My Life Verse

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in Thy sight O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

It was funny yesterday, Lord......I just kept waiting for a tree to fall or water to start pouring in somewhere......I kept trying..... but, I couldn't really rest.  None of those things happened.  All my little things I have sitting on my front porch didn't even move....even with the wind swirling around.  The gusts of wind that would come apparently weren't even in the direction of that little cove where the porch is positioned.  And, now.....today, I have the words of the song "Resting Through The Storm" going through my head.  With all of the pictures of the weather maps, areas around us getting hit pretty hard with "Sandy".....not once did I think about the song I'm mentally singing today.  The disciples were not particularly pleased when they were sure they were going to perish in the storm that came up on the Galilee and no one could find Jesus.  They were frantic.  They needed him in bodily form to come and assess what was happening and stop it (from happening) immediately!  (Lord Jesus......in my life, how often have I wondered where You were when I needed You the most.  Granted, Lord.....that hasn't happened very often.....BUT, when it does......I  am almost in a state of panic, too.)  Anyway, Lord......I find that I am NO BETTER than these anxious men when they believed their life was being threatened.  I've often thought, Lord, that I was.  (Better than them.)  I don't even know if  others ever feel that way.  I'm afraid I wouldn't like the answer.  ( I also like to think I wouldn't have been in the group of the whiny, never satisfied , constantly-asking- for-more -Israelites following Moses to the Promised Land.  How about we not even "go there", Lord?)  The song lyrics move to the chorus which says......"They found Jesus, resting through the storm.....trusting in His Father's words......knowing He was safe from harm......".

Lord, my life......my heart.....my mind.....my words, all need this lesson to be driven home to  the door of my heart.  Toggle-bolted to the door would be  a sign......"This is Corrine's home.  She's resting through the storm!" 

I need Your love to guide me.  I need Your arms to hold me.  I need Your wisdom to empower me.  I never want this to change.  I never want to be self-sufficient in Your eyes.
I have driven myself to distraction wanting "my ducks all in a row" so no one could say, spiritually speaking, that I hadn't fulfilled all of their expectations of me.  Lord, one thing I have come to learn after 45 years of ministry with my husband, is that NO ONE can fulfil all the expectations one may need attended to for another.  I have tried.  

I need Your intervention today.  Lord, as soon as I write my heart thoughts.....I am often deluged with exactly what I have praised You for.  I know the presence of evil in this world is nothing to dabble with;  argue with; try to understand, we should know by now   there is no understanding of any of it.  (In my case, Lord, that's the hook he uses to get me on his side!)   Help me Lord, to always be aware of his tactics.   Jesus, You are the world to me.  My hope.  My fortress.  I lay at Your feet the concerns of my heart and the needs of others.  

Bless us today with Your favor.  Thank You for the safety You provided during the storm.
Stay close, Lord.  I'm not sure, Lord.....but, another may be on the way. 

I pray in the name of Jesus.  Savior of the world.  Amen.


Sunday, October 21, 2012

It amazes me, Father.....that You are my friend.  The actual conversations we have are pretty one-sided.  I tell You what I need; what bothers me; what I really want;  my innermost angst, confessions of my soul.....just to name a few.....and You have this way of nodding.....listening.....probing.....and  suggesting.  It is almost indescribable.  In actual fact, it is indescribable.  At Praise Team practice, I pulled out this song and I'd forgotten how it went, it had been so long since I played it.  "Indescribable, uncontainable!  You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name!"  It is a "keeper" song.  We have to do it soon.  "You are amazing, God!" is a line at the end.  And, it's true.  I call on You at any time of the day.....sometimes in a not-very-good-frame of mind......and, there You are, just waiting for me to finally tell You what is on my heart.  My heart thoughts.  Not everyone has the patience or the time to listen......I tend to go off on tangents.....lengthening my prayer to You.  I, of course, think it's important to give You the "back-story" or explain in words I am sure will help You understand me better (!) knowing full well, You know me best!  I just can see You roll Your eyes a bit....maybe even smile.....and, then....maybe not. 

I remember some thirty-some years ago standing in the kitchen, talking on the phone to a parishioner.
She'd called to ask my advice.  Remember her, Lord?  I listened as she described her feelings about wanting to wear her wedding ring after 50 plus years of marriage.  She couldn't wear it when she married because of the "church rules".   She talked....and I mostly listened as she laid out the whole story.  My heart went out to her.  Even now, as I remember the conversation, I still feel the same.  I
suggested she pray and seek God's voice to her and go with her instinct to wear that sacred piece of memorabilia.  She was atleast the age I am now, Lord.  Men have made rules for years.....following what they feel is Your edict to us.  And, men preached all of that from the pulpit.  Confusing the mere desire of wearing an outward expression of our love and devotion to someone......to falling into the pit of Hell for being an instrument of rebellion. I remember thinking....."Why is she asking me?
What do I know?  Why after all these years of being a Christian, is she struggling with this?  And, now.....of course, I know.  He, (satan) never stops.  He will always integrate himself into our lives.  Confusing and deceiving us.  (Help me, Jesus!)   Lord Jesus, I hope and pray that the fact that an unforgiving heart......an un-bended spiritual knee......a critical tongue......all play a part in the real message of a confessed sin and committed heart.  I truly believe the crux of our faith falls there.

Jesus, I just want to thank You for helping me see what is truly important.  Atleast in the areas of
my life that need correcting and changing.  I will obey Your plea to me that I pay attention to the places that displease You.  I will forfeit my desire to bully my opinion of what I think Your Word says.  What it says to me........is not necessarily what it says to another.  Help me not to forget that.
Help me to remember  what the picture says to me.  (You know.....the one You draw for me to show me what I am to do!) . 

I praise You, Lord.  Give me the favor I deserve today.  I honestly feel that breathing and living is enough......but, I will accept all You give.  In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray and ask You will in all I do and in all I say.  Amen.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

It must be so frustrating to You, Father.  I ask for You to present me areas of service that I can do for You......and You do.....and , then I cower.  Would You help me?  As I read the devotional from Oswald Chambers today, I thought.....Are You talking to me, Lord?
Are You saying....."For Pete's sake, Corrine......what do I have to do for you?  You ask, I answer.  And, then you stutter and stammer your way around the issue at hand, wondering why you are here.  I AM WHO I AM......and I will help you." 

The line of one of our praise songs hits my "inside airwaves"......."In all I do.....I honor You."  ( Thank You, dear One.)  "I'm alive and well....Your spirit lies within me.....because You died and rose again.  Amazing love....how can it be.....that You, my King, would die for me?  Amazing love....I know it's true;  It's my joy....to honor You."

You know, Lord.....I was sure You were not talking to me.  I was.  And, as I started to read just a little while ago.....I couldn't even make sense of it.....thinking, this is " too hard for me today!  I'll read this another day."  I guess You, more than anyone, knows  I am SO sure sometimes.....and find out later, with great embarrassment.....that I am totally wrong.  Isn't  that amazing, Lord?   Wednesday evening, as I spoke to the Prayer Meeting crowd, I was quite adamant that we....ie; all of us who love and serve You , have a duty to be your hands and feet....and perhaps, even, a mouthpiece, to be used by You.  The verses You pointed out to me today just sort of hit me in the face.  "Who am I that I should go....? from Exodus 3:11 is so reminiscent of my thoughts the last few days.  So.....Lord......I am Your servant......I believe You have chosen me......and that You haven't rejected me at all.....and I will let You lift me up with Your righteous right hand......and give me peace. 

I asked my friend, yesterday, Lord...... " Do we ever really learn anything from our trials and tribulations?"  I have figured that the reason we go through these places, is for You to give us a bird's eye view of what You see after we are through the trial.  I like to think You don't have to send me into that same scenario for me to finally "get it"!  Lord, I submit to You that I have always thought that "You don't have to tell me twice".......and then I find that regrettably, You do.

Give me the courage and strength I need, Lord.  I cannot rely on strength from any other avenue.  Overwhelm me with Your peace......  the portion that passes all understanding is what I would like to have.  I don't need to understand any of it. 

I will bless You, O Lord.....by being obedient.  I will bless You by being faithful.
Grant me Your favor.  I ask all in the name of Jesus.  Amen.  

Saturday, October 6, 2012

What was it that I wrote a while back, Lord?   I am going to condense my travel paraphernalia down so I don't have so many bags to carry?  Yeah....that's what I said!  I should have said, "......so I don't forget something everywhere I go!"  It was a favorite outfit and my cosmetic bag that I found missing when I arrived home yesterday from a week of living out of a suitcase.  I get so annoyed.  It's my own fault and I know that too!  I don't even pretend to blame it on anyone.  Aren't I mature, Lord?  Great.  I'm mature...... but still would forget my head if it wasn't attached!
The moment we arrived home, I felt a big sigh of relief that we were in our own driveway, safe and sound.  Thank You, Father....for allowing us to be able to visit our loved ones and try to encourage them by just being there.  It is sometimes all you can do when folks are going through hard places and are not sure which way to turn.  Just being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on or a hand to hold is often all You expect us to do.  Praying, not withstanding, is expected and definitely not the least we can do for one another.  I guess I always grew up feeling that those things weren't quite enough.
I have flailed with the "what to do?" mantra forever.  I always think I have to have a "ready answer" for any question that comes up and so often Lord, it isn't what You expect at all.  Just having the ability to keep quiet and listen is important too.  I like that You have placed different folks in our lives, at different times, to perform what needs to be done.  Not everyone has to do every  single thing.  I appreciate that  especially when I fail to listen, You allow someone else the blessing of hearing  (what You originally meant for me to do) Your call.....they pick up the ball that I have dropped and get the blessing.  The laxness is never my intent, Lord.....and even though I do fail You on occasion....You keep giving me places to serve.  Thank You Lord for allowing me the privilege to follow Your calling.
For the sad, forgotten, lonely, bereft and alone individuals I am responsible for.....I pray I will be Your messenger.  Never failing them.  I ask for Your divine word to be implanted in my heart for
their encouragement.  Over and over, Lord, I have been discouraged by my submission of souls for
Your kingdom.  I do submit to You that my job is to plant a seed of hope.  The spiritual laws and
specific scriptures I worry over not getting quite right, are Your department, Lord.  I will be Your
instrument.....to do Your will, living Your word, and keeping Your commandments to the best of
my ability. 
Where I go.....what I do.....who I speak to....(or don't speak to)......the words I use.....the attitude with
which I express myself.....all hinge on how close I stay to Your side.  I expect Your nudge when I
need it.  I aim to be the lighthouse that shows which area is safe to go.  Shine away, Lord.  I don't
want the lens of that light to ever become cloudy and diffused.  Help me see anything that would
deflect the light of Your word to me or anyone I speak to. 
I pray in the name and will of Jesus Christ, our Lord.  Amen.