I continue to be amazed, dear One, how hard it is to sit down and write.  I have no trouble sitting down to do anything else.  The excuses that bombard my mind are endless.  And, You have heard them all.  Several times, in fact.  I think that is what You hear the most from us all.  Saved and unsaved.  I do think, the christian though can come up with some of the best ones.  Worded to You in such a way that makes us sound so righteous.  You must just shake Your head at our trying to prove how spiritual we are when we are either just too busy or too lazy.  I fall into both categories on more than one occasion.  Regrettably, Lord.  It is the words I use to describe my plight so many times.  I asked someone recently who reads my blog if they thought I was irreverent at times when I speak to You.  The answer was charitable.  They said, "Well, you are being honest with the Lord......in telling Him how you feel."  I am not sure, Lord.  I think there has been more than one time when I thought You might want to stifle my retorts.  You have been more than gracious to me.  Although, I wondered here and there why You weren't attending to my needs a little better.  I am not a fan of silence from You.  But then again, I'm not too fond of some of the responses I get either.  I do not think that I have ever once, not known exactly "why" You were disciplining me.  I know it must be so exhausting for You to have to tell me over and over what You expect.  Even as a young girl, learning the verse from Psalm 19:14, should have clued me in that my mouth could get me into trouble.  Being shy and introverted so much of my life, no one could ever believe I was so sassy, especially to my mother.  I thought I knew it all.  And, so.....I was insolent.....and got away with it most of the time.  Hmmm......"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer"......nice verse, Lord.  I'm not sure when I really learned the content of that verse.  Probably more than I cared to  as I sat by my mother's bedside so many years.   I expressed my angst to her and my sorrow on one occasion.....she could not speak aloud.....so I had to lip read.  But Lord, when she realized what I was saying, (and more than likely had waited years to hear), she tried to ease the pain I was having in telling her how I felt.  When I realized what she had said, we both laughed.  Lord, why is it so hard to behave......look how old I am!  I should be a little better at this by now.  You have warned me.  You have disciplined me more than once.  You always hear me say that I will do better.  And, then....I find myself speaking in a smart alec manner or speaking ill of another and there I am, disgusted with myself again. I know.  Others may think this is nothing....but, for me, it is getting control of my tongue  so the least natural thing for me to say will be squelched.  Is that what I meant to say? I don't know.  But, I know one thing, Lord.  For Your example to all of us.  When You were ambushed by the soldiers.......when You were spoken ill of by Peter.....and betrayed by those who wished You dead for their own gain......All of these people, Lord......were not defamed by You.  You did tell them the truth....(which they really didn't believe).....but, You did not ever betray them. 
Lord, I intend to be faithful.  To You, dear One.....and to those who call me friend.  I ask Your guidance and direction, and an intentional, directional shove if You need to get my attention!  Just because I am a senior, doesn't mean everyone has to know how I feel,  why I feel, or to what extent I feel.  You have always been the confidant I needed.....from my early days of motherhood to present day.  I believe, with Your strength guiding me and directing my ways....I will succeed in being the instrument You need. 
Thank You, Lord.  I ask all in Your name.  Amen