Why is it so hard to write "out loud", Lord?  Saturday evening I was getting my thoughts together about what I wanted to talk to You about.  More often than not, Lord, I just start writing.....sort of aimlessly......and find a niche.  I love knowing that You take that into consideration when I come to You.  Whether I am out of breath because I am running to You to tell You something  or when I come dragging my feet a bit.......You always accept me.  Thank You, Father, for accepting me as I am.  But.....getting back to Saturday evening......I'd already gone the whole day not writing and I was ready to finally quit making excuses and write.  Lord, I couldn't believe it when I got a phone call  telling me that they thought my account on facebook had been hacked and someone was pretending to be me.  Besides the fact that it is a pain in the neck, answering texts all evening and trying to make sure the problem had been solved.....I thought, Lord (?) why would someone go to all the trouble to pretend they were me.  Perhaps Lord, they just happened to put together the right letters and numbers and it was just happenstance.....but, still.....what thrill does that really provide one.  To me, Lord.....You know what it was?  It was just another roadblock satan uses to keep me from communicating with You.  The devil knows and uses every trick in the book to keep me from accomplishing any goals I have set up for myself.....and loves when he can prevent my writing to You, whether I am writing in my black and white composition book or on the computer.  I find that trying to be as consistent as possible.....forcing the issue and not letting him force my hand, literally and figuratively, I am the winner.  You, dear One, are the force to be reckoned with.  You will always have the last word.  I can thankfully, count on that!  See.....I am writing!
And, I will continue to do so until You take away the ability for me to do so.  The old chorus said......"I am determined ......I've made up my mind.....I will serve the Lord."
To me, Lord.....writing You.....telling You the secrets of my heart.....sometimes, whining a bit,  bemoaning my life and/or behavior......all of it .....seems to fade as I talk to You in my way.  I am sure You are reading it in the context it is written.  Whether or not You are hearing, reading or perceiving......I've been at this long enough to know that it helps to heal my heart when I give You the contents of it.  Knowing You love me and care how I feel, touches me and lifts me to levels of spiritual strength I've never dared dream for, let alone write about.  You are my King.  You are my hope.
I praise Your name and love to think about the places where I was weak.....and You lifted me.  The areas of my life where I could do nothing but breathe Your name.....and I knew You were listening......and comforting.  Always, Lord......the times when I heard only silence.....that deafening noise of silence......I knew, without a doubt, You heard me.  I have to tell You, Lord......those particular times.....are especially hard for me.  I am grateful though.....because  those times  I think You are coming up with a plan.....hoping, when presented, I will go along with it.  Usually a lot of time (as I view time) has gone by.....I am so grateful for the answer, I envelope it, lock-stock-and barrel, and  I know whether the journey be long or short, I have Your divine leadership out in front of me, as a shield.  Thank You, Lord.  Thank You for wanting me to be part of the flock.  And, Lord.....that is all I care to be.  I would ask that I would lose the desire to want to go off on my own....investigating areas of life that will only get me into trouble.  I have tended to do that in the past.  I should have known better, but that stubborn streak seems to have a life of its own.
"You gently call me ..... into Your presence.....guiding me, guarding me......", Lord, all of it is my joy.  You give me what I need.  You help me.  You love me.  You need me.
What?  Yes, I did say it.  You need me, don't You?  With all my quirks.....and approval-neediness, etcettera, etcettera,  and etcettera.  You do.  So, with all of my might and courage coming from Your strength in the times of my weakness, I will try to be a shining light.  I promise.  And, before I get into any more trouble with my words, I will ask all I ask, in the name of Jesus.....His divine will and power.  Amen.