"MY LETTERS TO GOD": January 2020

Friday, January 10, 2020

Lord......are You listening? I'm sitting here in a hospital room with a fellow I married some 54 years ago. I'm looking at him

right now.....and I have to look twice. Hair is not so important. I've always said that. To others. I was trying to prepare myself when I had cancer....I even bought a wig. But, I never needed it. Now, I see a man that I married and always "orchestrated" how he wore his hair.....(So sorry, Lord--I shouldn't have) .....with no hair. He does have a nice head. "I need Thee every hour".

Did I mention, Lord.....I could have used a little warning when he came to me and ask me to fix his hair that Sunday morning?

You know how clueless I am at times. When you depend on a limb (in this case, a left arm) to help you comb, button, tie, wash, dress....it's debilitating when you discover something isn't right.

Finding this out....we immediately drove to an Emergency Ward of the St.Francis Hospital. Lord......thank you for calming me.

Thank you for giving me Your presence at my right hand. When stroke and heart attack were ruled out.....I knew we might be in more trouble than I could have believed.

I guess I never thought about this happening. Lord....thank you for reminding me that I do not have it all together. That I need You every hour.....Oh....I really do.

The words...."You have cancer".....takes you to a place that only God can reach. That only God can give peace to. I found it for myself. I'm believing that I can have this with my beloved spouse, also. I need it. I need You to help my unbelief. The enemy has a hay day with me. You have always known this.....and even though You do.....I have to remind You to remind me. " I need You every hour, every hour I need Thee.

This is a short prayer. I cannot go farther. I am depending on the prayers of others to lift me to You. I'm thankful You do that for us. It's true, Lord. Most of the time I can't believe I'm here at this place in my life. And....when I quiet myself.....all I can say is "Help....or Help me.....or Help him!"

Give me strength for today.....and bright hope for tomorrow....

Great is Thy Faithfulness....Lord, unto Thee

"I need Thee....Oh, I need Thee.....Every hour I need Thee....Oh bless me now my Savior....I come to Thee." Amen and Amen.

Introduction to "My Letters To God"

My letters to God came about by my need to communicate with Him on a regular basis. I needed to, as a christian, a wife and a mother notwithstanding, pray every day. As a young mother I found myself almost continually interrupted by my two little girls. All for necessary and legitimate reasons. You and I both know satan uses every trick in the book to keep us from communing with God and I felt that he was definately getting the upperhand. So, one day out of sheer desperation, I grabbed a sheet of paper or a notebook (I don't remember) and began to scribble out a prayer for God to come and rescue me. I needed to tell Him EXACTLY how I felt. I needed Him and felt that this was my only recourse. Invariably, before I started writing, when I was interrupted I hardly ever would go back to my devotion time. I'd forget where I was in my prayertime and it all seemed futile.....after all, the wash had to be done, the beds had to be made, baths needed to be taken care of.....etcettera.....etcettera....etcettera. After the first attempt, I tried it again and again until this wonderful habit was formed for me. I could literally stop mid-sentence and almost always go back , and pick up where I had left off. As I found my time with God lengthening because of my determination to do this, it ended up being my solace. Even with two more daughters and a son as the years went by. I often found that it was truly a wonderful thing when I would search for a word that described what I REALLY felt. Many times in my prayertime prior to this , I would skim over the

hard parts that would express my angst to Him sort of mumbling, "Lord, you know what I mean.....". I was so terribly desperate to express how I really felt. To that, I could only tell Him in my tears and fears and frustration hoping He would still love me. I'd reread sometimes and find that I was alot meaner than I knew He would be pleased with.....or, I was not as bad as I believed I was.

Writing to God has followed me into the years that the world says are the "senior years". It doesn't matter to me. As long as I can hold a pen and write Him all of my heart thoughts, the "mind stealers" will not deter me. I am determined to be God's instrument. I will blow my horn for Him as long as He gives me breath!

As I share my letters with you, past and present, may you find in Him the solace that you need. He will give that to each of us. This is my prayer.

"MY LETTERS TO GOD"

My Life Verse

Friday, January 10, 2020

About Me

Blog Archive