Lord, I find it annoying that I have to write a "Lord, Change Me!" prayer before I write a prayer on my blogsite.   I am wondering if I will ever have any peace.  I do have to ask You to give me an understanding of some of my angst.  I read a book several years ago....."Where Does A Mother Go To Resign".  I could easily stand in  that line today.  Except, it's not Motherhood I'd like to resign from.  What I need, Lord....is for You to change my heart to be more empathetic.  I need for You to give me another way to view the actions of others. I need for You to show me how You would feel.....and then maybe, I could follow Your cues.  I feel so disgusted about some of the decisions Your people make.  Of course, (You know how I am), feel that any preaching, teaching, leading or guiding.....has all been for naught.  No one seems to be learning anything.   I realize, dear One, more often than not, the enemy has one thing on his mind.  Making me feel like a total loser.  I do, Lord, constantly fight that imagery.......You know that.....but, You are kind and gracious, loving and fulfilling and  I have to continue to keep my eye on the right prize.  Thank You Father.  I could not make it through without Your help.  

As I moan and groan to You about my recent plight , I think of the warriors for You we read of in the scriptures.  I never thought so much about Moses and Aaron and the Israelites.  I am so glad Lord, to know and perhaps, even understand, how very irate Moses was when he came back  from his time with You and the sacred presentation of the Commandments.  Lord, what in the world!  He entrusted His people to Aaron, while he was gone.  With the miracles the people had seen with their own eyes and the amazing experience it had to have been.....their own selfish desires and impatience drove them to be unruly and impossible to deal with.  Aaron was too weak.....but, remember, he was not God's first choice.....(it was at Moses' request that God granted him a helper). Yeah, I know, Lord.  Here I am "reminding" You of what happened.  It still irks me that Aaron was so swayed by the people and the possibility that Moses might never return.  I don't know what he was thinking.  I don't think he was thinking.  Which in a way, shows me that so many were just as "human" as I am.  Lord.....it honestly scares me that I might have been swayed to that type of behavior.  Jesus.....I need Your intervention on a regular basis.  Why?  Because even though I want to do right......even though I want to act right.....even though I want to talk right.....I don't always.  I guess I sound a little like Paul in his explanation of human behavior  I wish I could be a little better than that.  But, I will work with what I have.  I strive to be the servant for You I should be.  

So.....what did I start complaining about?  I can barely remember.  You are the answer, Lord.  I know that.  I will do what I feel You are leading me to.  I will endeavor to answer when You call.  I will.....according to the plan You have for me.

In all I ask and pray about.....it's all in the name of Jesus.
Amen.