Oh, dear One.....how in the world do I ever begin to thank You for the gift of life.  My hope and my commitment to You is first and foremost in my resolve for the new year.  You have allowed me to live and given me health and fortitude to persevere when my senses are barely functioning.  I continue to depend on You for the possibilities that make me a person of worth at all.  I thank You for the gifts You have provided me to make any contribution to those I love and have committed myself to.  Being able to make any house our home throughout our life together has always been so much fun for me.  I think You made that one of my talents.  To be able to provide our children with a comfortable and cozy place to grow in and to enjoy a " soft place to fall"  has always been my goal as a mom.  You gave that to me, Lord.  I thank You for the blessing of having them all want to come "home" for a few days just to enjoy old memories and make new ones.  I praise You for the children You have blessed my husband and me with.  We are so blessed......so overwhelmingly so, that breathing is difficult at times.  These are treasured gifts that I will never, ever take for granted. I wrote at one time that to have son-in-laws and grandchildren that love us is icing on the cake.  It is amazing to me how we are so fulfilled.  I am filled to the brim with Your blessings.  Thank You Father for the blessing of being assured of eternal life with You.  I want nothing to deter me from that goal.  I want to make You proud of the life I live for You.  I don't want You to be ashamed of the individual You expect me to be.....or ever planned for me to accomplish for You.  I am pretty old to be talking about "being all You want me to be"......but, Lord......I know You have plans for us as Your children.  I know we are Your instruments.  What I can accomplish for You is still up in the air.  Help me not to weaken in my attempts to make You smile.  It is IN YOU that I live and move and have my being.  I give You my heart, Lord.  I praise and give You my obedience in all You show me You want changed.  In Your name and will I ask for Your favor and blessings.  I love You Lord.  Amen.

"I Just Have One Thing To Say, Lord......"

Dear One......I have just one thing to say.Actually, there is more than one thing, but, I have to start somewhere.  You are. That is it.  And, with that  "it"......there are no words that can accomplish the entire meaning of this prayer.  You provide.  You forgive.  You love.  You are merciful.  You are more gracious than we would ever expect anyone to be.  You give wisdom.  You understand the needs of my heart.  You grieve.  You befriend.  You accept our gifts to You, piddly as they are oftentimes.  The cries we try to subdue, you take to Your own heart.  When I am at a loss for words and do not know how or what to pray for.....You translate those murmurings and unintelligible sounds to Your Father for us......it is truly amazing to me.  Somehow, someway, I feel the touch of hands so kind and tender.  They lead me to paths I have never known.  They call me to the heights of Heaven and give me strength.  They overwhelm me.  I have never felt so safe and sheltered in the arms of a God who really has no reason to love me and protect me.............and, yet.......You do, Lord.  I am loved.  I can feel it.  You are a miracle worker.....and I mean it in the strongest sense I have the power to. 
The glow and charm of Christmas is still so precious to me.  The gift of the Son of God that was given to me, I unwrapped long ago.......but, I am still amazed at the newness of it.  The power it has to create in me the excitement of opening an especially "waited for" gift and the smile it brings to my heart. It makes me feel so loved and treasured by You, Lord.....The giver of life.  The Three -in-One.  The divine Holy Spirit.....so misunderstood and yet so overwhelming, I just accept it all.  Some day I will understand. 
As usual, Lord......I can't end a prayer without asking for something.....and so, I do.  I ask for all of the favor You can muster up for me today.  I need Your wisdom.  I need Your presence to fill me.  And, I ask all of this in the name of the One who loves me best.  You, Lord.  Your will.  Your way.  Amen.

Making Me a Blessing......to someone today!

Each day Father, I find more and more to do.....more to put on the list.....crossing off one.....adding two ......awaiting the moment I can sit a minute and go over "the list".....and finally assess that it is enough.   Is there always going to be a list?
I suppose that eventually when resources are no longer available.....there will only be well wishes! Until then, I will pursue the goals. 
 As I read a devotional this week I saw a gift that would be no expense at all.  The gift of giving your self as a prayer warrior for 365 days.  I have done this before and included several ladies in the process to do it also.  I do not think I ever followed up on whether they felt it was a gift that was well received......or even appreciated.  I think IF I felt anyone had chosen to do this for me......I would feel as if I had someone to lean on that would be somewhat responsible to talk to You for me......to ask You to lift me when I need
lifting, bless me when I need to be blessed, touched with your healing hand when I am ill, mentally or physically.  I read this earlier this week.....felt nudged by You to do something tangible for someone.....and didn't.  No real reason not to.....just laziness and failure to move myself to action.  It takes so little, Lord.  All we have to do really is write a little love note and tuck in some special good wishes and a prayer......and .......regrettably, I went empty handed......saw the one that You had nudged me about and felt guilty.  And, I should have.  I was disgusted with myself and berated myself for my lazy spirit.  When we met and embraced each other, her eyes filled with tears as we commiserated our thoughts to each other.  I knew my "gift" to her (from your lips to my ears)  would have been received with a grateful heart.....and there I was , standing ......wanting to make a difference......and couldn't.  How in the world could I tell her God had suggested to me I do something for her and I chose not to.
Disgusted.  And, that is all satan needs when he views my heart and life.  He continually looks for ways to tout the fact that I am a worthless Christian and why do I keep trying, anyway?   Vowing to make a difference.....determining to make a change to do just that.....and going by my physical feelings and just "putting it off 'til I feel better" will never accomplish one thing.   This has to stop, Lord.  My determination to be a warrior is waning.  The older I get, the lazier I feel.  I realize mental determination has a lot to do with my actual physical accomplishments.  I need You, Lord.  I need Your push inching  me in the right direction.  See, even when You suggest what I could do.....I still find myself finding excuses.  I find myself wanting to make a difference today.  However.  Whenever.  With whoever.  Put me out there and then, You and I can figure out later how to find my way back.  Prayer is easy for me.  I find that saying the words doesn't make anything so.  Doing is what really counts.  And, the biggest part is actually going to get what I need to do it......like a proper size box, tape and the right address to mail a package......or the right paper, card and envelope to send someone a note.  A phone call.....well, I need the phone book, a phone and a chair to sit in.  Why is it SO hard to do the right thing.  I have said it before.....so I will say it again......satan uses every legitimate trick in the book to get me off track.....to sideline my good intentions....sending me somewhere else to put out a fire that is never going to start.  Lord, my heart is weak today.....I guess my spirit is sagging a bit.  Why, I don't know.  It just is.  So, Lord.....whatever good I can do....I will.  I am so sorry I failed to do as You suggested, when You suggested it.  I will do my best to remedy this.   I need You to keep talking to my heart.  I want to be a better sounding instrument.  Not for my glory but for Your kingdom to come.  Faithful.  Enduring to the end.  Resolute.  Determined.  All of it....for You.  In Your name and will I pray and hope to live as You planned for me to.  Amen.

 It's the same thing every year, Lord.  Making the list. And, then.....what can I buy them that they really would like.  It seems to be a quandary more and more.  Very few of us really need anything except more money to pay bills.  The "gotta' have it....gonna' get it now" mentality is way too pervasive and creeps in so quietly we're not even aware it is happening.....and then, when someone asks......What do you need?  Or, what can I give you that you really want?  There is the same answer everywhere....way too often.  "Well, I don't need that......or want that......or like that......I already have one like that.....in fact....I didn't like it so I got a newer one!"  On and on it goes.  We try and fail regularly.  Atleast I seem to.  Okay, so what do I do?  Buy everyone something at the dollar store?  When we have to put money or a gift card in an envelope and hand it to the recipient.....does that convey our good wishes for this special time of year?  I am guilty, Lord.  I have too much.  Things I wanted, so I did what many do.....bought them....and didn't think twice.  What happened to feeling guilty because I should have waited until I really had the money or did something for someone else in stead.  Lord, I think I need to have a new perspective on an old question.  Why do we give?  Why do I give?  Is it so people will think we are....what?  Wonderful?  Special?  I'm not sure anymore.  I did at one time make special gifts to show my finesse at creating things.....and enjoy the wordy applause.  It's embarrassing to admit that.....and then to realize it is not the real intent of gift giving.  Your Father, Lord......our Holy Spirit, gave to us a most precious gift.  A child.  The purpose was to show us the way of salvation.  From birth to death to life in Christ.  It was unwarranted.  It had never even been dreamed of.  It was too "over the top".  Expensive?  In pain and agony and humiliation to the enth degree.  But, was what gives us the hope of Eternal Life and joy and peace and all the wonderful gifts You provide us with.  We have never received anything that compares and never will.  To think of Christ , the child given............and not receive Him with anything but thanksgiving and exuberant joy is to laugh in the face of God and say......What?  You expect me to be thrilled with this?  Take it back.  I'm not interested in having this gift.  I want a REAL present."  Oh, Jesus......Savior of this world.....let me give and receive in the manner You gave to me.  I receive the Christ.  As I open this beautifully wrapped gift......help me remember, there is no gift that can top this One.  It is as good as it gets.  For me......and my house......who all serve You......may we ever be grateful and love You as You allow us to.  It is with joy I serve You, Lord.  You are my grace......my strength.....my purpose.  Happy day to You, Lord.  I praise You and bless Your name.  Amen.

I Think My Halo Is Crooked!

Help Lord.  I can't seem to get off the couch.  I find all these excuses to sit here.  I've got notes to write.....I have lists to make......I have devotions to catch up on.....I have some online shopping to do.  Oh, and did I mention?  More lists to make.  Lord....I am going to need a forklift soon.  Help, I say!
After I finish this letter to You.....I am up and at it!  Christmas tree will be decorated.....and the living room done by suppertime.  I wish I could leave it from one year to the next.  It is cozy and homey and I love it 'til Spring comes.  Then, I have no patience for evergreen.  Lord....of all the stupid things....when so much is happening in the world.  I see that Lebanon has done some bombing in Israel.  People everywhere are going to bed hungry.  Life and death issues are confronting people we know and love.....and I have .....lists to make?  Forgive me and help me concentrate on what is priority for me and mine right now and do the best I can.....with what I have.  Give me the energy to push through the saggy feeling I will get in the middle of it all.  Help me to remember  that "the joy of the Lord is my strength" and the fact that You always have given me the strength and direction I need.....when I stop.....ask.....and wait.  It is just a matter of turning over to You the battle of mind and body. 
As I peruse the devotionals I've got in my inbox, I see that the wonderful habit You have of reminding me of the things I intend to incorporate into my spiritual journey.....is ever-present.....and awaiting my attention.  As I am beginning to review the areas of concern to You for me, I see that keeping my mind and heart on the things that are beneficial to my growth .  Spiritually speaking.  The forbearance and longsuffering.....kindness and forgiving nature.....all of it, I want to be second nature for me.  Just about the time I think I have it covered.......someone cuts me off on my way to Walmart.....or pulls into the parking spot I've been sitting and waiting for .....properly, with my blinker on!  Those are the times I find a little irritating and the "longsuffering" nature I yearn for , goes out the window.  You know Lord, I have always found it to be maddening to be around people that are always so "perfect acting" and always have the most profound thoughts......is that really what You want me to be?  Childish behavior is not so bad.....is it?   As one of my kids once said......"Being a Christian is so annoying!"
Why?  Because it's hard to be good?  Especially when someone needs an earful!  The scripture says that when we are children we see things as a child would.....but , when we are older (and wiser)......well, I wonder dear One......do we ever really grow up?  Being a Christian means we are changed.  Oh, Lord.....I don't even want to delve into that statement right now.  All I know is......being like You is important to me.  I want to be Your instrument.  Whatever that takes.....at this point in my life......well, Lord.......that is what I am willing to do.  Yeah.....that's what I said.  Now.....what I need is for You to help me really mean it. 
I ask all.....Lord Jesus......in the name of the precious Son of God.  Amen

"Thank You....blessings abundant!"

It's been quite a few days since I posted a prayer, Lord.  This computer isn't cooperating and I have enough trouble keeping my thoughts in tow without having to keep turning this thing on after it goes off.   I have been relaxing too, while we're away a few days.  It's nice to get away from our regular routines and see how others do their day to day.  I'm grateful for grace and mercy you provide everywhere we go.  It's nice to watch our grown-up children as they live in their corner of the world, interacting and ministering to those you have them in contact with.  Each one of them, has this nucleus of people they minister to.  Continue to uplift them.  I often wonder, Lord, if You were walking along with us (in human form), if our words would be different.  Or, our demeanor.  Or, even the thoughts we entertain before we open our mouth.  I think I behaved myself today when I interacted with the thrift store people.  I wasn't crazy about losing the three dollars I paid for those pants.....but, I handed them the pants and said I would donate them back to them.  Wasn't that big of me?  And, ended up spending four more dollars.  I find it difficult at times to be graceful when I am not so grateful.

 I found the song "Broken and Spilled Out" a real saga to my life for a while a few years ago.  I resented the fact that I had been .....(broken and spilled out and used up) and was looking for a way out.  It was only when I accepted that if I was not willing.....then You could do nothing for me.  It took a little  while.  I wanted to be pitied.  I was waiting for the party to begin. I can listen to that song now, Lord.....and enjoy the fact that I am working with You and not against You. Continue to prompt me, Jesus , when I am in need of someone to be in my corner.  Sometimes I feel I am alone in this role I play.  I want to be Your instrument in understanding and being understood.  I'd like to be Your instrument in speaking words of encouragement and receiving such.  In these days when I tend to be very aware of my flaws, could You help me to stand on the promises You have given me (over and over), to carry on the business of living.  I believe in the security of Your Word.....the fact that You know my name.....it's written on the palm of Your hand (in case You forget....smile....sorry, Lord!) and my concerns are Your concerns.  That always amazes me and reminds me again of the love You have for Your children.  I hold tight to that piece of inspiration from Your Word.  I bless You, O Lord!  Give me the inspiration to do that.
 
Thank You, Father.  Thank You for the favor of Your love and blessings You provide.  Thank You for the peace You provide that passes all understanding.  For all I ask....and pray for....I ask all in Your name.  Amen.

It is always hard for me to sit down and write to You when I have fifty things to do.  But, today.....since I do not feel like doing any of it.....I'm writing.  I love You, Lord....and I lift my voice to worship You.  You are the keeper of all of my heart thoughts.  You are the provider for all the needs I feel I have to have.  You are the giver of gifts I absolutely do not deserve.  You are the author and finisher of my life.
I praise You and give You thanks.  It is the desire of my heart to please You, Lord.  In all of my ways....in all of my conversation.....in all of the business of living and loving our family and friends.....there really is no happiness without knowing You are running the movie of my life.  I am the star of this one and I want to give all the royalties to You, Lord.  Mostly I want to please You in the areas of my life where I struggle.  My time and how I spend it.  The projects I really need to just let go of.  The concerns that should be first and foremost in my own life.  Forging into unknown territory that You are  pressing me to step into.  All of these and more, Father......I need Your touch and perhaps even, a shove.
I am so grateful for the areas of accountability that I have been cornered in and to.  Lord, I have found it a wealth of inspiration that I can see will make me a better instrument for You.  Thank You, Father for giving me the instincts that urge me to keep my spiritual house in order.  Areas I need to improve on ..... areas that draw me in, not away.....each one is what I want to accomplish for You.  I have given You all access.  I want the nudges.  Don't forget that, Lord.  I know the important things of life are not all about me.....but I do know that what concerns me, concerns You.  Jesus, Savior of the world.....give me Your blessing this day....grant me the favor I am due today.  I love You, Lord.  All the concerns, all the heart thoughts, all the requests......each one I speak in the name of Jesus.  Amen, for now.

"In all my ways....acknowledging You!"

More and more I realize how lazy I am, Lord.  It takes effort.....real effort to make myself  decide to move my body to the treadmill.....or the "ten minutes a day and you'll be fit" machine I paid in monthly installments forever....or the stationary bike I just bought at a yard sale for 15 dollars. Now I hear that it has been studied and pronounced that if you just SIT, you are more likely to get colon cancer than one who moves around a bit during an hour.  These things are facts of my life that are troublesome.  Lord, I know I should move more.  I know I should exercise.  I know.  Boy, do I ever.  I also know that this is not a commandment.....and so......I often defer to the couch!  (It's a nice couch.)  As for my spiritual body,  I need  (way too often) Your shove to do as says to me......"In all your ways acknowledge HIM, and He shall direct your paths....".  (Does this include exercise?  I'm not sure I want to know Your answer to me, Lord.)  I will move on to the more spiritual side of my life......and that is the information You send my way on a steady (almost every single day) basis.  I was so interested in reading my devotionals this week.  I thank You Father.  I have seen tidbits of inspiring scriptures and thoughts all week.  I love analyzing and writing down these ideas to make my life coincide more with Your plan for me.  I had read it before and even applied it but never quite saw it like I did the other morning.  When I read from Oswald Chambers devotional for the day, I saw these words......"Our Lord never insists upon obedience;  He tells us very emphatically what we ought to do...but, He never takes means to make us do it.  We have to obey out of a oneness of spirit."  Lord, I was stunned when I read it in that way.  I know You expect us to obey.  I just ......well......I know......uh.......what I should do.....and sort of......forget.  You know, Lord......to uh, do it right away!
Seems like my prayers the last few weeks sort of all say the same thing.  "I know what I should do.....so, will You help me do it?"  I don't think, Lord, that You are going to "help" me to obey You.
I think IF I LOVE YOU AS I CLAIM TO......that I will obey You freely, immediately if not sooner, and in compliance with all You have enabled me with.  I noticed Oswald was very direct when he said that if one does not comply as suggested, then one loves themselves more than they love the God who created them.....(as if I am in competition with You).  I didn't like what I read very much, Lord.  It tended to pronounce me guilty of sabotaging my own spiritual welfare because of my spiritual laziness.  So, now I find myself in the middle of an "out-loud" letter to You.  In essence, making myself accountable to You and whoever, as to what I need to do.  As far as the body goes, that is probably an exercise in futility.....but, Lord......the other part......I can do.  And, I will.  I promise.  To you, my dear , sweet Lord.  I do love You.  And, to put off my pursuit of knowing Your will and plan for me more and more.....is ridiculous behavior. 
Lord, there have been so many requests this week for the sadness and sickness in the lives of those we care for.  Father, thank You for being so loving to us.  Thank You for giving us the reprieve of laying our burdens at Your feet.....and knowing You will allow what is best for us.  Oh and to even say that, is scary, Lord. 
How do I love Thee, Lord......let me start counting the ways.  I can't .  It's too much.   Thank You for taking my heart thoughts.  I ask them all in the name of Jesus.  Amen, Lord.

"IT'S ALL IN THE NAME OF JESUS!"

You know, Lord......the more I pray....the more I watch.....the more I wait....I can see.  We can go off on our own journeys alone without asking for direction from You or place ourselves in that spot of paralyzed fear to even make a choice.  I've done both, Lord.  And, probably will again.  But, today, I see that my best source of wisdom is coming to You, again and again and again.  I cannot tell You how I love that You provide us this oasis.  I love to think that I am wise.  I love to have my kids call and say, " Mom, what do you think I should do?"  What mother doesn't?  To be honored in that way always touches me.  It makes me feel like I am still worth a hoot!  But, Lord.....You are the ONE  to be honored.  You are my touchstone.  You are my coming King.  You are my God.  Thank You Father.  Thank You for Your presence in my heart and life.  I am given honor to name You as my number one wisdom provider. I always love it when I read how Solomon was given the choice of gifts he would want.....and he chose wisdom.    It tells me that wisdom is a smart choice and it also tells me that even with that gift, you have to remember where that comes from. For even with great wisdom, if our hearts are not inclined to include You in our decisions....You stand back and let us go.  Eventually, I think, everyone always knows they need to come back to You. In all of this,  Lord, I know that  you love us . Still.   I know You love me and are concerned about all of my comings and goings.  To be like You, Father.....now that is the ultimate goal for me.  Is that so I soar above the masses with my heavenly truths?  I do not ever want to be viewed as so heavenly minded , I am no earthly good.  To have people avoid me like the plague so they don't have to listen to my latest "word from the Lord" is not a level I yearn to be on.  Oh Lord!  My hope and prayer is to be the image of Yourself that You created me to be.  Not  everyone that loves and serves You is honored....or revered....or loved.  I am not begging to be viewed as less respected.....just to be the servant You need me to be.  I hope I am not asking for trouble.  But, You know my heart, Lord.  You know how I mean what I say to You.  I remember when that song came out years ago....."Whatever It Takes".  I remember after we sang it as a special one Sunday, I heard someone say how they disliked the words that were written to that song.
"Whatever it takes, to draw closer to You, Lord....that's what I'm willing to do....". I guess I would hesitate to make a statement that would garner someones thinking.  Naturally, I don't agree with what everyone in Christendom says or does or writes, but many feel they have their truths in sync with You, Lord.  I beg to differ pretty often, but, I realize my thoughts are not everyone Else's.  I can count on You though, Lord.  I can believe that what You say and make known to me through scripture and prayer and the books I read are Your heart connecting with mine.  Lord, You know I hear comments different times from women (and men) that have been in my classes......and while they are expressing their opinion or experience, I have found myself thinking.....".....uh, Lord.....how do I get out of this one? "......and then, I realize that to be honest and forthright with someone on a "point of view" scripturally speaking is one thing.....but spiritual truths.....the perception and precepts of the same are
so very much Your business, Lord.....I believe that is truly Your area.  I pray , dear One , that I will always defer to Your way of perceiving.  Not everyone sees "the truth" as I see it.  But, You Lord.....You can help any one see any thing.  I ask, Lord, that You will help me as I attend to my servant duties.  That I will always let You be the Only Teacher.  Today is Yours, Lord.  As is tomorrow and the day after.  I choose to serve You.  I can do nothing without Your leadership in my heart and life.  I ask all in the name of Jesus and through the shed blood.  Amen.

IN ALL MY WAYS....I ACKNOWLEGE YOU!

Before I barely have a chance to make a list, Lord.....the week has disappeared.  How does this happen?
I had some plans that did not hit the light of day.   I can always see that what I want is to make my life
more accessible to You.  I want that what You see would be good changes for me, would be realized.  Way too often, I am aware of these changes, and I continue to put off what I need to do.  I say to You....."Lord, I want to do Your will."  And then, I go my way.  Monday, I rested from Sunday.  Tuesday, I went to the outlets with some ladies from church.  Wednesday, I cooked for our Wednesday Supper at church all day.  On
Thursday, I recovered.  And, Friday?  I thought I would look for a new purse.  That did not happen. When I think about the young woman I saw walking in the parking lot today.....I wonder what her need was.  I saw her approach a couple people.  She saw me but she didn't acknowledge me.  I have asked You Lord, to bless her heart and give her what she needs to get through today.  I remember thinking her countenance was sad and I prayed an SOS prayer for her. Lord, You know  I am always
nervous......when I go out.  Especially when I am coming out of a store.   I am usually looking out and around to see what is going on near my car.  Of course, it  always helps when I remember where the car is!
The areas I concentrate on are the ones where I feel somewhat competent.  I am sure that You are okay with that but would appreciate me stretching a bit.  When the cashier at Walmart said, "Have a blessed day!" today, I looked at her and said,
"What did you say?" and she repeated it.  I responded with, "Thank you, and you too!"  .  I imagine she wondered what she may encounter when I asked her what she had said.  I think that was really bold of her to attempt that at a secular store.  Some folks are not  appreciative of that kind of communication with another.  Lord, I need to be a little bolder.  I need to be  a little more courageous.
I need to stop with negative thinking.  My "Self Talk, Soul Talk" work on myself has a lot more to be desired.  Father, my life is in Your hands.  Your hearts desire for me is what I desire.  I plan to be Your instrument with all that is within me.  There is hope that my witness for You will be seen by those who come in contact with me.  When I get an opportunity to run to the store, often, I grab the keys and my purse and leave as quickly as possible....so I can get back.  Those are the times, Lord, that I need for You to overtake my thoughts.  You know who needs me.  My words or my touch.  Lord, this is when I depend on You to give me Your wisdom.  The scriptures that I have looked at and written down this week are comfort to my soul.  I am thankful.  And, I am grateful.  But...I know that there are days when I fall down in spirit and fail You and myself.  My talk is not helpful.  To me or to anyone else.  Those days are the ones I wish I could do over.  I try to legitimize my thought process and outspoken thoughts.  They are days I wish You would put soap in my mouth.  People have enough trouble  these  days without thinking someone would say something negative about them...and they
don't know.  I ask Lord, that You would stop me in my tracks.  Help me to count to 10 or some other
inane thing.....just to think about what is about to come out of my mouth.  Loose lips sink ships.  Isn't that a verse of scripture, Lord?  No, I don't think it is....(smile)  but it may be close to one.  I think James 5 gives some words of wisdom in comparison to ships.  Lord, You are my guide.  You see what damage I can do with words said aloud that are completely unnecessary to be said at all.  Would You watch over my ship.  I need this.  I want Your heart to agree with mine on this. (Is that possible?)  I ask that You would make my mind thoughts into Your heart thoughts.  You are the best One to do the communicating.  Through me. For me.  Take heart, dear One.....I am Yours.  And, soon.....I will be the image of Yourself.  I will work as long as I breathe to accomplish this for You.  In all I pray and ask wisdom for, I ask in  the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.

Thank you, Lord.....for so many things.  I do love it when You place me in the middle of situation where I would never normally go! Going to the Alumni gathering was hard for me.....and  even though I tend to grump and complain a bit, it's good for me and I do  recognize that.  I found myself enjoying "the getting together" part.  At first, I was ready to go to the bathroom and stay there.  (If they'd only had a relaxing chair to sit in. It really was quite pretty in there!)  Or, even better, the car.  Yeah......that's where I could have really relaxed.  Well, as You know, Lord....I didn't.  I stayed.  I talked to people.  I don't think I embarrassed myself.  (I wish I wasn't so consumed with that!)  I hope  anyone who interacted with me felt better after doing so.  Several didn't recognize me.  I knew that would happen. I'm a "blond" now.....and  I am on the "plus-side"now.  ( Hoping and praying doesn't change that, Lord. )  Anyway....another day, another prayer for that one! 

I thank You too for the gifts of writers who press us to press a little harder to be the instruments for You that You want us to be.  It is with honor and thanksgiving I give them what they are due.  I praise You for this latest challenge I find myself in.  I also can see something else.  I can read.  I can furiously write down the rules and special notations....the scriptures and the exercises to work on....and I do that so religiously....but,  there is one thing I fail to do.  Many times.  I "put off" the actual part of "doing" the work.  "Someday when I have a little more time.....", I say.  And on and on it goes.....until later on sometimes, months later.....and I re-read as I go through my prayer journal.  "How did I forget that?"  "Why didn't I carry that through?" Lord, You know what I think?  I believe that most of the time when that kind of thing happens....satan knows of my hope to change into the image of You and my "need" to express that.  Often, he plants another need in front of me....all very legitimate....all very important too!  And, when that happens, I go off in another direction....gathering all my supplies to put out a fire that was never really going to start anyway.  Therein, taking my thoughts and my time away from an issue that could help me to be a more effective Christian.  Once again Lord....I ask for Your intervention in my heart and life to make me more and more aware of what I can change that is indeed worthy of change.  I realize that You did a wonderful job when You put me together.  It was as the years went by that parts of my personality were skewed in a way that You never planned for me....and I didn't have the wisdom to fix it. Or, even have the sense to ask for that wisdom.

It is with joy that I write to You and give You the thoughts and needs of my heart.  So many have need of Your intervention in their lives.  Physically, mentally and spiritually.  And, much of the emotional need for them can be fixed by my moving out of my comfort zone and doing what I can and/or listening to their heart thoughts.  I am amazed that so often I am told that "I didn't know I could ask God about something so simple."  Simple.  Complicated.  Sordid.  Awful.  Each request and heart ache is something that You, God , concern Yourself with.  I will always tell You about what ails me.  Even if anyone else would think it foolish.....I know You love me and the way I think.  It is my solace.  It is what gives me peace. 

I praise You, Lord.  I ask that You would supply the needs that concern my husband and myself...and for our family.....each one.  You are the saver of all that is important to us.  Keep me close to yourself
Lord.  If You see me wandering off ..... well, You know what I need You to do.  Trip me up.  I need to do for You and myself what is the most pressing today. 

I ask all in the name of Jesus.  Amen, Lord.  Amen.

Lord....You and I have this connection.  I just know it.  You know me so well.  You know when I am overwrought with anxiety and cannot breathe right.  You know when I have had all I can take, and You step in.  You love me even though I make it difficult for You.  And, I in turn,  love You back.....but return  to my own devices again and again, until I cannot move another inch forward.  You must view me as mentally challenged in this valley of indecision I always find myself in.  I'm not sure why I continue to battle with myself and my ego.  What if I make the wrong decision?  What will people think?  As usual, I will lash myself with negative words and lay bleeding in the depths. I finally realize that I placed myself in this position once again.  Harsh.  So harsh.  And, why?  Why do I constantly do this?  You told me so many times You love me.  You have written words that I can rely on.....I  know it to be true, yet....so often I find myself begging You , once again, to rescue me from myself.  Thankfully, I have no one that I can rely on (with skin) and don't embarrass myself over and over again.  But, to You, dear One, I find that solace I can lean on.  You never make me feel foolish and unworthy.  I do that all by myself.  The more I read and listen to speakers and writers, I see something that I can barely believe.  Others deal with this same affliction.  I told You the last time I wrote that I am so thankful for the dose of medicine that You provide me with.  The power of Your name, Lord, is so overwhelming that satan flees.  Oh, yes....I know.  He'll come back.  But, he can't stand the name of Jesus and the power of the blood.  I need to use this as my antibiotic and savor the peace it brings me.  I know it works.  I have felt the gentleness of the infusion, Lord.  I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good.  The wealth of this power is mine and  I claim it.  I just do not access it often enough.  I wait.  This is the end of that drama, Lord.  I vow that I will call on the name of the Lord a little quicker than I usually do.  You , dear One, are the strong tower I can choose to hide in.....or not.  I choose to.  Get Your whip out, Lord.  The evil one cannot have me.  Protect my mind from the evil that ensues.  I have to get down on my knees, Lord.   I have to find that helmet of salvation that rolled under the bed last night when I took it off.  I laid that sword by the side of the bed.  It needs sharpening, I think.  I have worn out those edges.  Please protect my heart from the arrows satan flings at me.  I'm not sure....but I threw my nightgown over the breastplate when I got dressed this morning and forgot to put it on.  I know how satan works....if he can plant one evil or negative thought just one time.....it grows like bacteria in a petrie dish.  " Jesus, lover of my soul.....let me to Thy bosom fly".  Another phrase...."Leave, ah.....leave me not alone".   And, another....."Still support and comfort me.....all my trust on Thee is stayed;  All my help from Thee I bring....cover my defenseless head...within the shadows of Thy wing."  Lord, verses of hymns and scriptures were written to add to the power God provides me day in and day out.  Lord, why do I fail to access my trophies.  Lord, help me.  Lead me into all the truth that You have for me.  And, then......Father, help me rely on You to lift me to the place of peace that I yearn for.  I ask all in the name of Jesus....again.  Amen.

As I contemplate talking to You today , Lord.....I don't know where to start.  So much has gone on in just a few days and just about all of it has been fulfilling and inspiring.  I needed that this week.  You always have the right dose of medication for me to take.  Of course, Lord.....I remind You often of the times when I don't think You have paid enough attention to me and start pulling on Your garment to say "Please, Lord!  Don't You see me?" .  Or....."Can't You help me?".  I hate it when I am so pathetic.  Over and over, You come to me and look at my plight.....or the situation I have created.....and You calm the troubled waters, and give me peace.  And, so often, I am sure You have given up on me and  my constant need to have You hold my hand.  I know in my heart You haven't gone anywhere and left me to my own resources.  It is my head and my heart that don't always properly connect.  Somewhere in that mix, I know satan makes himself available to every whim of my spirit.  Overwhelm me with Your holy presence Lord.  I need to avail myself of the divine power of Your word.  Have I prayed this prayer before?  Of course, I have.  Have I meant it?  Of course, I have.
Is it possible to just say, "Ditto, Lord!"  No.  I don't think so.  No one likes to be taken for granted. No
one.....especially You, Lord.  And, why do I think I should be given that privilege?  I need to constantly make satan aware that You are my "Solid Rock!".  I need to make satan aware that no matter what happens.....or doesn't happen......You are my "go-to" preference.  I need to make satan aware that I will never detour from that fact.  I need to make him crazy with my insistence and/or constancy in taking everything to You, Lord.  I maintain that vow to You.  I cannot live, in any sense,  a productive, spirit-filled life  without turning every aspect of it over to You and the wisdom You provide me regularly.  I just quoted my life verse this morning to someone asking advice.  Psalm 19:14 is a prayer that I need to flow easily from my heart and mind....and I think it does, and then, I'm wavering in my thought process and all of a sudden remember this verse....."Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer. ".  Another.....is "Greater is He that is in ME.....than he that is in the world".  And, Lord....another notation to You....."I NEED THEE; O I NEED THEE!  EVERY HOUR I NEED THEE!   O BLESS ME NOW,  MY SAVIOR.....I COME TO THEE!" .   If this precious lady, Annie
Hawks, could write these words in 1872, and they resonate with me, then Lord.....why do I feel that to come to You with my various heart thoughts is bothersome to You?  I will not.  With You helping me with my new version of "self-talk", I will continue to "bother" You.   In all my ways, I will acknowlege You, Lord.  Thank You for this heart to heart, today.  Thank You for the time You give to my woeful talk.  Thank You for loving me in such I way that I will never really understand....but just accept.  I pray in the name of Jesus and always, will to be done.  Amen.
 

Desperate? Just Breathe God's Name!

Jittery and nervous.  Anxious and depressed.  All in the same body, mind and spirit.  Combating all this confusion is an answer.  Lord, first thought is "How did I get here?  Again?"  Second thought is:  "Talk to God."  So often, I am in this place.  And, the same old fears abound....and a few new ones surface. I think it's time , dear One, to put this to rest again!  Out of commission.  At the foot of the cross.  Hmmm.....maybe, buried at the foot of the cross.  For sure....the next time....I'll be sure to bring my shovel, Lord....to help with the process.

I teach.  I exhort, on occasion.  I pray.  I believe....most of the time.  But....I do not leave everything with You.....all the time.  In actual fact, as I was reading today,  I'm thinking I have (because I complain and whine so much).....but haven't really told You my heart thoughts about what I am suffering.  I'm apparently too busy moaning.  I'm sorry, Lord.  Here I have been waiting for You to release an answer and give me some peace, and, I haven't even asked for Your mercy.....and Your answer to my dilemma.

It continues to amaze me Lord.  I think I have just about got You figured out and You shock me with some inspirational words from devotional writers and the inspired word of God......and there I sit....furiously writing and trying to take in all this "new" information You have for me.  Of course, Lord, it's not new at all.  I've heard it all before.  Sometimes, I think You should give us a quiz now and then.....but, that's okay.....the storms that rage in on occasion are enough to keep me on my knees. 

"I stand amazed in Your presence....Jesus, the Nazarene.  I wonder how You could love me.....a sinner, condemned and unclean.  How marvelous.  How wonderful.  And, my song shall always be....how marvelous.  How wonderful....is my Saviour's love for me."  How do I tell You that if it wasn't for Your love I would be hopeless? What amazes me most is that even though You tell me how to live for You, I fall and fail regularly.....and You still love me.  You take the time to come back, help me up....nurture me and steady my walk enough so You can go on ahead of me to prepare the way.....again and again.  Thankfully You do not leave me to struggle alone. 

I praise You today for the wonderful words I have recently read that have strengthened me and encouraged me.  The choices I make.....to read Your word and to feast on the meal You spread out for me....or to insist I've had enough sustenance and can go a little longer without eating....Well, Lord.....this kind of dieting I do not need.  My help comes from You.  I will maintain this healthy lifestyle as long as You give me breath.

For this day, the problems that I view, the heart concerns and the answers I desperately seek....I ask all in Your will, in Your way,  in Your time, and in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

What am supposed to do, Lord?  How do I help in situations I have no control over?  What do I suggest?
Questions upon questions....complaint after complaint.....sorrow upon sorrow.  There seems to be less answers than ever, Lord.  And, when I am asked.....or just told about areas of concern in the lives of others I care about....why do I feel I must fix everything?  Lord, I know it's natural for me to want to say the right thing....and have the answer for any question. (Or, maybe its  just an ego thing...and that's not very spiritual, is it? )  But, You know I can't feasibly do this.  I do have bits and pieces of Your wisdom and a portion of the mind of Christ (the scripture says this and I'm just sayin' it to remind You, okay? )   but sometimes  I seem to draw a complete blank when confronted with the dissension others face.  Lord, I can say things like, "I will pray that God gives you His wisdom ".........but, is there more I can do?  Lord, if there is, I am willing.  Well....I think I am willing.  This is so hard to do, Father.
 When we are little children we go to our parent to find the nurturing we need.  That kiss to make everything better doesn't have a magic cure....it just provides the touch that we as humans often need to feel sustained....and loved.  How do we do this for adults?  How do we show that sustenance that so often is needed....not necessarily wanted? I know my instant reaction is to say something profound.
You know, Lord.  Those statements that make people stop and realize that all is not lost and that there is hope for them.  I guess that is where I make a mistake.  I do know that it is just as important to be quiet many times and just listen.  It isn't always necessary to compare situations and go off on a tangent telling "our story" and "how we handled things".
Show me Lord.  Show me where my place is in those times.  I want to be Your instrument.....and even though I would like to be, I don't have to be the "first chair instrument"!  You know what I mean?  I thank You,  Lord,  that today, even though cloudy,  looks better than yesterday. There's just enough "SON" shining to make things hopeful.   I just thought about that scripture where you give us the reminder that "while we are still speaking.....the answer is on the way" (my version).  I love that , Lord.  It shows me how much You love me and care about what concerns me in my world.  It shows me too, that You will give us the strength we need WHEN we need it.  Not before.  Breathing a prayer when I am listening to someone speak is a good thing to do.  It is then that I should not be afraid to speak IF and WHEN You deem necessary.  It is also easier to speak when I am secure in knowing You are supplying the words.  I have no interest in being "top dog". Really.   All I wish for ....and pray for .....is Your divine intervention in those times.  Today, Lord....is all Yours.  Your plan.  Your way.  Your time.  And, in Your name I pray.  Amen

Hello to You, dear One.   I am at peace when I come to talk to You.  I have all of these questions swirling about in my head....and I look at scriptures....and devotionals....and still have so many  concerns about why I am like I am.  So many  years ago, after some classes taken at a seminar....I found myself anxious and depressed after determining my personality strengths and weaknesses.  Lord, I vividly remember going home to wonder how I could minister to anyone with all of my flaws.  I also remember one day when I was looking into the kitchen pantry of one of our church parsonages (it was that vivid)  and deciding it was time then,  to stop pretending "I had it all together", when I didn't at all.  "Acting as if" wasn't working for me.  It just made me feel worse.  And, Lord.....I also remember one day telling the ladies in a Bible study group about my depression issues.  Most said nothing.  One woman indicated she had "no  clue" about what I was seemingly suffering and indicated there must be "something wrong with me".  I probably struggled more after that "coming clean" session than I believed was necessary.  And, Lord....I know You remember it as well as I do.  I also remember You were especially close to me in showing me those who could advise as well as pray with me and for me.  I was embarrassed to admit I was fallible in any area.  I still feel Lord that You impressed me to be real to those I was ministering to.  The first word I heard from someone that was trying to encourage me was "candid".  I also remember sort of having to check on the meaning of the word.  After that,
Lord.....I felt that "being candid" needed to be my mantra.  I wanted those I was responsible for (in
teaching and giving advice to in our ministry) to know that I didn't have all the answers for them....but I knew someone who did.....and that praying together could lead them to the same peace You had given to  me.  Throughout the years of teaching and speaking .....I always find that You allow me some of Your wisdom in connecting with others and that after I have done all I can do;  go to the foot of the cross and lay that and any other burden I have,  down.  Usually Lord, after I have done all my talking, whether in  a class or our Worship time.....I see the trickle-down effect of my words.  It's not always positive.  It's not always encouraging at all.  After the devil hears my words I really think he pounces on them and turns them against me.  Well.....why can't I blame him, Lord?  He is the detractor of all things positive, Lord.  Anything I have done and said, he will turn to his advantage.  Lord, I told the congregation on Sunday to be "on guard all the time".....to "wear our helmet of salvation"....the breastplate of righteousness seems to be a little more elusive.  Why?  I think mostly, Lord, it's because I do not feel worthy enough to be called "righteous".  Lord, I really think that is satan.  I think it is his job (as satan) to discourage, deflate, detour any manner of righteousness I deserve.  Lord, only You can change that for me.  I read the best verse this morning on the "Facebook" site by a young woman that was a teen in our first church.  She had a picture of a mother bird with her babies tucked in right under the safety of her wings and this verse......"He shall cover you with his feathers and under His wings you shall take refuge..". Lord, that and so many other verses encourage me and show me how very loved I am.  Why is it so easy to forget that?  Why do I put up with satan's lies?
Help me remember that You are the power source for me.  That I can call on You each and every moment of the day.  I ask all of this, again.  I ask all....in the name of Jesus.  I pray for Your will to be done.  Amen.

Thank You Lord for the power of Your word to us.  Thank You for giving us examples to follow....and not to follow.  Sometimes I can see the worst case scenario before I see the best case.  I suppose it is my melancholy/phlegmatic personality.....and I often wish I didn't  have to work so hard to see the  best.  It is tiring.  I realize too, that it is such a playground for the devil.  I need only one negative statement...and off I go to create this screenplay for my life.  I think You created me to be a little more responsible.  The scriptures I encountered today in my devotional were exactly what I needed to see.  As usual Lord....I see what You have written down for me to trust in...and fail to apply where it is needed.  I can think..."whatever is true.....and noble....and right....and pure....and lovely....and admirable....and excellent....or praiseworthy.....THINK ON THESE THINGS!"...and just move on to another verse without really trying to change my thought process.   So, in Your opinion, Lord....do I?  Yeah, I know.  That is what I thought You would say.  Why does it take such effort?  So, Lord.....how do I ...."....let the Spirit renew my thoughts and attitudes. "  I think it's more than putting on a "new nature, created to be like God...truly righteous and holy."  Isn't it? 
Then, of course I think......"Well, if God didn't mean for me to live in such a victorious manner....why would He give me all this information?"  I feel like such a froot-loop , Lord.  I wish I could act my age.  I wish I could be this icon of virtue I'd like to be. Okay, that is a bit dramatic.   I want to do Your will, though.   I'd like to do things that point observers of my behavior to You....with no agenda....or question.  I would appreciate knowing that when I talk to You, You are not sick and tired of listening to the same thing.. You have shown me,  Lord.  Really.  Over and over. (  I recently found an old diary of mom's.  As I perused through the pages....I saw .....Monday:  I have a headache today and had to go to......!  Tuesday:  I have a headache again and had to....!  Wednesday:   I have a headache again and had to .....! )  Do I play the same tape over and over to You?    Lord, even though I perceive myself to be a headache to You , I maintain that You,  without doubt. accept  my flawed thinking and point me to the power of  Your holy Spirit.  It is with a grateful heart I will determine to think of how You responded to satan in the moments You were ever weak.  I know beyond any doubt that You claimed Your Father's name and to all the naysayers,  claimed victory in that name.  The blood shed at Calvary was the price.  Your death on the cross was the bill paid in full.  And, for us who watch for Your coming, the resurrection was the gift handed to us freely.  When You have done the work, paid for the parts and labor....why can't I accept the fact that the gift is mine.  That victory is mine.  What is that song title...."God said it, I Believe It....and that Settles IT For ME!" ?  That Lord, is my song today.  And, to confirm it....I will go look it up....play and sing it after I finish this letter.  Lord, it amazes me how childlike I find myself to  be.  Is it because Your plan for us is supposed to be simple enough for a child to understand?  And, because we are grown up....we think we have to put this religious spin on everything to appear God-anointed.  Lord, help me to grow into the icon of spiritual-ness that You want ME to be. ( Is it  possible, Lord? )  You know who I minister to....who listens to me....who watches my behavior.  All of that.  And, Lord....my hope is to always point to You.  To always look to You....because I know that is where my solace is.  And, mostly to obey Your calling to me....even when I don't want to.  Going.  Doing.  Being.  Listening.  Not talking....just listening.  Your plan.  Your way.  Your time.   Do I make any sense to You today?
Okay....I won't worry about that.  You!  You are God.  You are all I'm living for!  I am speaking today to You .....asking for Your will to be realized in my life.....and I pray all in the name of Jesus.  Lord....help me remember what I just prayed. Sometimes, Lord....I berate myself for the words I use to express my heart thoughts.....or even for the thoughts I think.  Help me to forever realize that You love ME.   Help me to learn Your wisdom for this day.  Amen.

"In the Light of Your Presence....I Live!"

Good morning, Lord.  I can't seem to concentrate on any devotional this morning.  My eye's are barely focusing and I can't seem to make myself entertain anything You have for me this morning.  Now is when I have to stop and just turn to my best resource.  Barring any interjection from the wiles of satan, I come to You and hope for the light of day and Your presence overwhelming me.  I know You have a plan for me today.  Help me see where I can serve You today.  Give me Your wisdom.  Allow me Your favor today.  Lift this weight off of my mind.  Show me the power You arrayed before the disciples when You arose from Your sleep and commanded the sea to be still.  Lord, Your power to cease operations if and when You choose to is so overwhelming it is hardly believable.  You know though, Lord....I do believe it with no problem.  You have been so good......in the time when You walked the earth as we do....and now as You look down from Your Fathers right hand....we live under Your merciful eyes.  So much evil goes on.  The sadness and heartbreak that flows in and out of the lives of Your people is enough to put us in the ground.  Very often, Lord.....too often.....people would rather be dead than to deal with the sadness in their lives.  I remember looking at my friend one day and she quickly said to my "I'm so sorry!"........"If you hear I die tonight,  don't cry for me.....there are some things worse than death."  And Lord.....I knew she was broken.  And, I also knew I could do nothing to ease the pain.  Sometimes people don't want to be hugged....or even feel they deserve it.   Or, even feel they deserve your prayers.  Lord, those times are the ones that show us that we are so totally dependent on Your power to lift our souls to another place.  A place that is a little closer to You, I think.  That transcendent area You place us in until we can walk again. I've been there, Lord.  It is an area of peace....and it did make me stronger while I was there.  We are so loved by You.  And, so often we are allowed only that fact.  That You love us....in and out of pain.  I am so blessed to have You to listen to my pleas.  Grant me this day the strength I need to lift, to help, to pray.  Father, as sometimes happens.....my head still aches.  My eyes are still not clear.....but, I am blessed today and thank you for that.  I speak all in the name of Jesus and will to be done....in all....the good and the bad.  Your will, Lord.  And always....  Your plan.  Amen."

"On Christ.....The Solid Rock: I Will Stand!"

Father....today is one of those days.  I have a list of people here in front of me that I should connect with. I have jobs to fulfill.  I have running to do that may put me in a place where I'll have to inter-act with someone.  And....that is always a place I am not crazy about going to.  Okay, I know.  We talk about this occasionally.  But, it seems to me the conversation is a bit one-sided.  Lord, I wish you would literally shove me out the door.  Sometimes I think that is the only way I will be forced to contend with society and be an instrument for You.  I spend so much time housebound that when it is time to go into the world I am a scared rabbit.  You must show me how to be the best I can be.  I realize I have a ministry to do for You.  I'm not sure if I am doing less than You expect of me or not.  My nerves take a beating.  My heart pounds for the obscurity of expectations.  Only You can give me peace.  I do know that my hope is built on  nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness.  I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus' name.  Because.....On Christ, the solid Rock I stand.....all other ground is sinking sand. Yes, indeed....all other ground, is sinking sand.  And, of course, that sinking sand is where satan wants me to be.  Struggling to walk....tired of it all....too weak to take another step.  That is when he comes to me, assuring me that "he knows how I feel.....and following Christ sure does take its toll on a body and its okay to sit down (in that sinking sand) and wait 'til you have caught your breath awhile."  Lord, defeat that disgusting plague in my life that makes me almost believe him.  He is a liar.  He is out to defeat anything I feel I have  ever won victory over.  He almost certainly presents me with this defeatist attitude that threatens to wear me down and I fall for it. Almost every time.   I , who should absolutely know better.  I, who, preach to my ladies in Sunday School.....on a regular basis...."Watch out for the tricks of satan.....he's out to get us.  Us.  Seeking out the weakest among us to devour us."  Yeah, I know....Lord.  I have learned that when I speak about him out-loud....he takes offence to my referencing him in such a negative way.  And, I know, that is when he tries another tactic to throw me off my game.....and I tend to fall for it.  My armour.  Where is it?  There.... at the foot of my bed, where I laid it when I went to bed last night.  If I get up and forget it, the day starts and I have headed out to do the day (whether it is a few loads of wash, changing the bed, cleaning the toilets, or washing my hair) without the holy presence of God protecting me.  That helmet is probably the most important thing  for me to remember.  I need that extra special bit of protection.  My mind works overtime way too often....and what I come up with is so outrageous that I know it's satans work. Lord .....sometimes I do feel that You do have Your work cut out for You with my spiritual well-being.....but, I know I am not alone.  Many feel this way.  Many struggle as I do.  I have heard their stories too.  Right now, though....I need to feel Your pulling me up again to face the work ahead for today.  I will determine to get that armour on and head out to make sure that what I can do for You today, is done....and I can make a difference today in being the instrument for You that You need me to be.  For this day....I ask all in Your name.  The name of Jesus.  Amen.

Forbid it Lord that I Should gain...unless I Change!

Lord, I just wrote  to you a little bit ago in my composition book.....and then,   I always wonder when I have this urge to write to You "out-loud" if I am trying to impress somebody.  I am so sick of trying to figure out why I do what do.   You, dear One.... are the One that I aim to impress....if that is even  possible.  I seem to be in consistent need to be found worthy.  Lord, I am never sure why.  I do not know if it is a genetic predisposition or a fluke of nature.  You know, Lord.....I've read book  after book on the subject.  Okay, I know....I know.  I've actually only  read parts of books.  Nothing I see ever speaks to me on how to cut this out of my psyche.  The only thing I've read and heard is from Dr. Phil.  Don't laugh, Lord.  "He tells it like it is!"  You know how he talks.  He says something like....."So, what's the payoff you get for ....." however you are behaving.  Lord, all I can say is....."Uh.....somebody is noticing what I am doing and making a comment about it?"  Is that what it has all come down to Lord?  Somebody.....anybody.....noticing?  I am not a fan.  I don't like it.  And, I don't want it to be a part of my makeup anymore.  And, since I cannot seem to fix it.....You're going to have to.  And, I give You permission to re-route, re-configure, and reboot my internal thought processes.  I need to retain Your word in my heart and mind.  It is the truest form of staying on Your good side, isn't it?  Lord, I love to feel close to You.....most of the time.  I love knowing that You are always watching me and listening......most of the time.  I love to feel the nudge I get when I have truly messed up a plan that You had expected me to make good use of....and failed to.  I do love it even when I say I'm annoyed with You......because I know that when You are  pleased with how I have honored You in my conversation and comings and goings.....I know then, that You can use me as Your instrument.  I will wait then....and hope and believe that the matters that seem so important....and what appears to have been a failure.....well, when turned over to You, will eventually turn out to be for Your glory (to shine) and our good  (to teach).  Search me then, Oh God.....since You know my heart and mind.....see if there be any way in me that is not worthy of You.....that You would consider and pronounce "sin".....show me Your glory Lord in freeing me of any encumbrance that would keep me from doing and living in Your complete will for me.  I ask in Your name, Lord.  The name of Jesus....and will. Amen.

Peace in The Midst of a Storm? PRAY!

" 'Til the Storm Passes By"......that's what the song says Lord!  And, except for the residue left from the blowing, howling wind....and flooded areas around us.....we are safe.  Thank you for watching over us. Thank you for the power of Your mighty hand, lifting us up and keeping us out of danger, and then letting us down when its safe again.  I read the devotional readings I have at my hand.....and some just do not sink in.  It is unreal to me how the scriptures we read affect our emotional and spiritual selves so very differently.  What  I see and what speaks to me is often so different from what others understand.  And, Lord.....I find that so often I defer to what someone else sees  in a scripture......often believing that what I saw in it  "must be wrong".  At this age  I need to have more sense.  Lord....You have got to show me what You want me to see.....and then, help me to hold fast to what I think, too.  Lord, I am always wishing I was like someone else.  Why do I do that?  Why do I feel that way?  I always try to "fix" that and make statements that require someones attention.....and then the "second-guessing" begins until I have practically   lost complete sight of what I thought You wanted me to know  in the first place.  I wonder what kind of man Oswald Chambers was.  What kind of personality did he have?  Did he have to ask everyone elses opinion?   Sometimes I feel  he was so heavenly minded he was way above what any of us could understand......and yet.....and even today I read his words and see exactly what he was trying to say....and believe it too!  And, Lord if what he said in today's devotional is true for the mass then it does surprise me and I am glad I am not in that number that waits and waits before they ask for Your help.   I believe in Your words.  When you express in Your word that it is vital to ask and receive....I, (eventhough I hesitate at times) do ask You to lift me.....or fill me......or help me....or give me wisdom.....or change my heart.  No one can ever do for us what You can do.  Thankfully, as he expressed in his writing, I do not wait until I am at my wit's end.  I have.  I admit that.  But, mostly, I don't.  I need you and quite freely  admit that I want You to know I will forevermore ask You to give me wisdom.  I could care less that I would appear as a child.  I know that is where You can really meet me.  So often it feels necessary to "have all my ducks in a row" before I come and talk to You so I don't appear so needy....I have learned that YOU DO NOT NEED MY HELP.  Lord, that is wonderful.  Who do I think I am anyway?   You are God.  You do not need my piddly offerings of ideas to fix things!  I cannot believe I actually try that with You.  But, there are times that I do and I praise You and thank You for kindly not screaming at me to "shut it".  The barrage You often hear must be like a whiney calf or a dripping faucet.  Lord,  I will work on that.  I do not think I am alone. I think there are quite a few of us that think  You have it wrong .  Really, Lord.....I hesitate to admit it.  But, I do.  And, then, of course, I look up...."  ....at whence cometh my help....." and know that You do all things well.....and I finally defer to Your wisdom.  When You can allow me to have that peace and choose to give it to me.....I can relax and finally believe that I have that peace that passes all understanding. Explaining that to someone is next to impossible.  No one can "get it" unless they have experienced it.  It  is wonderfully amazing.  Thank You, Lord.....for the peace we can have in the midst of a storm.  I love living for You.  I praise You today and bless Your name.  I ask all in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Blessings: 47 Years Worth!

I will contend Lord....that I have no need to repeat or redo a letter I wrote to You last year on our anniversary.  No one could ever understand my thought process.  To even re-read what I wrote to You last year is a chapter I've never read in any book on picking a husband.  Thank You, Father.  I know that You chose this man I call husband.  He is as great today as he was last year.  You have blessed us.  The church that has employed us has chosen to bless us by giving us another 4 year call.  Honestly, Lord....I am blessed....but , I feel old some days.  Too old to keep trying to be sweet all the time.  Oops....that slipped out.  I wish it were easier.  I end a lot of my conversations on the telephone with that. " Be sweet, now!"  I think it's an important attribute.  Is that an attribute?  I don't know.  It is a good habit though. I want to keep that spirit alive.  All these past days, my birthday,  my husbands birthday, our anniversary....all of them point me to the year on the calendar.  I'm the same age my dad was when he died.  It's sobering to think that I am "that age" when people think...."Wow!  I can't believe you're that old!"  I just connected with my friend from college, Lord.  She is a knock-out!  And, she's my age....I'd like to know what happened to me.  I have been eating right.  (Okay, most of the time I eat right!  I told You I can't do this alone.  Okay, I know......it's not your fault.)  But, she told me I looked like Meryl Streep and I was beautiful.....shoot, Lord.....I don't want  to look like Meryl Streep.  I want to look like her!  Okay, I realize I'm just being silly.....but I have begun to feel a little old.  Could you please perk me up a little?  You are my rock and my salvation.....I should not fear what is ahead.  I want to live as an example for You.  Yes.  You are the Lord of us all.  Some are in better shape than others.  Some live in terrible surroundings.  Dangerous places.  Some are in need of medical help.  Some need a place to lay their head.  Some are wishing they were dead.  Lord.....in my life; I was able to enjoy a home with parents that loved me and taught me all of the principles of our faith that I know even today.....I have been able to enjoy the love and admiration of one man that You placed in my life.  He had to overdo his display of affection for me with cards and gifts .... just to get my attention....but, I am blessed because of that.  Our children and their families are such special blessings to us.  You give.  You love.  You forgive.  You allow us to have what we want even when it is not in our best interest.....especially when we demand.   You also hold us and love us  when we realize you were right and we should have deferred to You.  Lord Jesus.....my life is in You.  My hope is in You.  My heart may fail me....but You, Lord.....are all I need.  And, You will make all things well.  Thank You Father, I defer to You, always.  I know better.  (Atleast I do today!)  Help me Lord....You see what is ahead.  Give me Your wisdom.  You know how I will behave.  Stop me from making any mistake that will ruin Your plan for me.  (Lord, I've found myself dusting myself off after I have fallen  on my face.)  You know how to stop me better than anyone I know.  I can forget what key I'm playing in before I go to the next verse.  Or, looking for a ......word.  Just one word can elude me.....and I will forget the whole thought.  Yeah....Lord!  It's embarrassing....but , You know how to stop me and that is exactly what I need for You to do.  Hopefully, I will be wiser as I call on You. I consistently need Your presence to overwhelm my spirit.  For today Lord.....and as I write I see that is isn't August 22nd anymore.  It is the day after my anniversary now.  Thank You Father....for another year to enjoy our life together.  You have provided me with Your favor, I believe.  In the name of Jesus I pray.  Amen.

See Archive: August 22, 2010

When I Am Tempted.....You Are Enough!

Oh, Lord....You know me so well.  You always know.  Most of the time, I can mask how I really feel to others.  I hate for people to know I'm such a basket case.  Feeling like there are "white coats" around the corner to carry me off is almost .....well, how about I move on?
 Lord, yesterday there was another one. They seem to be coming fast and furious these days.  (I am on this quest to stop the "three" thing.)  This gentleman that has now been ushered into your presence, was a man, to all of the same opinion, a great example for you....a decorated soldier....a trusted friend and confidant.  Lord, I often have the same question for You.  Why do these that labor in love for You, end up in such a dilapidated state?  It is so sad at times to think they know  how "they have ended up" and are dejected at the state they are in.  I have seen, heard and witnessed the sadness of so many who die and go on to the reward You have created....and I (whom you already know has 25 questions) am left to wonder....is it just too trivial for me to worry about the trails of food left on bedclothes after a meal....or the unkempt hair....or .....well, Lord, it all sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?  It's obvious I want to go out "in queenly fashion" isn't it?  Okay, Lord.  I'm going to give all of that to You, again.  I have worried about "being a NICE old lady" (and even prayed You will make it so..)  but I haven't thought about all of the other aspects of old age.  (Please make sure someone is careful to pluck the occasional chinny-chin protruberances.)  I hate that, You know! ( Also, I would also like to be positioned so I don't look like I have 3 chins.)  Lord, when life is falling apart around me and I can think these unimportant issues....makes me wonder if I am all there.  Well, You above all know me....and so You know that too.   I will leave it all with You. 
I remember being so careful to make sure everyone who took care of Mom knew what a elegant, classy lady she was.  I wanted to fix her hair like she always fixed it.....I wanted to make sure lotions were applied faithfully....her skin was so soft and pretty.  Her hair didn't need any color applied.  As the years faded the auburn color, she had such a beautiful shade of hair color....actually not easily described.  The fact that when she died ,   she had no nose, was overlooked.  I really didn't even notice it  because the beauty of Jesus was shining through.  I know Father, that You and Your presence was surrounding us all and did that particular work of art.  How awesome You truly are.  As in the devotional I read this morning....I will believe and continue to lean on the fact that YOU, dear One, are enough.  In every question I have....whether it is foolish or not.....I will contend always, that You are enough.  Isaiah 46:3b-4 says to me....."You whom I have upheld since you were concieved and have carried since your birth...even to your old age and  gray hairs, I AM HE.....I AM HE WHO WILL SUSTAIN YOU....I HAVE MADE YOU AND I WILL CARRY YOU.  I WILL SUSTAIN YOU AND RESCUE YOU."  Lord, how can I not leave it with You and believe that ALL will be well and the worries I have are not worthy of worry?  How You will do this is up to You.  I have no suggestions.  (I am sure that probably surprises you!)  You, who knew when to place the moon and the sun, the stars that twinkle.....surely knows the desires of my heart and the hope of seeing You one day.  That is what is important.  I do know that.  And, Lord....I will leave it to Your plan.
 Thank You Lord, for the healing touch You have provided for those we have prayed for this week.....thank You for the presence of Your peace as we have waited....and Lord, could You once more, grant me the favor I am deserving of today.  I hesitate to even say it outloud....You know my thought process....and how I literally do not understand the depth of Your love for me....I  only accept what You say.  So, and once again, I ask for Your divine will and all I plead for to be done in the name of Jesus.  Until I ask for more.....I say amen.

How Do I Love You More? "Ask", You say?

Good morning, Father!  I am so happy to be here....talking to You.  I feel so grateful for Your touch on my life.  I am so blessed and I do not ever want to take that for granted.  You have allowed me to have so much.  Even though it is not mine, You provide a home for my husband and I to live in.  It is nice....and a comfort to us.  A sanctuary of sorts, I guess.  We both walk in and feel...safe. Perusing the channels the other day, I saw so many displaced individuals sleeping on the ground.....no safe place to go....tears of sadness and frustration because they are in danger of dying from the hands of evil men or no food.  Lord, to live where there is little worry of those hardships is a blessing.  I could be on another side of the world, wondering if we'll be alive by end of day.  Lord, wherever I am....I love knowing that You are by my side.  That You are guiding my hand.....and giving me wisdom when I need it the most.  Of course, I often sidestep the fact that it is vital for me to ask.  Help me to to take Your Word....and then, never forget that it is sharper than a double edged sword. That it is there for my benefit.  It is to be a comfort to me.  The writers You inspire to tell their stories in the devotionals I love to read .....show me just how You love to inspire our lives.....how we all are so much alike (actually more alike than different),  and how the evil one trys to destroy what we have tried to build with You.  It annoys me when I realize that just one distrustful , deceitful, evil word from him.....and I tend to fold.  I feel at times that the fetal position I am in, is par for my course in life.  I don't want to be there, Lord.  I need to interact with You continually.  And, therein lies my dilemna.  Because, I don't interact with You continually. Not like I should.   The scripture says something about "praying always....".  Lord, I know I breathe prayers throughout a day.....You know.....my "SOS's"......but, that is not enough.  Lord, You and I need to connect daily.  Sometimes, I hit the end of the day and realize that I have not had much communion with You. (Too often I realize that is where the depleted ,  emotion-less feelings are created). Yet, I feel Your presence surrounding me....urging me....lifting me.....encouraging me. And,  even when Your coffee needs warming up....and I forget and leave you because I've run off to put out a fire somewhere.....You go and help Yourself,  fill Your own cup, and You're waiting there when I get back.  Lord....how do You love me?  Let me count the ways.   I am overwhelmed by Your promise to never leave us or forsake us......and I realize that is until we cut You out of our lives by an act of our own will.  How blessed I am to know You personally as my own Savior and friend.  I have spent time reading and studying Your plans for me this week.  I do tend to backpeddle when I think You want more from me than I can give.  I promise not to argue.  I will call on the name of the Lord....since You are my strong tower.  I will obey.  I found the one devotional especially poignant.....and never realized I could ask You to help ME to LOVE YOU MORE!  It seems so .....self-serving?  Is that the word?  Far be it from me to try to analyze something like this.  I am just going to do it.  I really  believe You gave it to me personally....and I will do it.  I remember when You gave me "Lord, Change Me!" by Evelyn Christenson.  I had never read anything like it and believed it was written just for me.....and Lord, You know I have lived that formula for many, many years.  It has been my salvation, over and over again.  So.....Lord, You do have Your work cut out for You.  I am asking for this love.  The author said "insatiable love".  I barely understand that but I am going for that.  This from someone who found it difficult to say, "I love You, Lord!" to Your face.  (I said before that we , as women are more alike than different......I'm sure I am alone here.....no one else is this weird).  Anyway, Lord.....since You know me best.....and understand me best.....and love me through it all.....I find myself leaning on You again....asking for Your blessing and all I need.....in Your name and will.
I love You, Lord.....and lift my voice to worship You.....take joy my King....in what You hear.....may it be a sweet , sweet sound in Your ear.   Amen and Amen.

"....even when I fail.....You love me! "

Sorry, Lord.....I really am.....sorry. I have avoided You this week. I haven't felt much like talking.

And, then.....after I go through a week....I am depleted and empty. No matter what I read. No matter who I see. No matter who I have to go talk to ......there seems to be nothing special that speaks to me......nothing. I look into Your wise words and they seem to bounce off the wall like a ball that has no air in it that just drops to the floor. I am sick inside. I know, Lord. It's the way life is at times. I have thought so much about mom's this week. Friends from church have stood by the bedside of their wife and mother this week. They watched her stand on the edge of the Jordan just dipping her toe in the water....(she's afraid of the water, Lord, but You know that) wondering if she should go ahead and go. Her health has been tenuous for so long. She has fought to live. I am numb. Another mother; a missionary and warrior for you... left this world to see all she has waiting for her in heaven. My friend; and her daughter.... buried her yesterday. Another friend is doing all she can to show her daughter how much she loves her even when the choices made are not wise ones. I have not one word of profound advice to give her. (Thank You Lord....for showing me the importance of keeping my mouth shut.) Lord....the silent tears are the ones that speak a special language to You. They are a dialect only You know. I have another friend who is watching her mother try desperately to hang onto her health and her pride. You know, Lord.....I know that I am going to be in that place some day. I'm going to be trying to hold tight to my little possessions and my dignity and wondering if anyone notices that I'm too old to be trusted to do anything alone. I know the days ahead may be filled with sorrow.....and then maybe not so much...You do know what I can handle. But Lord....how do I face what is coming? The power of the unknown wears me out. So, I am thinking that satan jumps all over that and pours it on. I love knowing that You are always lifting me out of that familiar pit. I'm not sure I fall into it on purpose or not. I am grateful though that You continue to stop what You are doing and come to rescue me. I am so very thankful that I can call on You and You do give me guidance. I guess what bothers me is that I tend to "hole" myself up and peruse the obituaries. Please Lord, give me a reprieve. Show me how to keep from moving into sorrow and worry of what is ahead. Help me to concentrate on the power of Your words. Scripture is an awesome tool....but , the devil knows scripture too and used it on You Lord. Of course, You knew how to handle him. With Your power and strength there for the asking.....I can call on You to save me. The part that gets me into trouble though, Lord....is the part where I don't feel like talking. And, yet You acknowlege our groanings and utterances that are unknown even to our own selves. Lord....I need that. The Shove. Remember that, Lord? I can take it from You. I think.

I'm gonna' do better. I promise. Okay, now that I have gotten that out of my system, I feel better.

Lord....all I have asked and given over to Your will, I ask in the name of Jesus. Amen.

KEEPING THE "VICTORY IN JESUS" !

Lord, Right now.....all I can say is "Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! We asked. And, You gave and now we know, it was all YOUR plan, all along! The ministry You sent us yesterday was so fulfilling and rich we know YOU knew how we (my husband and I) needed it. You sent a part of Your very Self to us....and we are blessed and enriched because of it. (Lord....could You help us (me, especially!) not to lose sight of the goal we vowed to You. The ministry of David Ring has touched me in such a unique way, Lord. And, I know my husband feels the same way. From the very first time we heard him speak on television......to yesterday, when we were able to touch him.....Lord.....You have chosen a servant for You that is incomparable to any other. Thank You for rescuing him from the pit of depression and fear. Thank You for showing him how very much You loved him. Thank You for showing him that he was worthy of your love. Thank You for showing him the power of the resurrection. Thank You for giving Him a song.....and the courage to sing it. Lord, what I love is that even when we are overcome with sadness and grief, You can and will give us a song to sing.....and provide the strength to sing it when we actually feel all is lost.....and then, to sing it a little longer when we see THE situation is basically the same............and, wonder of wonders, we are still humming the tune. It is totally amazing to me how YOU do that! But, I don't need to know.....all I care is that You keep doing it. We need You to give us that power on a daily basis....and Lord, I know You will.....I just don't always think I should ask......all the time for the same thing, over and over. But, You promised. And, it is foolish for me not to ask You to provide the sustinance to spiritually survive , with "Victory in Jesus".....when I am commanded to , in the scriptures. Lord, You are such a good God.....even when I do not understand.....and can fly into one of my "righteous anger" moments....and then I take a breath.....and there You are, gently and lovingly saying, "Come unto Me , all ye that are weary and heavy laden"......"forgive and You will be forgiven"..."love Your enemies"....."pray for those that despitefully use you".....and so much more. I am reminded then, and ammend my ways, quickly! Lord, I praise You for pushing me. It is not in "trying but in trusting".......it's not in "weeping but in waiting".....it's not in "wondering but in praying" that we (I) can find the strength in You to keep going, with "Victory in Jesus". I am always going to be in Your debt, Lord. But, that is where I want to be. "Call me, guide me, use me , fill me......I give my life.....to the Potter's Hand." In all I say, Lord......I contend that all is in the name and timing of Jesus, my Lord and Savior. Amen and Amen, again.

"Once again...At the cross, I bow my knee..."

What I really need to do is count the number of requests I have for You today, Lord. There are too many for me to deal with. I try. But, I can't do this. Yesterday, I had chosen a song for our congregation to sing. It's a new one. And, because of time and the tiresome heat issue....I decided to omit it. For today though, it's foremost in my thoughts. Listen, Lord! Here is my
prayer....."O Lord, You've searched me...You know my way....even when I fail You....I know You
love me.....Your holy presence....surrounding me...in every season....I know You love me. I know
You love me. At the cross I bow my knee....where Your blood was shed for me....there's no
greater love than this....You have overcome the grave....Your glory fills the highest place...what
can separate me now. You go before me....You shield my way. Your hand upholds me. I know
You love me.....". And, so it goes. It tells me, Lord, that You know my way. You know what is
up ahead for me to deal with. You know how I will manage each thing. I need You to shut down the issues that overwhelm me and smother me with worry. So often, my need to alleviate the
pressures on others tend to fall into the tentacles of the evil one and I find myself wrapped in the
net of suspicion and anxiety. Please Lord....take care of me and my need to get two steps ahead
of the questions that may arise. I always have had this need to show others I have a handle on
things....that I am "ready for action"....that I can .....that I can.....that I can.....ad nauseum. Lord,
You have searched me. You know my way....(mostly because You saw me being formed in my
Mother's womb.....) even when I fail You (and others,
because I am human)....I know You love me. And, so.....at Your cross I bow my knee, where
Your blood was shed for me....there is NO GREATER LOVE than this. That You care about the
issues that are ahead for me is enough for me. I will cling to this cross, Lord, believing that Your
love and understanding will calm the waters of my anxious mind. I tend to stir the storms that
arise with all of my "borrowing trouble". I suppose it is innate. I want to blame it on something.
Help me Father to be the warrior for You I should be. I always feel I need to be carrying a
weapon....just to ward off the impressions satan implants. Well, okay. I've got it. The Word of
God is as powerful as a double-edged sword.....isn't it, Lord? Then, let's begin using it. Lord,
You used it against the devil Yourself, didn't You? Yes, You did. And, I know that I am able to
call on the Word of God to access the same power. And, so....Lord, I invite You to overwhelm
me with Your words....giving me the confidence to walk into any area of sadness or contention and plead the blood of Jesus. O, Lord....You know me....and You still love me. What a wonderful
gift I have been given. Sweet peace....the gift of God's love. Thank You, dear One. I speak
the name of Jesus in all I ask, think and hope. Amen."

The Fruits of the Spirit....I Can Do it!

Lord, I feel so bothered. When I feel so overwrought, I try to separate each thing and analyze it
until I become more bothered. Then, I know it's time to sit it all at your feet. Could you help me? Would You? I am always annoyed with myself Lord, when the stuff of life wears me down.
Isn't it just life? We just went to honor two of our friends. We pray for and hold the wives of those who have died and mourn with them....and await a phone call about a third. It comes. Lord, I don't like that. Why do events seemingly happen in three's? It appears to be an old wives tale....or however that is phrased. I actually was trying to look it up in scripture to see if
there was a Biblical reference to it. I don't think it should be like that. And, therein....is the
beginning of my angst, Lord. As I entertain those thoughts, I find myself annoyed too with what appears to be SO important to some and little bother to others. It seems that the mantel you hold for all of us is so all encompassing that I do not understand why You put up with us at all.
Each of us has the capability of understanding a certain amount....okay, Lord.....I am talking about me. I have the capability of understanding a certain amount....don't I? But, then....what happens when there is more that you need me to know? I'm not sure I can handle anymore. I
want you to know that I will do all in my power to learn and grow as much as You want me to.
You see, I'm not interested in being so heavenly minded that I am no earthly good. I want to be
understood as I understand. I want to be real. I want the fact that You were born to a virgin
Mother....grew to be a profound and authentic minister of the gospel. One who was ridiculed, persecuted
and crucified.....rose again to prove You were indeed, the Son of God to be the foundation of my
story. I want the stories of the inspired scriptures to be the nurturing of each of the building
blocks of my life. And, then Lord......I want the fruits of the spirit to be evident in my life....over-
whelming me and anyone who looks at me can see. The subject will not be up for debate. There
will be no question.....No matter how differently people view a subject for discussion.....None.
Is that possible, Lord? The scripture says...."but the fruits of the Spirit....love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.....against such there is no
law....." from Gal. 5:22. Lord, as I look at each of those attributes I think to myself...."Can I do
this?" I know that we are not usually pushed to the point of no-return most days. It is the one
time we find our spirit wanting to drift alittle outside the arc of safety that is so dangerous. Just
one time I'd like to let loose......and then, sanity knocks on the door of my mind....and You save
me just in the knick of time. Lord, stand guard at that door . Do not deter. If You have to go for a minute, send someone to guard me carefully. My prayer is to make You proud. My prayer is to not let You down, especially when You are depending on me. Give me Your power, Father.
I cannot do it alone. And, for this.....and all that I lay at Your feet....I ask it all in the name of
Jesus. Amen. P.S. Lord, I just thought of the best scenario for my "Why do things happen in
three's?" The best result for me is: Father. Son. Holy Spirit. End of story! Amen. I feel better.