I am wondering, Lord.....could You light a fire underneath me?  I need to write more.....I need to express myself to You more.....I get tired of talking and no one really hears what I say.  You know that I have trouble getting to "my point" pretty often.....and I'm very aware I'm taking too long.....etc., etc.....and,  I always feel like I have to give the "back story".....and by the time I do that, I have practically forgotten the point of the whole thing.  Lord.....I am thankful that since You already know the "back story", I am a little more at ease with You.  Thank You, dear One, for that.  I was reminded this morning as I read another devotional from "Joni" of the verses You gave to me at a time when I was at the end of my rope.  Oh, Lord.  You saved me that day....and the days after.  I could not see any end to my plight.  My family had gone home.  My brothers had to get back to work......and, "since I didn't have a 'job'.....I had to stay!"  My mother had suffered a catastrophic event.  I thought  I was a pathetic choice, Lord.  All I could think about was me.....when my mother was in the most precarious position in her life.  Completely paralyzed from her shoulders down.....unable to speak aloud......move, or breathe on her own.  Yes, I am ashamed to admit it.....I was thinking about me. Not right away of course.  I give myself a little credit.....but, as time wore on.....days, weeks, months......ah, yes......the "selfish" part of me took over.   It was awhile until You could get my attention.  I was so busy "attending" to and "listening" to the needs of my mom....grieving for her plight.....wondering if I could ever go back to my family.....making huge decisions that would mean life or death for her with the specialists who were trying to keep her alive.  I was overwhelmed, to say the least.  I depended on the prayers of others.  All I could manage were the ones that required the fewest words.  "Help".  "Show me, Lord".  I prayed those in every other breath.  I was tired and tried.  I couldn't breathe.  I was begging for someone to save me, silently.  And, then, finally You spoke to me through the scripture.  I'll never forget it.  Well, actually, sometimes.....I do.  But, You reminded me this morning again!  "You are my servant.....I have chosen you.....I have not rejected you.....I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  From Isaiah 43..... I could finally breathe.....I could not believe what I had read.  I wrote it down and stuck it in my purse, Lord.....remember?  I told everyone that came in that day, unabashedly, that God had given me that verse....and that I thought it was for my mother too.  I remember looking at her and quoting the verse to her.  I realized that in her mind and heart, she just might be thinking....."What in the world did I do to end up in this mess?"  I wanted her to know that YOU hadn't rejected her; or that You were punishing her.  I wanted her to know that You had chosen her  and me too.....to show Your power and grace to all who were looking on.  Lord, after all of these years, I still believe it.  I'm so glad You reminded me again.
Knowing that the next phone call could change our lives forever should urge anyone to stay close to Jesus....always.  We always seem to find something else to do.  I'm so grateful, Lord, for Your power to move the mountains that block our view.  I pray for Your sustaining power to give me peace.  
I pray in the name of Jesus.  Amen and amen.