So.....I just didn't answer their beckoning. Was there a lesson for me there? Show me Lord. I'm open to
Your beckoning. I promise I am. If You're the One knocking, I'm going to be opening
the door to You. Show me Your plan. Show me how to fulfil it.
I am asking for Your will to be made plain for me. I am asking it all in the name of
Jesus. Amen.

SOS=needs help!

Lord, I need to talk to You. On days when I feel like this especially....I need to
talk to You. Just home from a nice, relaxing vacation with our family
with no accidents or catastrophies....and I am absolutely wiped out. What in the world?
Where does that come from? I can barely crawl out of bed....without looking at the
covers I'm pulling up over the pillows and wishing it were nighttime so I could get
back in. Lord, do you ever feel like this? Ever? No. I know You don't. I suppose You do however, relate to us when You think of Calvary and the trauma of that whole event for You. There is one time when You were aware of the humanity of our spirits. You understand when we beg to be relieved of the burdens we bear. You understand when we feel like we will never make it through the day. Decisions to make. Work that absolutely has to be done. Issues that have continually been placed on the "back burner" of our mind that have to be dealt with. Lord, only You truly understand and only You can give each of us the wisdom to do what is best, with You helping us. The issues that have to be dealt with....the needs of our family.....the
cries of our heart....well, Lord, they are still there. And we await Your mighty
power to heal our hearts....to answer the requests....and to wipe our tears with
your understanding. Lord, the words to a praise song we sing....."This is my desire;
to honor You....Lord, with all my heart, I worship You. All I have within me, I give
You praise. All that I adore is in You.....Lord, I give You my heart. I give You my
soul. I live for You alone. Ev'ry breath that I take, ev'ry moment I'm awake....Lord,
have Your way in me....have Your way in me." (and Lord, while you're at it...give me
a sense of peace in my weariness....if You would). Until then, I'm going to start
singing "the joy of the Lord is my strength" until the cows come home....HeeHeeHee!
You are the Joy of my life, Lord. Would You help me remember I just said that? I ask
accordingly, and respectfully that all of my requests and complaints and whining will
be deciphered into language that is in Jesus' name and desired will for me. Amen.

Learning....Growing....Enjoying.....

Okay Lord....what was that about? Did You not want me to post the letter I just wrote
You? Sometimes this computer asks me questions I do not understand. Obviously, I just
hit the wrong button. And, all I wrote was lost; but not to You. The wonderful trip
to the Outer Banks is a blessing. To have our children here and their families (near-
ly all) is a blessing to my husband and I. You know we have 22 now. Eighteen are here. Restaurant hostesses just roll their eyes when we walk in. To see our five,
grown and living for You is a gift You have allowed us to have. To remember that the
long road to get them there was all You, Lord. Nurturing, loving, disciplining in a
consistent manner took about all we had. "Be strong in the Lord"...."The joy of the
Lord is my strength" were just a couple verses we leaned on. There are times Lord
when I feel I have too much....that I have more than I deserve....satan jumps on that bandwagon that travels through the town in my mind. I have to often speak Your
name to get him out of there. Thank You Lord for the gifts You've given. The wonder
of it all, I lay at the foot of the cross. That's where it goes. So many are suffering. I think of the tragedy in the Gulf. There is no telling the lives that are
affected by all of this. You know. You are sifting this. You are there. Why don't
people call on You more to give them wisdom? Lord, I don't understand that. Thank You
for watching over us and giving us the honor of Your presence. I ask Lord that when
I feel that You are ignoring me....or rejecting my plea's...that I will remember the
verses You gave me when Mom had her accident that led to her death. After month's of
no real conversation between You and I....(except "HELP!) You gave me two verses from
Isaiah. Chapter 41. Verses 9 and 10. (Excuse me if You will,Lord....I've changed a
few things) "You are my servant. I have chosen you. I have not rejected you. So do
not fear....for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen
you. I will help you." What in the world more could I ask for? Besides blessings,
You give me wisdom in my trials. I will forever praise You. I pray in the name of
Jesus. Amen. Lord, please don't forget about the concerns of my heart. I still need
You to take charge and have Your will and way. Amen.

In Your Time, Lord

You know how I have felt all day, Lord. You, more than anyone understands my interest in seeing how You will work out the concerns of my heart. I read something today that reminded me of a statement I made to You about 11 years ago. My husband and I knew You were going to do something for us....we just didn't know when. We had choices we knew were there for the taking. We also knew what we really wanted (and hoped it was in line with what You were thinking). It was an anxious time. It was an exciting time. Did I just say exciting? And I remember specifically saying to You
that I wasn't sure what You were going to lead us into but I was anxious to see how
it would all turn out. I said this in faith, believing that, because You are God, You
know the intent of our hearts and want us where we can do the best work for You. And
in that light, I was excited to see what was going to happen and how You were going
to do it all. I will remember this, Lord. Today, it came back to me for a reason....
I'm sure! You wanted to remind me that, yes, I can pray, and I can believe, and I can
even hope.....but ultimately, I will see Your power and Your will revealed in Your
way and in Your time. I will stop being pushy. I will stop trying to bargain. I will
lay all of my burdens at Your feet and believe. I pray in Your name. Amen.

Wanting God's Plan

Dear Lord, It's me again. Over and over and over, I come to You with the thoughts of
my heart and believe because You are God, that You care about me and mine. I need
for You to take care of my children today. When we turn them towards the world and
in essence say, "Okay, you're on your own now. Go ahead...", it is for me, taking off
the training wheels. Lord, the years have passed by so quickly and I look at the five
adult children I have taken the training wheels off of and declare to You and the
world I have given the best I have. I am blessed and thankful for them. Now, Lord...
I need for You to give them the places where they can shine for You.
I believe that You place Your children in areas where they can do their best work and
be the best instrument that could be heard. Often, I wish that You'd take my advice
and do things that I'd like to see happen....but, alas, (sigh) You don't! Only You
Lord, can see the lay-out of the pattern, the execution of the plan You have and how
we have worn the garment. Lord, I pray that the plans that You have laid out for me
and mine, will be plans that we don't try to talk You out of....or fail to follow to
the letter. Of course, I know for myself, I've been almost positive You forgot me...
and tried to get Your attention by pouting....or yelling. Lord, forgive my intent to
want my own way. Help me remember that You do know what You're doing in our lives...
and You will, if we will be content in the situation we are in, do for us what we can not possibly do for ourselves. I truly believe in You....and I ask all that I do
ask, in Your will and in the name of Jesus. Amen.