Every time I check into this blogsite, I am prompted to put down a "Title". And, every time I do.....it stretches into a montage of other avenues to go down. Lord...my thoughts are scrambled. I have my list. I stick to it pretty religiously.....and I am actually crossing things off.....so that is progress for me.
But, I am wandering around in my mind's eye.....taking something to one room (in my mind) and ending up in another. And, so it goes. I'll be anxious to get on the road and heading to my son's home.....and enjoying with him his last few days as a single guy. We've all prayed for this. We've hoped. Even did some fasting. Now it is becoming a reality. Thank You Father for watching over this one we love. This child of ours. Remembering how excited we were to have a son......but , never expecting one....my baby son came home to a room of pink and white checks and a "Holly Hobby" motif. I planned on putting our new little one in with "her" little sister. Things quickly changed didn't they, Lord.......we went from pink to orange football helmets and brown baseball bats. We felt so filled with Your bounty of blessings in giving us 4 healthy little girls and at last, a son. And, that is what it has been. Blessing after blessing after blessing. The encounters with life throughout the journey our son has been on have taught us that YOU, Lord........run the show......and without any doubt we embrace it. I have often thought I had things pretty well figured out......and at last said a prayer of commitment.......and then found that I was "committing MY plan to You". That, is not what You had in mind when You took us into Your own heart and promised to show us the way we should go. I know, Lord.....You always have had Your hands full when it comes to directing my life.
As compliant as I am at times.......I find that I am stubborn as all get out when I think I am right. Almost righteously so. Thankfully Lord.....You save me from my determination to "get it right" and show me that You, dear One, knows what truly is best for us.......and for those we love. I recently spoke to my class about how Mothers who think they have their children's best interest at heart, can do such irreparable damage that can sometimes never be undone. I have seen it happen. I ache at the result of the sadness that has ensued because of blind determination to have things their own way. Lord, I have prayed for wisdom in the past because of worriment over doing this exact thing. I believe You led me in the way I should go. A lot of the cause of worry was the over-analyzing......and the fixation on "I Did It My Way!"......Frank Sinatra not withstanding. Lord, thank You for the delight of Your presence when I didn't know what to say.....or advise. Thank You for the wonder of a prayer answered and the devil defeated. Thank You for the power of fervent prayer and the result of what we feel are unanswered prayers......actually giving us the desire of our hearts. In all things, I find myself
blessed beyond all I ever imagined. As the years go by I give You praise, Lord. I thank You for the
gift of Your bountiful love.
So often.....too often......I mope. I peruse the pages of my life and moan. And, there is no reason....so, I blame the evil one. I think he waits for my guard to be down.....and my resistance low. I ask for Your divine intervention. "Search me O God......know my heart. Test me and know my anxious
thoughts.....see if there be any way in me that makes You sad........." and as soon as You do, I promise to fix it. I know that even though I struggle with the constraints of depression, I place my heart's desires in Your hands......and know that You have promised to be "close to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit." How You accomplish this to those of us who lay exposed to the lies of the evil doer is only one more amazing thing that You do. Thank You Lord. I have a lot more to say and pray and ask and on and on......I'll save it for next time, unless I get desperate! All....dear One.....all of this.....I present to You in the name of Jesus. Amen.
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