Lord, I wasn't sure I would write about my Mother-in-law today...I was going to wait a little bit to tell You how I feel....and to be honest with You, I'm not sure right now, how I feel. I walked
into her room there at the nursing facility, and saw the form of my husband's mother , I guess
it was two days ago. She's not there though. I've spoken to her and I see no flicker in her
countenance that she hears me or even cares that I am there. It's really too late for all of that
now. She looked to me as if she might very well be on her way to see You . I was sure I saw
what could be explained as a bit of peace on her face. I don't know Lord. We sit. We watch her
breathing. We talk of the good memories we have of her.....the ones that sort of were not so
pleasant....of her great commitment to You and any other thing that enters our mind. There are
memories we choose to keep private. Perhaps the ones where the conversation was just between us. I think I loved her right from the beginning, Lord. She was so accepting of me. I
was so unsure of everything all the time, she could have taken me out with one look.....or word.
The words were always what got us all at times. She'd say things like...." I committed that"....or
"I settled that"....or something else that (I don't know about anyone else) made me feel as if I
HAD A LONG WAY TO GO TO BE THAT KIND OF CHRISTIAN. Lord, did You use her to
make me dig a little deeper? Even though I felt annoyed at times...I did find myself digging
a little deeper to find the answers to the questions I had for You. "Is it really "wrong" to wear
slacks once in a while?" Or, the hair issues. Or , the sleeve length issue. Or wearing my
wedding ring. I found my answers to all of that surface stuff, Lord. You made me understand that
the issues of anger and jealousy, pride and a haughty spirit were some of the issues that You
felt were the areas I should work on. Thank You Lord for giving me Bessie Belle Davis. She
truly has been a wonderful gift from You. I believe Lord, as she is preparing to make her
entrance into Your kingdom, she may be taking her time so she won't fall. How many times
did we say to her...."Mom, pick up your feet....your're going to fall." (and, too often, she did....
and we would...."tsk, tsk......see, you tripped over this rug......" . You know what, Lord.....I hate
to think that all we think is "so helpful"...is not, at all.
As we await the time that You decide to usher her into Your presence.....would You give us the
peace that she feels right now.....and show us how to put into our lives the commitment to see
You one day that she has always lived before us. I praise You, Lord for this day. I pray I will
honor You. All of the memories I've spoken to You about....all of the needs of this day, I ask
all in the name and will of Jesus. Amen.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
THANKSGIVING TRIBUTE
My thoughts are very jumbled, Lord. It's late. I should go to sleep. Yet, I know that if I don't
write tonight, tomorrow may get too busy. I wish right now that the kid's were all little, and we
could go to Mom and Dad's for Thanksgiving. She could do most of the work. I'd set the table,
and we'd eat and enjoy the day! The kids would play, the men would watch football and Mom and I would clean everything up. Lord, I wish sometimes for the days that have passed. I still
cannot believe Mom and Dad are gone. I miss Dad's laughter. I miss how Mom would pull out
all the stops and make that meal just sing to us. She could really cook a good meal.....and usually
liked to do it all alone. I am sort of like that too. There were so many of those times. Lord, I
really appreciate that You gave me such good parents. I always had this connection with Dad...it
was like knowing what he was thinking. I ended up with a good bit of his personality. As a teen,
I was always annoyed with Mom about something. Lord, I wish I had been a nicer daughter. I
think that we had a tendency to rub each other the wrong way. I was so docile and apathetic to
everyone else but she and I always disagreed. I was too mouthy and I regret that. I always
thought I was a little smarter about some things. I know, Lord....I remember talking to You
about this years ago and asking you to forgive me and then asking you to talk to her for me (letting her know how sorry I felt for being a stinker). You did that for me....I needed her to know it for sure. I wish it had never been like that. I tried for many years, as I became an adult, to be a better daughter. During the time when she was incapacitated and we moved heaven and earth to attend to her needs, I know Mom was proud of me....she just never said it to me. Children live what they learn (most of the time) and, I don't imagine Mom ever heard, "Good job, Sylvia....no one can milk a cow like you can"......or whatever the task might have been. Lord, I am grateful for the fact that the parents you gave me led me into the spiritual path that I travel on today. I'm so thankful Daddy was a preacher. I always loved being "the preacher's daughter". I'm not sure
why. Probably, because any attention was some attention. Is that pathetic or what? Lord, I
walk the same path they walked until You called them to their Heavenly home....and I will
continue to do the same. I'm grateful for the churches and people they pastored because I
am the person I am today because of them all. I remember some winners. I also remember
some real losers....some who treated my Father and Mother like they were.....well, certainly
not like they were called by God to preach His word. I suppose, unless they repented, Lord....
well, here again.....this is Your call, Father. Not mine. No one really deserves Your eternal
promise and yet, here we are, sometimes pretty raggedy christians....and You save us from our
selves and love us the way we are.....hoping that You can make us into the image of Yourself.
I appreciate that You work on me....and I'm grateful for the fact that You have allowed me to
work for You in this capacity for so many years. I want my life to count for You , dear God.
Make me an instrument of Your peace. And, Lord....for this Thanksgiving Day, I want You to
be pleased with the work You have done. You have overwhelmed us with Your grace.
I speak to You Lord in the name and power of Jesus. Amen.
write tonight, tomorrow may get too busy. I wish right now that the kid's were all little, and we
could go to Mom and Dad's for Thanksgiving. She could do most of the work. I'd set the table,
and we'd eat and enjoy the day! The kids would play, the men would watch football and Mom and I would clean everything up. Lord, I wish sometimes for the days that have passed. I still
cannot believe Mom and Dad are gone. I miss Dad's laughter. I miss how Mom would pull out
all the stops and make that meal just sing to us. She could really cook a good meal.....and usually
liked to do it all alone. I am sort of like that too. There were so many of those times. Lord, I
really appreciate that You gave me such good parents. I always had this connection with Dad...it
was like knowing what he was thinking. I ended up with a good bit of his personality. As a teen,
I was always annoyed with Mom about something. Lord, I wish I had been a nicer daughter. I
think that we had a tendency to rub each other the wrong way. I was so docile and apathetic to
everyone else but she and I always disagreed. I was too mouthy and I regret that. I always
thought I was a little smarter about some things. I know, Lord....I remember talking to You
about this years ago and asking you to forgive me and then asking you to talk to her for me (letting her know how sorry I felt for being a stinker). You did that for me....I needed her to know it for sure. I wish it had never been like that. I tried for many years, as I became an adult, to be a better daughter. During the time when she was incapacitated and we moved heaven and earth to attend to her needs, I know Mom was proud of me....she just never said it to me. Children live what they learn (most of the time) and, I don't imagine Mom ever heard, "Good job, Sylvia....no one can milk a cow like you can"......or whatever the task might have been. Lord, I am grateful for the fact that the parents you gave me led me into the spiritual path that I travel on today. I'm so thankful Daddy was a preacher. I always loved being "the preacher's daughter". I'm not sure
why. Probably, because any attention was some attention. Is that pathetic or what? Lord, I
walk the same path they walked until You called them to their Heavenly home....and I will
continue to do the same. I'm grateful for the churches and people they pastored because I
am the person I am today because of them all. I remember some winners. I also remember
some real losers....some who treated my Father and Mother like they were.....well, certainly
not like they were called by God to preach His word. I suppose, unless they repented, Lord....
well, here again.....this is Your call, Father. Not mine. No one really deserves Your eternal
promise and yet, here we are, sometimes pretty raggedy christians....and You save us from our
selves and love us the way we are.....hoping that You can make us into the image of Yourself.
I appreciate that You work on me....and I'm grateful for the fact that You have allowed me to
work for You in this capacity for so many years. I want my life to count for You , dear God.
Make me an instrument of Your peace. And, Lord....for this Thanksgiving Day, I want You to
be pleased with the work You have done. You have overwhelmed us with Your grace.
I speak to You Lord in the name and power of Jesus. Amen.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Another gift of Your Love...a child to raise!
You know Lord....I never know what is going to come out (of my mouth, ie.. head) when I start my writing. I think of so many things during the day when I don't have a pen in my hand....and
want to stop and write....but, quietly yelling out those SOS prayer's during those times are okay and as helpful as You always "hear" what I'm not saying.
I don't know why I ever really feel like I'm praying unless I can write out those completed
thoughts.....but, I thank You that I still can talk to You in my mind, in my heart, and in my
spirit. However it all works (and I know it does)....the important thing is that You are listening
to me. Amazing! It truly is. I remember, 39 years ago, getting up to head to the hospital to
have my beautiful baby girl. I didn't know then that "she" was a girl. I never really had to think
too hard about a boy's name. That was a no-brainer. But, the girl's name was a major process.
John and I came up with it together. He had the middle name down. Rochelle. We'd had a
Christian movie at our church for a Sunday evening service....and the main female character's
name was Rochelle.....and he really liked it. I, had been nursing quite a few names for our new
daughter. Marcy was a lead female character in a story I had recently read. I thought the two
combined sounded nice and so, as I headed into the labor room for my induced labor to begin,
I knew what I would name this little one of mine. She was the biggest, little bundle I had ever
delivered. Nine pounds and 8 ounces. From the start I knew she was our little angel. Thank
you Lord, for this precious child that You gave me to raise. I always find myself in awe of the
magnitude of what all of this really means. To be given the gift of a child....and knowing that You
placed me in charge...well, it truly is an amazing responsibility. I worried. I clucked. I worked. And
I clucked some more. And, You Lord....You gave me a daughter that has made me a contented
mom. She shines for her family and all who come in contact with her. Thank you for giving her
to her dad and me. I am blessed beyond all measure. And, this is my prayer to You today.
Apparently....it's all I need today. To tell You of the blessings You have provided....the gifts of
needs met.....all of it.....I place back in Your hands. All things that You touch and then provide
again and again and again, are best when turned back over to You. I pray today Lord because
You have once again, exceeded all I ever wanted or needed....You are my refuge. In You I place
my trust. Amen and Amen again.
want to stop and write....but, quietly yelling out those SOS prayer's during those times are okay and as helpful as You always "hear" what I'm not saying.
I don't know why I ever really feel like I'm praying unless I can write out those completed
thoughts.....but, I thank You that I still can talk to You in my mind, in my heart, and in my
spirit. However it all works (and I know it does)....the important thing is that You are listening
to me. Amazing! It truly is. I remember, 39 years ago, getting up to head to the hospital to
have my beautiful baby girl. I didn't know then that "she" was a girl. I never really had to think
too hard about a boy's name. That was a no-brainer. But, the girl's name was a major process.
John and I came up with it together. He had the middle name down. Rochelle. We'd had a
Christian movie at our church for a Sunday evening service....and the main female character's
name was Rochelle.....and he really liked it. I, had been nursing quite a few names for our new
daughter. Marcy was a lead female character in a story I had recently read. I thought the two
combined sounded nice and so, as I headed into the labor room for my induced labor to begin,
I knew what I would name this little one of mine. She was the biggest, little bundle I had ever
delivered. Nine pounds and 8 ounces. From the start I knew she was our little angel. Thank
you Lord, for this precious child that You gave me to raise. I always find myself in awe of the
magnitude of what all of this really means. To be given the gift of a child....and knowing that You
placed me in charge...well, it truly is an amazing responsibility. I worried. I clucked. I worked. And
I clucked some more. And, You Lord....You gave me a daughter that has made me a contented
mom. She shines for her family and all who come in contact with her. Thank you for giving her
to her dad and me. I am blessed beyond all measure. And, this is my prayer to You today.
Apparently....it's all I need today. To tell You of the blessings You have provided....the gifts of
needs met.....all of it.....I place back in Your hands. All things that You touch and then provide
again and again and again, are best when turned back over to You. I pray today Lord because
You have once again, exceeded all I ever wanted or needed....You are my refuge. In You I place
my trust. Amen and Amen again.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Help Me to Speak, Lord! (...don't forget the whiteout)
Lord, it's late. And, I seem to be unable to sleep. Often when You wake me up, I'm thinking that
there must be someone that needs me to pray for them or I just need to write some things down that are on my mind. Tonight, I just wonder how I can thank You for the blessings I have.
My husband. My children. Their families. Their vocations. Our ministry. The talents You've
given and encouraged us to nurture. My heritage. The very fact that I was born into a family
of believers. Being able to live in a nation that was founded on Godly principles. Everything
would be so different if we lived in a nation where sirens sounded on a regular basis and no one
was ever really safe. There is such sadness around the world. I'm sure that probably there is a whole lot of it right
down the street. I don't know. I wonder Lord, have I done what You have expected of me? I know that my
"reach" into the world is limited....I am a homebody with little outlet except church and my
duties there. Show me IF I need to reach out more. I really want to please You Lord and do for
You what You feel are the places I can be an instrument for You in. It is scary a bit for me to
reach out and ask if I can do more for You....because it may mean I have to speak to someone.
You know I can really mess up at times.....to the point where I've come to You asking that You
erase things I've said wrong in front of my class or the congregation. Who else can do that?
As far as I am concerned, when I slip up in my conversations and/or teaching....and I'm afraid
I've said something I shouldn't....I feel as if You can take out the old "white-out bottle" and do
Your magic for me. You know, Lord....there've been times when I've said something, in all
innocence, and someone has been hurt by my words. Unknowingly, I've done exactly what I
never want to do.....and don't even know it. I guess Lord, that is why I hesitate talking at all.
This sounds like a weak and wounded soul talking. And, Lord....I don't feel particularly weak
or wounded today, or this week....it's just that I do have those times when I feel as qualified as
the lamp post to speak at all. When that happens Lord, I have to depend on You to do the work
for me. If You are filling my heart with Your words....then I'll be okay. To be Your ambassador
is the job You have given me to do. For a long while, my job was to mop up spills and wipe
noses. Now, after many years of nurturing my family....I still have time to do things for You.
Make it clear. And, Lord....make me WANT to. I know You can do that for me too. And, I guess
Lord, that You and I can make a difference. For the things I ask You to do for me, and for
all I don't even know I want You to do....I ask in the name of Jesus....and the power of Your
will. You are truly an awesome God. What You say and the way You say it is so often, life
altering.....especially when I apply Your truths to my life. Jesus, help me to make You proud.
Love, Corrine......and amen.
there must be someone that needs me to pray for them or I just need to write some things down that are on my mind. Tonight, I just wonder how I can thank You for the blessings I have.
My husband. My children. Their families. Their vocations. Our ministry. The talents You've
given and encouraged us to nurture. My heritage. The very fact that I was born into a family
of believers. Being able to live in a nation that was founded on Godly principles. Everything
would be so different if we lived in a nation where sirens sounded on a regular basis and no one
was ever really safe. There is such sadness around the world. I'm sure that probably there is a whole lot of it right
down the street. I don't know. I wonder Lord, have I done what You have expected of me? I know that my
"reach" into the world is limited....I am a homebody with little outlet except church and my
duties there. Show me IF I need to reach out more. I really want to please You Lord and do for
You what You feel are the places I can be an instrument for You in. It is scary a bit for me to
reach out and ask if I can do more for You....because it may mean I have to speak to someone.
You know I can really mess up at times.....to the point where I've come to You asking that You
erase things I've said wrong in front of my class or the congregation. Who else can do that?
As far as I am concerned, when I slip up in my conversations and/or teaching....and I'm afraid
I've said something I shouldn't....I feel as if You can take out the old "white-out bottle" and do
Your magic for me. You know, Lord....there've been times when I've said something, in all
innocence, and someone has been hurt by my words. Unknowingly, I've done exactly what I
never want to do.....and don't even know it. I guess Lord, that is why I hesitate talking at all.
This sounds like a weak and wounded soul talking. And, Lord....I don't feel particularly weak
or wounded today, or this week....it's just that I do have those times when I feel as qualified as
the lamp post to speak at all. When that happens Lord, I have to depend on You to do the work
for me. If You are filling my heart with Your words....then I'll be okay. To be Your ambassador
is the job You have given me to do. For a long while, my job was to mop up spills and wipe
noses. Now, after many years of nurturing my family....I still have time to do things for You.
Make it clear. And, Lord....make me WANT to. I know You can do that for me too. And, I guess
Lord, that You and I can make a difference. For the things I ask You to do for me, and for
all I don't even know I want You to do....I ask in the name of Jesus....and the power of Your
will. You are truly an awesome God. What You say and the way You say it is so often, life
altering.....especially when I apply Your truths to my life. Jesus, help me to make You proud.
Love, Corrine......and amen.
Monday, November 8, 2010
For the Pleasure of Your Company....thank You!
You know, Lord.....it doesn't take much time (unless I choose ) to talk to You in the morning...read a portion of scripture and a devotional....and confer with You on the things I need
or do not understand. It can be an all day thing or not. And, Lord, I have found that when I defeat
satan and do what I feel You are nudging me to do....often, I find myself not losing out spiritually.(like I'm sure satan wants me too). It
is so underhanded the way satan deals with us. We feel we are doing Your will. We try so very
desperately to obey what we think You are drawing us to do. And, we carry through.....and feel
this depletion of self....and rest, knowing we've done what You've urged us to. Satan then steps
in and spins our "completed task" and shows us ourselves in a spotlight of public approval and the
accolades that may accompany it....therein, providing us with a false sense of security in our
spiritual state. "You've got it covered, girl" . "You're 'real' conversation with God is inspiring". All the while, he.....(satan, that is) stands back awaiting my anxious heart to fail me.
My dear Heavenly Father, all I can say is....as long as You give me breath, I will praise You. I will maintain to anyone who will listen, that You are my God.....and that my life would not be
worth a dime without You. I will obey what You ask. Atleast, I am going to give it great thought....and determination to follow Your plan as long as I know You are guiding me. And,
that I say with all the honesty I have. I wish I could say "Yes, I will follow You".....as the fisherman who were called to be Your diciples. I have to admit, Lord....I sort of think if I did say
"yes" that quickly, I'd be back-pedaling a bit trying to think of those I needed to alert first. (You know Lord....I wonder if that is a requirement You have of us. Is it? The "stopping-to-
tell-someone-where-I'm-going" part? Is my hesitation to do what You say "immediately" okay
with You?) I guess that is something we need to discuss.
I want to get back to the first part I was talking to You about....You have nudged me.... and I
love that You love me enough to take time to give me a "heads-up" about taking more time
with You. The learning and memorizing portions have given me another avenue to draw myself
closer to You. I thought of another yesterday. Jeremiah 33:3...." Call unto me...and I will
answer You and tell You great and unsearchable things that you do not know." It was mentioned in class the other Sunday that this is a sure-fire telephone call we can depend on.....
mainly because You're never "too busy" for us. So, Lord as I contemplate the changes I need
to make in my day to day....I will let You and anyone who asks how important the staging is for
me. As long as I can breathe....and think.....my time will be Your time. Tithing my time to You
could possibly be an option. I'll have to think about that one too. For now, Lord....I thank You
for the devotional today that pricked my spirit. I know You sent it to me. I praise You Father
for the gift of Your Son to our world. How blessed we as a people are to have this refuge....a
very present help in our troubles. For all I talk with You about and the needs of our family...
I ask for all to be done in Your Name and will. Thank You Father. Amen.
or do not understand. It can be an all day thing or not. And, Lord, I have found that when I defeat
satan and do what I feel You are nudging me to do....often, I find myself not losing out spiritually.(like I'm sure satan wants me too). It
is so underhanded the way satan deals with us. We feel we are doing Your will. We try so very
desperately to obey what we think You are drawing us to do. And, we carry through.....and feel
this depletion of self....and rest, knowing we've done what You've urged us to. Satan then steps
in and spins our "completed task" and shows us ourselves in a spotlight of public approval and the
accolades that may accompany it....therein, providing us with a false sense of security in our
spiritual state. "You've got it covered, girl" . "You're 'real' conversation with God is inspiring". All the while, he.....(satan, that is) stands back awaiting my anxious heart to fail me.
My dear Heavenly Father, all I can say is....as long as You give me breath, I will praise You. I will maintain to anyone who will listen, that You are my God.....and that my life would not be
worth a dime without You. I will obey what You ask. Atleast, I am going to give it great thought....and determination to follow Your plan as long as I know You are guiding me. And,
that I say with all the honesty I have. I wish I could say "Yes, I will follow You".....as the fisherman who were called to be Your diciples. I have to admit, Lord....I sort of think if I did say
"yes" that quickly, I'd be back-pedaling a bit trying to think of those I needed to alert first. (You know Lord....I wonder if that is a requirement You have of us. Is it? The "stopping-to-
tell-someone-where-I'm-going" part? Is my hesitation to do what You say "immediately" okay
with You?) I guess that is something we need to discuss.
I want to get back to the first part I was talking to You about....You have nudged me.... and I
love that You love me enough to take time to give me a "heads-up" about taking more time
with You. The learning and memorizing portions have given me another avenue to draw myself
closer to You. I thought of another yesterday. Jeremiah 33:3...." Call unto me...and I will
answer You and tell You great and unsearchable things that you do not know." It was mentioned in class the other Sunday that this is a sure-fire telephone call we can depend on.....
mainly because You're never "too busy" for us. So, Lord as I contemplate the changes I need
to make in my day to day....I will let You and anyone who asks how important the staging is for
me. As long as I can breathe....and think.....my time will be Your time. Tithing my time to You
could possibly be an option. I'll have to think about that one too. For now, Lord....I thank You
for the devotional today that pricked my spirit. I know You sent it to me. I praise You Father
for the gift of Your Son to our world. How blessed we as a people are to have this refuge....a
very present help in our troubles. For all I talk with You about and the needs of our family...
I ask for all to be done in Your Name and will. Thank You Father. Amen.
Monday, November 1, 2010
On Being a Couch Potato......(sweet potato, please)!
Lord, today is a new day. I haven't started off like I wanted to. First on the list is to talk to You.
And, first on my list today , was coffee.....which is okay....but , next was a comatose position on the couch. I look at my Bible. I look at my devotional. Nothing. Lord, You have a job today.
Get me off the couch. I'll start with the thanking-you part. I am grateful Lord, that I do have a
choice today. I can remain seated on the couch and veg.....or I can remain seated (if I choose) and plan for the next Oasis at my home.....decorating plans for Christmas.....rearranging my furniture for easiser traffic flow when guests come for the holidays. I have umpteen things that
can fill a day. Are they going to make it onto my list today? Lord, in my class yesterday, I heard
about a young mother fighting stage 5 cancer, has 4 children, has not a stitch of furniture, beds or bedding.....the list is long. To speak of our anxious moments of concerns.....well, Lord....it pales
in comparison to a request of this nature. When you speak of no clothing, no furniture, no bedding.....usually means you can't afford food either. Lord, today my needs are not desperate.
My concern today is ...."am I fulfilling the goal you have for me today?.....". You can remain on a
couch if you have a phone nearby to call those that have a need that perhaps you can fill just by
listening to them. But, Lord....so often I can let a day go by and seemingly accomplish nothing. I don't like myself on those days, and am always embarrassed if someone catches me. But....
writing notes, sending cards, making a call, sewing a button or two on your husband's shirt,
are all things that need to be done....and.... I can do them all....and sit on the couch!!! And, by the way, too often, running to put out fires that never start
and shopping to buy what you do not need are also ways to avoid sitting on the couch....but are
not fruitful. So.... am I making
a case for sitting on the couch? Yep....you bet'cha! I find that sitting still....in the quiet....looking
through the scripture.....writing down passages that speak to me....all of these things make me
introspective. That is a place many do not care to go. And, the first reason is: "I don't have
time to sit down and think.....I've got too much to do!" When I hear this....I automatically feel
chastised because I'm not "up and at'em" all of the time. I do make time (even the busiest
days) to sit alone....with You and my thoughts. It's my favorite time. It's almost a requirement
for my personality. I used to (sometimes still do) hide this fact from those closest to me because
I'm embarrassed to admit it. So, Lord....in this prayer I have gone from one end of the spectrum
to the other. First, admitting I like sitting on the couch and feeling sort of guilty about it and secondly, accomplishing something
if I am choosing to sit.....and therein, justifying it. Yes, I am nuts. It's crazy talk. And yet, you
love me. You have chosen me to be a child of Yours. And, even though there are days when I
feel that I have not done my best for You......I NEVER want to let that be a habit. I want my
life to be vessel for You. Perhaps broken off in places.....but spilled out to be the best example of You that I can be. All of these tumbled thoughts I present and ask in Your name , Lord.
I'm Your's. Everything I've got....everything I am.....it's all Your's.
Amen.
And, first on my list today , was coffee.....which is okay....but , next was a comatose position on the couch. I look at my Bible. I look at my devotional. Nothing. Lord, You have a job today.
Get me off the couch. I'll start with the thanking-you part. I am grateful Lord, that I do have a
choice today. I can remain seated on the couch and veg.....or I can remain seated (if I choose) and plan for the next Oasis at my home.....decorating plans for Christmas.....rearranging my furniture for easiser traffic flow when guests come for the holidays. I have umpteen things that
can fill a day. Are they going to make it onto my list today? Lord, in my class yesterday, I heard
about a young mother fighting stage 5 cancer, has 4 children, has not a stitch of furniture, beds or bedding.....the list is long. To speak of our anxious moments of concerns.....well, Lord....it pales
in comparison to a request of this nature. When you speak of no clothing, no furniture, no bedding.....usually means you can't afford food either. Lord, today my needs are not desperate.
My concern today is ...."am I fulfilling the goal you have for me today?.....". You can remain on a
couch if you have a phone nearby to call those that have a need that perhaps you can fill just by
listening to them. But, Lord....so often I can let a day go by and seemingly accomplish nothing. I don't like myself on those days, and am always embarrassed if someone catches me. But....
writing notes, sending cards, making a call, sewing a button or two on your husband's shirt,
are all things that need to be done....and.... I can do them all....and sit on the couch!!! And, by the way, too often, running to put out fires that never start
and shopping to buy what you do not need are also ways to avoid sitting on the couch....but are
not fruitful. So.... am I making
a case for sitting on the couch? Yep....you bet'cha! I find that sitting still....in the quiet....looking
through the scripture.....writing down passages that speak to me....all of these things make me
introspective. That is a place many do not care to go. And, the first reason is: "I don't have
time to sit down and think.....I've got too much to do!" When I hear this....I automatically feel
chastised because I'm not "up and at'em" all of the time. I do make time (even the busiest
days) to sit alone....with You and my thoughts. It's my favorite time. It's almost a requirement
for my personality. I used to (sometimes still do) hide this fact from those closest to me because
I'm embarrassed to admit it. So, Lord....in this prayer I have gone from one end of the spectrum
to the other. First, admitting I like sitting on the couch and feeling sort of guilty about it and secondly, accomplishing something
if I am choosing to sit.....and therein, justifying it. Yes, I am nuts. It's crazy talk. And yet, you
love me. You have chosen me to be a child of Yours. And, even though there are days when I
feel that I have not done my best for You......I NEVER want to let that be a habit. I want my
life to be vessel for You. Perhaps broken off in places.....but spilled out to be the best example of You that I can be. All of these tumbled thoughts I present and ask in Your name , Lord.
I'm Your's. Everything I've got....everything I am.....it's all Your's.
Amen.
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