Sometimes,  I wonder if I am coming or going, Lord.  I try to diligently follow Your word....and each time I think I have  my act together.....okay.....not, each time......but, help please.  What does this mean?  I read from yesterday's devotional.....Exodus 13:21a....."By day the Lord went out ahead of them."  Concentrating on the context of the devotional, I was encouraged that You go ahead of us....seeing what we will face.... nodding and approving (perhaps) that we can be faithful to You and live a victorious life that particular day.  Lord, You saw me.  I was in my lane, watching carefully in my mirror, side and rear view....even blind spot.  Lord, then I heard horns blowing.  Why?  I thought, "People just don't know what the "yield" sign means".  Then, an engine revving and angry eyes pierce my spirit.  Regrettably, Lord......I didn't respond as You would......I am pretty sure of that.  Why does my constitution constantly get barraged by the wiles of the devil?  I have no doubt that it is him.   He always tries my commitment to You.  Even after I have written to You....assured You.....re-affirmed.....he comes, sly as a fox, questioning my ability to stay true to what You have called me to.  I realize, Lord, that when I have smooth sailing, I am doing nothing to get on his bad side. (Is there any other?)  I am so thankful, Lord, that You do continue to work with me.  That You stop and pay attention to me.....that You care that I need Your intervention on a pretty regular basis.  I have a bit of a streak of ......do I really call it meanness?  Lord, You are the creator of me.  I do tend to disappoint You at times with my issues.  I'd like to not call them "anger issues" but,  I  know that is what they are.  People are so .....unkind.  (That word was not my first choice, Lord.)  Could You watch over me a little more closely.  Boy, would I love to surprise You.  I'd love to just smile and wave when people get mad at me......maybe that is what would be a better response from me.  Horn blowing never seems to do the trick!  Jesus, when I see such chaos , sadness, and depravity in the world, it truly seems ridiculous to speak of such tripe, but , I live right here....right now......and it concerns me that my spirit would ruin my testimony for You.  That, dear One, is what I need contained.  I read such special words the other day in a devotional.  Please, Lord, help me to remember what it said.  Words are easy.
Doing, is so much harder.  I vow to You Lord, that these words will stay with me.  I repeat them to You in my version.....I make it my prayer, Lord, that the plans, and decisions, and choices I make.......and the way I spend my time.....the thoughts I entertain.....and the company I keep.....and mostly, the manner in which I live before others......ALL OF IT.......will point anyone who hears or sees me, to Jesus.  Lord, it is my joy to serve You.  There are times when I feel sad that at my age, people irk me so......but, Lord.....Okay, there are NO buts.  I won't allow it.
I will begin and end with the same verse of scripture, Lord from Exodus.  "By day, the Lord went out ahead of them......".   Lord, if You are being that diligent with me.....if You trust me that much......then, obviously, when I am in a situation where I am tested......and my mind seems to forget that.....I can live in a manner that shows Your power to save, and forgive, and love, and make You proud.  Since You are already there......I can be assured You are watching and praying Your child will make a smart choice.  (Like I said, horn-blowing is stupid!)
In the name and will of Jesus Christ, I pray and ask Your blessing.  Amen.