Well, Lord…..Seems like I am continually in need of a kick in the pants!  I wish it wasn’t so……but I find it to be true. 

I have been reminded over and over how very blessed I am. “How can I say thanks for the things you have done for me……things so undeserved, yet you did to prove your love to me. The voices of a thousand angels could not express my gratitude….all that I am, or ever hope to be…..I owe it all to Thee.”  That is my heart song to You this morning.  I feel that the little chorus we used to sing as children….”Running over, running over….my cup is full and running over. Since the Lord saved me….I’m as happy as can be.  My cup is full and running over.”

I do have to admit…..I’m not always “happy as  I can be.”  I remember when You pressed me to fulfill the scripture that suggests we “be thankful  in all things”  after John died.  I inwardly groaned…..maybe outwardly too.  I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.  You say it.  You sing about it.  But, until you face the facts of what you have to  live with now…..it’s so very hard to say the words.

Lord, You may remember that my attempt to write it out was a little pathetic.  I didn’t inwardly speak those words and really mean them.  I wrote the words because I believe it is what You want from us.  I believe too, that You require obedience from your children….so there’s that!  Plus, I wanted to see how You would work this out for me.

I do remember sitting on the couch, writing out my letter of thanks toYou.  I felt You wouldn’t be pleased because I didn’t really mean it…..but, I did it because I wanted to show You that you could count on me to be faithful in what You wanted me to do.  It had to be You suggesting it…..it certainly wasn’t me.  My first reaction wasn’t respectful. “You’ve got to be kidding…..what do You want from me?”  Anyway Lord, I think it took a few days for me to realize that You did suggest it and if I didn’t do something about it, I wouldn’t get any rest.  I knew then that You would just keep bringing it up again and again until I wrote out the words to You. 

I have to say, Lord…..I don’t know what I expected when I wrote out my letter to You….but, I did feel a sense of peace within my heart and spirit.  A sense that You would fill in the gaping holes of my distress and give me a sense of serenity about it all.  I think about these dates of November.  It was when John and I received the news that he had a rare form of Hodgkins Lymphoma.  You took him to be with you almost exactly three months later.  How precious he was to me.  Thank you for letting me have him by my side for 56 years.  I will forever be grateful.

I would suppose….You will “suggest” throughout my life other things You are concerned about. I will pay attention, Lord.  This close to Your coming back for us, I want nothing to hinder.

I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.