As I think about the events of the week....I look at this verse for the day I see in front of me from I Peter 5:10.  Lord, is the NLT version what You intended?  Is it necessary for us to suffer as a rule ........ to "make it"?  Is this a requirement?  Do You expect us to "grin and bear it" for the lot of it?  How do we diffuse the anger and sadness that ensues after a tragedy?  How do we believe that "all things work together for our good" when we watch the enduring injuries some suffer throughout their life.....even doing our best to wear their pain as much as we can if we are blessed to have escaped some of the carnage other's experience.  How can we help?  How can we understand what seemingly cannot be understood?  Jesus.....Savior of the world.....I am blessed and I praise You for the safety I have been provided throughout my days.  I just flew through the skies from Philadelphia to Detroit to Indianapolis a few days ago.  A miracle to behold.  How in the world does that work?  You have provided the absolutely unbelievable conveniences for us as Your creations.  I have been the beneficiary of so much blessing.  I do not take it for granted.  But, You know what, Lord?  I believe I do on occasion.  I guess I am not alone.  All of us, have a tendency to.....until a fateful phone call or a doorbell brings an unwanted bit of news.  Often, Lord....I find myself slightly unsettled knowing that life as I know it could change very quickly.  So.....getting back to my original questions.....how do I speak about what we have experienced as a country?  With grace?  With the tenets of the scriptures such as the verse I referred to. The words from the NLT say to any of us who read it...."In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus.  So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation."  Lord, verse after verse after verse, tells us similar information.  We have believed for a long time that Your word is a divine tool You have given to us for guiding us into all of Your truth.  Now, understandably, I don't comprehend a good bit of it.  So many of us see Your "truth" differently.  And, of course, we tend to believe our way of thinking is "the right way".......(Who?  Me?)  I have learned along the way to listen to other's.  You lead us "into all truth"......I believe that.....and how I understand is up to You. My soul looks to You, Lord.....from where ALL I should understand and know and discuss.....comes from. 
I will listen.  I will believe that You are not a masochist.  I believe it does not give You pleasure to see us suffer....scrambling to make sense out of what has happened to us and struggling to find a new normal in our lives. 
I am waiting patiently to welcome a new grandson into our family.  He will be welcomed with love and kisses and a mother and dad and sister that are waiting anxiously for him.
Our hearts are blessed, Lord....to just be alive today....and to be able to breathe and enjoy the blessings we have.....no matter how little or how many! 
Help me not to let You down.  Someone may need me.  Help me to be Your instrument.  On the highways and byways, You need us to be mindful of the needs we can fulfil for another.  Give me wisdom.....just Yours, Lord.  And....Your strength to perform any duty You have for me.
I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Dear One......You are the sunshine of my life.  You make the days worth living.  You provide my soul with the nourishment that I need and You give me peace in the midst of storms that threaten to take me out.  I am so grateful for the power of prayer......yet, just being able to tell You the inner turmoil that I struggle with, makes me feel a little more freedom.  I am filled with the memories of the sadness's of the past....and how, even as I peruse them in my mind, I can see how You worked through them to give me peace and strength.....and bring glory to Your own self.  I do thank You that after I have given my soul thoughts to You and even perhaps, a vow to do better, You give me peace, after getting it out of my system.  It also turns out that after a time, sometimes years, I look back and am reminded that the burden I bore and then gave to You......was indeed, attended to, by You, and forgotten by me.  I feel that You have performed so many of those kinds of miracles in my life, I could never begin to say "thank You" enough.  That's exactly what they are to me.  Miracles.  Who in the world wants to hang onto the sadness  and past sorrows and moan about them all over again.  I remembered that fact the other day as I was speaking with a relative about an event that had happened in my life.  Lord, You have healed me in such a divine manner, and  the details so fuzzy, I couldn't even tell the story!  Now, Lord.....those are the miracles that unless someone tries it, they don't believe it can happen.  So many of my "Lord, Change Me!" experiences have given that to me.  Evelyn Christenson's book made me see that You are the One that does the "changing part" for us....after we have relinquished our stubborn behavior to You.  I pray, Father, that those who sat under my tutelage in those classes, will one day see that miraculousness of how You do that for us.
After all of the years and classes I taught, I think only one person, no.....two, I think, ever came to me and told me of victory that they received by trying that technique in their lives.  I still love it.....I still live by it.....even though, I usually feel that I am NOT the one that needs to change....! ( Sorry, Lord.)  But, I know that, You, once given the task to take over for me....... show me what I need to do again. And again.  And, again! 
The happenings of the week have pushed and shoved my anxiety level to the top.  I did my best to turn over to You the areas I can do nothing about. The phone calls, the devotionals I studied, the "plan of action" I should move on.....all took my effort.  Guess what, Lord......?  I can't lose an ounce of weight riding my bike while I am eating cherry pie ala mode! (No one would believe I did that, would they?)  Like I said, these things took "my effort" but , what I couldn't say is,  they took my "best" effort.  You can do things for us.....shove us to move and make changes.....but, You have to stand back and watch, shake Your head in amazement at how dense we can be.  In what ever journey I am on, Lord......physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.......I can accomplish nothing of worth, unless my heart is truly cooperating with You.  Give me Your strength, Lord.  Only You can give me the direction I need.....and , I will faithfully serve, to the best effort I can give.  
In Your name I pray......Amen.  

Sometimes I wonder, Lord, if doing this blog is doing a disservice to You.  Putting my prayers on "paper" or a computer screen is perhaps showing a side to me no one really understands.......or prompts replies as to how I dare be so bold to write "that" to You.  How dare I talk to the King of Glory in such an irreverent way?  I speak as I would to One who loves me as no one else could ever......One who sees the flaws and failures as a step to loving You more than I believed I ever could.  These letters are the cries of a heavy and forlorn heart at times.  Other times, they are filled with complaints and whining that no one else would care to listen to.  But.....Lord.....sometimes I find I don't write enough.  This particular letter is the only one I have written this week.  I need to re-navigate my thoughts.  And, I will, dear One.  Each day as I read from Your Word, I preface the words with......."Help me understand!.......Show me how to live.......What do I need to change?  Give me Your power, and Your empathy."  In the times when sorrow overwhelms.....  Lord, when our hearts are depleted, You can come in Your quiet presence and fill us with joy unspeakable......glory that is unexplainable ......and peace, that passes all understanding.  It is amazing to me how You can supply what we need, when we need it. 
You know there are days when I look at the scripture lesson......or a devotional that I would ordinarily love......and I just close the book.  Why?  Because I'm weak or lax? Tired of trying and failing? Spiritually dragging?  Maybe I am.  Maybe I am just worn out.  Maybe I just need a little more sleep.  But, don't worry, Lord....I think You know, above all, that I am humanly inept at times.  I pray that You would preside over my being, in the moments I wander off.   I plead the blood of the Lamb that You would help me double bolt the back door of my heart.  I don't need satan pushing his way in when I am having a weak moment.  He is ever-so fervent in watching us letting down our guard.  Lord, give me the ammunition for battle that I will be needing, just when I need to fight!  I'd love to store it up......but, You and I both know I'd probably put it somewhere , and then, never be able to find it when I need it!  (Story of my life!) 
Jesus, use me.  Fill me.  Try me.....and find any thing that makes You sad.  Show me, Lord......so I can repair it.....quickly. 
"There is a Fountain.....Who is the King......Victorious Warrior.....and Lord, of everything.......My Rock, My Shelter, My very own......Blessed Redeemer, Who reigns upon the THRONE."  The song, Lord, "Who Can Satisfy My Soul"......is such a blessing.   Because You, Lord......are all of that and more.  All I need I find in You.
Thank You, Father.  In Jesus Name......Amen.

Thank you, Father.  Thank you for giving us a plan to follow.  Thank you for giving us a wonderful example to express Your love to us.  After seeing the depiction of Your words to us from the presentation of "The Bible",  I am stunned at the realization of how deeply You love us.  Seeing the suffering.....and  the sacrifice  made is not for the faint of heart.  Where in the world did the idea that being a Christian is for weaklings?  I am amazed at the tenacity of the men and women who were determined to follow You and spread the gospel as they understood it to all who would listen. 
Lord, as I watched so many being terrorized.....and how lost they must have felt when Jesus left their presence.....I don't know if I would have made You proud at all.  The "under-the-bed and cover my head" position is the one that seems closer to my reaction.  Thank You for the impact You had on Paul.  He was changed by his encounter with You.  It must have been powerful to see the difference. 
Lord, as our choir presented the cantata yesterday, I praise You for making the words and the music come to life.  After so many ill - sounding practices...... there were so many of us touched by Your presence as we sang.  Knowing You take us just as we are.....broken, wounded, empty, lost.......each one of us You mend, and heal, fill and find.  No one can does that job like You do.  No one.
Lord,  empower me to be a better disciple for You.  One that does not draw away from  the confrontations with those who do not believe in You.....but, I ask for the patience and kind heart that never gives up and always believes there is hope while there is life. 
Thank You for the excitement that comes from being Your child......and seeing how a life can be changed.  From dark to light......it is amazing how You can love us into being all You planned for us to be. 
Your grace is enough.  Even when I doubt.....and falter.  I know my Redeemer lives.....in me and through me.
In Jesus name I pray.  Amen.