You know, Lord....I'm not sure this is an "outloud" post or not.  I guess we'll decide when I'm done talking.  It's the oddest thing.....I remember so well.....asking You that my mother not die on or around my first granddaughters birth.  I just felt that it wasn't a good thing to sort of have the memory of both events at one time.  You allowed it  I know.  I have resolved that.  But, tonight.... on the day we are celebrating the eighteenth birthday of my beautiful granddaughter, I can't seem to think of anything else.  The day was memorable not only because of her birth but, we had arrived early at the prediction of a huge snow storm that was to shut down the area.  Just in case, we wanted our daughter to feel at ease with us there for her.   I guess, Lord, that I am thinking about the trip up to her home.   On the way there,  I stopped at the rehab hospital to see my mother, I knew something wasn't quite right. She has been there nearly five years.  She had been unconscious for one year.  My brothers and I wondered how long her health was going to hold out.  She had lived much longer than anyone had thought.  But, I did wonder how long her body would subsist on the ventilator.  It was so awful to hear that constant sucking and whooshing sound.  I can still hear it.  Smell it, even.  It's an uncomfortable memory.
Thinking about it all sort of makes me sick, Lord.  But....remember, that afternoon, Lord?  When I walked in
the nurses alerted me that they were noticing a change in her.  Her temperature was lowering, they said.  I couldn't believe how cold she felt when I bent to hug her.   Lord, when I left that day, I had a sense that I would not be seeing her again in that place.  A few days later, after our granddaughter was born and we had welcomed her home.....I was holding her close.   It was late and I got word that mom was in the process of dying.  I remember looking down at this precious little child...feeding her while her mother slept through the night.  I recall making the decision.  I believe You guided my thought process as I thought about the storm....my son-in-law driving me the 2 hours it would take to get to her side.  Lord....I really believe staying with my responsibility there with my girl,  was the right thing to do.  I had given my mom all I could for as long as I could in every way that was within my power.  Now, I felt that she was headed to You, Lord.  I was content in knowing she would be with You soon.  Nothing I could murmur in her ear would change anything or give her comfort.  Thank You Lord for that assurance.  I cannot believe it has been 18 years since she died.  Lord, thank You for comforting her when I could not.  I appreciate the power of Your love to give us peace in the storms that come into our lives.  The ones  that seem to go on forever.......and the ones that come and go so quickly, we barely have time to even react.  It is my hope and goal, Lord.....to continue to allow You to give me wisdom and a sense of assurance in the decisions that I have to make.  I give you praise.  I honor Your power.  I thank You.  My children.  My grandchildren.  My precious husband and the love and life that You have allowed us to have.  You, are my salvation. 
The timing of it all  does not matter anymore.  Your presence  surrounding our lives is what is vital to us.  Stay close Lord.  I need You.....all the time.  Amen.   PS a day later......I'll post.  You deliver, Lord.