"MY LETTERS TO GOD": December 2021

Friday, December 24, 2021

Dear One…..Once again….I come, I come. Why do those words remind me…..? Of course I know.

The old familiar hymn that has shaken some to their core in facing the reality of their own soul in jeopardy …..and others……out of that face to face inevitability of another encounter with that song….”Just As I Am” . “Just as I am, without one plea…..but that Thy blood was shed for me …..and that Thou bid’st me come to me…..O Lamb of God, I come….I come.

I did, Lord. I couldn’t stand the prospect of living without You. I do realize that some call it weakness. Or using a crutch, to get through life. I call it the right thing to do. Life is not easy. It can pull you from stem to stern (whatever that means). It sure does seem to fit the scenarios of our lives, at times, though! I just realized if I woke up in Heaven on Christmas Day after I go to sleep Christmas Eve night, I would know the fight to live for You would be over. It is, You know, Lord. A real “knock down and drag out”! If we are not on guard, with our armor on…. The enemy is quick to step in and take over the job of leading us into his traps that have already been set for us. It is like a mine field. He is good at his job. He wants us to yield to his temptations and snares that surely will set us on the path ….forget path. It’s more like a newly tarred and white lined one, created for our driving pleasure…..into complete destruction for us……for me.

Lord, I am blessed. I have a precious family that has loved me…..sustained me. I have all I need. I’ve been given a wonderful place to live. I have been given a beautiful car to drive. I even have a job……..I started to say “but”. In the scheme of things, there’s always a but….but, I am trying hard not to say it! I find Lord, Lord, that even though I am blessed with all of this…there is a loss that only You can fill. I can be in a room full of loved ones….friends and /or family……and that empty place seems so deep….so encompassing.

I thank You ever so much. I was given a gem of the rarest kind. You overwhelmed me at a pretty young age. I give You the praise for allowing me the joy of having fifty -five years with this special preacherman. He was, I truly believe…..Your gift to me.

Some have never known this kind of blessing….. I will forever give You the praise.

Often, I miss a blessing because I do get caught up in moaning about my plight. I pray….sincerely, that You would fill all of the empty places…the nooks and crannies of my being,,,,into places You would fill with Your divine-ness….Your Holy Spirit.

I yearn for a new level of a deep knowing of Your will and way for me. An understanding of You and the peace of my ♥️ heart. “ I love You, Lord….and I lift my voice……to worship You….O my soul…..rejoice! Take joy. My King, in what You hear….may it be a sweet ……sweet sound …..in Your ear.”

All of these words, Lord…..each one placed together to form the deep sounds of my heart…..they are written in and through the blood of Jesus. I’m so thankful You were born to take away the sins of the world…..including mine. I’m thankful for the cross.

Merry Christmas, Jesus. Amen and amen.

Introduction to "My Letters To God"

My letters to God came about by my need to communicate with Him on a regular basis. I needed to, as a christian, a wife and a mother notwithstanding, pray every day. As a young mother I found myself almost continually interrupted by my two little girls. All for necessary and legitimate reasons. You and I both know satan uses every trick in the book to keep us from communing with God and I felt that he was definately getting the upperhand. So, one day out of sheer desperation, I grabbed a sheet of paper or a notebook (I don't remember) and began to scribble out a prayer for God to come and rescue me. I needed to tell Him EXACTLY how I felt. I needed Him and felt that this was my only recourse. Invariably, before I started writing, when I was interrupted I hardly ever would go back to my devotion time. I'd forget where I was in my prayertime and it all seemed futile.....after all, the wash had to be done, the beds had to be made, baths needed to be taken care of.....etcettera.....etcettera....etcettera. After the first attempt, I tried it again and again until this wonderful habit was formed for me. I could literally stop mid-sentence and almost always go back , and pick up where I had left off. As I found my time with God lengthening because of my determination to do this, it ended up being my solace. Even with two more daughters and a son as the years went by. I often found that it was truly a wonderful thing when I would search for a word that described what I REALLY felt. Many times in my prayertime prior to this , I would skim over the

hard parts that would express my angst to Him sort of mumbling, "Lord, you know what I mean.....". I was so terribly desperate to express how I really felt. To that, I could only tell Him in my tears and fears and frustration hoping He would still love me. I'd reread sometimes and find that I was alot meaner than I knew He would be pleased with.....or, I was not as bad as I believed I was.

Writing to God has followed me into the years that the world says are the "senior years". It doesn't matter to me. As long as I can hold a pen and write Him all of my heart thoughts, the "mind stealers" will not deter me. I am determined to be God's instrument. I will blow my horn for Him as long as He gives me breath!

As I share my letters with you, past and present, may you find in Him the solace that you need. He will give that to each of us. This is my prayer.

"MY LETTERS TO GOD"

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Friday, December 24, 2021

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