I wish I knew what I should ask you to do for me sometimes, Lord.  I often wonder, do most of Your children dog Your steps.  Or....do they go off, surveying their lives, doing their jobs asking You to bless them while they do it......?  I'd like to know what You expect.  I suffer from the "Leadme/Teachme/Showme/Shoveme" Syndrome.  I have wondered and I do wonder if I will ever be safe enough to go out on my own?  Isn't that what You say for us to do?  Or, is it with the fear and trepidation that we ask Your constant guidance.  I've read verses this week from other devotionals I've read.....and, I thought......"I guess I'm not alone."  I mean, Lord.....really.  Psalm 139:3 says basically that YOU chart the path ahead of me.....telling me where to stop and rest.....because essentially You know where I am and what I'm doing.  And, another I read that in Psalm 63:8.....that MY  soul "followeth hard" after You.....and I do that because Your right hand will uphold me.  Proverbs 3:5 and 6......has always been so clear to me.....Is that why the whole entirety of the verses become mottled at times.  To trust in You with all my heart.....and don't lean on my own understanding (of any given situation)...In all my ways acknowledge YOU always because YOU will direct  my paths.  I often wonder why I hesitate and don't go riding in on my white horse ready to rescue and relieve in situations I think I have a handle on....I guess, Lord.....I guess it's because I have had this drilled into me from a young child.  You know my years.  I'm on my way to 69 years now.......and I have been Your girl for most of those years.  Still, I wonder.....are You waiting for me to grow up a little more.  Not be so tentative.  Well, are You?  Or could that be another voice urging me to head out on my own, with my own devices?

I question You and then I read from Genesis, chapter four, verse 7b......not verbatim, but essentially telling me that SIN crouches outside the door of my heart.....my being......; waiting to trip me up.....grabbing ahold of me and spreading the poison all over my best laid plans.  And then I gather all of these verses up, look at them, and realize how clear can You speak to us, really?  Over and over and over, I come to a conclusion,  thinking, I really don't have a clue.....and then I realize that to be on guard...wearing my armor...planning my escape from the clutches satan threatens to wrap me in, takes a constant and ever-present  watch over my heart.  To make sure it is pure in Your sight.  To guard the area around and into my heart.  Lord, safeguarding it with the power of Your Words to all of us.  As I struggle, and see that You have already fought the battle, I then have to maintain the work You have done for me.  It was good at the age of ten.  The harder the battle is.....the older I become.....well, the armor is the same.  It safeguards the tender recesses of my heart.  Oh, Lord.  Tell me.  Why do I forget that?  How can I possibly forget that You fought the battle and won.  And, all I have to do,  is  to remain faithful.  

Thank You, Lord.....once again, for reminding me, ever-so gently, that You have my concerns and my worries under Your leadership and control.  I thank You for this peace You provide.  Peace that truly passes all understanding.  For this, and all I ask for....I ask in the name of Jesus.  Amen.