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April 21st, 2013.  That was the last prayer I posted, Lord.  I do wonder why.  Uh......let's see.....!   Actually, I have nothing to say that's worth reading?  Shame on me, Lord.  I am the recipient of multiple blessings.  Regrettably, I have one issue.  I have a great memory, Lord.  It's just short!  Not enough time?  Too tired to write?  Take me away from my surroundings.....remove me from the "jobs" I feel I do pretty well.....take away the love of my life (my husband).....and put me down and let me alone awhile....well, it's not good.  Is that the way You felt Lord....when You entered the desert?  I doubt it very much!  But.... I wonder Lord if those are the times You test us to see what we are made of.  Our constant perusal of our life....how we have lived it......what You have seen us accomplish with Your grace and strength given to us........sometimes I wonder if Your are proud or disgusted with the growth aspect of our being.  So much of my time in past days were filled with raising children.  And when  I started doing that.....I tried pretending I knew what I was doing.....but, the books.....advice....all of it.....goes right out the window when You have a child that needs your attention.  The instinctive nature to protect is a blessing, Lord.  I thank You for that.  It alerts You to the intricacies of child rearing that experts try to explain and sound quite knowledgeable.....but not all advice and direction is for each and every one.  I love watching the interaction of a mother cooing and touching a child that needs attention.  An infant, that is.  Right now, Lord.....that is why I am away from all I am familiar with.    A newborn needs attention while the mother heals.  There is no baby that can survive without it.  Lord, I watch with anticipation to see the growth of such a precious bundle.  Within days, we see the effects of proper attention come to fruition.  The cheeks filling out a bit.....a tiny head raise off the shoulder....the barely audible squeaking of a newborn cry transforms into a hair raising squall.  How else to express their displeasure.....or desire.....or the effects of pain?  Lord......do we ever grow up?  Do we ever look to You and ask for what we need?  Or,  do You hear a  constant barrage of squalling?  Or whining?  Jesus.....I do need You every hour.  I need Your tender voice talking to me....even soothing me!  I need for You to sing occasionally of the love You have for me.  I need to know that even when I hesitate to come and talk (mostly because I feel I don't "really want to").....I should, because You love me even when I am obstinate and stubborn.  On the days my thinking is so inward and introspective, satan easily can get the upper hand on me......BECAUSE......I have dropped my armor by the door and left it unattended......just by my hurrying to get to the couch!  When will I learn that satan is always looking for an opportunity to pounce.  I know this.  I realize that as soon as I say it out loud.....he's on his haunches....just waiting.  No one does a better job of making me feel like a piece of trash than he does.....and as was pointed out to me recently.....I don't have to allow it to happen!  I can plead the blood of Jesus.  I can sing Your praises to all who are listening.  I can speak of Your wondrous works in my life.....and of those I love.  A beautiful baby?  Who can create that?  Only You, dear One.  Only You.
But, You Lord......You have to keep me in check.  I have got to be a grown up now.  I can have all the wisdom in the world......and experience......and IF  I  DON'T  ACKNOWLEDGE   MY DEPENDENCE  ON  YOU......I might as well pack it in. 

I do know Lord that You are the one that makes me whole and complete.  My life is in You.  My hope.  My joy.  Thank You, dear Lord.  I ask all in the name of Jesus. Amen.