"MY LETTERS TO GOD": June 2024

Tuesday, June 18, 2024

It has taken me almost an hour, Lord. I thought this morning when I woke up…..that I would finally write a blog prayer. I just read my last post. Tearfully, I ask for Your forgiveness in being so lax in writing. I put pressure on myself to write. And, then when I don’t, I throw all kinds of aspersions at myself. Or else, it’s the enemy, and I just let him drone on because it’s easier than sitting myself down and admitting in front of everyone that I’m truly a mess and no one has picked up on it yet. At any rate, I honestly thought I could not function today without emptying my soul thoughts.

The middle of December caught me off my game for lack of a better word. Our oldest daughter was seemingly standing at a crossroad to life or death. With the gamut of tests and more tests to find out the root cause, we were watching how scary it is to watch a Doctor say, he really didn’t know what was happening. That is not reassuring, Lord. After a few more tests and drugs were administered, more Drs opinions, a hospital change…….we found a few more answers. Lord, in the events and fulfillment of a happy Christian life, what can we do when the answers are not forthcoming? I delve into fixing the problem myself. Of course, You have tried to tell me before, that my way is not always best. That…..right there is my whole problem. There are reasons You don’t reveal all WE think we should know. That being me. All I think I should know! Lord, forgive me. Help me. Sustain me. Fulfill me only in the manner You choose. As for our family……I leave them in Your care. I try to do what I can…..but the enemy is right there at my neck whispering, if only I were “more” things could be better. I admit, Lord…..I spend too much of the energy I do have, trying to fix more than I have the capability of. If You would put a sign on the door of my life that says “S. Corrine Davis, Asst. to Jesus”…..I would see real quick that I’d have to resign!

You have a place for me. I have tried too hard for too long, trying to be the answer to the needs of everyone who has a need I think I should fill. I’m turning that quirk of my nature into what I feel is the best choice for me. And, no shock here…..once again, it’s You Lord. I submit my ideas to You. You do what is best. For anyone I know about.

Thank you Father, for the forgiveness of sins. Thank you Father, for giving me the grace to keep moving forward….especially when You see me faltering. Give me a gentle shove. I am in your care. That’s when I can breathe better. See You better, and actually love better.

I am amazed at the way You have given my girl her life back with restrictions. You and she will work that out.

I thank You for the forgiveness You provide. It’s the only way I can live victoriously. That supernatural power.

I will await the next day I live, in the plan You have for me.

I burden You with all of my burdens….and I do it with all I have in me. And, I leave it in Your capable hands. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen and amen.

Introduction to "My Letters To God"

My letters to God came about by my need to communicate with Him on a regular basis. I needed to, as a christian, a wife and a mother notwithstanding, pray every day. As a young mother I found myself almost continually interrupted by my two little girls. All for necessary and legitimate reasons. You and I both know satan uses every trick in the book to keep us from communing with God and I felt that he was definately getting the upperhand. So, one day out of sheer desperation, I grabbed a sheet of paper or a notebook (I don't remember) and began to scribble out a prayer for God to come and rescue me. I needed to tell Him EXACTLY how I felt. I needed Him and felt that this was my only recourse. Invariably, before I started writing, when I was interrupted I hardly ever would go back to my devotion time. I'd forget where I was in my prayertime and it all seemed futile.....after all, the wash had to be done, the beds had to be made, baths needed to be taken care of.....etcettera.....etcettera....etcettera. After the first attempt, I tried it again and again until this wonderful habit was formed for me. I could literally stop mid-sentence and almost always go back , and pick up where I had left off. As I found my time with God lengthening because of my determination to do this, it ended up being my solace. Even with two more daughters and a son as the years went by. I often found that it was truly a wonderful thing when I would search for a word that described what I REALLY felt. Many times in my prayertime prior to this , I would skim over the

hard parts that would express my angst to Him sort of mumbling, "Lord, you know what I mean.....". I was so terribly desperate to express how I really felt. To that, I could only tell Him in my tears and fears and frustration hoping He would still love me. I'd reread sometimes and find that I was alot meaner than I knew He would be pleased with.....or, I was not as bad as I believed I was.

Writing to God has followed me into the years that the world says are the "senior years". It doesn't matter to me. As long as I can hold a pen and write Him all of my heart thoughts, the "mind stealers" will not deter me. I am determined to be God's instrument. I will blow my horn for Him as long as He gives me breath!

As I share my letters with you, past and present, may you find in Him the solace that you need. He will give that to each of us. This is my prayer.

"MY LETTERS TO GOD"

My Life Verse

Tuesday, June 18, 2024

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