I know, I know, Lord.  It's been a while.  People will maybe be wondering if I stopped praying.  It's just that they're (my prayers)  a lot shorter now. They mostly consist of few words.  "Dear Lord.....I need You to help me.  (pause.....very long pause!)  In Jesus name I pray......Amen."  
 I ask all the time....questioning the validity of doing this blog.  There's nothing sinful.....is there......I mean about doing this?  Of course,  there is a level of  "How wonderful that she is so transparent!" here.....I think!  It also invites criticism on another level.....doesn't it?  And....no!  I don't think I have a death wish.....which is a little foolish to say.....yet, You and I both know that people can wipe me out with very little trouble.  I try to act like they don't bother me, but, I have to ask You pretty much all the time to "save" me again from falling into the pit.  Important to my living victoriously....You answer me.  You assure me of Your love to me.  I live with a history  from You that gives me peace.  I love to see a verse of scripture speaking to me through Your word that unequivocally tells me that YOU  KNOW  EXACTLY   HOW  I  FEEL.  I am so grateful for the gift of Your word to me.
A few years ago, I was teaching in Wednesday night church.  Maybe a dozen were present.  It doesn't matter, really.  I knew when the subject came up, I wouldn't quite know how to answer.  Is there a difference in the outcome of a particular question if You pray........or if You don't pray?  Of course, Lord.....the plausible answer to a query like this is all spiritual.  Yes.  Of course you pray!  Duh!  Then why in the realm of all that is good and holy.....would a stupid question like that even enter a mind?  Hmmmm.......Lord, why?  Because,  I say that when let loose....allowed to roam through the recessed  areas of our mind.....looking at the realities of the sadness of life.....we fold.  Rather, I fold to the snide comments of the enemy.  Sometimes, I hate to say it out loud.  But, I admit, I look at the obvious areas of defeat and degradation and admit "It's just too late to pray!"......or "What use is it to pray?".......and I have to force myself to say...."Get thee behind me Satan......I've got to pray!"  Lord.....I have faltered in the past.  The reality of life  in my own life and in the lives of those we love..... have sometimes stifled me......and I have failed in even murmuring the words, "Please, Lord.....just help us!"  That is a sin, I believe.  For me, anyway....someone who should absolutely know better.  Of course, there is that part about me.....the part I am not too crazy about.  The part where I have to admit I am human.  And, then I can come to You and  say how sorry I am for this, that and the other.  I hate that.  I'd like to be perfect.....I think.  'Course, considering the fact that You are.....and still not accepted by the world.....what do I know?  
I guess I know that You are the Christ.  The son of God.  You came into the world through a divine choice by God.  A natural birth by immaculate conception.  Oh, divine Lord.....help me never to forget that when You were completing the plan Your Father had for You to die a cruel death on the cross.....You prayed.  And, I am sure You felt very alone.  Forgotten.  Abused and hurt.....  just waiting to be saved by the multitude of angels standing by.  It was quiet.  Did You understand that no one would be coming to save You?  I've often wondered if You secretly knew.  Somehow though, I feel that You were in the dark then......as we feel we are sometimes now when we pray and ask for Your help.  Faith in You.....a silent resolve that You, in Your divine-ness......have our best interest in Your hands.  
I'll stand by that, dear One.  I'll do my best to remember it.  I speak all of these thoughts in the name of Jesus.
Amen.

I just re-read my last letter, Lord.  I can see that I haven't moved much from that thinking.  I write You.  I complain.  I promise.  I forget that the things I give You in prayer are meant to stay in Your files.  My wheelhouse is not big enough.  Plus, my processing skills are not very good.  I cannot seem to move fast enough, or think fast enough, or remember what is first on the list.  See?  All of that, before I've had my coffee. My problem is such that You should want to turn Your head.....You've seen it all before......and You've heard it all before.....and I'm still struggling with it.  Lord....I need to be Your example.....I need desperately to leave my troubles with You.  My constant dabbling in "making things work" never works. I always have had this thought process that You and I see things pretty much the same.  Some people thought it comical.  I find anymore that I see it as egotistical.  Help me Jesus!  I need to have Your Spirit give me a going over.  I'd like to believe that I could still learn how You need me to live.  How that now.....I could be a real example for You.  Yes.....besides getting myself all healed in my body.....I'd love to feel that my heart would be Your heart. 
 It used to be a little like that at the parsonage.  "I've got to get dressed before someone comes in and see's this place or me looking like this."  I guess that will always be a problem.  I wish I could keep people out.  Good grief!  I can't believe I just said that.  (See, Lord......that's what I give You to work with.....and I am sorry......but, that's so often my issue.  Why do I just about always feel this way?  I wish I understood me a little better.  Maybe then, I could help myself do better.  I suppose Lord.....I guess.....I will have to "own" myself.  Maybe You can change me.  I've lived forever it seems with that mantra......"Lord, Change Me!".  After I read Evelyn Christenson's book......I felt that that could be an answer to my dilema.  For years, I followed the content....as much as I could understand it......and applied it to my life.  I was sure, Lord......that I could come out of that discipline and be just about perfect!!  Instead, to my amazement, I found that I was not as "right" as I assumed I was.  You know......the "I'm sure that I am not the one that needs to change in this situation, Lord"........and "Okay, fine!  You see what You can do, Lord!".....stomping my feet at You, mentally.  Oh, Lord!  I have found that You have had Your hands full, trying to reign me in as I always want to go off full tilt to conquer whatever needs to be handled......forgetting to ask in Your will and way.
I wish I knew what I should do with everything I have amassed over the years.  I have cleared out, and re-packed everything again as I get it.....trying to pretend I don't care....and I still can't seem to get ahead.  So far, I have tried to maintain some dignity.  Why in the world do I have to explain WHY I would like to keep the overstuffed song notebook that hold all of the music my mother and dad sand through the years of their ministry,  I tend to resent my friends, family (ie: anybody) telling me I don't need it.....never will need it.....probably won't ever look at it again.....so I might as well throw it away!  Lord......as You have previously witnessed, I am not capable of too much right now.  So, I will simply say to You....."Lord........Change me.  You know my heart.  You know my weakness.  You know how I need to clear out.  You know my need.  You know.  Boy, do You ever.  All I can say is  "Help!"  This is my need. 
Hmmm.....sounds like spring cleaning to me.  I know You are always in the business of getting out the unpleasantness and anger.  Each thing clogs our thinking.....giving the enemy the upper hand.  You and I have to keep this soul of mine in sparkling, working order.  Could we please work together to make this happen.  In all things, I pray and believe in the name of Jesus.  Name above all names, I give You my heart.....I live for You alone.....every breath I take ......every moment I'm awake.....This, dear One.....is my desire.  Amen.  

Lord.....dear One......I have to admit to You, OUT LOUD, that I am so ashamed for not writing.  Only a few times since my surgeries have I actually posted a prayer and with the blessings You have provided......that, in itself is pretty pathetic.  I am well.....and whole.  I am able to walk without limping.  I am able to do a days work, without any pain.....well, not quite yet!  I have put a lot of wear and tear on this 71 year old body.  You have, without any question, blessed me with a quick recovery time and I am so grateful.  Now, Lord.....for all You have provided, throughout the decision process, the preparation to move, the surgeries, the actual move, and the interim process for my recovery.....and the living arrangements for all of that time....I praise You for it all.  It seemed like too much rest.....too much peace......too much quiet.....but, You knew what my husband and I needed.  It was a perfect prescription.  Thank You, dear Lord.  And then, our recent move to South Carolina.  Our little apartment and my maneuvering 2000 sq. ft. of stuff into 1000.  Ha! Ha!  Lord.....You and I have gone around and around about this.  I have finally relented.  I have finally let go.  Don't put my face on any one's radar.  If they wanted anything I had.....I have probably given it away.....or I'm in the process of doing so!  You know how that bothers me.  I hate giving something away......even selling it....and then want it the next week.  Lord......how well You know me.  I have had the same issues for years.  I ask and ask for You to fix things.  I feel better because I ask You.  A few months down the road, I'm asking again.....for the same thing to be taken off of me.  Is that my fault?  Sadly.....I surrender to You that it is.  I have to bear some responsibility.  I have to stop the madness.  I have to not buy because it's on "sale".  I have to walk by something at a yard sale to put on my wall.....that Grandma Janacek used to use when she cooked.  (And, now.....have to get rid of.  No place to hang it!)  Help me let go. I love stuff.  I love the feeling of nostalgia that sweeps over me when I see things we used to have at home.  Whether, it would be the old crank up record player......or the potato peeler like the one my grandma used.  I feel hopeless.  People are dying.  Crying over loved ones lost.  Losing their homes from floods as I speak to You right now.....and I am moaning over this stupid stuff.  Forgive me for being so self absorbed.  Help me to be the individual You need me to be.  Even if I don't want to be.  The other evening, as we walked into our "new home".......I walked over to the piano.  I hadn't seen any of my stuff for months.....and I felt "at home" immediately. (By the way, Lord......I really appreciate You doing that for me!"  I opened the cover to the keyboard and put my fingers on the keys.  I hit an F.  I hit an A.  I hit a C. And, another A.  "Hmmm", I thought, "I will serve thee".  "No!", I thought again.  We just retired.  I'd like to stay out of trouble for awhile.  I'll hole up in my little house.....nobody can get to me here!"  I know, I know, Lord.  That is not the kind of servant You want me to be.  Even, retired.  I can tell You one thing!  Just sitting here, trying to compose a letter to You that makes some kind of sense......I feel pretty foolish.  Why would I turn my back on all You have done for me......and given to me?  
As per usual.....I end up saying, "I'm sorry for doubting You, Lord".......and do what I should do.  I praise and thank You for making things clear......again.
For all I have rambled on and on about.  For all I have ask  You to forgive.  For all I have asked that You would help me do better with......I ask all in the name and will of Jesus Christ.  To God be the glory .......great things He hath done.  Amen and amen.

Is it time, Lord?  Are my words ready for retrieval?  I am so thankful for what You have allowed in my life.  All ingested, spiritually speaking, shows how far I have come......or how You have tended to my heart as others prayed for me.  I couldn't seem to put my words together as You were healing me.  I couldn't seem to manage a prayer.  I am grateful that You took....."Help me, Jesus" to mean......exactly what the words implied.  You came.  You held me.  You gave wisdom and understanding to my Doctor and his attendants.  You kept me safe while they worked.  I am being given back the gift of writing to You.........and  I do thank You for allowing this one more time. The ability to speak to You in my heart and mind are a blessing, Lord......and no one appreciates it more than I do.....but, this form of connecting with You......well, it  gives me an edge.  It makes me feel closer to You, Lord.  I need it.  In all of the life decisions that have been made......or are about to be made.....Your plan for us is first and foremost.  We......(I) thank You for the "respite" You have given us in all of this drama that we call living.  You have taken what we both thought was the "right thing to do".......coupled with some of our wishes and hopes and the issues that needed to be solved......and did all of that with a phone call.  How you handle what You do in my little world.....and take care of everyone else that needs Your intervention, makes my head spin. I am thankful for my very faithful husband who has eased my suffering with His constant care for me.  I think of the souls who handle their issues without someone to help.....and I realize I am blessed beyond measure.  Perhaps, shaken down, and a little dizzy.......but blessed all the same.  So many need You......the list is never ending.  All we do is cross things off as we go, and add to it .....again and again.  I am in need of Your touch all the time.  I need Your wisdom all the time......I make the dumbest choices at times...just to get a laugh or a quick fix.  I guess that just shows how very human I am.  My family......well, Lord.....sometimes they need for me to have an answer.....the answer.  And, Lord.....You know I do not.  Any wisdom I have comes from You.  I pray I can be accepting of that.  Strength comes from seeking You.....finding You and then searching each day for the strength to follow Your plan for us.  Each of us has that responsibility.  For those of us that are Your followers.....I pray that even the words...."Help me, Jesus!" will do.  Sincerely spoken, I have no doubt that they will.  
Thank You, dear One, for listening to my heart thoughts.  I give them all to You and dream for a better day.  I speak all of them in the name of Jesus.....in whom, I believe is our coming King.  Amen.









For those of you interested to buy my book, "My Letters to God".....I ask that You would contact me on the Facebook site or buy it on the AMAZON.COM  site.  It is my hope that those that read it would realize that Jesus appreciates the fact that we talk to Him and gives us very often.....what our raggedy hearts need.  His attention.  Thank you so much. 

Dear One......This morning I come to You asking if You would be especially close to some friends of mine.  They have lost their precious wife.....mother.....friend.  No one ever is ready for this.  You can expect it......you can prepare for it.....you can talk of it, cry over the prospect, but, the word comes, and so often,  you immediately think of all you didn't do or say.  I opened a card last evening to write a "Thank You" note sent to us for our retirement.....as I looked at the signature, I saw my friend's name.  Lord, I think You know exactly how I felt.  Her personal words to us to wish us well, were thoughtful and precious.  Oh, Lord.  I wish I hadn't waited so long to write my regards.  Nothing changes that thought.  I fail over and over at this.  Yes.  I know, Lord.  My life has been a little uprooted and excuses distress me.  Judge Judy doesn't put up with them. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.  I have always aimed to temper my strengths and improve or obliterate the weaknesses. It is a job I don't particularly like to do because it is hard to do.  And, yes.....there's more.  I always told my Sunday School classes my heart.  Yes....that's right.  All of the unvarnished realities of my life.  I had told them that I'd  always prayed that You would help me to be a nice old lady.  To be honest, Lord....I have always thought that "I was" a nice lady.  Now I wonder if I am at all......even...... ever was.  That is sickening, Lord.  I hate to say it out loud to You.  Are you listening?  Or, are You tired of my moaning.  No. I am  serious, Lord......I'm not kidding.  If my mind is failing me and I need help, I want to be kind.  I think no one benefits if I am not  Christlike. So.......... I tell my girls about "the new plan" to get the other knee done.  The only response I wanted to hear was...."Oh, Mom.....Do you think you can handle this so close to the other one!"  or something like that.  No, Lord!  You heard it too.  "Now, Mom.....You have got to be nice this time."  Well....since I was under the influence of medication and not very willing to wait for attention.....I guess I was a little lippy.
Wonder how it would have gone over (?) if after a time.....I got what I wanted.....when I wanted.....and I smiled sweetly and said......"Oh, by the way, I had a book published and it has letters in it that I wrote to God......and uh......would you like to have one to read?"  And, her comment to me would be to  suggest I read my own book.....or worse.  Lord.....as You can see......I am sorry to be called out by my own kids.  I'm sorry You had to hear it. I'm sorry too, that it took me a "minute" to own it.  It allowed them to see that although I try to make You proud of me, I am a long way from being a paragon of virtue.  I'm not even sure what all that means, but, Lord.....I do want the smile of the SON on my life. Always.  Help me Jesus to be what You want me to be. This would be when I wonder if I will always be talking to You as a child.  I tend to think that if I post this prayer, I will lose all credibility. And, if I would...."I need You more."
My concern.....my hope......is that You know I do pray in the name of Jesus.....and I trust in You.  Amen.




I do have new copies of the second edition.  You can get my book by contacting me via facebook.....or you can order it on AMAZON.com.  I thank you. 

Isn't it interesting, Lord?  I can find myself in the midst of a busy day.....lots of people demanding my time.....overwhelming duties.......and I find myself creating dialog with You, wishing I could just sit down and write. Thank You for giving me that need, but, Lord.....there is one thing I'd like to change.  The enemy and his intention to keep me busy with all of the things that take my intention to talk to You for "another" time.  He did it yesterday and the day before.  No one understands like You do.  You are a friend beyond compare.  What amazes  me is that You will stop what You are doing when I need to speak to You.  And You listen.  But then, I think.....realistically, I hate bothering you with my piddly wants and what I think are needs. So often, the opinions  others wield over me and go against my inclinations, Lord......well, they do influence too often what I do.   As we get to this place in our lives where we have to depend on the kindness of others.....or not, is hard to handle.  So often we feel so indebted, it really is hard to know how You want us to reciprocate.....if it is even possible.  There are needs and desires in everyone's life.  Some just want better health.  Others......feel that just to have someone think they have worth.....Oh, Lord, I guess that is about the saddest.  You know my heart.  The inner workings and the aches and pains of it.  I pray, dear One, that I will never let You down.  I want to show You how I can be true to the  fact that You called me to be a disciple of Yours. When we left the parsonage the other day......I felt free, Lord.  I felt as if I had done the best for You that I could.  (I do realize, sadly, that my best.....is not enough for me.)  As I picked up my ipad and read the verse for the day, I was comforted by the words I saw.  From Hebrews 6:10, I saw....."God is not unjust;  He will not forget Your work and the love You have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them."  It happens so often.  When I feel "not good enough" , You take the time to show me what I need to see in Your word.  I'm getting used to this, Lord. I am grateful for your love to me.  Thank You for Your presence in my life.
I speak these words in the name of Jesus.  Amen. 

Good morning, dear One!  I have ached to write to You.  I have made up letters to You in my mind and heart.....but, I haven't actually been able to put anything together.  Today.....I have plugged in my "Hotspot" and I am going to get this done.  I am.  It is vital to my sanity today.  I am anxious to give You praise and thanks for putting together this plan for my life.....(which for all intent and purpose).....is our life.......(John's and mine).  I couldn't have thought of all of the nooks and crannies I have gone through.  You always leave a level of wonder.......a smidgen of a question.....an aura of peaceful hope.  And, it is in that place, I just try hard to lean back and depend on Your sustaining power to guide me into all the truth You have for me.  I have to admit, Lord.  I began to think that this whole scenario was a little odd.....even, out of sync with anyone else's thinking.  Who plans major surgery in the middle of a major change in one's life.  John's retirement, moving to a new place to live......in another state......packing up 50 some years of living......need I say more, Lord?  I am stunned at what You plan and how You do it with such little fanfare.  It's just "out there".  And, as I nodded "yes" to surgery, I thought....."No one would plan this but You, Lord!"  I do thank You for allowing me to have healed as nicely as I have plus working out all of the kinks that have fallen into Your  plan.   
Thank You, Father......for the years You have given us in the ministry.  We have been so blessed in the churches You have allowed us to pastor.  Thank You for giving my husband the wisdom, the energy, and the health to preach and teach Your story of salvation to so many people.....for so many years.  You created a man of honor and distinction, who lives and breathes a sermon every day he lives.  I am thankful that You insisted I share His life....and that he chose me to love 52 years ago.  I am blessed and loved and have nothing but praise and thanksgiving for all You have allowed in our lives.  (Smiling.....I say, the good, the bad and the ugly!)  
I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen.





As I have mentioned to all of you, before......I want to tell you that I appreciate your purchase of my book, "My Letters to God".  I have recently received the shipment of new books.  If you would care to order, you can order on AMAZON.COM.......or you can order from HOPEFREELANCING.COM    I want you to know I am honored by how many of you have purchased my book. scd
   

Father in Heaven......Hallowed be Thy Name......Thy kingdom come.....Thy will be done......on earth, as it is in Heaven.  Give us this day.....our daily bread.....and forgive us our debts.....as we forgive our debtors......and lead us not ......into temptation.....but, deliver us from evil......for Thine is the Kingdom.....and the power, and the glory......forever.  Amen

It is with great joy that I can write my heart thoughts to You......and You, dear One.....listen.....with bated breath......to my words.  I am forever grateful for the grace and strength......to be the instrument for You that I need to be.  I want forever to be the horn in the brass section......or the flute, in the wind section.  I can hardly see myself in the drum section.....but......I could be, if that is what You would like me to be.  Each note.....tempered with grace.  \

I am filled with thanksgiving and praise for You.  For health and strength.....love and a grateful heart.  "The End is Near"  is a sign you often see in a joke setting.  But, this is not a joke.  We are blessed to be the recipients of a lengthy ministry and are still living to tell the story!! Lord, it is only because of You and Your abiding and deep love.  The tools You allow us, as Your children to have, can get us through the most difficult times in our lives.  We are beyond blessed.  Favored.  Yes, that is a good word.  And, yet.....how do You figure that, Lord?  I am so UN-perfect.  And, I always wanted to be!  Perfect, that is!   Yet, You.....I would surmise....get a kick out of our constant attempt to be so.  I looked at my Son-in-law, David, last evening.....and said,  "I hate it when I turn out to be wrong!"  Too often.....I will make a statement.....or answer a query......with such fervor.....and turn out to be soooo wrong.  I don't like to be wrong.  I want to be right. Is it because I would love someone to say....."Just listen to Corrine.....she's always right!"   But, since I am Yours.....and have to strive for the unreachable......I have to tell You, Lord......I get tired of trying to be like You. Mostly because the older I get.....I remember things like I want them to be!  Whoa!  I can't believe I just said that, Lord.  But, since, I am trying to be honest....I have to admit, I wish I were not so human!  I love knowing that You take me as I am......clean me up.....and make me Yours.  A member of Your family.  To be in Your family makes me proud.  And, I guess that would be a "good  kind of proud".  I hope, dear One.....that my attempts at "being all You want me to be"  don't nauseate You.  I hope, I am still a promise.....a possibility.....a light for You,  in a dark world.  Lord, help me to be the individual You need me to be.....wherever I am.

Thank You, Lord.....for allowing to me to be "The Pastor's Wife"  for such a long time.  I praise You for that reality.  It has been a dream come true.....for me.  I thank You for giving me the tools in Your word to help me handle the sometimes terrible attitudes and spirit I ended up with after a particular encounter with someone "in the church".  The fact that You wave Your magic wand, and allow the gift of forgiveness to reign in my life.....after I have "blown my cool"......or listened to someone blow theirs about me or mine.  The web of lies the enemy uses to paralyze me afterwards......well, Lord......it's frightening how it can wreck my spirit and make me so miserable, no one wants to be near me.  How in the world You take that......and ask only that we say the words.  Lord.....and You  change my heart and spirit.  You are the miracle worker.   Thank You, dear One.....for doing that for me.....over and over and over.  I  love being the recipient of Your grace.

It has given me peace that passes all understanding.  I have loved serving You in this role I was given.  I thank You, Lord.

I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen

A second edition of my book, "My Letters to God" is at the printers now.  (same book, just a few changes)  You can order it from AMAZON.COM   or  from the hopefreelancing.com website.  I thank you so much for taking an interest in reading "My Letters to God".
 

Good morning, dear One.  Oh, my.  I have done it again.  I wait so long to write......to write out my thoughts to You.....literally and figuratively.....I just wait too long.  I wish I could think of something legitimate to blame it on, but, I can't.  It's the usual...lazy bones attitude.....too much on my plate.....waiting until I have "a mind to" or just, the usual "I'm not sure I want people to see this part of me" excuse.  Actually, Lord.....after all these prayers I've posted, there is not too much that could surprise them.  How about You, Lord......?  Have I surprised You lately?  I wonder.  Probably not.  I am unusually calm today and rather serene in my thoughts and plans to accomplish an amount of packing that surprises even me.  I'm not sure Lord.....but, I truly wonder if this "stuff" of mine multiplies over night.  I wake up and walk through a maze of boxes trying to get through to the next room.  I am thinking that I must go through some of these boxes again.....and purge a little more.  Lord.....You have helped me see so much of  "what I've saved forever and really don't need".....and that once I have decided it is "no longer of use to me"......I'll never think of it again.  I need that enforced in my mind, once again.  I'm beginning to fall back into the old way of packing.  "Once I get there, I can get rid of what I don't have room for".  Dear Lord.......You and I both know that the amount of boxes I'm amassing is ridiculous.  Where am I moving our possessions to?  A two-bedroom apartment.  No dining area.  No shed.  No garage.  No attic.  Just writing it out in black and white is scary......and actually, quite real.  I realize Lord, that my head is full of all the events about to come to fruition for us.  The time of being a Pastor and wife in the Wesleyan Church is coming to an end.  My description will now be ......former Pastor's wife.  And, yes....honestly, Lord......I have looked forward to this part of our life.  But, I will miss the calling that I felt called to as well as my husband.  I am grateful and thankful for the fact that You allowed me to do this job.  I thank You, Lord.....for giving me a voice.  For the talents that You provided and I gleaned so much from.  You gave me so much.  I ask that whatever comes for us in the next few months with this transition......that I, along with my love, will please You in what I say and in what I do.  See, Lord.....there's nothing earth-shaking in this prayer.  Actually, to anyone else.....it's probably a boring one.....or "corny" as someone just described the book I just published.  You know what, Lord.....to You, I say.....I love You, Lord.  I thank You for listening to the cries of my heart......and the whining of my very being.....when I am at the end of myself.  You are the God of my being.  Savior of mine......I need You.

I pray this prayer in the name of Jesus.  Amen. 

Once again, I invite you to think about purchasing the book I recently published of my letters.  The title:  "My Letters to God"

by S.Corrine Davis can be purchased at the Hopefreelancing website....if you click onto the store site.  It will take you through the buying process.  Or, you can click onto the AMAZON website.....if you type in the same title and/or my name....it will take you right through the buying process.  The second edition of the book is at  press right now.....and will be ready this week.  Thank you so much.

Lord....Now, You are well aware of my issues.  I certainly don't need to remind you.....but, You need to know that I am going to lose my mind if You do not rescue me.  I have years and years of things that I have hoarded (yes, I actually said it!).  I remember, so vividly, wanting something (nothing in particular), and being blessed by seeing "it" at a yard sale for practically nothing or having it given to me, free and clear.  Now, my "blessings" have turned into burdens and weights that are forcing me to decide something so difficult.  Getting rid of these blessings.....giving them to someone else...or throwing it out!!  These are heart rending decisions.  I love stuff.  I have always loved stuff.  Ribbons, laces, materials, old frames, new frames that look like old frames, boxes to put "stuff" in.......Oh, my....dear Lord!  No one needs this much stuff.  Help me to see that.  Help me to purge.  Help me to pack not one thing that I could buy at another thrift store for practically nothing.  I am allowing these material things to hamper me......and drag me down.  I am not going to let it happen.  What does that scripture say?  About the weights that stop us in our tracks?  Let me look it up, Lord.  Yeah.....I have it right here.  I would like for You to help me associate this verse with the dilemma I seem to have about this right now.  "Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin that so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.........." Hebrews 12:1  Oh, dear One....help me.  Even the things precious mothers, and grandmas, and special friends through out the years.......all of them have presented me with things they didn't really want to part with.  I almost feel like they're watching me appoint their things to the "Goodwill" and are disappointed in me.  Lord.....could you tell me.....Is there any hope for me?  Only You....right now.....can help me think!  I am about to drive my sweet daughter out of here.....because I want to hold onto things that I will not ever use.......or think about again.  The things I will use and cannot replace......I guess that would be where I need the wisdom.  Lord.  Seriously.  I am ashamed of these piddly requests.  There is such bedlam so many places.  Earthquakes....floods.....storms......riots......killings.....(right down the road, drug related!)  And, oh my!  I am upset about getting rid of a box of old frames and pieces of laces and ribbons.  Knick-knacks and paddy whacks!  I am groaning about things that mean very little in the scheme of life and death.  The worries about "where to move" and "when to move"...are sort of being decided without my interference.  Knee surgeries and rehabilitation sort of take precedence.  Walking is important, Lord.....and the closer I get to not being able to......is scary.  When John said the other day....."Hey, hon......want me to go get that cane out of my office and bring it over?" and my response being......"Shoot, I don't need a cane......I need a walker!!"........Well, Lord......that whole exchange gave me a real head's up!  I am nervous about the whole thing.....but, because of the timing......and the turn of events......I honestly feel that You are running the show.  Thank You, Father.  I will wait on You.....as I have been.....and believe that "all things do work together for my good".  I have to admit though, seeing the reality is a hard thing.  
For all I do not understand......yet, still pray for Your will to be done........well, Lord......I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen.




For those of you who may be interested in purchasing one of my books......Click onto the hopefreelancing.com website and click onto "store".  It will take you through the buying process.  Or.....you can get on AMAZON.COM and type in "My Letters to God" or my name, S.Corrine Davis.  The book will come onto the screen and you can order soft cover or ebook or kindle.  Thank you ahead of time for purchasing my book.  This has been done for God's glory.....not mine.

I know it, Lord........every time, I am almost positive You are tugging at my arm.....(or the back of my neck).....to sit down and write to You.  Oh my word, Lord.....today I feel as if I will burst.  I have to tell You how I feel. And, why I feel that way.  And, what You can do for me when nothing changes.....IF.......nothing changes.  John and I are just about at the end of our time in the pastorate.  It is a place that I was always pretty comfortable with.  I always knew that I would be a Pastor's wife.  I always knew that people would be watching......judging......comparing......gossiping......just to name a few words that describe my chosen profession.  Along with You....since I was born a child of the pastorate.....I knew what was coming.  I have found, dear One......that even though the road can be difficult, I have always found comfort in the fact that You chose me to fulfill this place.  Thank You for allowing the Pastor You chose, too.....to have the girl he wanted in his life.  It was, all You.  I thank You and praise You for the journey You prepared for us right from the beginning.  I remember each and every place.  I remember...."the call".  I remember the day of the "move".....and all of the "imagined" worries and how You allayed all of those fears.  I remember the girls, still not teenagers yet.....wondering if the next place we would move, would have "Cocoa Puffs" at the grocery store.  (Lord, I am wondering if the next place we move will have "my" version of "Cocoa Puffs."  )   And, of course, You know exactly what I mean!
As we leave here.....I wonder..... "Have I Done My Best for Jesus?"  So many of my questions when we came......still have not been answered.  So many answers to the "issues" people struggle with....well, honestly Lord......I really thought with a few verses of scripture.....wagging of a finger......and Your divine touch......I honestly thought, Lord.....that would be the winning ticket in this race we are in.  It hasn't been.  People are stubborn.  They don't want to be construed in any way as "wrong".  They want their way to do things.....to be everybody's way to do things.  If not.....it's "Hit the road, Jack......and don'cha come back no more, no more.....!"  Father in heaven......I have seen people come.  I have seen people go.  I have seen people come back.......and I have seen people leave again.  I wish......Oh, Lord....how I wish we could have made people happy enough to stay and fight for the church and the havoc that Satan presents on a regular basis.  It is through "Your people", Lord....they (and they don't seem to ingest this information) are the ones that grow a church.  Lord,  I know that folks really believe the opposite is true.  If people engage each other.....love each other as they love themselves......it is a combination that can't lose.  I remember so clearly how my own preacher father felt at a loss....at what to do with people.  He felt incompetent, the later years of his ministry, because of how he was treated not only by the Church but by the people who claim to love You.  Lord.....I grieved over that issue so long.  I blamed You.  I had to blame someone, I thought.  The fault?  I don't even know any more.  It doesn't matter.  I do know that he fulfilled his call to You, dear One.  He was faithful to Your calling for him.  As I peruse the corners of my mind to be mindful of my job and how I performed it......I feel clear.  Lord, I will not let the enemy of our souls win this one.  He can kiss my foot.  It's closest to him......since he's down there with the sneaky snakes of the world.......I am sorry to be so hateful......but, that is one created being that deserves to be despised.  
I remember, so vividly, that thinking that the whole job should be pretty easy.  If folks would just believe that You provide the POWER  to save us........and that You provide the POWER to let us be "forgivers"......and that You provide the POWER to help us choose love to envelope people who come to us that we really don't care too much for. (Oooo....It's often true.....but, not said aloud!)
I don't believe that they REALLY believe You Can Do That For Us!!  I was amazed when I tried forgiving with "Your power".  No diet.  No pain.  Just, a choice. It honestly was the easiest thing I had ever done.  And, Lord....I had suffered with that "They're jerks!  I can't stand them.  Forgive them?  For what?  I AM NOT THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO FORGIVE!!  Didn't You hear me, Lord?  They are jerks!"  Yeah......that's some of my side of the dialog You and I had, Lord!  I'm sure You remember.  I wasn't even sure I meant what I was saying to You.  I just believed that "IF I SAID THE WORDS.....YOU WOULD PROVIDE THE POWER!!  I know You remember the outcome.  And, my relief!!  I literally felt a weight lift off of me.  It was real.  Sooo, Lord...... I just assumed that EVERYBODY would be tickled pink to add this to their list of accomplishments (spiritually speaking).  And, to my amazement.....very few even want to entertain the idea that "they" should forgive.  They don't want it this way. They don't want to forgive.  They want to keep it going  forever, it seems.  Oh Lord.  What will it take?  When will You move?  Will it hurt?  Father, for Your will to be done......and us to walk up to the gate.....and for us to be ushered into Your presence......something has to change.  Excuses will not be an option.
Your way, Lord......and Your will.  I ask in Jesus name......amen.

I'm home now.  I'm sitting on my couch......it is a very comfortable couch.  I am about to write......for the third time......a prayer that will post.  This is the third one.  I, of course, think that You do not want everyone to know my business.  I like to share, Lord.  I like for people to know that even though we have flaws that always seem to plague us ( and those around us)......and even though we pray and believe......and that even though we are still pretty raggedy Christians.......we depend on You to save us. I've needed to write for so long.  It's probably why I have felt a little "set aside" by You.  And, of course, it is always my fault. I truly know that.   After a daughter said to me yesterday as we were driving home to Delaware....."What do You mean, you haven't prayed about it!?"  I began to back peddle a bit.  As I began to think of the reasons why I haven't really spent any time in intercessory prayer about this "move"......I thought, "Jeepers, creepers!  I'm an idiot!"  I said to myself.....Uh, I guess one reason is John and the kids are praying.  He has always made the big decisions on "When it's time to move and  where we will move to."  I felt it was always "His and God's business".  I mostly had to get my heart and mind to agree. As for our children,  I also figured that their prayers would be really sincerely prayed......otherwise we'd be visiting them two or three months out of the year......eating their food, watching their tv, calling on their phone, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.  I figure I'm pretty funny, Lord.  I just crack myself up.  Actually, dear One, I'm a little ashamed she had to snap the reins a bit.  Here I am.  Just published "My Letters to God" and walk around like this big prayer warrior for You......and I haven't prayed about this huge move we are about to make.  Yes.....I have SOS'ed some prayers.....I've asked others to pray......I've dreamed some prayers....but, haven't actually thought about saying....."Lord, I'd like to have a certain kind of house in Timbuktu, USA and I'd like to have this and this and this in it..... and....... surrounding it.  Forgive me, Lord for this unrealistic approach to this seemingly huge dilemma.  Help me to pray the right words.  Words that a man may not understand but YOU do.  The sounds that express what I want.....or think I want......and the needs that have to be met. I need for the "rivers in the desert" mantra.....and the "roadways in the wilderness" to be as plain to John and I as we have ever known before.  We are Your servants.  You chose us.  You have given us more than we could ever dream.  And.....we are blessed to be called Your children.  I am still at Your mercy, Lord.  I depend on You to give us what You deem necessary.  I want to know that  what You have done and where You have placed us is in Your plan.  When I am placing the silverware in the drawer of my "new" kitchen and making the bed for the first night in our "new " home, that You are in control.  You know what the weather will be like.  You will know how far away the closest "Walmart" is.  I believe in You, Lord.  I trust You.  Many times when we were getting ready to make a move, I would find myself singing or quoting the song that my Grandma Candel would have me play for her all the time.  I was just a little kid, nine or ten, I guess. I'd play and she'd sing..... "I'll go where You want me to go, dear Lord......over mountain, or plain, or sea........I'll say what You want me to say, dear Lord.....I'll be what You want me to be."   There it is, Lord.  That.....I think is the most important prayer I could pray.  Before I started writing this prayer today.....I read from Joshua 2:1.  In "MY" version of the scripture, it says......."Now then, you and yours.....get ready to cross the Jordan river into the land I am about to give you." 
Now, in all I have said, asked and given You to think about, Lord.....I do it all in the name of Jesus.....and always, Your will.  Amen.



For those of you who might be interested in purchasing "My Letters to God"  you can access the publishers website:  www.hopefreelancing.com  and click on "store" and it will take you through the buying process.......or go to AMAZON.com and do the same.  Remarkably, when you put the letters "S.Corrine Davis" in or "My Letters to God"......it comes up.  I look at it all the time.  After I bought about 10 copies to send to myself, I finally quit.  (No, I didn"t!) I still cannot believe it.  Thank you so much.

                    

Just a heads-up friends.......This is a long one!                   

Lord.....I wish I could explain how I feel.  I know that You know.  I'd just love to be able to put it into words.  I. I. I.  That's seems to be all I ever talk about.  Do You get annoyed with it?  Jeepers.....I'd like to think that You don't.  Mainly because I can't do this with people.  No one wants to listen as long as I can drone on.....not really.  I do wish, Lord.....at my age, I still wasn't so concerned about how "I" am viewed by others.  Why is that?  Help me, Jesus, to be the example for You that you expected all along that I could be.  And, then.....help me to be contented with that.  
I think of all the years I have written to You with a pen and paper.  I know by the way "other's" react when they hear it.....especially gentlemen.  Even women. (They are a little kinder!)  I remember precisely when I bought a really pretty lavender writing pen.  The tip was fine and the ink was black.....(my favorite) and a lavender and white  composition book.  It was all very feminine and pretty.  The reason I decided to give  it to her, was for her to put her thoughts and/or prayers down on paper to give herself an outlet.
She had just found out her husband of half a century had been unfaithful to her......and the worst part of it was, it  couldn't be shoved under a rug anymore.  It was worthy of prison time.  All of her dreams and hopes for a continued happy life were smashed.  Lord, I remember her first words to me......"Don't cry for me if you hear I have died because there are things that are worse than death."  O dear Jesus......Savior of all of us......why do these horrible events ever have to happen?  Why do Your people have to experience some of the most horrendous experiences one can't even imagine.  I remember reading, "Dorie.  The Girl Nobody Loved" by Dorie Van Stone.  After I read that book, I remember walking into my laundry room, doing the wash, and actually being so disgusted with You.  I said aloud to You, as I rammed clothes into the dryer...."Why in the world didn't You rescue her, Lord?  Why did You allow her to have to live so alone......and in such degradation?
I don't understand.  I hate it for her.  I am sick because You allowed this."  And, on and on I went.....talking to You like You couldn't pound me into the ground with one look.  I remember that You ignored my insolence and answered me pretty quickly.  I didn't like the answer much, but accepted it.  Where it came from, I cannot remember.  But, I  KNEW  IT  WAS  FROM  YOU!!!  No doubts.  Even though I think it is the hardest thing to overcome from both sides of the spectrum.....There has to be SOMEBODY that can show SOMEBODY else how horrible things can and are overcome by belief in You and what YOU can do in a life of someone so terribly abused.  Sometimes mere words in a book will not work....whether they are Your words or not.  People have to see a story that relates to them, personally. Sometimes it clicks for them and then; regrettably, sometimes it doesn't.  I wish, Dear Lord, I had learned all the lessons You have tried to teach me the first time.  I do, though, appreciate the fact that You kept bringing "my issue" back to me therein allowing me the privilege of having peace in my own soul.  I know, I can be stubborn.  And, it seems I always have to have a picture drawn for me.  I guess what amazes me is that You take time to let that happen for me.  I thank You, Lord.....for being aware all the time of how I learn.....and being so gracious in the waiting.  
As I stated, a long while back.....I thought my gift would be received with a sigh of relief.  It was received with.....almost a question mark? and "Why would you give me this?" look.  As far as I know.....she never wrote a word of her saga in that book.
  It was used for the various things a person does in a day.....or needs at the store.  It doesn't matter, Jesus. She had You, and still does.  You understand the cries of a servant......even when I don't understand all of the reasons why or why not!!
Lord.....I know that no one understands like You do.  I believe it.  I believe.  And, Lord, for future intent.....I believe it most of the time.  There are days I don't feel alone.  There are days I feel the enemy is running the show of my life.  Those are the days I will cling to the old rugged cross for dear life.....because, with You, it is.  
'Jesus, lover of my soul....let me to thy bosom fly'.....because that is where I get the most restful sleep.  In  Your name I pray this prayer.  Amen.

This is a day I have hoped for ........well, probably for a little over a  year now.  You know me so well, Lord.  After I finally make a decision......I like to see an end result or a plan to make it so, pretty quickly. Whether it's wallpapering a room.....redecorating an area in our home that I have disliked for a long time, or buying something I've wanted.  I like instant results.  In the day of our computer technologies, the events are loaded and downloaded make things quite often done in hours .....even minutes.  Ordering a meal, being served, eating it and leaving the establishment is often done within one hour.  Even quicker at a fast-food restaurant.  Having to wait for days......being put off.......for various and sundry reasons.....trying to be patient .....is not what I do well. Perhaps, no one really does.  Yet, often we have to fake being calm and serene through it all.  I guess it is the thing You would have me do.  It is a wonderful thing when you make a decision to give us surprises.  Some people enjoy a new child.....or a car they have wanted.....or a letter or phone call giving an answer they  have long prayed for.  For me, Lord......I now am the recipient of a book that has my name on the cover.  It is literally unreal to me that this is a reality.  The pages bare my heart thoughts.  The prayers are from my heart to Yours, Lord.  I am wondering as usual if I have done the right thing.....but, I will leave it with You.  There's been more than one time, I was sure You were doing the leading and the directing.  I found later, after a time, that I wasn't so sure at all.  Lord, all I know is it seemed like it was being orchestrated by You, dear One.  I pray and ask with all sincerity that You would give this book the review that it deserves.  It's all about Your name and Your glory.  It's all about the fact that You, Lord, listen to the cries of our hearts.  You decipher our feelings into words that can be understood to the point of reference that we can understand.  There are so many times I start talking to You.....just throwing words around trying to see how I really am feeling.....and You turn it into a prayer.  I cannot continue (and won't)to try to figure out what it is I want anymore.....or think I need.  I do confess I love knowing what is going to happen.....and what I think I will do about it.  And yet, there is a part of not knowing that I find so exciting.  Lord, I pray that You would continue to be patient when I struggle with this.  I tend to struggle especially when friends and family query me about things I  want to leave with You......and the resultant comments that sometimes come leave me feeling a little prickly.  I know I have given You permission to run the show of my life.  I have confidence that You will do what is best for me and mine.  I guess, too, I have another concern.  Take it and bear it for me.  I am looked at often, as a little juvenile.  Taking my little prayers to You....whining and complaining as I write.  I can't apologize for what I feel is my right to do.  Leaving You to the messes I make and the trouble I can stir up is not fair......but, it is what You do best.  I praise You for that.  I thank You for that.  And.....I sure do love You......knowing that I am Your child.  You are my strong tower.
I ask and speak all in the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.

To order a book or download on Kindle.....
www.hopefreelancing.com    Click on "store"  and it will take you through the process.

AMAZON.COM     Type in "S.Corrine Davis" and it will come up and take you through the process.  or.... "My Letters to God" .

I'm always wondering, Lord.  I'm always wondering if You are listening.....ie: reading or paying attention to me.  Should I?  Shouldn't I?  Can I? Can't I?  Is this prayer worthy?  Is it just foolishness?  Am I significant?  Or....incidental?  Will anything change if I don't pray?  What are the ramifications for me and mine if I don't?  I haven't struggled very much.....should I expect some kind of fall-out for years of ease?  A complete breakdown of all I have known and loved?  Time to pack it in?  Cut my losses and run away.  Whether physically, or spiritually.....I am in a funk.  Sometimes, as I have read about Elijah and the emotional high he must have experienced  from his victory, I have thought......"You know, Lord.....that is so ridiculous....!  How could this man who just called down the fire of heaven, and witnessed the actual experience showing the mightiness of his God.....just, disintegrate all of it with his emotionless  psyche and moan about his plight? For pete sake!  What plight?  
     Oh, brother!  Lord Jesus......Yes, here I am.  Bowed low as I can be in my spirit......wondering what is next. You know the shape of my old knees. ( The last time I got down to get something underneath the bed......I thought......"Shoot!  I might as well clean while I'm down here.")  I guess You would remember my silly thoughts.  Are You smiling......or should  I keep my distance awhile longer?  Actually, Lord,  I think I have kept my distance long enough.  My constant prayer:  Should I keep posting prayers? Honestly, it is so hard to do.  I really want to quit.  I need Your guidance.  And, I will honestly pay attention to what You lead.
  Keeping Elijah in mind, though, Lord......I do understand this poor man.  I am not mincing words either.  It is a flaw inflicted on some that many folks do not understand. I found recently as I perused "my" plight to my husband....... and, when said husband started singing (in jest) "No one understands like Jesus.......He's a friend beyond compare ......Meet Him at the throne of mercy....."   I really wanted to silence him (with a punch)....even though I knew he had listened to my pleas and did understand my heart.....there it was...... once again..... the same old, same old.  I know, I know!  You saw me being formed in my mother's womb and you decided I was worthy and fit to be born.....I still and probably will always wish for something else.   I do wish I could really let that go.  Maybe it is just a choice.  I have always believed it was innate.  Whatever it is, sometimes I feel it has me by the throat......threatening to keep me quiet forever. Perhaps you have another idea.  Lord?  I think I will be quiet.  I think, since I have prayed.....I will stop talking and just wait......yes, You heard me right.  I will wait until you shove me through whatever open door You have for me.  
     So, I do pray.....whatever it is I have prayed for (and I know that within the groaning of my spirit You KNOW what that is.....) the name and purpose of Jesus Christ.
     Amen.

Okay, Lord.  It's been too long since I posted a prayer on my blog.  I know that You know, don't You, that I've sort of been waiting for the "book" to become a reality.  I'm anxious to hold it in my hands and thank You for what You have given.  I've done it in my heart and mind......knowing that if it wasn't for the inspiration of writing to You that this has happened, it just is too much to believe.  I can do that in my heart and mind, because I have that much belief in what You can do.....and in what You allow.  I trust that all will be done to honor and glorify You when it finally is a reality!
Now, since I still wait, pressing thoughts and concerns plague me almost on a continual basis.  I talk of them to those who can give me spiritual guidance.....but, I fear that is not the answer for me.  I need to believe in the guidance that You can sustain me with.  For the incidents of my life where I have tried to do "the right thing" does not always turn out well for me.  I get too upset.  I say things that my mind has been mulling over. (That is never good.)  Lord, You better be thinking of another way to keep my thoughts silent.  Muzzling me seems to be one way.....but, I still would be making noise.  The deafening of my silence should be music to Your ears, dear One.  I cannot allow my feelings in or about any situation come out of my mouth.  Well, not unless I know You are directing the "orchestra".  I am so tired of trying to say the right thing......and then, I mess it up.  I suppose I could think of a better word, but, why should I make it look and sound better than it really is.  Mess.  It's not pretty......and,  so often, when I try to "fix" any  so-called dilemma, I quake after because of the fall out.  Jesus, even after my apologies have been made......and I grieve and sorrow over my words spoken......what can I do?  I have dealt with the "forgiveness" issue of being hurt by another....whether or not they were even aware of it.....I have dealt with it.  I have allowed Your precious Holy Spirit to lift me to a level of "no contest". I have no recourse.  I cannot usually ever forgive on my own.  I want to hurt someone as much as they have hurt me.  (I hate to say it like that.....it sounds so cruel.  Yet, it's almost a natural bent in me to want to punch someone in the jaw verbally).  I love it when I allow You to take that urge away and replace it with Your spirit filled peace.......and You do it.  It's wonderful when I can look back (think back) and can sing...."All is calm......All is bright."  But......and it seems like there always is a "but" in my prayers.......isn't there?  I wish You would tell me what to do when I am not forgiven for what has been perceived as unkind, unnecessary, or  inflammatory.   You know what, Lord?  I don't even know what the correct words are to use in this particular request.  Help me Lord to think as You would.  I do worry about what other folks think about me when they don't know all the facts.  Help me to truly NOT grieve about that part.  Help me to see things as You do.  I need to lay the sorrow to rest.  I need to allow You to give me a peace that I absolutely do not understand for this question.  Allow me once more to ask it in a different way.....(so You really understand me!  Sorry, Lord.)   "How do I move on into a quiet peacefulness after it is clear to me that I will never be forgiven for words I have spoken or written..... (perhaps for words I even thought!)?  This is my plea.  Jesus, Savior of my world.....help me see Your way.  " I need no other argument.....I need no other plea......It is enough that Jesus died......and that He died for me! "   Is it that easy, dear One?  Lead me into the truth I need to know...show me.  I am Your servant.  I need You.
All this, and more tomorrow.....I bring to You, speaking the name and will of Jesus.  Amen.