I Think My Halo Is Crooked!

Help Lord.  I can't seem to get off the couch.  I find all these excuses to sit here.  I've got notes to write.....I have lists to make......I have devotions to catch up on.....I have some online shopping to do.  Oh, and did I mention?  More lists to make.  Lord....I am going to need a forklift soon.  Help, I say!
After I finish this letter to You.....I am up and at it!  Christmas tree will be decorated.....and the living room done by suppertime.  I wish I could leave it from one year to the next.  It is cozy and homey and I love it 'til Spring comes.  Then, I have no patience for evergreen.  Lord....of all the stupid things....when so much is happening in the world.  I see that Lebanon has done some bombing in Israel.  People everywhere are going to bed hungry.  Life and death issues are confronting people we know and love.....and I have .....lists to make?  Forgive me and help me concentrate on what is priority for me and mine right now and do the best I can.....with what I have.  Give me the energy to push through the saggy feeling I will get in the middle of it all.  Help me to remember  that "the joy of the Lord is my strength" and the fact that You always have given me the strength and direction I need.....when I stop.....ask.....and wait.  It is just a matter of turning over to You the battle of mind and body. 
As I peruse the devotionals I've got in my inbox, I see that the wonderful habit You have of reminding me of the things I intend to incorporate into my spiritual journey.....is ever-present.....and awaiting my attention.  As I am beginning to review the areas of concern to You for me, I see that keeping my mind and heart on the things that are beneficial to my growth .  Spiritually speaking.  The forbearance and longsuffering.....kindness and forgiving nature.....all of it, I want to be second nature for me.  Just about the time I think I have it covered.......someone cuts me off on my way to Walmart.....or pulls into the parking spot I've been sitting and waiting for .....properly, with my blinker on!  Those are the times I find a little irritating and the "longsuffering" nature I yearn for , goes out the window.  You know Lord, I have always found it to be maddening to be around people that are always so "perfect acting" and always have the most profound thoughts......is that really what You want me to be?  Childish behavior is not so bad.....is it?   As one of my kids once said......"Being a Christian is so annoying!"
Why?  Because it's hard to be good?  Especially when someone needs an earful!  The scripture says that when we are children we see things as a child would.....but , when we are older (and wiser)......well, I wonder dear One......do we ever really grow up?  Being a Christian means we are changed.  Oh, Lord.....I don't even want to delve into that statement right now.  All I know is......being like You is important to me.  I want to be Your instrument.  Whatever that takes.....at this point in my life......well, Lord.......that is what I am willing to do.  Yeah.....that's what I said.  Now.....what I need is for You to help me really mean it. 
I ask all.....Lord Jesus......in the name of the precious Son of God.  Amen

"Thank You....blessings abundant!"

It's been quite a few days since I posted a prayer, Lord.  This computer isn't cooperating and I have enough trouble keeping my thoughts in tow without having to keep turning this thing on after it goes off.   I have been relaxing too, while we're away a few days.  It's nice to get away from our regular routines and see how others do their day to day.  I'm grateful for grace and mercy you provide everywhere we go.  It's nice to watch our grown-up children as they live in their corner of the world, interacting and ministering to those you have them in contact with.  Each one of them, has this nucleus of people they minister to.  Continue to uplift them.  I often wonder, Lord, if You were walking along with us (in human form), if our words would be different.  Or, our demeanor.  Or, even the thoughts we entertain before we open our mouth.  I think I behaved myself today when I interacted with the thrift store people.  I wasn't crazy about losing the three dollars I paid for those pants.....but, I handed them the pants and said I would donate them back to them.  Wasn't that big of me?  And, ended up spending four more dollars.  I find it difficult at times to be graceful when I am not so grateful.

 I found the song "Broken and Spilled Out" a real saga to my life for a while a few years ago.  I resented the fact that I had been .....(broken and spilled out and used up) and was looking for a way out.  It was only when I accepted that if I was not willing.....then You could do nothing for me.  It took a little  while.  I wanted to be pitied.  I was waiting for the party to begin. I can listen to that song now, Lord.....and enjoy the fact that I am working with You and not against You. Continue to prompt me, Jesus , when I am in need of someone to be in my corner.  Sometimes I feel I am alone in this role I play.  I want to be Your instrument in understanding and being understood.  I'd like to be Your instrument in speaking words of encouragement and receiving such.  In these days when I tend to be very aware of my flaws, could You help me to stand on the promises You have given me (over and over), to carry on the business of living.  I believe in the security of Your Word.....the fact that You know my name.....it's written on the palm of Your hand (in case You forget....smile....sorry, Lord!) and my concerns are Your concerns.  That always amazes me and reminds me again of the love You have for Your children.  I hold tight to that piece of inspiration from Your Word.  I bless You, O Lord!  Give me the inspiration to do that.
 
Thank You, Father.  Thank You for the favor of Your love and blessings You provide.  Thank You for the peace You provide that passes all understanding.  For all I ask....and pray for....I ask all in Your name.  Amen.

It is always hard for me to sit down and write to You when I have fifty things to do.  But, today.....since I do not feel like doing any of it.....I'm writing.  I love You, Lord....and I lift my voice to worship You.  You are the keeper of all of my heart thoughts.  You are the provider for all the needs I feel I have to have.  You are the giver of gifts I absolutely do not deserve.  You are the author and finisher of my life.
I praise You and give You thanks.  It is the desire of my heart to please You, Lord.  In all of my ways....in all of my conversation.....in all of the business of living and loving our family and friends.....there really is no happiness without knowing You are running the movie of my life.  I am the star of this one and I want to give all the royalties to You, Lord.  Mostly I want to please You in the areas of my life where I struggle.  My time and how I spend it.  The projects I really need to just let go of.  The concerns that should be first and foremost in my own life.  Forging into unknown territory that You are  pressing me to step into.  All of these and more, Father......I need Your touch and perhaps even, a shove.
I am so grateful for the areas of accountability that I have been cornered in and to.  Lord, I have found it a wealth of inspiration that I can see will make me a better instrument for You.  Thank You, Father for giving me the instincts that urge me to keep my spiritual house in order.  Areas I need to improve on ..... areas that draw me in, not away.....each one is what I want to accomplish for You.  I have given You all access.  I want the nudges.  Don't forget that, Lord.  I know the important things of life are not all about me.....but I do know that what concerns me, concerns You.  Jesus, Savior of the world.....give me Your blessing this day....grant me the favor I am due today.  I love You, Lord.  All the concerns, all the heart thoughts, all the requests......each one I speak in the name of Jesus.  Amen, for now.

"In all my ways....acknowledging You!"

More and more I realize how lazy I am, Lord.  It takes effort.....real effort to make myself  decide to move my body to the treadmill.....or the "ten minutes a day and you'll be fit" machine I paid in monthly installments forever....or the stationary bike I just bought at a yard sale for 15 dollars. Now I hear that it has been studied and pronounced that if you just SIT, you are more likely to get colon cancer than one who moves around a bit during an hour.  These things are facts of my life that are troublesome.  Lord, I know I should move more.  I know I should exercise.  I know.  Boy, do I ever.  I also know that this is not a commandment.....and so......I often defer to the couch!  (It's a nice couch.)  As for my spiritual body,  I need  (way too often) Your shove to do as says to me......"In all your ways acknowledge HIM, and He shall direct your paths....".  (Does this include exercise?  I'm not sure I want to know Your answer to me, Lord.)  I will move on to the more spiritual side of my life......and that is the information You send my way on a steady (almost every single day) basis.  I was so interested in reading my devotionals this week.  I thank You Father.  I have seen tidbits of inspiring scriptures and thoughts all week.  I love analyzing and writing down these ideas to make my life coincide more with Your plan for me.  I had read it before and even applied it but never quite saw it like I did the other morning.  When I read from Oswald Chambers devotional for the day, I saw these words......"Our Lord never insists upon obedience;  He tells us very emphatically what we ought to do...but, He never takes means to make us do it.  We have to obey out of a oneness of spirit."  Lord, I was stunned when I read it in that way.  I know You expect us to obey.  I just ......well......I know......uh.......what I should do.....and sort of......forget.  You know, Lord......to uh, do it right away!
Seems like my prayers the last few weeks sort of all say the same thing.  "I know what I should do.....so, will You help me do it?"  I don't think, Lord, that You are going to "help" me to obey You.
I think IF I LOVE YOU AS I CLAIM TO......that I will obey You freely, immediately if not sooner, and in compliance with all You have enabled me with.  I noticed Oswald was very direct when he said that if one does not comply as suggested, then one loves themselves more than they love the God who created them.....(as if I am in competition with You).  I didn't like what I read very much, Lord.  It tended to pronounce me guilty of sabotaging my own spiritual welfare because of my spiritual laziness.  So, now I find myself in the middle of an "out-loud" letter to You.  In essence, making myself accountable to You and whoever, as to what I need to do.  As far as the body goes, that is probably an exercise in futility.....but, Lord......the other part......I can do.  And, I will.  I promise.  To you, my dear , sweet Lord.  I do love You.  And, to put off my pursuit of knowing Your will and plan for me more and more.....is ridiculous behavior. 
Lord, there have been so many requests this week for the sadness and sickness in the lives of those we care for.  Father, thank You for being so loving to us.  Thank You for giving us the reprieve of laying our burdens at Your feet.....and knowing You will allow what is best for us.  Oh and to even say that, is scary, Lord. 
How do I love Thee, Lord......let me start counting the ways.  I can't .  It's too much.   Thank You for taking my heart thoughts.  I ask them all in the name of Jesus.  Amen, Lord.