Jesus, Lover of my Soul!

Over and over I am amazed at the sustenance I find at the foot of the cross.  It is always a surprise somehow.  I guess I will continually be bowled over by the level of care with which You provide, Lord.  So often, I find myself searching;  or is it waiting?  Maintaining until.....which is sort of waiting also....but,  it's almost like I expect something earth-shaking to rock my world......and shake me from my reverie.  Why am I so morose?  Why do I always expect the worst?  And, if it doesn't come.....I feel no relief, even then because I'm sure it's coming.  Lord, I always expect for You to rescue me, though.....and to no alarm or failure on Your part.....You do.  Every time. 
The song "Jesus, Lover of My Soul" went through my mind as soon as I thought about writing this prayer blog today.  I have looked at the words and I see that once again, it is a "Rescue me, please!" song.  I am perhaps putting too much emphasis on the "waiting for the ax to fall" scenario.  It is only my personality quirks, maybe.  But, I do know that I know I am not alone in worrying about it.  Noooo.....I'm not worrying.....not really.  I'm just letting it go to Your discretion, Lord.  I sincerely believe that nothing comes to me that you have not been aware of....and have nodded affirmatively as You have thought.... "Yes, that will help her grow!"  I  maintain that I should be extra careful to make sure that my armour is on nice and secure.  The thought that satan could seep through the cracks almost makes me crazy sometimes.  I need an extra application of the silicone caulk stuff.  Lord, I always talk about this because I think about it so often.  I just told the ladies in Sunday School yesterday, to not let their guard down.  This satan creature (sorry, I refuse to capitalize him) is out to get us. "Every legitimate trick in the book", I said to them.  He will use every legitimate phone call, visitor at the door, child or spouse in need.....anything......to stop us; to cause doubt; to raise our fears; to keep us too busy to concentrate on You and what You need for us to do.  Your plan for us.  Your desire for us to meet our goals that You have already sanctioned. And then.....after all that, I very often feel exhausted.  (he uses that, too!)  I find it easier to sit down and think about it.....and do nothing.  If I could conquer that last area I would feel like I could breathe easier, Lord.  I do not like feeling that I have failed You in any way.  People in my life that observe all of the " this , that and the other" about me....and either like me or not.....often plague me (because I can't make them all happy) but Jesus.....my hope and all-out goal is to please You.  You know what my "best" is. 
Where will it take me?  I am concerned about one place. The one You are preparing for me.  Oh, Lord.....make me the instrument for You that You need me to be.  Let me to Thy bosom fly....while the nearer waters roll, while the tempest still is high!  Hide me, O my Savior, hide....till the storm of life is past.  Safe into the haven guide...O receive my soul at last!  I will forever hide in You, Lord!  I have no other recourse.  You are my safety net.  You are.  You are. 
All I need.....all I desire.....is in Your care.....and prayed for in the name of Jesus.  Amen.