"MY LETTERS TO GOD"

Monday, March 16, 2020

John wanted to write a book, Lord. He kept telling people that he wanted me to help him. "Just a small one", he said. Dear One.....I don't understand. It would have been good to help him go through the answers to prayer he felt were going to save him. He felt assured that the five month chemo plan would free him from the confines of the terrible disease that he was afflicted with. We both did, Lord. Seldom are you ever told that you will be cancer free in six months. Now we know that it was not Your plan at all.

I wish so much, dear One.....that it had been. I just cannot hardly take it into my brain. He's not here with me....in the next room sleeping. He'd be upset I'm still up. He'd say, "You need your rest....why don't you come to bed." I always assured him I'd be okay. It's almost 2 AM, now. I took that sinus medication. Too bad I took the daytime pills. Right now, Lord.....with what has happened, I would rather sleep.

Thank you though, Lord....I have needed to talk. I just haven't. I've let Your servants pray for me. To lift me....to give me strength. I have to walk on my own, Lord. You can give me Your strength. I am too weak on my own. John's favorite verses I've decided to take on as my own....they will of course always be with me. Proverbs 3:4,5 and 6 tell me that if I trust in the Lord with all my heart....if I don't lean on my own understanding of anything that happens....and if I acknowledge You in all I do....You will direct my paths. I believe You will.

It's a little scary, Lord.....this path, I'm on. My heart is breaking. I have been very used to having a loving, patient, Godly, preacherman by my side. No one could make me laugh like he could. You picked out the perfect husband for me......dear One, I will forever be grateful. I don't know what would have happened to my life if You hadn't chosen him for me.

Of course, I am going to wait on You. I'm going to try very hard to be patient. Please show me your way. Give me Your peace. Give me Your presence. Give me the hope of a brighter day.

In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth.....I speak and ask for mercy. Amen.

D

1 comment:

TimelessladyMarch 24, 2020 at 5:39 AM
Aunt Corrine, I love your posts. I love you. Please keep writing your prayers here...they are beautiful.
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Introduction to "My Letters To God"

My letters to God came about by my need to communicate with Him on a regular basis. I needed to, as a christian, a wife and a mother notwithstanding, pray every day. As a young mother I found myself almost continually interrupted by my two little girls. All for necessary and legitimate reasons. You and I both know satan uses every trick in the book to keep us from communing with God and I felt that he was definately getting the upperhand. So, one day out of sheer desperation, I grabbed a sheet of paper or a notebook (I don't remember) and began to scribble out a prayer for God to come and rescue me. I needed to tell Him EXACTLY how I felt. I needed Him and felt that this was my only recourse. Invariably, before I started writing, when I was interrupted I hardly ever would go back to my devotion time. I'd forget where I was in my prayertime and it all seemed futile.....after all, the wash had to be done, the beds had to be made, baths needed to be taken care of.....etcettera.....etcettera....etcettera. After the first attempt, I tried it again and again until this wonderful habit was formed for me. I could literally stop mid-sentence and almost always go back , and pick up where I had left off. As I found my time with God lengthening because of my determination to do this, it ended up being my solace. Even with two more daughters and a son as the years went by. I often found that it was truly a wonderful thing when I would search for a word that described what I REALLY felt. Many times in my prayertime prior to this , I would skim over the

hard parts that would express my angst to Him sort of mumbling, "Lord, you know what I mean.....". I was so terribly desperate to express how I really felt. To that, I could only tell Him in my tears and fears and frustration hoping He would still love me. I'd reread sometimes and find that I was alot meaner than I knew He would be pleased with.....or, I was not as bad as I believed I was.

Writing to God has followed me into the years that the world says are the "senior years". It doesn't matter to me. As long as I can hold a pen and write Him all of my heart thoughts, the "mind stealers" will not deter me. I am determined to be God's instrument. I will blow my horn for Him as long as He gives me breath!

As I share my letters with you, past and present, may you find in Him the solace that you need. He will give that to each of us. This is my prayer.

"MY LETTERS TO GOD"

My Life Verse

Monday, March 16, 2020

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