I have sat here this morning, Father .....(now, afternoon) and thought about writing my prayer blog post.  First, I drank coffee.....close to six cups.  Then, I read my scripture for the day.  I drank more coffee.  I played a couple games.  I caught up on the facebook site.  I caught up on my email......called an aunt and caught up with her.....played more games.  Other than doing an activity that requires getting off the couch, I have put off writing.  This is soooo stupid, Lord.  You are my friend, dear One.  You never are that hard for me to unveil my thoughts to.....and yet, I put You off, silently saying, "I don't have time now, Lord......which is, as You know, a lie.  I am tired of being a slug.  Please help me.  Let's play "Kick the Can", and I'll be the can.  When I do this......when I falter in coming to You..... quickly and often, I berate myself terribly.  Why is praying.....out loud and/or written word.....so difficult?  Baring my soul is about the only way I know how to write to You.  Even when I speak aloud in prayer (and always sort of "go on and on").....knowing that only if my heart is speaking truth to You...You will respond in kind.  I guess.....or surmise that it is, indeed , the energy it takes from me.  If I am not speaking truth to You.....well, I guess, there is no need to speak at all.  I love believing that You read my heart thoughts with all the empathy You have.....noting where and when You will entertain any possibility that my thoughts and concerns are worthy of Your consideration.  Of course, I have to admit, when I am pretty sure we are on the same wave length....and You answer according to how I see things.....I love that.  But, I have learned a time or two, that You definitely have higher and loftier ways to deal with what I pray for.  Considering that You are God, and see the end from the beginning.....I treasure the thought that You love me.....and mine.....and want our best for Your glory.  I have to also admit, that what I assumed would bring You glory, always does not.  I am stunned at how presumptuous I tend to be.  I am apologetic for that, Lord.  I am surprised too at how clueless I really can be.  I am also amazed that when I think I "have an answer"......"Your answer".......I am really wrong.  Jesus....help me.  I do need answers.  But, You already know that.  I guess I am figuring that since You know me so well.....I will start planning and executing before You want me to.  I can presume 'til the cows come home'.  What I want and need  to do, is to lay my requests in Your care....turn around and walk away.  I want You to have full access to my carefully laid out concerns.  Give me what I need.  And, show me.....lead me into all of Your truth.  So, Lord.....there You have it.  Once again.....I open myself to Your perusal.  See if there be any wicked way in me......anything that would make You sad or disappointed in me.....alert me quickly and then, help me to be obedient.
I ask all......in every way and will to be done.....in the name of Jesus.  Amen.