Lord, a few months ago I made a pact with a friend that we would do our devotional time with You before we got into other areas of "time consumption" on the internet or daily habits. I think we both have been successful. I insist on continuing this (almost) habit. I want my first order of the day to be some face to face time with You. I have entertained several good devotionals this week. Each one speaking to the issues everyone has to deal with at some time in our lives......and/or...... over and over and over. Slow learner? I wish I could say I wasn't but I can't. Dr. Phil says.....(sorry, Lord!) ......to repeat the same behavior and expect a different result is ......well, I can't remember what he says it is. I call it "The Human Condition".......and stupid, to boot. Lord, why can't we grow strong and effective in Your Word and stop the "Two Steps Forward and One Back" behavior? I really think I can, Lord. How about we start today. Soooo......here I am, sitting on the couch with my coffee.......writing. There's nothing wrong with that......is there? I love writing to You "just about" all of the time. I love to commune with You. I love thanking You for the gifts You've given me.......the blessings, some never even prayed for. Just an overwhelming abundance of Your mercy and grace. I am blessed. And, I am so aware of it......I guess......most of the time. See? There it is. That inner edge of sarcasm that allows a little wiggle room to think about the "What if's". I don't like that. It's not a blessing to have that idling around in my mind. I am sort of wishing my mind would just shut off when I start doing that.
Everytime we stop at a red light, we have to turn the air off, otherwise the car will stall. Sometimes we forget to turn the air back on and we are just stifling hot.....until we crank the knob to full blast! Lord, I think I need to have this mental knob to turn off the issues that satan loves to flood the mind with. Some are so non-sensical.....some are serious.....some are evil. And, Lord.....since our adversary is such a stifling reality, I have to be ready at a moments notice to speak the name of Jesus through the verses of scripture I have retained or hymns and spiritual songs that I know. He will flee. The engine of my soul will not sputter and quit running. It will be smooth sailing. Well, almost. You know, Lord....when I am assured You are at the helm.....I have no worries. I know You know the route You are taking me on ......and the pitfalls that could change the direction of this ship of mine.....but, I have given You permission to make the journey for me. Sometimes I do wish You didn't allow me so much freedom. I would probably gripe though, if You didn't. I just am amazed at what a "slow learner" I seem to be. Could You help me work on that? I'd like to feel that after all You have done for me, I could bless You by assuring You that I am listening to You and working hard. My intention is to see You Lord. My intention is to watch You go down the list with Your finger and then stopping, looking up to see my anxious face awaiting Your nod to my name being in the Book and your affirmation to enter the gate. Thats what my life is about. So, I end with the resolve to make this day a special one. One where I can worship and work at the same time......after I reheat this cup of coffe that has gotten cold. I praise You for the power of Your Word to assure me.....and the gifted authors that write the devotionals that inspire me. Jesus, You are the answer......and a gift.
I pray and ask for all in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
"Include Me In Your Prayers"
I am antsy today, Lord. I cannot get anything accomplished until I write. You are such a solace to me.
I can breathe. I can relax. I can see some light. Just positioning my hands on the keyboard and tapping out these words to you makes me feel better. I have noticed such pain in my wrist and thumb when I write anymore....I am glad I have a computer that I can punch out my words with. I've talked with a couple of my girls today so far.....I've written a Thank-You note (two weeks late).....showered, dressed, made my bed.....and just want to talk to You. After losing my first attempt at my blog letter.....I always wonder if You are trying to save my neck because I just typed some useless fodder. You know, though....what I feel and say to You when I write are always of concern to You. I know it. I thank You for being that One that listens to the sorrows, pains, concerns and joys of my heart. When we can enjoy that kind of fellowship, Lord....there is nothing better. I found it so odd the day that lady came to our door asking us for "advice" about a concern she had. I remember asking if she had prayed. Lord, I couldn't believe it when she said she thought she should only consult You for the BIG things. ( You should be so lucky, Lord!) When I heard that I immediately felt guilty for the anxious prayers about parking spots and paint colors! I didn't agonize about it too much, Lord. If I have something that concerns me.......I know that it concerns You. Lord, that was 30 years ago or more. I still am uneasy about bugging You with everything.....but, it goes away :) and You get it all. After our recent trip to New York State to attend a family funeral, I found myself questioning the issues of concern to everyone who is living a distance from their family. When You go back to visit......the changes that have occurred are often so life-altering you can't believe your eyes. I wonder, too often, I suppose.....how our lives will _____. Uh....You know what, Lord? I think since I already wrote this and You perused my concerns......I will leave it all to You. Repeating it is not necessary. I consecrated myself to You long ago. I just want to make the choices that please You....and ones that will let me be the instrument for you that plays the most beautiful music. Whether it is piano, horn or drum. It's all for Your glory. Lord, the joy of singing the song Sunday with the praise team was so fulfilling."Ever Interceding". I am grateful for the fact that You , dear One, intercede for us. I remember looking that word up once making sure I was using it correctly. To believe that You go to Your Father, pleading for our salvation, securing our future and all of the in between concerns.......I can hardly believe that You ask Him to give me mercy and forgiveness and favor.....and grace, too. Lord.....even thinking that You weep together for what could have been humbles me to submission in anything You ask me to do.
I have not always made the wisest decisions, here and there, but , when I placed all of the pieces of a broken dream in Your hands.....You presented back to me a piece so beautiful and rare, I am forever amazed. Obstinacy obviously runs in the family. "Being right" apparently does too. When I present those flaws to You......and ask for Your divine design and favor for my life.....Oh, dear Lord....give me the nudge to pursue all that You intend for me to do. For all that I have discussed and asked for.....I ask in the name of Jesus. Thank You once again. And, again. Amen.
I can breathe. I can relax. I can see some light. Just positioning my hands on the keyboard and tapping out these words to you makes me feel better. I have noticed such pain in my wrist and thumb when I write anymore....I am glad I have a computer that I can punch out my words with. I've talked with a couple of my girls today so far.....I've written a Thank-You note (two weeks late).....showered, dressed, made my bed.....and just want to talk to You. After losing my first attempt at my blog letter.....I always wonder if You are trying to save my neck because I just typed some useless fodder. You know, though....what I feel and say to You when I write are always of concern to You. I know it. I thank You for being that One that listens to the sorrows, pains, concerns and joys of my heart. When we can enjoy that kind of fellowship, Lord....there is nothing better. I found it so odd the day that lady came to our door asking us for "advice" about a concern she had. I remember asking if she had prayed. Lord, I couldn't believe it when she said she thought she should only consult You for the BIG things. ( You should be so lucky, Lord!) When I heard that I immediately felt guilty for the anxious prayers about parking spots and paint colors! I didn't agonize about it too much, Lord. If I have something that concerns me.......I know that it concerns You. Lord, that was 30 years ago or more. I still am uneasy about bugging You with everything.....but, it goes away :) and You get it all. After our recent trip to New York State to attend a family funeral, I found myself questioning the issues of concern to everyone who is living a distance from their family. When You go back to visit......the changes that have occurred are often so life-altering you can't believe your eyes. I wonder, too often, I suppose.....how our lives will _____. Uh....You know what, Lord? I think since I already wrote this and You perused my concerns......I will leave it all to You. Repeating it is not necessary. I consecrated myself to You long ago. I just want to make the choices that please You....and ones that will let me be the instrument for you that plays the most beautiful music. Whether it is piano, horn or drum. It's all for Your glory. Lord, the joy of singing the song Sunday with the praise team was so fulfilling."Ever Interceding". I am grateful for the fact that You , dear One, intercede for us. I remember looking that word up once making sure I was using it correctly. To believe that You go to Your Father, pleading for our salvation, securing our future and all of the in between concerns.......I can hardly believe that You ask Him to give me mercy and forgiveness and favor.....and grace, too. Lord.....even thinking that You weep together for what could have been humbles me to submission in anything You ask me to do.
I have not always made the wisest decisions, here and there, but , when I placed all of the pieces of a broken dream in Your hands.....You presented back to me a piece so beautiful and rare, I am forever amazed. Obstinacy obviously runs in the family. "Being right" apparently does too. When I present those flaws to You......and ask for Your divine design and favor for my life.....Oh, dear Lord....give me the nudge to pursue all that You intend for me to do. For all that I have discussed and asked for.....I ask in the name of Jesus. Thank You once again. And, again. Amen.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Just Hold His Hand...and Hang on Tight!
The things we encounter in our lives are so hard, Lord. Not all the time, of course.....but, more often than I would like. Too often, though.....I find myself skimming the surface of Your word when "all is well". I know I shouldn't do that....and question my devotional habits. Willing to read more and study more? Too little is often too late. Okay, so to remedy that I should start today.
First.....I thank You for the mountains. And, I thank You for the valley's. And, I thank You for the storms You've brought me through. For if I never had a problem.....how would I know that You could solve it......(?) ....... and , I'd never know what faith in God could do. Through it all......yes, through it all....I've learned to depend on Jesus......I've learned to depend on God. Through it all.....absolutely......unequivocally , I've learned to depend upon You, Lord. No doubt ever that if it were not for my dependence on You, I would be in a tizzy all the time. I have maintained this habit for many years. Yeah.....there are days when someone (most often, husband!) calls me to task(!) but I do depend on your power to supply me with the words I need and use......and then, suppressing my anxious heart to a calmer state. When others are struggling for understanding.....or trying to maintain their sanity in overwhelming situations that come......let me be the instrument for You that will
protect Your words of wisdom to us and give a listening ear. The tongue is far better off to be stilled at this point. So many times, I find myself looking for a "story" from my life that is a close comparison and feel the need to share it. Lord, I really think this is not the time and often a hindrance to the work You need to do.
And, secondly......I defer to You in the areas of life that break my heart. Opinions....mine or anyone
else's are debatable. Your analysis is all I really care about. What to do. How to handle the heartbreaking places in our lives. The conclusions others make about me and the decisions I make. The conclusions I make about the decisions another has made. We handle the sadness's in life very differently, very often. And, I'm not sure, Lord.....but the red tape issues.....the time factors......the "getting-involved-feet-first" mentality.....all of these are different for everyone. Lord, for my family.....for the families that are struggling for answers now......I pray that You, dear One, will provide for each one......what is their own solution. We are so needy, Father. We......rather, I , cannot seem to make a move without You. I sort of really like feeling that You are working "in" and "through me" to the betterment of my life and those I am responsible for.
For the worship I maintain to present each Sunday.....the class I teach....the words I use......make it all benefit Your glory and honor. I praise You, Lord for the power of the word in our lives. I vow , dear One, that I will hold You in high regard and honor You as long as I have breath. When I read through some of the trials and heartbreaking experiences of my life thus far......I can only praise You. I know You lifted me and carried me through much of it......unbeknownst to me......perhaps, all of it. You placed me on the ground to walk on my own when You were sure I could walk along beside You....even a little behind.....making sure, I wouldn't mis-step. Father, You are a gracious God. To think that You talk to Your Father about us and our needs, just touches my heart. The inference that You weep with us when we are broken, makes me want to serve You with all that is within me. Thank You , dear Lord. Thank You for the promise of sins forgiven and a home with You in eternity. I praise Your name.
In the name.....and honor and sweet will of Jesus Christ......I pray. Amen.
First.....I thank You for the mountains. And, I thank You for the valley's. And, I thank You for the storms You've brought me through. For if I never had a problem.....how would I know that You could solve it......(?) ....... and , I'd never know what faith in God could do. Through it all......yes, through it all....I've learned to depend on Jesus......I've learned to depend on God. Through it all.....absolutely......unequivocally , I've learned to depend upon You, Lord. No doubt ever that if it were not for my dependence on You, I would be in a tizzy all the time. I have maintained this habit for many years. Yeah.....there are days when someone (most often, husband!) calls me to task(!) but I do depend on your power to supply me with the words I need and use......and then, suppressing my anxious heart to a calmer state. When others are struggling for understanding.....or trying to maintain their sanity in overwhelming situations that come......let me be the instrument for You that will
protect Your words of wisdom to us and give a listening ear. The tongue is far better off to be stilled at this point. So many times, I find myself looking for a "story" from my life that is a close comparison and feel the need to share it. Lord, I really think this is not the time and often a hindrance to the work You need to do.
And, secondly......I defer to You in the areas of life that break my heart. Opinions....mine or anyone
else's are debatable. Your analysis is all I really care about. What to do. How to handle the heartbreaking places in our lives. The conclusions others make about me and the decisions I make. The conclusions I make about the decisions another has made. We handle the sadness's in life very differently, very often. And, I'm not sure, Lord.....but the red tape issues.....the time factors......the "getting-involved-feet-first" mentality.....all of these are different for everyone. Lord, for my family.....for the families that are struggling for answers now......I pray that You, dear One, will provide for each one......what is their own solution. We are so needy, Father. We......rather, I , cannot seem to make a move without You. I sort of really like feeling that You are working "in" and "through me" to the betterment of my life and those I am responsible for.
For the worship I maintain to present each Sunday.....the class I teach....the words I use......make it all benefit Your glory and honor. I praise You, Lord for the power of the word in our lives. I vow , dear One, that I will hold You in high regard and honor You as long as I have breath. When I read through some of the trials and heartbreaking experiences of my life thus far......I can only praise You. I know You lifted me and carried me through much of it......unbeknownst to me......perhaps, all of it. You placed me on the ground to walk on my own when You were sure I could walk along beside You....even a little behind.....making sure, I wouldn't mis-step. Father, You are a gracious God. To think that You talk to Your Father about us and our needs, just touches my heart. The inference that You weep with us when we are broken, makes me want to serve You with all that is within me. Thank You , dear Lord. Thank You for the promise of sins forgiven and a home with You in eternity. I praise Your name.
In the name.....and honor and sweet will of Jesus Christ......I pray. Amen.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
In The Light of Thy Love, Lord......I Live!
Why is it......why can't I think....unless I make myself sit down and write? It's so odd, Lord. It never seems to keep me from sitting down any other time! Does it? Is it because I have to become quiet before You?
Is it because.....any other time, You can't get a word in edgewise? That bothers me a little. You should always have access to my heart and thoughts. (Feel free to interrupt anytime, Lord!) Even as I age and seem to grow less active , my mind swirls and churns as furious as it always has.
So much has happened. So much has been prayed for and answered. Almost to the point of , "Wow, Lord! I didn't expect that answer so soon!" It's exciting and scary at the same time. There are times in past prayers where I moaned and groaned about wa-i-t-i-n-g forever for an answer from you......and not quite receiving the answer I'd hoped for. And, then.....like never.......! Of course, Lord.....I do know....(on my sane days)......no answer is an answer. Eventually I see how wise You are in being in the driver's seat of my life. Still, after all these years of writing you my angst and yearnings.....I know that placing my need for the resolving of any of my anxieties in Your hands is the one thing I can do that gives me peace.
I have written so much about my mother, lately. I know there are days the devil delights in bringing up issue after issue that plagued me when I was a girl and on into womanhood about my relationship with mom. I have resolved those issues over and over and shook my invisible list at the enemy knowing you have it all at the bottom of the sea......yet still he taunts and scoffs at my efforts to be free.
Today, I celebrate with my daughter and her family at the graduation of her daughter. Unbelievably, she has blossomed into this marvelous young woman headed to a big city college and we're happy and delighted to see her go...sort of. There are a lot of "But's and And's.....along with "How is this possible?" and "When did she grow up? But, Lord.....as I see her ready herself for this new adventure.....I remember so vividly when she was born and had been brought home to her tiny little room her new mommy and daddy and I had created. The season's worst snowstorm and a pretty chilly apartment were all part of the excitement. But, nothing prepared me for the wee hours of the morning when my husband called and told me my mother was in the process of dying in the Rehab Hospital she had been in for several years. I looked down at this tiny bundle I had just fed so her mother could rest and recuperate.....and thought......"What do I do?" I hate to even write it out loud, Lord. I don't think anyone could really understand my heart and desire to be two places at once. I remember, thinking this as my husband and I talked, Lord. I had spent five years attending to the needs of my mom as efficiently as I knew how to do. I prayed desperately for all of that time to be all she needed me to be. I realized that I had done all I could do for her. She was safe.......well cared for.....and on her way to You, Lord. I knew she would be alright. And, so.....I made the decision to stay with my daughter and her precious new little one....and to take care of her. Somehow, I felt that it was where I should be. Also, there was quite a bit of distance to go.....and I knew my dear son-in-law would take me even with the treacherous roads.....but, I didn't regret the decision then. And, I don't regret it now.....it's just that, on occasion, I remember making that decision and question myself over again. Lord, those moments in time where a decision can follow you forever are moments that are best layed at the foot of the cross. I did what I felt was right for my daughter. Until then, all of my energy was taken up with the concerns of my mother's care, health and well-being. When I look at my granddaughter now and see the energy and hope for the future that she exudes, I am so proud of the young woman she has become. She will glow and grow. She will remember the truths of the scripture that have been taught to her as a guide for her to follow. I pray, Father.....that You will give her the wisdom and tenacity to follow the desires of her heart and the plan you have laid out for her. I know You need her in the battle we fight each day. Make her strong and resilient to the wiles of the evil one.
You , Oh Lord.....are the only source of strength and reserve we have. Help me to remember it always. To never give up.....to run the race with the perseverance that Paul did. I want to be that example for as long as You allow me the breath to do so.
For the needs we have.....for the desires of our hearts.....for the things we don't need and just want.....Lord, forgive us for being such a needy lot.....but , grant us Your favor. One more time.
I speak all in the name and will of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Is it because.....any other time, You can't get a word in edgewise? That bothers me a little. You should always have access to my heart and thoughts. (Feel free to interrupt anytime, Lord!) Even as I age and seem to grow less active , my mind swirls and churns as furious as it always has.
So much has happened. So much has been prayed for and answered. Almost to the point of , "Wow, Lord! I didn't expect that answer so soon!" It's exciting and scary at the same time. There are times in past prayers where I moaned and groaned about wa-i-t-i-n-g forever for an answer from you......and not quite receiving the answer I'd hoped for. And, then.....like never.......! Of course, Lord.....I do know....(on my sane days)......no answer is an answer. Eventually I see how wise You are in being in the driver's seat of my life. Still, after all these years of writing you my angst and yearnings.....I know that placing my need for the resolving of any of my anxieties in Your hands is the one thing I can do that gives me peace.
I have written so much about my mother, lately. I know there are days the devil delights in bringing up issue after issue that plagued me when I was a girl and on into womanhood about my relationship with mom. I have resolved those issues over and over and shook my invisible list at the enemy knowing you have it all at the bottom of the sea......yet still he taunts and scoffs at my efforts to be free.
Today, I celebrate with my daughter and her family at the graduation of her daughter. Unbelievably, she has blossomed into this marvelous young woman headed to a big city college and we're happy and delighted to see her go...sort of. There are a lot of "But's and And's.....along with "How is this possible?" and "When did she grow up? But, Lord.....as I see her ready herself for this new adventure.....I remember so vividly when she was born and had been brought home to her tiny little room her new mommy and daddy and I had created. The season's worst snowstorm and a pretty chilly apartment were all part of the excitement. But, nothing prepared me for the wee hours of the morning when my husband called and told me my mother was in the process of dying in the Rehab Hospital she had been in for several years. I looked down at this tiny bundle I had just fed so her mother could rest and recuperate.....and thought......"What do I do?" I hate to even write it out loud, Lord. I don't think anyone could really understand my heart and desire to be two places at once. I remember, thinking this as my husband and I talked, Lord. I had spent five years attending to the needs of my mom as efficiently as I knew how to do. I prayed desperately for all of that time to be all she needed me to be. I realized that I had done all I could do for her. She was safe.......well cared for.....and on her way to You, Lord. I knew she would be alright. And, so.....I made the decision to stay with my daughter and her precious new little one....and to take care of her. Somehow, I felt that it was where I should be. Also, there was quite a bit of distance to go.....and I knew my dear son-in-law would take me even with the treacherous roads.....but, I didn't regret the decision then. And, I don't regret it now.....it's just that, on occasion, I remember making that decision and question myself over again. Lord, those moments in time where a decision can follow you forever are moments that are best layed at the foot of the cross. I did what I felt was right for my daughter. Until then, all of my energy was taken up with the concerns of my mother's care, health and well-being. When I look at my granddaughter now and see the energy and hope for the future that she exudes, I am so proud of the young woman she has become. She will glow and grow. She will remember the truths of the scripture that have been taught to her as a guide for her to follow. I pray, Father.....that You will give her the wisdom and tenacity to follow the desires of her heart and the plan you have laid out for her. I know You need her in the battle we fight each day. Make her strong and resilient to the wiles of the evil one.
You , Oh Lord.....are the only source of strength and reserve we have. Help me to remember it always. To never give up.....to run the race with the perseverance that Paul did. I want to be that example for as long as You allow me the breath to do so.
For the needs we have.....for the desires of our hearts.....for the things we don't need and just want.....Lord, forgive us for being such a needy lot.....but , grant us Your favor. One more time.
I speak all in the name and will of Jesus Christ. Amen.
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