Lord...I feel a little "not quite right"! I've been living out of a suitcase. You and I know what that means.
I have too many clothes with me for what I really need.....so there's not enough room left to put in there what I really need. I have extra stuff to carry besides the suitcase. I have a bag for my Bible, my notebooks, and a book I'm currently reading for Sunday School. I have another bag for my "pills". I have a bag for my current craft interests....and a special light I use for it. Since there is a little extra room in that one, I place all of my sleep apnea paraphernalia. I also have a really nice bag for my computer and cords. Writing all of this out looks ridiculous, Lord. A special pillow and "blanket" added to the mix is added humiliation. I am most certainly the highest form of the term "bag lady". Yet, with all of my stuff......I rode away from my last stop on the list without my "notebook". I feel like I left a limb behind. "Can you do without it, Mom?", they called and asked. "Yeah, I guess so.", I answered. Dumb and dumbest move I could make.
I feel like my life is in there. I write everything I find that I think is important....recipes, devotionals, prayers to You, unsorted trivia, addresses and phone numbers. All that I take into my brain for about 4 months. Lord....how do I sort all of this out? What lesson can I take from this? First of all, I think the "less clothes" thing could be an answer for me. Like leaving some room for what IS important.
The extra bags just add to the confusion in packing and "finding where I put something" later. One place. One place. One place. One place. Have I mentioned.....one place for it all? Okay. So I have settled that. Haven't I? Oh, brother.....dear One. My focus is slightly off-kilter. Always has been. I always contend.....if I take it all with me.....then I don't have to buy it when I get there. So, I have it all with me. I just never can find it all when I want it. I have a few sewing supplies with me. I have a glue gun and glue sticks. I have breakfast bars here and there.....plus a few other snack items.....that are more than likely crushed. Wouldn't You love to go on a trip with me? Now......where is that hair dryer. Yes, I KNOW I brought it. Which bag is it in? "My hem just ripped.....where is that thread and needle? No, it's not in this one......okay, here is some tape .....that will work in a pinch!" What is the point of bringing the house with me? So, I will feel like I have "it" all together? No. It never seems to work for me. I end up going to buy more....because I can't find what I brought. I think I could start a reality show about "Hoarders on the Road". I do feel like my Mother. She took it all with her too. I think she must have had an index system though! So anyway....Lord.....what do I take away from all of this jumble of words I have written to You. Help me think. Show me what is the most important for me to remember. Give me an insight as to what really is needed to be content for the time I spend away from home. Clothes to wear...a few cosmetic needs...my iphone... my computer...my notebook and Bible....my sleep machine.....and duck tape for good measure. Okay.....let's see if I can pare it down a little more. Yes, Lord.....I will work on that. I'm pretty sure I can!
As a little girl, I thought one day as I looked out of that second story window.....what would I need when you would come to take me to heaven. All I could think that I needed....honestly and truly.....was that favorite long white nightgown that I loved to wear to bed. I had to have only been about five or six. Lord, that's all I wanted to take with me.
As I age.....and think about the years that have passed.....and the things that have changed throughout,
I wonder.....and think that the little white nightgown gave me a sense of security.....within and without. Lord, provide my white nightgown of complete fulfillment on the journey I take with You every day.
"All I need....I've found in Jesus". I can't remember any more words to that song, Lord. But, I think I already know what is most important. YOU ARE ALL I NEED.
I feel as if I need to say I am sorry, Lord. I bother You with all of this rambling....when there are so many with so much to bear.....yet, I know how You understand me.....and take my thoughts and turn them into what I need for today. I'll be watching. I'll be waiting. You won't believe what a gem I will turn out to be. I promise, I will make You proud.
I speak all in the name of Jesus. I bless You, Lord. Amen.
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