I'm home now.  I'm sitting on my couch......it is a very comfortable couch.  I am about to write......for the third time......a prayer that will post.  This is the third one.  I, of course, think that You do not want everyone to know my business.  I like to share, Lord.  I like for people to know that even though we have flaws that always seem to plague us ( and those around us)......and even though we pray and believe......and that even though we are still pretty raggedy Christians.......we depend on You to save us. I've needed to write for so long.  It's probably why I have felt a little "set aside" by You.  And, of course, it is always my fault. I truly know that.   After a daughter said to me yesterday as we were driving home to Delaware....."What do You mean, you haven't prayed about it!?"  I began to back peddle a bit.  As I began to think of the reasons why I haven't really spent any time in intercessory prayer about this "move"......I thought, "Jeepers, creepers!  I'm an idiot!"  I said to myself.....Uh, I guess one reason is John and the kids are praying.  He has always made the big decisions on "When it's time to move and  where we will move to."  I felt it was always "His and God's business".  I mostly had to get my heart and mind to agree. As for our children,  I also figured that their prayers would be really sincerely prayed......otherwise we'd be visiting them two or three months out of the year......eating their food, watching their tv, calling on their phone, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.  I figure I'm pretty funny, Lord.  I just crack myself up.  Actually, dear One, I'm a little ashamed she had to snap the reins a bit.  Here I am.  Just published "My Letters to God" and walk around like this big prayer warrior for You......and I haven't prayed about this huge move we are about to make.  Yes.....I have SOS'ed some prayers.....I've asked others to pray......I've dreamed some prayers....but, haven't actually thought about saying....."Lord, I'd like to have a certain kind of house in Timbuktu, USA and I'd like to have this and this and this in it..... and....... surrounding it.  Forgive me, Lord for this unrealistic approach to this seemingly huge dilemma.  Help me to pray the right words.  Words that a man may not understand but YOU do.  The sounds that express what I want.....or think I want......and the needs that have to be met. I need for the "rivers in the desert" mantra.....and the "roadways in the wilderness" to be as plain to John and I as we have ever known before.  We are Your servants.  You chose us.  You have given us more than we could ever dream.  And.....we are blessed to be called Your children.  I am still at Your mercy, Lord.  I depend on You to give us what You deem necessary.  I want to know that  what You have done and where You have placed us is in Your plan.  When I am placing the silverware in the drawer of my "new" kitchen and making the bed for the first night in our "new " home, that You are in control.  You know what the weather will be like.  You will know how far away the closest "Walmart" is.  I believe in You, Lord.  I trust You.  Many times when we were getting ready to make a move, I would find myself singing or quoting the song that my Grandma Candel would have me play for her all the time.  I was just a little kid, nine or ten, I guess. I'd play and she'd sing..... "I'll go where You want me to go, dear Lord......over mountain, or plain, or sea........I'll say what You want me to say, dear Lord.....I'll be what You want me to be."   There it is, Lord.  That.....I think is the most important prayer I could pray.  Before I started writing this prayer today.....I read from Joshua 2:1.  In "MY" version of the scripture, it says......."Now then, you and yours.....get ready to cross the Jordan river into the land I am about to give you." 
Now, in all I have said, asked and given You to think about, Lord.....I do it all in the name of Jesus.....and always, Your will.  Amen.



For those of you who might be interested in purchasing "My Letters to God"  you can access the publishers website:  www.hopefreelancing.com  and click on "store" and it will take you through the buying process.......or go to AMAZON.com and do the same.  Remarkably, when you put the letters "S.Corrine Davis" in or "My Letters to God"......it comes up.  I look at it all the time.  After I bought about 10 copies to send to myself, I finally quit.  (No, I didn"t!) I still cannot believe it.  Thank you so much.

                    

Just a heads-up friends.......This is a long one!                   

Lord.....I wish I could explain how I feel.  I know that You know.  I'd just love to be able to put it into words.  I. I. I.  That's seems to be all I ever talk about.  Do You get annoyed with it?  Jeepers.....I'd like to think that You don't.  Mainly because I can't do this with people.  No one wants to listen as long as I can drone on.....not really.  I do wish, Lord.....at my age, I still wasn't so concerned about how "I" am viewed by others.  Why is that?  Help me, Jesus, to be the example for You that you expected all along that I could be.  And, then.....help me to be contented with that.  
I think of all the years I have written to You with a pen and paper.  I know by the way "other's" react when they hear it.....especially gentlemen.  Even women. (They are a little kinder!)  I remember precisely when I bought a really pretty lavender writing pen.  The tip was fine and the ink was black.....(my favorite) and a lavender and white  composition book.  It was all very feminine and pretty.  The reason I decided to give  it to her, was for her to put her thoughts and/or prayers down on paper to give herself an outlet.
She had just found out her husband of half a century had been unfaithful to her......and the worst part of it was, it  couldn't be shoved under a rug anymore.  It was worthy of prison time.  All of her dreams and hopes for a continued happy life were smashed.  Lord, I remember her first words to me......"Don't cry for me if you hear I have died because there are things that are worse than death."  O dear Jesus......Savior of all of us......why do these horrible events ever have to happen?  Why do Your people have to experience some of the most horrendous experiences one can't even imagine.  I remember reading, "Dorie.  The Girl Nobody Loved" by Dorie Van Stone.  After I read that book, I remember walking into my laundry room, doing the wash, and actually being so disgusted with You.  I said aloud to You, as I rammed clothes into the dryer...."Why in the world didn't You rescue her, Lord?  Why did You allow her to have to live so alone......and in such degradation?
I don't understand.  I hate it for her.  I am sick because You allowed this."  And, on and on I went.....talking to You like You couldn't pound me into the ground with one look.  I remember that You ignored my insolence and answered me pretty quickly.  I didn't like the answer much, but accepted it.  Where it came from, I cannot remember.  But, I  KNEW  IT  WAS  FROM  YOU!!!  No doubts.  Even though I think it is the hardest thing to overcome from both sides of the spectrum.....There has to be SOMEBODY that can show SOMEBODY else how horrible things can and are overcome by belief in You and what YOU can do in a life of someone so terribly abused.  Sometimes mere words in a book will not work....whether they are Your words or not.  People have to see a story that relates to them, personally. Sometimes it clicks for them and then; regrettably, sometimes it doesn't.  I wish, Dear Lord, I had learned all the lessons You have tried to teach me the first time.  I do, though, appreciate the fact that You kept bringing "my issue" back to me therein allowing me the privilege of having peace in my own soul.  I know, I can be stubborn.  And, it seems I always have to have a picture drawn for me.  I guess what amazes me is that You take time to let that happen for me.  I thank You, Lord.....for being aware all the time of how I learn.....and being so gracious in the waiting.  
As I stated, a long while back.....I thought my gift would be received with a sigh of relief.  It was received with.....almost a question mark? and "Why would you give me this?" look.  As far as I know.....she never wrote a word of her saga in that book.
  It was used for the various things a person does in a day.....or needs at the store.  It doesn't matter, Jesus. She had You, and still does.  You understand the cries of a servant......even when I don't understand all of the reasons why or why not!!
Lord.....I know that no one understands like You do.  I believe it.  I believe.  And, Lord, for future intent.....I believe it most of the time.  There are days I don't feel alone.  There are days I feel the enemy is running the show of my life.  Those are the days I will cling to the old rugged cross for dear life.....because, with You, it is.  
'Jesus, lover of my soul....let me to thy bosom fly'.....because that is where I get the most restful sleep.  In  Your name I pray this prayer.  Amen.