I'm not even sure what to say, Lord. Every time I pick up a pen or place the computer in my lap
to write....I never know what You are going to have to endure. As I begin to write, I feel my
words tumbling over each other to be written.....mostly because I am trying to put my feelings into words that explain the turmoil.
The devotional I read today really spoke about how I let my emotional being run my life too much. I had forgotten, once again, Lord....that it is how I react to all of the hoopla that really tests how far I have come with Your direction. When I falter and give in to my "feelings".....well, I don't like what happens then. I don't feel like I am running a tight ship. I feel that at any moment, my ship could be overcome by a rogue wave and then I'll be bailing for dear life!
You have given me so much to lean on in the scriptures. Way too often, I am not being as diligent as I should be in this area. Too lax. Too busy. Too tired. Too needy.
And.....just look at what I have written. It all goes around and around and around. Laxness, busy-ness, tiredness, neediness. Each word draws the same conclusion.....if placed into Your
care. Peace. If I am too lax....then I feel ultimately guilty because I'm avoiding doing the time
with You and feeling the joy of Your salvation for me......If I am too busy.....I am lax about read
ing your Word and writing to You.....it takes time to do these things.....time perhaps better
spent doing my work and doing the scriptural work later. ( Isn't it funny Lord.....and I am not
talking funny HaHa! ..... our work always wins out over the devotional time with You.) It never
fails....in my life anyway.....You always are in the back seat, tapping me on the shoulder...saying,
" Uh.....could we talk a minute, please?" Lord, I do know I am getting better at this part. I just
would like to work on this a little harder. Bringing it to the light by writing it "out loud" sort of
does....and I find it a little embarrassing to do so. It's sort of nice to have everyone think I'm
perfect! HeeHee! I know. I jest, for sure!
I read some wonderful verses today. I love the ones I have memorized from the KJV and can't ever seem to replace them with the more modern versions....but this one sounded so neat. I love to read and re-read them. Isaiah 43: 1b....."Don't be afraid. I've redeemed you. I've called Your name. Your mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. 2) When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you are between a rock and a hard place...it won't be a dead end...because I am your God....your personal God, the Holy of Israel....your Savior. I paid a huge price for you."...and Lord, on and on You go....telling me and anyone else who will listen and believe....that You love us....right where we are. I am so grateful for this Lord. I am overwhelmed with the love You show to us. The fact that You endure our roller-coaster-behavior sustains me. I am so sorry that You have to deal with that part of me. I'd like to be a better servant. I remember a few years ago, (I'd have to go back in my journals and find it....) but, I was so tired of being a servant. I was disgusted with You and filled with weariness. I also remember that You put Your foot where it would do the most good....and I saw, once again, that IF I CHOOSE TO BE YOUR CHILD...I WILL BE A SERVANT. And, Lord....I choose to be Your child. And, I choose to be a servant, also.
What happens, Lord? Why do I have those days that truly must disappoint You. And, then....
why do I keep engaging that behavior?
Once again....Your ladies from the PROVERBS 31 MINISTRIES....have given me the devotion
for today that I needed.
It's human to become agitated....stressed....emotional. The healing part comes when You help
us to react to that part of our nature. If I give them free reign....trouble ensues. I become
"unstable"....."lose sight of God"....."say and do things I regret". The verse for today reminds
me again....."Don't let your heart be troubled....Ye believe in God.....believe (trust) also in Me."
John 14:1
Over and over, I am reminded of Your love.....and the forgiveness You freely give. How do I
ever thank You for these things? Unmerited favor of God. Oh, Lord. Give me strength to
never falter in my appreciation for Your grace.
And, once again....I ask for Your blessing on this day.....for the requests of my heart and the
protection of those I love. All in Your name. Your way. Amen and amen.
Corrine, Once again you spoke right to me! Thank you for your letters as a follower of Christ, I too want to be the best that I can be,Our Lord deserves nothing less. But being humans, we give less than our best, too often. I pray God will Bless you ,and thank you for keeping on, keeping on. Bonnie
ReplyDeleteGreat post as always...I like the new backgrounds you've been experimenting with also.
ReplyDeleteI think of all the times I put HIM in the backseat...I don't want HIM to be there but it happens. It makes me sad to think I do that too often not even realizing it. I want to do better....I will strive to be better because I do want him behind the wheel...not me.....and true peace does come when we are in the right place with HIM!
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